Of Magic and Lies
Chapter 2
AN: Okay guys, I'm super excited for this chapter. And it is HUGE. Sorry about that, but I couldn't find a spot to naturally end the chapter, so I did all of Oz's spell induced mind walk in one big fat chapter.
Certain parts of this are rated M, just so you know.
Reviews are super appreciated, I've never written anything quite like this before. I hope you enjoy. More to come!
…
Oz's POV
It's a strange feeling, having your life torn apart. I don't mean on a small scale either, like losing a lover, or finding out you're dying. Death would have been easier than this. Watching my life…my real life, flash before my eyes has been the single most painful thing I've ever endured.
Willow did this. Changed everything. My entire life…with one spell.
Everything I thought I knew…was a lie.
My senior year at Sunnydale high, the first time, I mean, I met the girl of my dreams. And it wasn't Willow Rosenburg.
She was light personified. All sunshine and smiles. And she was absolutely gorgeous but wasn't the least but conceited or cruel like so many others would have been. I'd admired her from afar since the beginning of the school year but came suddenly crashing into her life when a crazed woman tried to shoot her at the Career Fair. I pushed her out of the way, taking the bullet in my arm. Little did I know, she was the last person who would ever need saving.
She grabbed me and pulled me behind a booth, assessing the damage like a trained medic, putting pressure on the wound. It should have hurt…and it did later. But at the time, I couldn't feel a thing because she was touching me, talking to me, looking at me like she was worried about me.
Then Crazy Lady was firing again and running from the school. I could tell she wanted to follow, though I didn't understand why.
"Go. I'll be fine."
She hesitated. "Are you sure? I could- "
"I'll be alright. Promise. Go."
She sprinted off and suddenly my arm hurt, but I smiled, because it felt like a beginning. And it was.
She found me by my locker the next day, a bunch of sun flowers in her hand.
"These are for you. A thank you, for saving my life."
"Oh..." I know my face is red at this point. "You didn't have to do that."
She smiled at me and I forgot how to breathe. "I wanted to. You took a bullet for some girl you never met. Flowers don't even half way cover it."
I blink at her. I don't usually say very much but I suddenly find myself searching for words. I take the flowers with the hand not currently in a sling. "Thank you."
I got it again, that 1000-kilowatt smile. "So, can I know the name of my mystery hero?"
Oh. Right. I know her name because I'm her borderline creepy stalker guy. That doesn't mean she knows mine. "Daniel Osborne. But call me Oz."
"Oz." She rolls my name off her tongue and I'm suddenly addicted to the way she says it. "I like it. I'm Buffy Summers."
"I know." She raised a perfect golden eyebrow at me, but I volunteer no explanation.
"Well I'll see you around, Oz."
And just like that, I was falling for her. I wish I had been paying more attention, but it was hard to focus on anything that wasn't Buffy when she was around. But if I'd paid more attention, I would have seen the look on her best friend's face and just maybe…I would have seen this coming.
…..
It was her birthday before I finally found the guts to ask her out. Only she beat me to the punch, because of course she did.
Her friends threw her a surprise party at the Bronze, which was crashed by a broody older guy with an arm in a box. An arm that reached up and tried to strange her. Kinda didn't like the broody guy much after that. He didn't seem too fond of me either to be honest.
That's when I found out the girl of my dreams had a secret. A pretty big one at that. She was the Vampire Slayer. Like a super hero with a secret identify and everything.
I'm man enough to admit I felt inadequate for a minute, but then she was staring at me with those big hazel eyes, her usual unwavering confidence nowhere to be found. She was waiting to see what I'd do, waiting for me to freak out and reject her. Never gonna happen.
"Okay."
She blinked, surprised. "You're not freaked?"
"Nope. I think it's cool."
That earned me an armful of Buffy and a glare from the big broody one. Then it clicked. He wanted Buffy. Couldn't really blame him, but that wasn't gonna happen either if I had anything to do with it.
Buffy was a little bummed her party got cut short by the forces of darkness but Angel, as I learned the broody one was called, went to get rid of the arm in a box, and I took Buffy for ice cream. And I got to give her my present.
A mix tape. Not the most original thing in the world, I admit, but we had just started hanging out and I didn't want to scare her off by getting her jewelry or something.
Apparently, she liked it, since the next day, after she had listened to it, she kissed me for the first time. All kisses that came before that one became irrelevant.
I'd like to say the rest is history and we lived happily ever after, but that's not what happened.
Angel disappeared. He never made it out of Sunnydale with the arm. We found out a day later, he'd been ambushed at the docks and captured by Spike and Drusilla. They assembled the Judge and Drusilla had gotten a shaman to strip Angel of his soul, unleashing Angelus on the world.
Buffy was devastated. Angel had been a friend, an ally, and now he was committed to tormenting her at every turn.
But Buffy is smart. She likes to make people think that she isn't. It's a good strategy because then everyone underestimates you. Like the Judge did. My girl blew him away with a rocket launcher.
