"So you're being haunted." Stephen Strange was on the other side of the phone. Rhodes had first met the guy when he removed the shrapnel from Tony's heart but they had travelled in similar circles for years. He had been a bit of a prick, full of well-earned self confidence in himself and his skills.
Stephen Strange had been an amazing surgeon, until he had a car accident and with the lost of his ability disappeared off the grid.
"Yes." When Strange had returned on the scene he was apparently a full-fledged magician or something. He would have dismissed the claims as a mad-man in shock at the lost of his hands. But after Norse Gods and Wanda Maximoff the witch, he was willing to be a bit more open-minded to a magic user.
Rhodes honestly did not know what Strange was supposed to be able to do, however Strange had offered a point of contact following Tony's death, the world needing more help than ever apparently without Tony there. Rhodes agreed with that, without Tony he could not see the world surviving another full-blown disaster with just fugitives with little resources (if Hawkeye was anything to go by) and Vision. War Machine would be no help, not for a long time, not with his legs. If ever again.
"And you called me because?" Strange just had this tone of voice which annoyed him as if he was placating him or trying so hard not to sound as bored as he clearly was. If he admitted to himself, part of the reason it riled him up was because it was so familiar. It reminded him of Tony. He tried to move pass the sharp jab of pain at the thought and think back to the task at hand.
What was Strange calling himself again? It was some pompous sounding thing. Doctor Superior, no it had alliteration. Marvellous Mage? "Sorcerer Supreme."
"Ah, that small thing. If I had known exorcisms were a part of the deal... very well. I expect at least some flowers for my trouble." Strange sounded the definition of nonchalant, Rhodes was torn between liking the guy and disliking him because of the reminders of what was lost. It was not fair to dislike someone just because they reminded you of someone you had loved.
"How soon could you get here?"
"How soon is this?" Rhodes only just bit back a shriek, of all the things he had not expected a portal to open up beside him and for Strange's head to peer out of it. Clearly Strange did have some proficiency in magic and it was not all talk, well at least he had not made a wasted phone call.
"Oh, I see your ghost problem. Remarkable really, I have not seen anything quite like it. Astral projection, people stuck out of their bodies, the main thing that connects them is the fact the bodies are alive, but an actual bona fide ghost." Strange smiled looking almost fond. "Tony Stark, always having to be the first."
Stephen Strange. The first thing Tony noticed was the beard. At last he had someone who shared awesome facial hair. Aside from the fact he was a ghost and he did not know what he actually looked like aside from what he could see, reflections was a thing of the past and so potential could be his beard.
The second thing was that normal transportation was apparently not good enough for Strange anymore, but hey if you could use fancy glowing portals then you may as well use them. Even if Strange was apparently now blasphemous by having denounced science and claimed magic as his calling. Tony felt personally offended at the thought, even if he now was not exactly science's greatest friend considering his state of person.
The third thing was the fact he was looking straight at him as if he could see him. But that was too good to be true.
He pulled a face and stuck out his tongue at Strange, who wrinkled his nose. "Mature."
"Fucking shit on a blanket."
"I'd prefer not to." Apparently as well as seeing him, Strange could hear him too.
"Okay, very important question, does my beard look okay."
"As brilliant as my own." Strange did not even have to consider it for even a moment, that's how Tony knew that his beard was still magnificent. Although he had his first so Strange copied him on that front therefore his was more brilliant.
"I can die happily now, wait, already dead."
"You're surprisingly nonchalant about this."
"No changing it so going to have to liv-deal with it. Besides I don't sleep so the only thing that is haunting around here is me. I also do not really have a body so no adrenalin, no heart pounding. I'm literally detatched." Strange looked at Tony speculatively.
"So I'm assuming there is a ghost, who happens to be Tony and you're having a conversation. But I could be wrong and you could just be talking to the voices in your head, in which case could you refrain from doing so? I had had enough of crazy magic people. I would just like a sane one for once so even if you have to be a little outlandish, hold back on the crazy." Ah yes, Tony had forgotten for a moment Rhodey could not hear or see him as caught up as he had been in the fact someone finally could interact with him.
"Ah. That explains several things." Explained what exactly, what did the great Sherlock of Hogwarts deduce?
So now he had to pick out a really nice bouquet of flowers for Strange, which he resented.
That was not what he really resented though, what he resented was the fact apparently wizardry had all the answers. Using super special magic techniques he could appear visible to the living when he wished, something to do with astral projection and the likes.
