Alright, it's finally done! Hope you all enjoy the end of A Promise!
Her footsteps echoed in his mind long after they left earshot, leaving him with a feeling he thought he'd never feel again: empty.
It was the same as that time, when she died in his arms. The most painful feeling of isolation ate at his soul then.
And now, it came for him again. But this time, he brought it on himself. All because he was afraid; afraid of letting her in. Afraid of allowing her to see how wretched and broken he was.
Now a new emotion took over: regret.
How could he say that to her? How could say such a thing?
He craned his neck to take in his surroundings. A couple of passersby were glanced at him warily from the corner of their eyes. Considering he just yelled angrily in the middle of a festival, their cautious stares were warranted. But they cut into his spirit, chastening him for what he had done.
Shame and regret welled up in his chest and he averted his eyes from the bystanders, choosing instead to gaze at the stone road beneath him. His eyes caught a glance of his half-eaten skewer. It was still warm, and its aromas still lingered about his nose, teasing him to take a bite.
So he did, but it tasted bland; nothing like it did just moments ago. The storm of pain and regret smothered his senses. His eyes tunneled to the stones at his feet and his ears caught only the muffled sounds of passersby.
This…
This is what he never wanted to feel again.
This feeling of crushing isolation. A feeling that threatened to drag him to the ground and flatten his being.
How long has it been since he felt this? Three years? Five? One hundred?
He couldn't even think straight. The only things clear in his mind were that he last felt this when she passed on and the pained expression Rena wore before she left him.
He must have stood there like a statue for days, but he knew it was only minutes. He knew he had to move, at least to begin returning back to the others. But…
She would be there. The one he hurt. She would still feel the sting of his words. He would still feel the sting of regret. It would raise questions when the two of them wouldn't speak more than five words to each other since their outing.
Maybe he could run away. Flee north to Bethma and hide away in the canyons perhaps. Or maybe backtrack to the dark forests in Feita and carve out a living among the cursed woods.
No, that wouldn't work. If he suddenly went missing after what happened today, the others would turn over the entire continent to find him. They'd probably even leave the Velder garrison forces on their own to focus on their search.
As that last thought crossed his mind, a grin slowly creeped across his face and his finally moved his feet. He shook his head slightly as he walked in no particular direction, as if it would somehow throw the expression off his lips.
The thought of them dropping the liberation of this city to come find him made him happy. But it also worried him. The lengths they would go to help a comrade could be their undoing.
But, he didn't want them, especially Rena, to see how pathetic he truly was. He knew that he would be incapable of even making eye contact with the Grand Archer now, let alone speak to her. She was perhaps the one closest to him, and now he pushed her so far away.
Was it because of their closeness that this hurt so terribly? Was it because of how much Rena looked like her?
The angry thoughts from before had vanished, but he could still hear their echoes silently taunting him as he walked aimlessly through the streets.
JUST SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU EL-FORSAKEN, NAGGING LONG-EAR!
The last words he spoke to her echoed in his mind the loudest, a shameful reminder of his pathos.
He clenched his teeth as if they could crush that event from reality. But the words were already said. The wounds were already opened. They would never be undone. They would forever be-
"Oh!"
"Ah!"
The bump against his leg snapped him back to reality and shook his skewer from his grasp.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't really paying attention to where I…" he started, but trailed off when he recognized the victim of his carelessness. It was the girl who was trying to sell he and Rena flower crowns not too long ago, and a few of her wares were now strewn about the ground around her.
"Ah! I'm sorry, sir!" she cried and scrambled to pick up the crowns. As he watched her collect the floral headpieces, he began to take notice of some of the finer details of her attire. Now that he was looking closer, he could see patchwork seams running along her dress, there was even a small section on the back that bore the seal of Residential Area 3 Grainery.
She must have been the child of peasants living there before the demons invaded. Now, even her home was taken from her. In a way, she was like him, one who had lost everything.
But what was this nagging feeling in his chest as he watched her dust off the flower crowns and heave a sigh of relief. It almost felt like she was… happy despite everything.
"Um… Sir, is there something wrong?" Her question snapped him out of his wandering thoughts.
