Chapter 10
"Babe we need to talk," Ranger said as the crowd dispersed.
"We are leaving for Newark in a couple of hours," she said.
He was going to suggest she come to Miami. "Perhaps I need to make an inspection of the Trenton office."
"Yes, you need to see the changes Tank and Lester have made," she said. "Perhaps we could have lunch," she said.
It wasn't what he had in mind but realized she was holding him back, arm's length. Does she hate me for abandoning her to Joe? "So you still live in your apartment?"
"No, I gave it up. I have an apartment on Haywood, 4th floor."
"I'm glad you moved, your apartment on St. James wasn't safe. I know it was your statement of independence, but it was dangerous," he said.
She didn't tell him it was now a vacant lot and probably more safe now than before.
"Would you mind if we at least talk on the phone before I can get up there?"
"Ranger, I'd like that."
"Babe, so much has changed for me and apparently for you. Before you leave may I give you a hug?"
She didn't answer, she just moved into his arms and rested her head on his chest. He smelled different, he has changed his body products, but he still feels the same.
But Ranger thought she felt different. Before she was feminine, her wild hair tickled his nose. Now she was solid, there were muscles where before it was minimal. Her short hair no longer smelled of strawberries but of the ocean and herbs. It wasn't quite a man's scent but it wasn't childish as before. She had changed, but one thing that had not, her eyes. Still the deep blue that so captivated him years ago in that small café.
"One small kiss please," he begged.
She was surprised, he never asked before, he took. Was this the same man?
She tipped her head and hesitantly accepted his kiss. At first it had all the makings of a chaste kiss, but it grew slowly in intensity. It was as if the two bodies were identifying the other after a long absence. There was no groping and only light tongue teasing, it was a sweet kiss with a hefty dose of "I'm interested" mixed in.
She backed off, "I've got to go. The others are waiting." She raised her hand and cupped his cheek, "I'm glad you survived."
As she left she thought of all the times he was the first to leave; leave an embrace, leave a night of passion, leave on a mission. Now she was the one who broke it up.
Times are a-changing.
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The night flight home did not take them over densely populated areas but rather the forests of Tennessee, Virginia and West Virginia. If she was sitting on the starboard side she might see the bright lights of Washinton DC to the east. She gazed out the window not really seeing the small concentrations of lights mixed among the forests below. The view was inside her head.
All Rangeman were flying first class or business class for the extra legroom, so this portion of the cabin was populated by athletic men and the female flight attendants were being very attentive to the beefy men, ignoring the lone woman. Mitch didn't mind. Tank sat beside her, lost in his own thoughts for over an hour but finally spoke, "Need I ask what you are thinking?"
She snorted, "You can probably guess."
"Now that you are strong and self-reliant you don't know if you want a relationship with him."
"Exactly."
"Your heart says yes, your mind isn't sure. "
"Pretty well nailed it, Yoda," Michelle shot back.
He chuckled, "I always thought myself closer to Obi Juan Kenobi."
She snorted, "No actually the first time I saw you I thought of Darth Vader."
"It must have been the uniform."
"It was the night you threw someone out the window in a redecorating job," she said remembering the ride to the apartment building with Tank, Lester and Bobby shoved into the back seat of the SUV. They made a frightening trio.
His mind scrolled back, "I got shot that night. Vest saved me."
"I nearly got blown up. It was a memorable introduction to Rangeman."
"The most important thing Michelle is you didn't run away. That was the first time Ranger and I knew under all that confusion and mess and confusion was a strong woman."
"Took years and hitting bottom to find her," Michelle sighed.
"Think of it more like a landslide resulting from an earthquake. Remember Mt. St. Helens erupted after an earthquake caused a landslide releasing all the pressure inside."
"And I spewed ash all over the Burg."
"Just like Mt. Vesuvius and Pompeii."
"And left a caldera. "
Tank looked over at her confused, but let her finish.
The plane passed over a cloud layer forcing her to look back into the cabin. "In the middle of the devastation, I've never stopped loving him."
"I know and watching you too together, even briefly in Atlanta, he feels the same. If it hadn't been for Julie, he might still be standing there in the woods. I've never seen Ric so emotional; surprised, confused, embarrassed, joyous, sad and probably a few more. For a man with a granite face, he let a lot out."
"Maybe he was mirroring my own expressions," she shrugged.