Then…more bad stuff happened. Because this is Sunnydale. I found out I was a werewolf. And then Buffy found out.
I hadn't known what to expect. Would she slay me? Would she look at me in disgust?
Buffy hadn't done either. She'd been right there when I woke up in the library cage, her back turned. Not sure if that had been for her sake or mine. But she'd opened the cage and smiled at me with that smile that makes me forget what lungs are for.
She'd sat next to me and held my hand while Giles went over Werewolf 101. Giles went back in his office and I look at her, then down at our joined hands.
"You-You'd still…?"
"Course I would. You're still Oz. I'm still Buffy. So, you're gonna be a little furry 3 nights a month. There are 3 days a month I'm not great company either."
I kissed her then, but alarm bells were going off in my newly installed wolf alarm system. Not from Buffy, no. From the seemingly harmless red head watching us through the door.
Buffy and I survived the year. Jenny Calendar and so many others did not. We found out Jenny was a gypsy from the clan that had cursed Angel with a soul. So did Angel. And we got to see first hand just how evil he could be.
But in the end, Buffy managed a victory. She sent Angel to hell when he tried to unleash Acathla. Spike and Drusilla headed for the hills and life returned to normal. Well, normal for a Hellmouth.
Then she spent Summer break in LA with her dad, and my time, when I wasn't practicing with the Dingoes, was spent counting the days until she got back. And also hanging out with the Scoobies since I was apparently one of them now.
Willow had been particularly friendly. Almost too much so. She always wanted to hang out, insisting she wanted to make sure I wasn't 'lonely'. She was Buffy's best friend, so I went along with it most of the time, but I was very relieved when Buffy returned.
When she came back, Buffy and I were closer than ever. I started joining her when she trained with Giles, wanting to hone my new-found werewolf strength. Lycanthrope was a burden, but Buffy was there through it all, and sometimes I was even happy about it, like when we patrolled together, and I got to prove I could hold my own. We completed each other. I loved her, and lucky me, she loved me back.
Then our anniversary came. That was the night we made love for the first time. It wasn't my first time, but it had been hers. Her mom was gone on a buying trip, and we spent the whole weekend in her room, exploring this new aspect of our relationship.
Willow called a lot. Best friend withdrawal, is what Buffy had chalked it up to.
Then Faith entered the picture. I liked Faith. She was good for Buffy. Not always the best influence, but she made Buffy feel less alone.
Willow didn't like Faith. Didn't like the way Xander stared at her boobs, didn't like the way she could bond with Buffy over Slayer stuff. Didn't like the fact that they had no problem including me in their Slayer stuff when the others weren't invited.
Then we found out Angel came back from hell. Willow had managed to restore his soul before Buffy killed him, so it was the soulful version who returned, thankfully.
We also found out Xander had cheated on Cordelia with Willow. Willow had just started dating Scott Hope, and the new relationship did not survive the blow.
After that, Willow was…different. I was never comfortable around her again. She spent more time practicing magic and less time with her friends.
Admittedly, Buffy wasn't the best friend she could have been to Willow during that time. But in her defense, there was a lot going on. Between our relationship, which at times was pretty intense, and her friendship with Faith, and then finding out the Mayor was going to turn into a giant demon, she missed the warning signs, and so did everyone else.
Willow dated Xander for a few months and things got a little better. But then they weren't… Xander was seduced by Faith one night. The day Faith accidentally blurted out that tidbit while we were all in the library was…ugly.
Willow withdrew even further. Buffy tried to be there for her, be the supportive best friend, but Willow didn't seem to want her around. Oh, she still came to the library, and helped with research. She was present. Just not connected.
Then... it was 2 days before Prom. Tensions were high since we were all pretty sure we were gonna be Mayor food come graduation. My furry time of the month had been 2 days ago, and the dark energies the Mayor was channeling through the Hellmouth had made the transformation much more painful than usual. All in all, it was a bad combination.
And it led to our first fight. About Angel of all things.
I was stressed out, I was still in pain from the lunar cycle, and I was trekking through a sewer for reasons I didn't really care enough to find out. Buffy was talking excitedly about the Prom. Her one perfectly normal high school moment.
And she smelled like Angel.
Not intimately of course. Buffy wasn't that kind of person. But the vampire had been getting on my nerves lately. He'd been around a lot more lately, helping out with preparations for the ascension, and he could always seem to find a reason to touch her.
Touching her arm to get her attention, leaning on her to steady himself, brushing her hands when she handed him something, awkward hugs if he thought she looked sad. I'm not usually the jealous type, maybe it was the stress, but it was pissing me off.
But there are just certain things I don't do. They aren't me and I don't do them. Raising my voice is one of those things. I just don't see a point to it. Arguing with people is another. Especially with Buffy. That way leads to badness. And snapping at people. I don't do it. That's more of a Xander thing. Especially with Buffy.