"Ah. No, nothing is wrong. I'm sorry for knocking you over. I wasn't really paying attention."
"Oh, it's okay!" She put on a small smile and then began to look around him curiously. "Um… where did your friend go?"
That question stung a lot more than he thought it would have. "We... " Could he even still call her his friend after what he said to her? "We had a bit of a… a fight…"
"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that you two seemed like you got along well enough, so I thought…" She trailed off at the end, turning her head towards the ground dejectedly. Wait, how did she know if they got along?
"Wait, were you watching us?" he asked. She flinched slightly at the question, but she nodded her head nevertheless.
"Yes. I was watching you since you both arrived at the festival." She nibbled the bottom of her lip guiltily. "I was… watching for couples coming through the festival because I thought they'd like my crowns…"
"We… We're not a couple, um…" He didn't know her name, so he made a slight probe hoping she'd pick up on it.
"Ellie. My name is Ellie." She was a sharp kid, she noticed.
"Ellie. That's a wonderful name. I'm sure your parents thought it was a great name, seeing as they were the ones that picked it out for you." He allowed the corners of his mouth to curve up slightly. But…
"I… I don't know where my parents are…"
"Ah…" That was insensitive of him. An invasion was unfolding just over the wall and her home was on that side of it. It should stand to reason that perhaps she was now truly alone.
"It's okay. They said they'd catch up after they checked up on their friends."
"Their friends? Where were they?"
"We lived on the south end of the city, our friends lived a couple blocks north of us."
Oh no. The soldier in him immediately assumed the worst. During an invasion, a couple blocks was measured in steps, with each only bringing you closer to death.
Her parents weren't coming back. She was alone, and perhaps she didn't realize it yet.
He needed to change the subject. "So, why did you think we were a couple, Ellie?" While she did mention that she figured they got along, that didn't make them any closer than friends would be.
She paused for a moment. "Well, she was always smiling around you."
"Smiling?"
"Yeah, but you weren't. My mom told me this before she left; that there has to be the same number of smiles in the world as there are people."
"The same amount of smiles as people? In the world? But, Ellie, some people don't smile. How does that work?" He almost chuckled. It was such a silly thing, for everyone in the world to be smiling.
"Well, someone else smiles for them."
"What?" He felt his thoughts stop.
"If someone isn't smiling, there is someone else in the world that is smiling for them. This way, when they smile themselves, the world is filled with more smiles" He started putting two and two together.
"So, you think that... she was smiling because I wasn't?" He figured that Rena was smiling just because that was her default expression. It was rare to find the Grand Archer with anything but a smile on her face outside of combat.
"Yeah. She was always smiling around you." She started fidgeting with the flower crowns in her hands. "Was I wrong?"
"You know, Ellie, I'm not too sure myself now…" Was that really what was going on this whole time? She was just trying to cheer him up? She wasn't trying to probe him?
No! That bitch stuck her nose where she shouldn't have. I should've told her off ages ago! An angry voice yelled in his head. But he never remembered being so upset with her before.
Then it hit him. She wasn't the problem. He was the problem. He was afraid; afraid of letting her in. Afraid of allowing her to see how wretched and broken he was. Only now did he realize that those angry voices in his head were also frightened.
A little voice in his head told him he knew why; it was because he was scared. Scared that he would lose someone again. So he pushed her away so he didn't have someone to lose.
So, how was he going to make this right? A simple apology wouldn't do, especially after calling Rena that name. So he turned to the only ear that could listen.
"Ellie. I need some help. I think I made it hard for her to smile now. How can I put one on her face right now?" He asked her. She looked at him, seemingly dumbfounded, for only a moment.
"Well, if you smiled for her, I'm sure she'd smile back," she answered matter-of-factly. He couldn't help but chuckle at this.
Leave it to a child to solve an adult's problems.
"Ellie thank you." He pushed off his knee with his human hand and stood up. He knew what he had to do. But to do that...
"How much are those?"
"Mommy, is that a-"
"Pay it no mind, dear. Let's keep moving."
Her sensitive ears picked up the quick exchange of what was probably a child and their mother. But she couldn't confirm it, as she was seated in a tree, her head buried in her arms.