Tank was quiet for a while trying to decide what he could tell her now. "He was devastated he had to leave you."
"No, I left him."
"That's what he wanted you to believe. He found out about Guzman in early September. He had to force Joe to step up, so told him he was going to propose when he returned. Joe took the bluff," Tank explained.
"It was a bluff? He wasn't going to marry me?" she was trying not to react in Stephanie mode, indignant and mad. Mitch was holding tight.
"He wanted you safe."
"Yeah, that worked out well," she snorted.
"Mitch, he left expecting to die. I've never seen Ric more depressed. He knew he could be leading his men into death including me. If the Guzman eliminated the team I was next on the list, maybe you too. By being married to Joe, Guzman might have overlooked you. Times past Ric told me to take care of you, this time he knew I might not be able."
She reacted with surprise, "What do you mean, take care of me? Marry me?"
He shook his head, "Initially it was keep you safe, help you with your job. Later it became more, at least to me."
Oh no, was Tank in love with her? "What do you mean more?" she asked cautiously.
"We knew Joe would never cut it off with Terri Gilman plus his regular visits to women across the bridge. We couldn't step in," he explained. "You would have blamed us, cut us off and run. Maybe run to Joe but more likely away from Trenton."
She sat absorbing what he's said so far. "Tank, what would have happened if you were gone and I was stuck with Joe?"
Tank huffed up, "Recruit, you don't think about what might have been, but rather concentrate on the future. What Ifs and Would have beens were what got you into trouble, fantasies."
Was she falling back into Stephanie mode? Is that what seeing Ranger did to her?
Tank relaxed, "Hector would have made you a widow."
She turned and glared at Tank.
"Not my instructions, Hector's plan. He would have waited until months after the wedding so you inherit Joe's insurance, pension, and house. Better to lose him in service than him kicked off the force or sent to prison. Otherwise, if you had not married Morelli, Ranger's and my wills are written you would inherit a portion of Rangeman Trenton. You, Lester and Bobby would run Rangeman or you could sell your shares and move to the house in Maine."
"I don't want the money…wait, the Maine house?"
"Rangeman was his way of taking care of you, the house was mine. We couldn't foresee Christmas Day and the new Michelle."
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When the plane landed in Newark, the Trenton crew divided up into vehicles and drove to Rangeman arriving after 01:00. Most had early shifts so no celebrations, everyone went to bed. Michelle wanted to think about Ranger and what Tank said, but her body was exhausted. She slept only a few hours before awakening at 04:30, her usual time. It was now habit and part of the original Ranger Creed dating back to the 18th century: "Never let the dawn catch you sleeping. That's when the enemy attacks." When she entered the gym there were cheers from the guys already working out, "There she is our champ!" Each came up and congratulated her.
"Why didn't you take the day off?" Woody asked.
She was confused, "You guys covered for me. I'm not taking any more advantage of your generosity."
Chet laughed, "Lester is."
"Les worked hard, he won Mt. Manoso."
Chet turned serious, "Ah, did you, ah…see…."
"Did I see Ranger? Yes and we talked briefly."
"Did he make any comment about the new Michelle?"
"He was confused," she answered.
Bones cut in, "How did he look? He was badly injured."
Still she didn't know how badly he was injured, "He uses a cane."
"Wow! He was a paraplegic when he got back," Bones gasped.
"What?" She was confused. Bobby was down there a lot, back and forth.
"He didn't tell you?"
"Obviously not."
"Well, he is Ranger," Bones shrugged and went back to his weights.
She climbed onto the bike and started peddling entering her zone where she could think. What did Lester say? "Michelle, he was trying to survive. At night Ranger would call out for you but no, he never asked about you when he was awake. His rehab has been slow because of the ache in his heart. He didn't want to get better. Julie pulled him through."
She couldn't imagine Ranger as a paraplegic; he'd eat a bullet first. Julie must have convinced him to work hard, not give up. She needed her father.
She then thought of her talk with Tank, "I've never stopped loving him….I know and watching you two together, even briefly in Atlanta, he feels the same."
"Earth to Mitch, earth to Mitch," the voice called through the mental fog. She shook herself back to the here and now and found Bobby smirking at her. "Are you pedaling in the Tour du France today?"
"Huh?"
"You've been riding for 2 ½ hours. I'm surprised with the lack of sleep you've had, you can ride this far. When you get a break, we'll discuss what is consuming your mind. I know you have a thousand questions."
