A/N: Back at it with my favorite two angst fueled force sensitives, resisting the honest to god true love and understanding they feel for each other with longing stares and close proximity standing because I just work that way.

Enjoy!

The Necessary Restoration

Chapter 2: The Plan

The second attempt at restoring the lightsaber was easier, though furthermore a failure. Rey had welded and molded the scrap metal of the hilt to form vents that would eject the heat upward and away from her hand when she wielded the beam. Her thought process being that by doing so, she could avoid another scalding imprint on her palm.

Rey eyed the small crystal, a thin but prominent crack dividing what would otherwise be a perfectly solid stone, and noted the discoloration. She held her breath as she set up the required pieces in ordinance, hoping that this time she wouldn't leave martyring herself with injury.

She reached out, raising her palms and hovering over the disassembled pieces as she let the Force flow through her, slowly closing her eyes and riding on her trust in her ability to get it right.

She didn't know how she knew that all the parts would assemble by doing it, but when she opened her eyes again, she found all the parts fit properly, finding their way to become what they were meant to be. Rey smiled in triumph, though she kept her excitement from distracting her at the task at hand. It wasn't over yet.

She hesitantly reached out and gripped the new hilt, finding it wedged more snugly in her palm than the last version. She had customized it to have a similar detailing in grip as her staff, finding her way back to the familiarity and comfort of it without really understanding that she was doing it.

She stood to brace herself, not yet giving up on the hope of her revised version, but not chancing her previous position on the floor and her unstable grip as the variables of another failed attempt. She squared her shoulders, and looked down at the lightsaber with caution.

It was now or never.

She flicked the switch quickly before she could stop herself, expecting to hear that same nasty hiss, but instead heard…nothing. Her eyes quickly darted down, as she reached to tap the unignited saber with the heel of her palm, the rattling becoming more profuse as Rey's frustration increased.

Another more forceful hit finally surged the beam into existence and Rey stumbled backwards, the beam shifting from a hiss to a furious cracking noise, and sparks of forced embers from the ruined beam began spitting out from the hilt and painfully landing all along Rey's arm.

Rey cried out, dropping the saber as she had the first time, and quickly backed away from it when her feet caught a rock below and she fell, her body impacting the coarse sand below her.

Quickly leaning her body upward so that she could fully sit up, she extended her arm and mustered enough energy to switch off the beam. Resting her elbows on her knees, her eyes made no delay of drifting down to her arm, the soft fabric of her sleeve blackened in spots where the embers had fallen and burned, and her wrist stung where the sparks had touched her skin.

She felt her resolve faltering, her teeth having to clench to keep her from crying. But she let her head fall into her palms and let herself sob despite her begrudging manner. It was no use. What a wasted—

"The sooner you admit you need my help, the sooner your inflicted injuries will stop affecting the both of us," a voice hissed suddenly, and Rey's head shot up at the sound of him. The cave flushed with increased warmth to match the humidity, his presence inevitably bringing his environment with him.

Kylo was pulling his glove from his hand, glaring at her as he watched her quickly rise to her feet. She curled her fists so tightly that she had to tell herself to forget the pain of her new inflicted wounds. Her tears still stained her cheeks, much to her embarrassment.

"Get out of my head," she replied through clenched teeth, her eyes narrowing. She had no time to handle his incessant nagging, and he had witnessed another failed attempt. Just looking at him roused something dangerous within her…

"I would," Kylo countered with equal annoyance. His eyes taking a minute to examine her, his voice taming slightly as he continued. "But you keep getting hurt…and I…well, I keep feeling it."

Rey didn't know what to say to that. Her eyes drifted back down to the lightsaber. Then to his pale hand as he flexed and examined it. The damage was minimum because of the gloves' protection, but he still had felt the consequences of her attempt and Rey tried to fathom how.

"I'm trying to fix the mess you made," she whispered, a tear dangerously close to escaping and betraying her resolve.

Kylo gazed at her, his face tensing, darkening. "I made?" his tone almost mocking her, but he turned his eyes down, shaking his head, seeming not brave enough to taunt her fully.

Kylo was a looming presence, a tense atmosphere circling him and entering hers the longer he stood with her. She wished he hadn't seen her cry. It wasn't as if she hadn't shown him her vulnerability before, but this time was different. They weren't on the same side. Not anymore. Her weakness was an indication that he had something to manipulate. Something to take from her.

The silence was profound, but soon he made no delay of bringing up what she didn't want to address.

