This is bareeeeely based on the storyline. I just love Allison and I love the idea of her being bisexual. It would be hot. Also, my OC might be G!P aka intersex. You'll have to tune in and see for yourself. She's 18 btw. So here's the beginning of the end. Enjoy;)

-o0o-

I walked down the hall casually, not paying attention to the people around me. This wasn't unusual at all considering how deep in my head I am. I only started school about a month ago and I already regret moving here for my senior year. The kids are too friendly and the teachers are too nosy. I much prefer being alone.

Which is why I hadn't bothered to make any true friends. I mean I have the type of friends you sit at lunch with. The type that gossip about sexual conquests and offer you drugs. Most of them think we're besties but they've never been to my house. They're only useful for school and when my sister's had enough of me.

No one that I've meet has been preferable over my soltitude though. I have secrets that I don't need anyone prying into. It's already hard enough to keep the biggest one to myself. The reason why I even had to move here.

In deep thought, I accidentally run into someone. I think about walking away but I decide not to. I've got a bad reputation already somehow and I should start to improve it. People think I'm some sort of outlaw runaway because I dress grungy and have tattoos. Stereotypes, sigh.

As I turn around to apologize, I see the girl from English class. The one with the nice hair and the perfect teeth. Allison Argent, I think it was. She looks at me in surprise before blushing a little. My head tilts slightly at the display. I'm much too observant sometimes.

"Sorry about that. Wasn't watching where I was going," I said, trying to muster some sort of sincerity in my voice. When there is none, I curse my depression internally. The girl looks a bit intimidated by my lack of outward emotion. No doubt she's heard the rumors about the guy who stepped on my shoe the other day. A bad day for that guy.

"It's all right. You're the new girl, Ivy Winters right? I hope you're enjoying your last year." Her voice is nice to listen to. It's sweet and kind unlike my own. I always sound like I'm seconds away from murder. I look into her eyes and suddenly everything is in slow motion as she smiles at me. Butterflies. Monstrous in size.

My heart beats fast in my chest and I'm suddenly too hot. My tongue doesn't want to cooperate but I succeed somehow. "Yeah, that's me. I'm sorry but I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Allison."

I turn around and walk away briskly, pushing people out of my way. I can faintly hear her call my name but I don't turn around. My heart is still pumping hard in my chest and I crave more than anything to turn around. I want to see her again and trace my eyes over her pale skin. I curse these horrible chemicals within my brain.

I pray for a cure, to a god I don't believe in.

-o0o-

I tried my best to not look for her in crowds as the weeks bore on. I tried not to think about her. I tried not to notice her but I did. This evil crush in my head always found her in the seas of people and I sneered every time I saw her with that boy. The one with the crooked jaw and dopey stare.

Before this bullshit I was happy with being alone. I didn't expect anything from anyone and I was happy that no one expected anything from me. Now I notice how alone I am at a table full of people just like me. Broken and masked behind tattoos and loud cursing. Now I see her friends surrounding her with laughter and my heart aches in my chest. I wish I had real friends like that.

Every day I thought about Allison. I didn't even know her middle name. I didn't know her parents. I didn't know anything except that I wanted her. From that the moment our eyes connected I saw something inside her that could heal me. That's the secret of limerence. It turns you into a mindless fool. It sees the impossible and becomes addicted to it. Even if you know it will never be.

She is not the first to cause this but I hope she'll be the last.

So when the English teacher paired us for a project, I seethed outwardly but inside I rejoiced. I looked across the room at her and she smiled at me like the good person she is. I tried to smile back but now I could only grimace. A warzone was happening inside my mind and I had no control over my body when it came to her.

I vowed to take back my control and not let her see the monster inside me.

-o0o-

I waited in the parking lot for Allison. She'd passed a note in class that told me to wait for her at her car. I had tried to ignore the way my heart dropped to my stomach. I felt like a pussy, getting all jittery over a crush. My so called friends would never let me live it down if they knew.

Now I look into her car window, fixing my black hair into a messy bun. I curse myself for wearing revealing clothing. I decided on a leather jacket, ripped jeans, and a crop top today. Fuck me for having good style. I look hot and that is not what need right now. I need to be repulsive so she'll stay away.

Now I have to be alone with her and my stomach is exposed. Hopefully she won't see these annoying butterflies knocking around inside me, fighting to be released. But if she does then she will run as far away as she can manage. I smirk at my self deprecating thoughts.

I'm leaning against her car in deep thought when she walks out with her boyfriend. He seems to be ridiculously annoyed about something but I don't care. He whines about something I don't hear and she rolls her eyes. Hot, I muse. Suddenly, my eyes drop to her hand. The one that holds onto his like it's meant to be there. My stomach rolls in disgust.

"Scott, I have to get this done tonight. We can talk about it later," she said, trying to be quiet and failing. I looked on boldly as his eyes flicked to me, arms crossed over my chest. They held suspicion clearly. He had no right to be. I'm not planning on making any moves on her.

"Okay but we're having a pack meeting tomorrow night and you have to be there," he said, failing to whisper also. I used my well practiced apathy to pretend I did not hear him. Pack meeting? What are they? Dogs?

He looks like one. "Be safe, babe. I'll come and see you when you're done."

I scowl at the ground.