She nodded and leapt from her bike and hustled back to her apartment arriving at her desk exactly at 08:00, technically an hour late but she could make it up later. Balloons and flowers covered her desk and congratulatory cards. The guys probably waited around for her to deliver the gifts personally but she was late. She needed to get them something special.
Her mind immediately thought of Tasty Pastry for pastries, but she couldn't decide what, so she called the bakery and ordered 5 dozen pastry assortments, anything but cupcakes. The order name was Mitch at Rangeman. Grabbing Hector, "I need support; I'm going to Tasty Pastry. I don't want to fall off my sugar wagon."
He laughed and kissed her cheek, "Protegeré tu virtud."
"No," she laughed slugging him. "Not my virtue, tengo miedo de engordar."
"Angelita, you no get fat, Lester he run it off you," Lester smiled.
"Esa es la verdad," she winced. She was still tired and sore from the Rangemaninja competition and now the bicycle.
Maybe its Rangeman vibes but whenever the big black vehicles come into the Burg, they find close by parking. By some miracle Mitch had cash and wouldn't need to flash a Stephanie Plum card in the Burg. She angled out of the car and walked boldly into the pastry shop. Her hair recently cut, black uniform and ballistics vest and short lined jacket that accentuated her new broad shoulders, flat abs and tight ass that even Joyce Barnhardt would envy. The loose tech pants didn't show her strong legs but instead held the Kimber handgun strapped to her thigh. She still had female curves but now that were well defined. It was November but the sun was bright so she retained her aviator sunglasses and cap. She moved with authority, something new in her life. She needed all her reserve strength because when she walked in, Helen Mazur, formerly Plum, her mother, followed her and saying hello to Angie Morelli who was already in the store. Mitch ignored them and they said nothing to her. As Bridgette, the person behind the counter finished up with Angie, Mitch noticed Hector had moved into the shop.
"Next," Bridgette called.
Mitch ignored the chatter behind her and stepped up to the counter. Lowering her voice she said, "Rangeman."
Helen and Angie turned from talking with one another and looked at Michelle, then to the pastry clerk, "You allow thugs in here, Bridgette?" Helen hissed.
Bridgette rolled her eyes, "Helen Mazur, Rangeman is the premier security company here in Trenton. They are honorable men and women, quick to respond to trouble, courteous when they service the systems and always pay for their doughnuts, unlike many policemen. If you have a problem with Rangeman maybe you need to find a someplace else for your bread. You might try the day-old shop over on Remsen."
It must have been early in the day because Helen Mazur formerly Plum was sober enough to know she had been insulted the stormed out of the store with Mrs. Morelli. Mitch remained mute facing Bridgette. Upon receiving her change, Mitch said simply, "Thank you."
"You're welcome, Stephanie."
"No, I am no longer Stephanie. The name disgusts me as it was given to me by…that woman. I've had to remake my life after the emotional BS she and the Burg gossipers put me through."
Bridgette hung her head in shame, "I'm sorry for my part."
Michelle wanted to ream Bridgette too but instead calmly said, "Gossip is a horrible habit, almost a disease. It causes unbelievable pain to those who are its victims. It's a form of bullying; cutting others down to make you look larger."
"I know. It destroyed your parent's marriage."
She wasn't about to tell Bridgette about being the unwanted child. "Yes and look what it did to …..her.
Bridgette perked up a bit, "Glad to see you back in the store. You are always welcome, your mother isn't."
"You may lose significant business once the gossip starts up."
"I doubt it. Rangeman honor over Helen Mazur. As of right now, this is a gossip free zone. I'll make a sign for all to see. Already the younger clients eschew the older clients' blather. While you are here we have 12 loaves of whole wheat bread for Ella. Can you take them back? You'll save her a trip here."
Hector stepped up and took the box with the bread. Mitch handled the five doughnut boxes. "Thank you for supporting Rangeman, Bridgette."
"No, thank Rangeman for 84 loaves of bread a week," she laughed. "You treat us well and send such hulking men to work the security system. Like Señor Hector here. Must be difficult to work there," Bridgette smiled.
Stephanie/Michelle/Mitch lowered her sunglasses, smiled and winked, turned and walked out of the bakery.
Hector was chuckling when he started the SUV. "Hulking?"
"Pesado, what would you want her to say?