"I could have shown you…everything," his words caused her to look up at him again, him taking a step closer, his expression determined. But there was something else— "Joining me would have meant you would have never had a mess to fix."

His eyes drifted down to the lightsaber then back at her. Something in them still urging her to see the truth in his words.

Her stomach plummeted. His stone face trying to hide what was there from her, but only reflected the man she once knew, this version just…pained, and angry. His eyes clouded once more, and his stance straightened. He turned bitter quickly.

"But you still think me a monster. After all I have shown you…After all I have done."

His words reminding her of Han Solo, of Starkiller, of Crait and the attempted decimation of the Resistance.

"No," Kylo replied, however, his eyes wandering along her face, her thoughts clearly not kept secret from him. "Not that."

Rey felt uncomfortable under his gaze, her thoughts beginning to flood with Snoke sliced apart on his lair floor, an extended hand amidst the embers, a team to defend themselves with red and blue no longer fighting against each other but with each other, a shift of brown eyes filled with doubt in the lift as she stepped closer, a hand that night that barely grazed her own but showing her all she needed to see.

Rey looked down, and shook her head. He was trying to relate Kylo's demons with his Ben's virtue and she never knew he could be so lost. She hadn't realized her eyes welled once more with tears, finding another rolled down her cheek.

"Kylo Ren is the monster," she turned away from him, not having noted how close he had become, and maneuvered her body around his artificial presence, so that she could go to carefully pick up the lightsaber. He watched her.

"I had faith in Ben Solo," she winced at saying the name and at her use of the past tense, her fingertips burning remembering the phantom touch back on Ahch-To, or perhaps it was the still heated hilt she gripped. She had brought him into her world that night, and not the other way around. The pull was working. Ben had been yearning, coming forth once more, she could feel it.

If he had sensed her thoughts again, she wasn't sure. But his next sentiment felt…less aggressive. It was exposed and willing, if possible.

"Let me help you," he must have whispered it, or spoken it in such a low tone that Rey mistook it for vulnerability.

He was still trying, ignoring all the foundation for which she had built. Rey looked into his eyes, hers softening against her better judgement. He had noticed, and his hand twitched, to which she presumed he wished to hold it out to her again, but he refrained. She noticed that about him. How his initial reaction was always shadowed by the darkness that resisted what Ben Solo truly wanted.

"Let who help me?" she challenged as she turned fully to face him, not caring that her tone accused him. "Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order"—saying it with such disagreement she had to tighten her grip around the lightsaber—"or Ben? Our last hope…our Ben."

She had meant for the last part to sound as if Ben belonged, still, to the light side of the Force. But her words, as clear as they had been, felt more to her like she had indicated that Ben was hers…her last hope. She didn't know how to correct herself, or even if she could.

She watched his resolve flicker with uncertainty, though he tried to hide it. His eyes shifted, and she dared to conclude that he was deciding who for himself, if only for a brief moment. His face softening just enough to humble himself for her to notice his pain. But It didn't last long. His eyes returned to her, and whatever thoughts surfacing in his mind were not ones that helped her cause, for he had stiffened his posture once more, his eyes become hard, as all evidence of self-reflection had disappeared.

Rey nodded, packing the lightsaber away. Tired of understanding the same truth, each time hurting her more than the last.

"Goodbye."

She didn't check to see if he was still behind her as she left.

The lava from the volcanos of Mustafar erupted and raged something horrifying, but did not compare to the fury of the state of mind she had left him in, and the thoughts she had forced him to contemplate.

Kylo glanced down at his palm, uncurling it to reveal the damaged glove, the embers having eaten away at the material, and he damned her entire righteous presence. Her accusations rid him of his morbid manner. Now, he was angry.

She couldn't even begin to fathom what her questions were clawing at. He wouldn't let her sink so deep into his morality, as if she would even understand it, and try to make amends. She had lost all privilege to it when she denied the existence of their connection and mutual understanding to run back to what came before.

And she had proven she showed no interest.

The slightest inconveniences became reasons to express his power, and his crew was on top alert for his whereabouts to avoid such instances. He dwelled in their fear, letting it feed his reassurance of his decisions. Of his personal stance regarding his character.

They were wise to fear him.

He entered the roundtable chamber just as the final members of the Knights of Ren were properly seated, and strode over.

"Let's begin."

Leia knew, of course. She didn't approve, but that didn't stop Rey from reassuring her of her purpose and the weight of her decision to be justified to her reasons. And Leia had faith in the Force.