Allison watched as he walks away, something dark passes over her face. I can't decipher what it is before it disappears and she's walking toward me. My lips threaten to stretch into a smile but I stop myself before they do.

"I'm surprised you agreed to meet me. From what I've heard, you're the rebel of the school," Allison said, smirking. My heart pounded even harder and I fought to regain control. This would be harder than I thought.

"Yeah, well. I need to get my grade up in English anyway," I shrugged. Allison looked at me with wise eyes and nodded slowly. I ignored it and moved around to the passenger side to get in.

She hops in and cranks up the car without hesitation. Her lips twitch at the corners and I look forward to keep from noticing so much of her. Every little thing screams to be noticed.

"With the way you write in class, one might think that you're passing with flying colors," she said, flicking her eyes over to me. Silently, I wonder when and why she had been watching me in class. It was rare that my eyes weren't on her.

I rubbed my hands on my thighs as she drove. She is right. English is my favorite class but I can't let her see that I wanted to be around her. I shouldn't have agreed to this. It will only cause trouble in the long run. I've put myself in risk of so many things.

I remain silent.

-o0o-

When we walked into her house, I don't know what I expected to see. I mean, from the outside I could tell that her family wasn't hurting for money. I just wanted to see what her parents looked like. Just to fathom someone like her coming into existence. I'm so corny.

No one was home, to my dismay. Being alone with her in an empty house is not what I need right now. "My room is up here, follow me."

I tried not to look at her ass as we ascended the stairs and I succeeded for the most part. The crush seemed mainly about her beauty and personality. Not wholly sexual and for that I rejoiced. Being alone in her room would be that much easier. Hopefully.

She ushered me into her room and shut the door quickly. She threw her backpack on the bed and flittered around the room picking up items for our poster project. I couldn't remember what our topic was on. She looked over at me and raised a brow.

"You can get comfortable, Ivy. We're gonna be here for a while. The topic is pretty challenging," she said kindly. I nodded and moved over to her bed. It looked comfortable. I silently seethed when I thought about Scott being in it with her.

I sat down on it cross legged and took off my own leather bag. I retrieved my pen and notebook as Allison came to sit in front of me with her huge supply of shit. She sat the poster board beside us and looked at me oddly.

"I said get comfortable. Why do you still have on that jacket? It's pretty warm in here." Her voice was concerned. I then noticed that hers was off and I felt incredibly self conscious. If I took it off she would undoubtedly see my scars. The ones that my tattoos didn't cover. I felt ashamed of myself.

I saw the suspicious glint in her eyes and became curious. Did she know? I sighed and began to take it off reluctantly. "Okay, mom. Do I get a cookie for this?"

She laughed at me and ran a hand through her long hair. The butterflies went insane. "No, but you do get to remain sweat free now. Now, where do we begin? Mrs, Johnson said that we have to do a poster on poetry. We make one of our own and choose our favorite well known poet-"

I listened to her go on her rant about our project with a faint smile. The way she moved her hands when she spoke was endlessly engaging to me. She had a habit of touching her hair too which I could relate to. It has a tie to insecurity. This I know firsthand. I wonder what she could be insecure about?

"-that's my idea. What about you? Do you know anything about poetry," she asked suddenly. I blinked heavily and nodded a bit too fast. I had become completely too enraptured by her voice.

"I write poetry all the time. It's actually the only productive habit that I have. Besides writing stories," I said, looking down at my hand. So scarred but still good for something. I felt horrible immediately for giving her details about myself. She doesn't need to know me.

Allison grabbed my wrist suddenly and turned it up. I tried to pull away but her grasp was tighter than I thought. She gasped as she saw the perfect, pale lines on my forearm contrasting against my caramel skin. Her fingers traced them and I shuddered with chills. I cursed myself for coming here even more.

"Why did you do this to yourself," she asked quietly. Her eyes spoke of horror and concern. So much so that I had to look away. We hadn't even gotten to the project before we got sidetracked. I realize that I can't leave now. Fuck.

"There's something called depression, Allison. The best of people go through it and I'm not particularly special. It's just a consequence of my upbringing," I said, trying to ignore her fingers on my skin. I felt like she was touching raw nerves. Those soft eyes watched me with sympathy. "The greatest poets were either depressed or in love if that helps."

I try to smile at her but she looks unamused. She let go of me and stared into my eyes. I felt like withering away. The vehemence in them skinned me raw. "I'm here for you if you need anyone, Ivy. You can talk to me about anything at all. I promise that I'll keep your secrets."

Promises. I came to loathe them a long time ago. They beg to be broken. I nod anyway despite knowing otherwise. If things go my way, I'll never talk to her again after I go home. I'll be able to pine from afar until this idiotic crush goes away and I'm normal again. As normal as I can be. For some reason though, I want her to know me.

"Okay."

And so it begins.

-o0o-

Fin

Disclaimer: I have actually suffered from limerence. Which is basically being addicted to a person. People call the intrusive thoughts that you get as a symptom "The Limer Beast". So that's why I depict it as a monster. It's happened to me over eight times in nineteen years. It's triggered by anxiety and depression. Usually preceded by childhood abuse and/or abandonment. It ain't something you want to feel. Trust me. I just want people to know about this disease or addiction and know it's real. That's it's a crush multiplied by 100.