He resented that the 'mystical arts' had answers when engineering and science, logic, did not. But overall it was great interacting with the world again, even if his pride was wounded how relatively simple it was to do so and he had not figured it out.
Back to the flowers though. Irises were supposed to mean compliments, wisdom or friendship so he supposed he could send Strange a bouquet of those. He would probably appreciate the wisdom element. Of course it had to be the best money could buy... maybe he'll just get the guy some plant-pots instead of a bouquet as it'll last longer.
Orchids were nice too.
Screw it. He'd just buy Strange a nursery worth of potted plants just so he would have no room to say he did not get anything, and FRIDAY could agree that he asked for flowers.
"Wong." The aforementioned man looked up from his desk.
"Stephen."
"My room."
"What about it?"
"It looks as if someone opened a portal to a jungle in there. Flowers, everywhere." Wong just looked at him unyieldingly.
"The question is who got them there." Stephen continued when Wong offered him no answer.
"Was there not a note from who had done it?" So calm and collected. Stephen's jaw jerked slightly in mild annoyance, in a moment of self-reflection he had to wonder whether he could be this annoying. He dismissed it.
"The culprit is obvious. I want to know how." Stephen held the tip of nose.
"You stole my tea; I lend assistance to a fallen hero who has saved New York sanctum on a previous occasion, no matter how unknowingly."
It was amazing how healing it could be to have your friend back, even if it was as a ghost. Which was weird, but still not as weird as the fact he had been haunting him for a while and had watched him sleep for hours on end like a creep.
Upon learning of Tony's new ghostly form, Pepper gave him a stack full of paperwork to fill out as payback for dying on her and leaving her with the mess. Then her stoic façade broke a little and she tried hitting him as she yelled at him for leaving them. Rhodes could not blame her for being angry at Tony for dying as he had done the same no matter how unfair it was. But he came back which was far more than most people ever got. The look Tony gave them told them that he understood and did not blame them either. It did not mean they did not feel guilt in blaming him for his death though.
Rhodes, Pepper, FRIDAY and the bots were the only ones aware of Tony's new existence as a ghost. Well aside from Strange, which speak of the devil.
"Stark." Strange exited a portal sending Tony a most unamused look. It was kind of disconcerting how easily all security was bypassed but Rhodes was honestly just impressed Tony was still doing shit to annoy people when he lacked an actual body.
"Dumbledear, how kind of you to drop by. Although you should really learn to knock, you don't want to walk into anything salacious." Tony replied with an easy grin, one which spoke that he knew exactly what he had done but was going to feign otherwise. Rhodes barely held back a snort, by the look on Strange's face he had failed.
"I don't appreciate what you have done to my room."
"You asked for flowers, Gandalf."
"Not for a garden centre, Caspar." Rhodes just watched with a sense of impending doom as he realised that there was now two of them.
Tony told Rhodey that he was going on a business trip; Rhodey and Pepper were overall much better now they knew although dead he was not gone. It was nice to see them less grief-stricken, however in the back of his mind he only wondered if it was really for the best and whether he was just forcing them to put up with him. Whether he should allow them to move on by leaving.
But he was selfish. That was probably why he was back in Wakanda.
Turns out there was some truth behind vengeful ghosts, as ever since becoming one he had never felt so bitter. When you did not have to eat, sleep or have much responsibilities you could really mull over things. He decided to get his petty revenge, because he knew that was what it was but to be honest this was nothing. Most revenge attempts on him involved attempted murder until someone had to succeed.
Thinking about it now, most revenge attempts against him were unnecessarily drastic and rather uncalled for.
Killian, he blew off loads of people who approached him whilst he was drunk at a party, hundreds even and they did not try to kill him. Talk about overreaction. Killian could have always gone through the proper means of securing an interview if he really wanted to have a meeting with him.
Vanko, a grudge that Vanko's father had on his father because of some stolen something or other was not really a good reason to kill him. Hank Pym may have a grudge against Howard Stark aside from casting Tony with the same brush as Stark scum, it was not ideal but hey he had not really attempted to kill him or anything.
Wanda, yes it was traumatic and he felt bad about it, he had not fired the bomb nor had he even sold it. When he had thought that a lamp post had killed his parents, yes he had knocked it down and then melted it, but he had not gone after the company CEO who had allowed the lamp post to be put into production in the first place. He sure as hell did not join a terrorist organisation of his own free will to be experimented upon. Who knows what else she did to get into HYDRA, they weren't the nicest of groups and that was an understatement. He knew what it was like to see a Stark bomb fall into his lap. He also knew if it did not explode it was not meant to be there.