Blessed El Lady, how long had she been here? The tears, though now dried, had blurred her sense of time.
But his voice, his eyes, the pain on his face; all of it was as clear as a pure El crystal.
The last words he said to her were so full of pain and anger. She should've known better than to probe. One of Elder Branwen's pieces of advice sounded in her mind: Gungjie mollin jwiga goyang-ileul mul-eossda.
In the common tongue, it meant "a cornered rat will bite the cat." This was a saying that was shared between humans and elves, and it meant the same thing for both.
She pushed Raven into a mental corner.
And he struck back.
Long-ear he called her.
Never in her long life had anyone ever dared say that to her face. Every now and then, she'd pick up a whisper of it from some of the more xenophobic inhabitants of Elrios as she passed through with the rest of the party. But she would never confront them, always choosing to ignore them instead.
But today, she could finally say she had been called one. And by him of all people.
How dare he!? He knows better than to say that to me! What gives him the right to fling insults to my face! I was just trying to help! An angry voice chose this moment to rise up from her subconscious.
She pressed her head deeper into her arms, now pushing it up against her knees. She knew she couldn't silence that voice. It had a point; she was only trying to help. She didn't want to see Raven so upset.
He was always the distant one. The one that would walk a couple paces behind the rest. The one that would rise earlier than the rest, and fall asleep before everyone else. The one who always kept at least an arm's length between himself and the rest at supper.
The one who smiled the least.
As a comrade, he was easily the most dependable of the group. He always had sound advice to give to Elsword and Aisha, whether it involved combat or otherwise. While he claimed that he didn't get along with her, he was never below teaching Eve a thing or two about humans. He even got Eve into this new exercise routine. Well, at least he got Eve to get Oberon into it.
And he would always lend her a helping hand when she asked for it. Whether it was cooking dinner, moving something that was a little too heavy for her (usually Eve's equipment), or just lending an ear as they traveled to their next destination.
But he still felt so far away. He never got close enough to reach out and touch you. He always made sure there was enough room for another to pass through when walking next to you. And he never spoke of his past unless it was related to swords.
But his smile… Not the silly grin he puts on when he trounces Elsword during a spar. The one that occasionally graces his lips when the others are laughing around the fire. The one he wore just the other day when she played that grass whistle for him.
The genuine smile that tells her that he is happy. That was when he felt the closest.
As the past two years ticked by, she had been trying to reach out to him. To bring him closer not just to herself, but the others as well. She didn't want him to stay at arm's length all the time. They were friends, not just comrades.
And it seemed to be working. Now he walked with the group, not behind it. He was willing to brush shoulders with everyone. And he would even lean over into her own space to whisper in her ear.
But today, all that went awry.
When she saw how far he wanted to be from her this morning, she feared that he was regressing back to when they first met. That distant comrade.
She saw her friend leaving.
She didn't want to lose that man, the one whose smile brightened her day. She was so desperate to get him back that she…
She lost him.
The tears returned.
She should've just listened to him. She should've left him be. She should've let it pass, just like it always did! She should've-
"Rena?"
Her breath hitched in her throat and her head snapped up. She must have been hearing things. There was no way he was at the foot of this tree after what happened.
"Rena?" it came again.
She slowly turned her head down, thinking it was a cruel trick her mind was playing on her. But when her green eyes met his golden ones, she regretted not wiping her nose.
There he was.
It was Raven.
"Raven…?" she breathed. She couldn't believe it. Here he was, standing before her. And how terrible she must look! She quickly rubbed her nose and eyes on the edge of her glove. "What are you doing here? I thought…"
He tilted his head, waiting for her to finish. But she didn't want to say that she thought he had left them for good.
"Nevermind." She shook her head.
"I see," he said. His gaze started to wander around the plaza. "Can we… Can we talk?" He wanted to talk!?
"O-Of course!" She mentally chastised herself for sounding so excited. She would let him make the next move then.
And then an awkward silence followed.
"..."
"..."
"Er… Could you…?" he started, his gaze sizing up the tree.