There were allies out there, and there were young individuals who were sensitive to the Force. When Luke returned to the Force after Crait, he carried with him a firm belief. I will not be the last Jedi….Rey had felt it in her bones. Leia did too, and that helped Rey's cause.

After Rey had informed her of her plan to leave, Leia warned Rey to only advance with the mission if and only if she stayed in contact with the Corellian Resistance base, and checked in daily with reports. All were terms with which she had agreed to, seeing as it would still put her in contact with her friends and comrades, but allow her the opportunity to find her purpose in the Force, as Luke had after the fall of the Empire.

Though, she couldn't fathom being knowledgeable enough to lead an academy and train them to be Jedi like Luke had, when she herself hadn't even completed her training. And with a broken lightsaber.

"Still have your beacon?" Leia asked.

Rey nodded. Leia smiled and squeezed Rey's hand firmly.

"Be safe."

Rey embraced Leia softly, smiling sadly into the shoulder of Leia's jacket. When she let go, she let her eyes fall and turned as she left.

"Rey,"

She turned to glance at Leia, figuring she would send her off with a soft sentiment, may the Force be with you…. But Leia's face looked pained, her eyes guarded.

"Don't be led astray," she said, finally.

Rey's expression turned, inquiring, just as Leia turned to return to her business.

Be wary of my son, she meant.

"I hope you can make do with what you have, there really wasn't much I could find around the base," Finn handed Rey a small box of scrap metal and excess, giving her a hopeful smile.

Rey nodded, hoping her expression looked as thankful as she felt. "It'll do. Besides, I'm not sure the pieces I've already used are the problem," her thoughts drifting to the kyber crystal.

"Have the texts mentioned anything?" Finn offered, sitting beside Rey.

She shook her head slowly, "Nothing yet." And they wouldn't, she presumed. Even if they did have the knowledge of how to repair lightsabers, Rey was sure they wouldn't have information of how to repair one with a cracked crystal. She really was alone in figuring it out.

Well, not entirely. Maybe—

Her expression darkened, her hope faltering as she let her thoughts drift in such a direction, when Finn gripped her hand suddenly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes searching hers. She knew what he was referring to.

"Oh, yeah. I'm well," she scratched her neck, nervously, not knowing how to explain why she had looked so ill the last time they met. "It was nothing serious."

Finn nodded, his eyes examining her arm, noticing the pink blemishes from the sparks on her skin. "This is getting dangerous, Rey. You keep hurting yourself."

Rey retracted her arm. "I'm fine. I've dealt with worse," she didn't mean for it to sound so defensive, but Finn looked up and his expression looked a bit quizzical at her tone.

"We don't need the lightsaber to fight this battle, you know…We just need each other…and the Force. You can lift boulders and fling them at the First Order."

Rey laughed, finding his interpretations of how the Force worked as comical as Luke had when he first met her. "Sure. But I can't do it alone."

"You're not still thinking of leaving, are you?"

The change of topic startled her and Rey looked at him, pausing for a moment, thinking back to their last conversation the day prior. And her plans to move ahead.

It was true, she wasn't being useful. But she could be. And that sickened her.

She knew there were allies out there. There were brave individuals who wanted to fight the oppression. She knew she wasn't the only one who had something awakened within her. She could teach them what Luke had taught her, she could try…If just to notify them that they were not, in fact, alone.

But she looked back at Finn, and in his eyes was a home, the Resistance was a home. Leaving when they needed her most, she shouldn't entertain such thoughts. She had a family with them, she had found her belonging. And yet, she didn't have everything. She still had a void, something missing, not yet placating her.

Finn looked on, his eyes urgent and Rey knew the response she needed to give. But it was not one she could give without transfixing her with anxiety.

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes not leaving his.

Finn shifted his gaze from one eye to the other, fully taking in her pleading expression. It was silent for quite some time before he had finally responded.

"Then I'm coming with you."

Rey lowered her eyes and shook her head. "You can't Finn. Your place is with the Resistance. With Poe, with…." she trailed off, her thoughts drifting to the girl on the Falcon, the one he had taken such precise care of.

"Rose," he finished for her, his eyes falling as well. Rose had fallen into a comatose state from her injuries, the Med Bay was diligently doing their best to keep her vitals stable, but Finn had spent almost all of his time visiting and checking on her. Keeping an eye on her progress.