"Aterrador como el infierno."
She laughed, "Yes you are scary as hell too, mi hermano."
"You did well; you didn't rise to the bait."
"Hector, I don't think she knew me."
"She did, not a first. Before she entered the store she looked at the car and me before she went in. Madres know their children."
"You think she was baiting me?"
"Si."
"She can't hurt me."
He leaned over and kissed my cheek, "I'm sorry."
"You be sorry, mi hermano, I don't care anymore."
"Will you talk to her?"
"Why waste the oxygen? She won't change."
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By 12:00 Mitch had worked through most of the customer files she had set aside before going to Atlanta. She needed to run them by either Tank or Lester and the contract attorney before putting together a fancy presentation folder. Her body was failing from lack of sleep and she had monitor duty tonight. She signed out with a giant notation on the board, NAPPING! It was a subtle reminder not to contact her unless the building was under attack or a fellow Rangeman needed back up.
Rising at 17:00 she had two hours to shower, dress and eat before reporting back to the 5th floor. She glanced at her cell phone and noted several messages from Ranger. The first was a general, "Call me when you get a chance." The second was more concerned, "Mandatory 12 hours off. You shouldn't be working." That seemed a bit bossy. The third was made her smile, "I've called the 5th floor desk demanding they knock on your apartment to see if you are OK. They said they didn't want to be shot. Babe."
While showering and dressing she composed a message in her head and then while eating dinner she fired up her computer instead of sending a brief text, "Unlike Les who ran both challenge and Ninja and no doubt is exhausted, I'm working today to finish up several proposals. I've napped and now preparing to work monitors tonight. I never appreciated all the time you gave me. How did you justify my intrusions?"
That seemed a pretty neutral, vanilla response plus ignored his bossy second text.
Before heading back to her at O-Dark-Thirty hours after monitors, she noted a text from Ranger, "Babe, anything for you."
She responded simply, "Thank you."
She awoke at 04:30 out of habit. There was a message from Lester, "Stay in bed. Contracts won't be ready until 12:00. Your day begins at 13:00. You didn't save me a doughnut."
She didn't know if Ranger had called him or Tank from Miami wondering why she didn't get her 12 hour down time. At 10:00 she wandered into the empty gym. This wasn't fun, nobody….no body….to admire. Without someone to spot her on the weights she did what she could, ran 5 miles, worked the kettle bells, and was heading back to her apartment to dress for the day when she met Bobby.
"I'll be in your office at 13:00."
Michelle was already hard at work when Bobby knocked, "How do you feel?"
She wiggled a bit, "Better, yesterday I was dragging. I guess I needed more sleep."
"Next time, take the day off after and recharge. Your body needed time," he said in his best medic voice.
"Aye, aye sir."
He shook his head hoping she wasn't becoming smart-mouthed like Lester was. "We need to talk about what happened to Ranger."
She sat back, did she want to know? Heck yes! "I heard in the gym he was paralyzed."
"Yes he was. He fell and broke nearly every bone in his rock hard body; broken bones, massive contusions, though he was wearing a helmet, he had a concussion. Anybody else would have been dead. You can imagine his mental state. Good thing he was immobilized, otherwise he would have found a way to kill himself. Julie did an amazing job of keeping him mentally together."
"How long?"
"Most bones took 12 weeks, some a little longer. The paralysis lasted about eight weeks."
Mitch didn't put her head in her hands or weep, she just looked out her window. "Could I have helped?"
"No, you were barely together yourself. You were still warding off frostbite with Tank. If you remember when you returned to the Safe House I immediately left you in Bones' care. Imagine the mental and physical anguish he was in. If you had shown up as you were then, you would have gone back down into the hole and no telling where he would have gone. As it was, I was truly worried about his mental health. He'd call to you, talk to you at night."
"He called to me?"
"Only at night in his sleep or if he was drugged, never when he was conscious or awake"
"What did he say?"
"He was begging your forgiveness for hurting you. He couldn't risk you being injured."
"Injured, right, who ended up at St. Francis in a regular basis?"
"No Mitch, dead from Guzman."
"Tank said the same. Are there any more Guzmans?"
"Possibly, but Guzman carved a niche for himself by eliminating competition. Others are mostly gone, the few remaining we keep an eye on. Their problems are with the new mercenaries, the ones Ranger has been training. Ranger's mercenary days are over."