He should cut her some slack but he was dead. If he was not allowed to let out frustrations when he was dead when could he?
And that was why he was going to be an asshole. He decided to start slow and mess with the whole of Crap-ton America's team before going for individuals.
It was simple, all he had to do was play some music.
'Now the time is here
For Iron Man to spread fear
Vengeance from the grave
Kills the people he once saved'
Tony hummed along enjoying their reactions. The spooked looks and the way their faces paled at the sudden lyrics was something of beauty. "Turn it off." Steve demanded, ever the authoritative one, looked at the offending radio on the table which had 'mysteriously' turned on. How spooky, Tony wondered how it could have happened.
'Nobody wants him
They just turn their heads
Nobody helps him
Now he has his revenge'
"I said turn it off." Scott Lang obeyed looking at the strained look on Steven Roger's face with something that looked akin to apprehension. Tony felt surer than ever that this Ant fellow had bitten off more than he could chew when he signed up for this, he even seemed an alright guy. He would almost feel pity for him as he just did not seem to understand thinking ahead and just acted.
However he was dangerous with his short sightedness and that suit of his, treating the fight at Leipzig like a playground, tearing out random wires of the Iron-Man suit. It was a miracle Lang had not killed anyone with his actions. The whole of this team seemed to have a problem with consequences; they seemed to think they did not exist or rather than they did not apply to them considering how dismissive they were of them. Had he sheltered them too much by taking the brunt of the blame and cleaning up their messes?
Well look at him now, was that a big enough consequence for them? Look at Rhodey. Look at the MIT graduation class of twenty-sixteen. He wanted to applaud them with all the sarcasm he could muster.
"How did it even turn on?" He returned to Wakanda several times, he took his bitter and petty enjoyment in blasting AC-DC at them during random intervals although it did not always make him feel better.
For Wanda and Scott however he had special punishments. Lang did not really understand the significance behind AC-DC so he had to make do with early Bieber. Wanda just did not care however for some reason really despised Rebecca Black's 'Friday' (she liked early Bieber), so it just seemed to always play around her somehow. In the end he stopped as he did not really want to hurt them, it was funny the first few times but despite everything seeing their upset faces still pained him. Although he may have continued with Wanda and Lang's, in the end he stopped as she kept blasting the music players after a while which whilst amusing it seemed like a waste. Also Lang may have ended up humming 'Friday' once and nearly got attacked. At least he smuggled out the footage from the security cameras to rewatch it.
Clint. What to do with him?
He was rather surprised that no-one had attempted a rescue mission yet. Not that it would do any good considering they would not know where to look for him. The Raft was out of the question seeing as how good it had gone last time, Hammer may still be at large but now Tony was supposed to be out of the way he seemed content to stay low. Other people who were at the Raft who could escape were more blood-thirsty than Hammer.
He had claimed responsibility for Clint; or rather Pepper did so for him. He did not know why he did so, perhaps out of nostalgia or misplaced feeling that he was part of his team, but it did not change the fact that he did. Those who had been considering what to do with Clint seemed almost relieved at having him off their hands and the thought that he would be confined in a state of the art facility under the guard of an Iron Man suit. Although they did not like the fact Stark Industries was still holding onto the suit even now Stark was dead.
Clint looked willing to fight when he was transferred to his new containment, always so willing to fight. Until he saw the Iron Man suit (being remotely controlled by FRIDAY) and for a moment there was relief and hope until he slumped realising it was empty. Clint just looked so lost and broken as he was lead to what was a quarters meant for him in the tower.
He was warned that if he attempted to do anything such as break out he would be responded to with non-lethal but probably painful force and any luxuries will be removed. If he injured anyone in an attempted escape they may be permitted to respond with lethal force, an unwanted but a potentially necessary precaution, as Captain America's team had already proved themselves to be willing to use lethal force themselves.
He was reminded of the Raft which made him flinch. Whether it was because the Raft was a terrible living arrangement or whether it reminded him of who they had released and the results of their actions, Tony could not be sure.
Clint just seemed to ghost around the quarters and stare blankly, and when he wasn't he was angry. Angry at himself, angry at his team, angry at Hammer and angry at his arrangements. Tony could just not bring himself to involve Clint in his petty revenge not when Clint acted so pathetic, it was like kicking an orphaned two-legged puppy.