"Come down? Of course," she finished for him. Swinging her legs to the side she pushed herself off the branch and landed gracefully on the ground.
Raven, ever the gentleman, looked away until she touched down. "Thanks. It's just that this thing…" He brought up his mechanical arm. "Isn't really suited for climbing."
"I understand."
Another moment of silence followed, and both of them couldn't look into the other's eye.
And then…
"Raven-"
"Rena-"
Silence followed again, but this time only Raven broke it.
"Why do I feel like this is something that should be happening between Elsword and Aisha?"
She couldn't help but giggle at this. "Yes, this is rather silly of us, isn't it? Well, why don't we just say what we want to say at the same time?" she suggested.
"Works for me." He nodded.
"Alright then…" She took a deep breath and then-
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
Both had a look of surprise and relief. But the shock quickly wore off and they each heaved a sigh.
"Raven, what I did… I didn't mean to hurt you. I-" How her voice quivered. Was she scared of what he might think of her now?
"Rena, please. I… I hurt you, too. I was just…" he started, biting his bottom lip. The words he was about to speak were what frightened him, but they had to be said. "... I was scared, Rena."
The elf's eyes widened in surprise. She had been trying to place what was bothering the Blade Master all day. To hear it was fear was both concerning and relieving. It brought relief because it meant that he was necessarily angry with her. And it brought concern because he wasn't one to be scared of much, if anything.
"Raven, if it's alright…" She wanted to know more. What was terrifying him so? "What is it that you are afraid of?"
Unlike before, when he snapped off angry replies, he set his jaw and his gaze wandered to his feet.
Could he tell her? Tell her of what scarred his heart?
"I… I'm sorry, Rena. I can't tell you." No, he could not.
Her ears began to droop at his answer. She was really hoping that he trusted her enough to open up to her. Maybe these past two years didn't bring them as close as she thought.
"But, please understand. It isn't you, Rena," he continued. "It's me."
She looked to him questioningly, so he continued.
"I trust you. I truly do. But I'm just not ready to tell you. Not yet, anyways." He looked to the open palm of his claw, a habit she recognized when he would think on his past. "But, someday when I am ready to confront my own fears, I will come to you."
He reached his human hand behind him and, after a moment of fidgeting with something on his belt, he withdrew two flower crowns. The same ones the little girl was selling not too long ago. She couldn't help the small gasp that flew from her chest as he held out one for her to take.
As she closed her fingers around the one offered to her, she felt a smile grace her lips. Looking to him, she now saw what she had been wanting all this time; his smile.
Her friend was back. Or perhaps he never left. Whatever the case, they were close again.
"Thank you, Raven," she said as she set her crown atop her golden hair. As she saw him put his own on his head, she reached out her right hand with her palm towards him. "Do you mind fulfilling a selfish request of mine?"
He looked at her hand for only a moment before nodding in assent. Reaching out with his own, he brought the palm of his right hand and joined hers. She never realized until now how big his hand was!
"We elves use little ceremonies from time to time. By appealing to the spirits of the El, we receive their blessing for many things. All I need to you do is repeat after me, okay?" she explained.
"Alright, I'll follow your lead."
"Okay. Follow along as best you can…" She closed her eyes and reached out to the surrounding spirits, requesting their audience. "Na, neoui chingu…"
"Uh… na, neo-oui chingu…" He wasn't expecting this whole thing to be in elvish, but he tried for her sake.
"Neoleul eodum sog-e beoliji anh-eul geos-eul seoyaghada…"
"Neoleul e-eodum sog-e... beolij-ji anh-eul geos-eul s-seoyagha-ada..." If he made it through this without biting his tongue, he would be impressed.
"Naneun dangsin-ui seunglileul chughahagi wihae geogieiss-eul geos-eul maengsehanda..."
"N-Naneun dangsin-u-ui seung-g-glileul chugha-ahagi wihae g-geogieiss-eul geos-eul maengs-sehanda..." At this, small orbs of soft, green light began to appear around the elf and man.
"Naneun neoui paebaeleul seulpeohagi wihae geogieiss-eul geos-eul maengsehanda..."