"And with you," he corrected. His eyes not letting her disregard their friendship for less than what it was. She meant so much to him. If only he could fathom her admiration for him as well. And how much that meant to her.

"Yeah," Rey nodded, letting her smile reach her eyes. "But they need you. The Resistance needs the same fighter who rebelled against the First Order, and was willing to die to save his friends."

"We have a few of those," Finn agreed, looking up, his gaze still firm but Rey knew her words had their impact. Rose had just about died saving him, nearly sacrificing herself for the cause.

"And you could come with me and try to keep me from harm, but I…I can't give you that same attention. That can't be my mission, Finn. I have to focus on why I'm doing this. I have to find others…like me. Those with the Resistance, and ready to fight."

Finn opened his mouth to protest, but Rey kept going.

"And how are you going to feel when she wakes up and you're not there?" Rey looked up at him. "I know all too well what that feels like."

Rey looked at Finn sadly, recalling the many days she spent worrying about Finn on Ahch-To, and the many times she despised herself for leaving him behind, especially in the condition he was left in.

"I can't let you do this alone," Finn replied.

Rey shook her head, her smile weak but reassuring. "Soon, I won't be."

Finn looked down, his eyes finding the ground. Soon she wouldn't be alone, not alone in understanding what burden she carried with the Force. Something he had no knowledge of.

Finn was left deciding for a long while, his face reflecting his options and how those options roused something in him. But ultimately, he agreed with Rey. His head falling as he sighed in defeat. He looked up at her and she gave him another smile. He nodded.

"When do you leave?"

"In the morning," she replied.

Finn nodded, rising and offering her his hand to stand as well. She took it.

"At least take Poe," he offered as they exited her quarters, and Rey laughed. Genuinely laughed.

"I couldn't steal him away from the oncoming battle, even if I tried."

I'll destroy her….and he was very nearly sure he meant it.

It wasn't the anger that provoked the sentiment, it was sure recognition. If he were to further down the path he chose, he would have no other choice. Continuing on meant destruction would inevitably follow, and she had made her decision clear as well, allowing him the opportunity to no longer confuse her loyalties, since they didn't belong to him.

She had chosen not to join him, not to listen to him, not to let him help her…

Greed and ambition had clouded his vision, giving him an alternate sense of purpose following Snoke and his demise. And he would be lying if he were to say that neither her presence or soft echoing voice calling his name might have been enough to change even that. But her eyes, filled with tears, only motivated him further to leave behind the pain and misfortunes of their burdens, and move forward. Take grip of what they wanted, not what they were told to want.

Didn't she see that?

She didn't agree. She would rather continue her disappointment and allow the world to abandon her, than to allow herself to be selfish, to allow herself to admit that she might want acceptance and purpose…with him, even.

Kylo had curled his hand into a stiff fist, glaring intently out into space, at the bare wall of the chamber he resided.

The castle wasn't what he had hoped to find, and he was disappointed for having had such wasteful faith. He had hoped to find answers, somewhere hidden in the miserable atmosphere of his once villainous grandfather's temple, but all he could reflect upon was his own misery and doubt.

He had hoped to solidify his purpose.

His soiled thoughts would make a martyr of him, not allowing him the pleasure of feeling triumphant even in his own mind. He gripped the edge of the bedding tightly, demanding his thoughts to focus on anything else. But his resolve was slipping.

His mind was filled with the unstable hiss of the blue lightsaber, and the fact that it bothered him so damn much was beyond his understanding. Her inability to fix the weapon shouldn't have been such a nuisance, but the fact that it brought him into her world…

It was telling, the circumstances that connected them. The lightsaber would remain broken until there was the necessary restoration of a different kind. The beam would hiss with the instability regardless of that restoration, and it would reflect its true opposed in all ways, as it was to be its equal. Progress could not be made without the intelligence and willingness of both minds that continued to resist the other.

"It would be easier to start over."

Her voice startled Kylo, and he lifted his head quickly to find himself in her chambers. Across the way, the girl was kneeling by the BB droid, turned away from him, her hand firmly gripping her staff to balance herself. "But I can't waste time. I need to work with what I have."

Kylo stood, his motions quiet but not silent enough to escape her. Rey turned her head over her shoulder and froze. A moment passed before she turned back to BB-8, and proceeded to stand.

"Can you relay that message back to Poe?"

BB-8 made soft sounds of approval before rolling past her and out the entryway, the door sliding to shut.