Instead he offered him the chance of communicating with his family, via video links or voice. That proved to be more punishment than any of his pranks could have been. His children aside from the youngest did not really want much to do with him at first as he had abandoned them, again, to become a criminal they saw on television. To see fighting against service men as he attempted to avoid capture. The taunts they had received from classmates at how their Daddy was a villain had tainted their vision of him. Tony made arrangements to move the Barton family as if the other school children could recognise Clint Barton as their father then other people could do so as well.
Wasn't death supposed to be peaceful? Who ever made that up obviously had not lived as a ghost dealing with people who did not stop to think.
He still did not know what to do with Clint.
He was onto individuals now.
He was starting with Wanda, he had never really welcomed her with open arms like the others had, probably due to her almost obsessive hatred of him. He had never really liked her but had not hated her; he did not have the time to put effort in hating her when he really had more important things to do.
He still did not hate her, but she had sent Vision through far too many floors for him not to mess with her. Besides it would probably be for her good as she could not grow unless she let go of the rage that consumed her, oh who was he kidding, he was doing this for himself just because he could.
He watched her for a while, she seemed to almost realise he was there as her wispy red magic seemed to recoil away from him which was interesting. She talked to her brother at times which made him figure out his plan. He showed himself to her.
"You. I must be dreaming." She stated, alone in her room which was showing looped footage as he was not quite sure whether cameras picked him up when he was visible.
"Dream of me often, my little witch?" He sent a smirk her way and watched as her fists curled up glowing red.
"Of your death, it brings the sweetest night's sleep. At last my dream has come true." Well that was not concerning at all, the twisted little smile on her face at her statement made it all a little disturbing. They had let her on their super squad? How and why?
"Calm down crazy." Tony replied ignoring the red she sent at him seeing as it just rebounded and she hissed out.
"You killed my parents!" Well, that was wrong for one. It was sad but he had no part in it, if his company had sold flowers the bomb would have just had a different name on it. Now if it was Hammer's then Wanda would not even be here as the fact it did not blow just showed it was not supposed to be there and that he actually knew how to make a bomb that would not detonate until supposed to. Now... the Winter Solider really did kill his parents, perhaps James Barnes did not but the Winter Solider did. He chewed on his lip, it was best not to think about such things as the lights flickered somewhat.
"It is part of the reason I stopped the weapons business as it's tiring sending every bomb individually and plotting where I wanted them." He responded with sarcasm. "So you admit it!" Did she not understand sarcasm? But he had planned for this.
"Slow down, hear me out here. I wasn't aiming for them I was aiming for you and your brother." That shocked her out of her rage and she gawped at him in an amazing impression of a gold-fish.
"What. What have we ever done to you?" Her voice sounded a lot smaller now.
"For first things it was a Tuesday, Tuesday is revenge night. Secondly it's what your mother done."
"Which was?" She was a lot more willing to listen when he claimed to be as evil as she said he was. What did that say about her?
"Aside from wasting my oxygen and existing? Your mother had the gall to get my order wrong. I asked for no pickle and she. Gave. Me. extra. She deserved to die. But I'm a kind man and was only going to kill her children in front of her instead to teach her a lesson but I missed and killed her instead. I was going to kill you and your brother too afterwards but I was bored as I figured my revenge was complete and nothing cures boredom like traumatized orphaned children. Although you're not really an orphan as I only killed one parent." You know, he should not really be using her trauma in his petty revenge and claiming to be behind her parents' death for the most ridiculous and unnecessarily evil reasons he could think of. For a while he did blame himself, she used her parents as an excuse herself against him enough to get the stupidest of things. He was only treating them with the same respect she showed them.
"I thought both my parents died that night." She was accepting what he was saying despite the hammy way he was saying it. His acting was not that good. Was she that desperate in her belief that he was behind all her troubles? That was probably why he went that extra step.
"Oh Wanda. I don't think I accidentally missed you and your brother as how could I kill my own flesh and blood?" The horror on her face told him that she actually believed him which was beyond ridiculous.
"No. That's not true."
"Oh yeah, I totally porked your mom. I thought we had something special seeing as she was the mother of my children but she had to put pickle in. I thought she knew me better than that but obviously she only paid attention to a certain part of me. I had to kill her you see."