"He doesn't believe it."
"At best he could be a trainer, but he'll never go on another mission. There is enough metal in his body to keep grounded."
"He still uses a cane. He was very tentative on the trail coming back to base camp."
"He's still weak in one leg, but you know Ranger, he'll work five times harder to get the leg back."
"Will it come back totally?"
"I believe so. His upper body has returned, the legs will follow."
"What is his mental health?" she asked.
Bobby took a big breath and slowly let it out, "That's harder to fix. Not my expertise. Once he accepts his contract work is over, he'll have to adjust. He was dying internally until he met you. I didn't expect him to live much beyond thirty five before he self-destructed."
She stared at Bobby. Ranger commit suicide?
"He'll realize he can't go back to what was. If he had a reason to move on, his perseverance will pull him through. Seeing you strong will confuse him. In the past he was your mentor, your rescuer, now you are strong and smarter. He may feel he isn't needed any more."
Mitch was remembering their discussion near the latrines at base camp, "When I told him Stephanie was gone, I gave him the option of leaving. He said he was curious."
Bobby smiled a bit. "That is hopeful, very hopeful. But Mitch, is Stephanie really gone or just repressed?"
"Bobby, I don't know," she moaned.
"Don't let Tank hear you!" Bobby cautioned. "None of us want to see the old Stephanie again. Ranger wanted a strong Stephanie; one trained, who planned ahead and was flexible enough to adjust quickly to new situations. He wanted one who didn't listen to gossip or allow others to tell her how to lead her life and one who took better care of herself. His plan was to encourage you bit by bit, but the obstinate Stephanie wouldn't change. It took something drastic to break your hard shell."
She knew this but it was good to hear it again from someone other than Tank.
"Michelle, you've climbed onto a high plateau. You can go higher, hardening yourself to where you may not like what you become. You think Stephanie is gone, but we see her, the loving and playful Stephanie peeks out. The three of you: Stephanie, Michelle the modern woman and Mitch the Bitch are going to have to work together."
Sounds like a multiple personality disorder.
He laughed, "We all have multiple personalities. Look at me, the doctor, Dr. Robert Brown, Bobby Brown the former Army Ranger and now the civilian security expert, and Bobby the lover," he said with a smile. Then there is Lester; player, the man who wants to be a husband and father but afraid of commitment. That must run in his family. He is also Lester the Ranger, Lester the lousy accountant but great with client relations. Tank is another mix; the big scary guy who would rather growl than speak. Tank who feigns indifference but who deeply cares," Bobby listed.
Michelle had a few more Tank traits Bobby hadn't listed, Tank the artist, Tank the cook, and Tank the verbose philosopher.
Bobby continued, "We all balance our different sides. You have been concentrating on just one, Mitch the Bitch. Maybe it's time to let the softer, Michelle but also a bit of loving Stephanie back out."
She sat quiet for a while, "He wants to come up here."
"Excellent. He needs to see you and how you have changed and you need to see and talk to him. You two have a lot of history, but if you can push the bad away, I believe you are still compatible."
"Are we Bobby?"
"Oh hell yes, but we can't tell you, the two of you knuckleheads need to figure it out yourselves."
"Does he still have a job with Rangeman?"
"Sort of. From the beginning he set himself as Executive CEO fully expecting it to be and empty chair at some point. Each Rangeman office has its own staff: Marco, The Deacon, Patrick and Tank. If he wants he can start a new office, or just go off and do something else, it's his choice."
"So he won't come back here and run this office?"
Bobby shook his head, "I doubt it. Tank is doing an amazing job, but not to inflate your ego, a lot has to do with you."
"What? Me?"
"Michelle the business woman filled the deficiencies here, something by the way, desperately wanted you realize, but you were so damn…"
"Obstinate. I had to prove myself."
"Prove yourself and your mother, not us. Your people skills are far ahead of us lugs; we scare the poop out of prospective clients. I dare say in the not too distant future you could take over the business end of Rangeman."
"Bite your tongue! No way!"
"Not all of Rangeman of course. We still need security specialists and some hard nose boss to keep us in line. Not all the guys would respond to Mitch the Bitch unless you up your abilities on the mats. You are smart and capable and increasingly emotionally stable. What are your dreams now?"
"I don't have any."
"Maybe you need new priorities and start working on them."
"You sound like Tank."
"I don't growl as well as he does."