Rey turned her eyes to where Kylo stood, his eyes never having left her.

"What do you want?" she asked, much quieter than she had intended to.

She had grown accustom to Kylo moving closer, that it really shouldn't have affected her the way it did when he did again.

"You know what I want," he replied, his tone dangerously mitigated…tempting. He watched her watch him get closer, and he stopped when he was near enough to see the color of her eyes under the soft light, and witness the details of her face. His face softened slightly, and his dark eyes flickered between hers, reading whatever emotions were mirrored in her expression.

"Starting over would be easier," he emphasized her previous words, watching her face as it shifted. She remembered his words in the red room with his hand stretched out to her.

"That not what I was referring to," she replied as she looked away.

"I'm aware," he addressed her response, giving her a moment to return her gaze to his. "Did he tell you how to find them?"

Rey's grip around her staff tightened. No, Luke hadn't told her much of anything. But she knew there were more crystals out there, the text indicated that.

Kylo nodded, "of course not—"

"Why did you come here?" she interjected, her voice steely and annoyed. "I made myself clear, I don't want—"

"I know," he hissed, his shoulders squaring as something tense radiated off of him like a wave. "I'm not offering again."

Rey paused for a moment, her eyes examining him.

"Going to Ilum to find a new crystal would be a waste of time and effort, and I figured you smarter than to just give up."

Rey narrowed her eyes, "did you hear me just now? I'm not going looking."

Kylo nodded, a dark expression forming, "of course. And it like your manner not to seek out the truth."

Rey looked ready to reply, but stopped, her speech halted by his sheer overconfident sentiment.

"If you were a Jedi of my time you would have participated in The Gathering, along the others. But you weren't, were you?" He stopped and looked at her.

Rey held her staff so tightly, she felt it imprint in her skin. "You insult me—"

"No, you don't get it," Kylo interrupted. "That lightsaber…It chose you."

Kylo was so close he had to look down at her. His tone softer than before, making him look much less intimidating, but still overwhelming. "It continues to choose you."

Rey bowed her head, shaking it. "You're wrong," her voice thick and foreign. She looked up again and he found she looked defeated. "It's resisting me."

He paused, allowing a moment to collect his thoughts, and her a moment to avoid any embarrassment. It astonished him that he still wished to spare her feelings, especially after she had ultimately damaged his.

He shifted his gaze around his new environment, noting that any scattered junk he had seen last time was nowhere to be found. He assumed she was trying to be strategic, not giving him the satisfaction of finding out where the base was based on the clues of her environment. But then he noticed the satchel by the door, and her staff in hand once more.

"You're leaving…" he noticed, something igniting behind his dark expression.

Rey turned her eyes back to his, and in them was his answer. She nodded, anyway.

Kylo watched her and frowned. She was leaving the Resistance. She would be alone—

He would have reached out and gripped her elbow, pulling her closer, letting his questions and inquiries and desires be known, not letting her hide and deny him of it—But Kylo felt his fingers stiffen, resisting perhaps because he couldn't quite fathom what would happen if he did…

Rey could see his eyes and his conflict, and she stood still, hoping for any indication of a shift in morale. She knew what she would do if she did…

But Kylo kept his steadfast resolve, and shifted away. His eyes starting to fade from the yearning of what Ben wanted, and shaking his head.

"You won't find what you're looking for." He muttered, his voice varying.

Rey nodded, going to retrieve her satchel by the door before turning to look at him one last time. She figured he thought as much, but his assumptions she would prove were built on a faulty foundation.

And furthermore, she had found that even in his poise, through all of the characteristics that made up his demeanor since the night he held out his hand and offered her his allegiance, and after since he became the Supreme Leader of the dreaded opposition of her cause were kept…but then…as he looked at her from where he stood, she was reminded of his eyes that night on Ahch-To, when he touched her fingers with his across lightyears, and showed her the true desires of Ben Solo, and what that could be…

"Goodbye, Ben."

He felt her presence fade away as she stepped out from the threshold of her room in the base on the distant unknown planet, and soon, just like a fleeting whisper, she and the base and everything was gone. He found his environment dark and gloom once more.

And he realized, as he looked over at his lightsaber through the dark room, thinking back to her words, that she had called him "Ben", still, and he tried to resist what that did to his resolve.

A/N: Yeah, in this story, Kylo is lounging in Darth Vader's castle, probably wearing Anakin's bunny slippers and carving his name into the door frame as we speak...