"No. Nooo." It almost seemed like she had taken tips from Luke Skywalker in terms of reacting to paternity news.
"When you were twelve I was the one who ran over your dog."
"Y-You monster." Oh god, she would believe anything if it supported her belief that he was darkness incarnate.
"Call me Daddy." She looked ready to vomit. He would have stopped but he wanted to see how far he could take this. He was beginning to understand why super villains liked to monologue so much.
"You want to know a secret, daughter? 'Merchant of Death' wasn't my nickname it was my title. I was imprisoned in a mortal body as punishment for unspeakable deeds. I had to be killed by an outside source to regain my true evil power so I could not just off myself, did not mean I could not do evil in my mortal form just not so much as I cannot have fun in prison. But now I am free of my mortal body - I have transcended death."
"No."
"Yes. I shall wreak havoc upon the world, upon Sokovia, a plague of death that had been held back by the mortal body that bound me, shall at last be released. Thank you by the way, couldn't have done it without you. Peace out."
She was still screaming when he decided to return to Rhodey.
"Mr. Gandalf the Cape." Strange closed his eyes briefly, Stark knew he did not like to be referred to as mister. That was probably why he deliberately used it.
"Doctor." Stephen responded it was habit by now to correct people.
"Doctor Gandalf the Cape. Do you know how to melt stuff with your hocus pocus? Because I need to know how to do so, for reasons." A single raised eyebrow was all Stephen decided to grace Stark for an answer.
"Or you could do it, unless you can't." Did Stark really expect him to fall for his reverse psychology. To do him a favour after he completely filled his room with plants (which proved to be surprisingly helpful in the end though he would hate to inform Stark of this) and called him mister.
"You totally don't know how. Supreme Mugwump and you don't even know how to melt things." Admittedly he did not, they normally worked in other ways as opposed to straight up melting items, he had not been Sorcerer Supreme for that long either. He practically was thrust into it out of necessity.
"Give me a couple of hours." He relented partly as it was a challenge, and he wanted to see what Tony would do with the knowledge of how to melt things.
"Why thank you, Dr. Strange." Tony gave an overdramatic bow.
"You're welcome Dr. Stark." Stephen did not even hold back his small grin before he cursed inwardly. Tony Stark had grown on him.
"My shield."
There it was in all its glory, he did not know how it had gotten there. He assumed it was sent to him as a gesture of good will as he was a hero and they needed him. The death of Tony was unfortunate, unforeseen but if the shield was a sign. It was probably better for them that Tony was dead.
It sounded terrible as Tony had been his friend and he had felt terrible at his death. He had let Justin Hammer slip through his fingers after all. However Tony's pettiness must have been the reason why they weren't welcomed back, holding back the chance to get home.
Tony tried to be a hero, but he had been holding them – the real heroes – back. Trying to implicate restrictions on who to save, stopping them from returning home as he could not accept that he had been wrong, locking Wanda in her room. Stark had been good... but misguided and unable to follow Steve's instructions like he was supposed to.
Then the shield combusted in front of his eyes. Freak accident? Or a sign that maybe, just maybe, they did not want them back. He dismissed the second although he had to wonder how it managed to set alight. The shield would be fine though considering it was vibranium. Or not.
He attempted to save it but he could not as it was far too hot. Even super solider serums could not handle the heat so he chose his hands over the shield.
He watched it melt, the shield that represented him as a hero. A symbol of his greatness. Who was Captain America without his shield? Did he have to lose everything? First he lost Bucky again to cyrosleep after only just getting him back, although Tony had tried sabotaging his efforts into getting Bucky. He had lost Peggy, their home of the compound, he had lost Clint and he had lost his benefactor and last link to Howard in Tony. Lastly he had lost Wanda to madness as she began claiming Stark was her father and the waves of red magic had gotten too much. T'Challa had a special room prepared for her so she could not hurt herself or anyone else.
Watching the molten vibranium slowly cool, no longer recognisable as his shield he could had almost sworn he heard manic cackling but he dismissed it after seeing no-one. The new shape of his shield was not even round anymore, the only thing that hinted it as having once been his shield was the fact that it was vibranium.
Scott was easy, Wanda's trip into madness was Lang's breaking point. He wanted out of Wakanda, out of Team Crap. All he had to do was whisper 'Go back to Pym' and Scott was on the way back, catching his way back shrunken on a jet plane to New York. Hope Van Dyne and Hank Pym were plenty enough punishment for him, as weren't happy with him.