"Nan-neun n-neoui pae-ebaeleul seulp-peoha-agi wihae geo-ogieiss-eul geos-eul m-maengsehanda…" The orbs began to glow more intensely.
"Hajiman mueosboda…"
"Hajiman mueosboda…" The little lights were now moving towards their joined hands, forming what looked like a kind of knot.
"Naneun yeong-won-ui kkeutkkaji hangsang-iss-eul geos-eul maengsehanda…"
"Nan-neun yeo-ong-won-ui kk-keutkka-aji hangsang-iss-e-eul geos-eul maengseha-handa…" The individual lights now coalesced into a band, binding their hands together.
"Ne chingu."
"Ne chingu." On the final phrase, the band of light merged with their joined hands and Rena closed her fingers around his. He followed suit quickly.
He never realized how small hands like hers could feel so strong. And she never realized how large hands like his could be so gentle.
Raven decided to break the silence. "Rena? What was-"
"D-Did they just…?"
"Shut up, you idiot!"
"I advise you both remain silent."
Three whispers floated from a nearby bush. Now the smiles the two wore went from serene to jaded.
Rena gave an annoyed huff and then gave Raven a little wink. "Well, Raven, it was…" She glanced over to the offending brush to make sure that their eavesdroppers would hear what came next. "A mating ceremony. Our most cherished ritual."
It took every bit of fortitude Raven had to not sputter, but he could not stop his cheeks from turning red. He knew she was joking, but did she have to say that!?
Fortunately, the impromptu prank seemed to have served its purpose, as the whispers began to grow louder.
"OhmyElohmyElohmyElohmyEl-"
"Aisha, snap out of it! Rena's gonna hear you!"
"Elsword, I recommend you bring your voice down a few hundred decibels."
"Then why are you getting louder, too!?"
"OhmyElohmyElohmyElohmyEl-"
Now, they released each other's hands and looked to the now shaking bush. Raven crossed his arms with a half-smirk on his face while Rena looked on with both hands on her hips.
"I believe our attempt to gather intelligence on interracial relationships has been foiled. They are looking at us."
"Oh shit! Rena's gonna kill us, we gotta run! Come on, Aisha!"
"OhmyElohmyElohmyElohmyEl-"
"It seems Aisha is in no condition to even respond. I suggest we leave her behind. She could buy us time to escape."
"No! I won't leave anyone behind!"
Rena leaned over to whisper in Raven's ear. "Should I tell them it was just an elven promise of friendship?"
Raven's mouth formed into a half-scowl. "You know, it wouldn't have hurt for you to tell me that first… But give it a day. I'll teach our young knight a lesson in our next spar. I'll leave the other two to you."
Rena now took her hands off her hips to crack her knuckles. "Why thank you, Raven. I'll be sure to teach these children that it is rude to eavesdrop." Her voice started to growl like an angry animal.
"Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger."
"Eve, shut up! I know! Just help me with Aisha!"
"OhmyElohmyElohmyElohmyEl-"
Rena took a step towards the bush, Raven a pace just her stretching his claw menacingly. "So, who wants to die first?" the elf asked threateningly. At this, Elsword and Eve popped up from the bush with Oberon right behind them holding up a limp Aisha.
"Elsword volunteers." Eve pointed to the Lord Knight. Was she… sweating?
"No, I don't!" Elsword threw up his hands as he started backpedaling away.
"OhmyElohmyElohmyElohmyEl-" Aisha's mind was broken, capable of only a single phrase.
"Forget what she asked…" Raven growled.
"You're all dead!" Rena finished.
The screams nearly sent the town into a panic, but when they noticed that it was just their new guests, they paid them no more mind.
All was normal again.
All was happy again.
Finally done! The translation for the elven promise of friendship translates to:
"I, your friend vow to never leave you in the dark. I vow to be there to celebrate your triumphs. I vow to be there to grieve your defeats. But above all I vow to always be, to the end of eternity, your friend."
Now this isn't a perfect translation. It's just the romanji that pops out of Google Translate when the end language is set to Korean. Now with this out of the way, Boundaries is up next! Please Read and Review!
And as always, until next time!