But that night I did all of those things. And all of them were with Buffy.
"Oz are you listening to me?"
"No." It was short and snappy and rude.
Buffy stopped walking and gaped at me. "What?"
I turned to her and came very close to making an angry expression. But I didn't. "There's a really good chance we'll be dead in a few days. Really not interested in talking about Prom."
Buffy snapped her mouth closed with an audible snap and glared at me. "Fine. I'll just be quite."
"Cool." The glare got worse. I'm surprised my face didn't melt off. "Maybe later you can go talk about Prom with Angel."
For a second, I thought she was gonna hit me.
"What is your problem?!"
"Problem?" I start walking again.
"Yeah. What the hell is your problem?"
This is really where I should have let things drop. Buffy's not big on the swear words. Not that she doesn't say them…just not to me. This means she's pissed.
"My problem, Buffy, is that you reek of Angel! What is his deal that he always has to be touching you or hugging you.?"
Buffy frowned. "You're serious right now."
"Yeah."
"You know there's nothing going on between me and Angel… Gosh, I thought we had more trust than that."
"It's not you I don't trust."
Buffy shook her head. "That's so lame."
"Glad you think so." I sighed. Fighting with Buffy was really draining. "Can we just find whatever it is we're here for, so we can go?"
Buffy gave me a hard look. "I'll find it myself. You can go."
And she stormed off.
And I instantly felt like shit.
But we both made mistakes that night. Mine was being an ass. Hers was leaning on the wrong person.
Buffy, being the girl, she is, went straight to her best friend for a shoulder to cry on.
She shouldn't have.
The next day after school, I'm getting ready to go home when Willow approached me.
"Hey Oz."
"Hey." I tried to relax. I did. She's Buffy's friend after all, and I guess kind of my friend too. But something about her had been putting me on edge for a while, and I had learned to trust that feeling.
"I heard you and Buffy had a fight. I'm sorry. You must be really upset." She said, looking at me sympathetically.
I shrugged, not saying anything.
She smiled at me, and my lungs worked just fine. "I-If you ever need to talk, I'm here."
"Thanks Willow."
Next thing I know she's got a hand on the back of my neck and she's leaning in to kiss me. This is the moment I should have done all those Un-Oz like things. The snapping, the yelling, all of it. Not last night. Not with Buffy.
But I didn't. I didn't do any of those things here. I also didn't let her kiss me. That was never gonna happen.
I pushed her away, gently but firmly, and fixed her with a hard stare for a moment. Then I turned and walked away.
One more thing I wasn't gonna do. I wasn't gonna tell Buffy.
What I did do, though, was go straight to her house to apologize.
She had enough on her plate; Graduation, The Mayor, traitorous friends, she didn't need me acting like a jerk added to it. She needed me to be Oz. And that's exactly who I was going to be.
She opened the door and blinked, like she was surprised I was there. She didn't say anything but moved aside, motioning me in.
Her mom wasn't home yet.
We sat down on the couch in the living room and she looked down at her hands.
I spoke first.
"I'm sorry. I acted like a jerk."
She looked at me, surprised. Because that doesn't happen.
I chuckled a little. "Probably a sign of the approaching apocalypse."
She's not fooled by my attempt at humor. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
She's not talking about the argument. I shook my head. "Rough moon. My fault. I'm sorry."
She looked down again. "Angel's leaving after graduation. He's leaving town. So, you don't have to worry about him anymore."
I'm a jerk.
"I wasn't worried. There's just... a lot happening right now. I took it out on you. I'm sorry your friend is leaving."
"It's fine. He needs to go somewhere he isn't constantly reminded of the horrors he did as Angelus. Giles always looks at him like destroyed the world."
"To Giles…he did."
Buffy nodded sadly. "Yeah…he did."
I took her hands in mine. "We're gonna get through this. We'll find a way. That's what the good guys do."
She smiled at me, but it was filled with sadness and uncertainly, and the weight of everything she had to carry. My lungs quit working none the less. Because this was Buffy.
Willow was not Buffy and never would be. I didn't tell Buffy about Willow.
"I love you. More than I ever imagined it was possible to love another person." She looks panicked now, and I know exactly why. "I'm not saying this because I think we're going to die. Opposite actually. I'm saying this because when we go face demon snake Mayor tomorrow, I want you to think about what we're going to do the day after that. And the day after that. And I'm saying this because I have no doubt in my mind that I'm going to marry you one day, Buffy Summers."
Buffy gaped. "Did you just propose to me?"
I grinned at her. "No."
"Okay. Because proposing right because we might all die, is SO not allowed, mister!"
"I'll keep that in mind."
She kissed me then, and I felt the tension of the day before lift. I swept her up in my arms and headed upstairs. If this was our last night on Earth, I was gonna spend it in her arms. And other various warm Buffy-places, mom or no mom.
She broke away long enough to tell me she sent her mom away from the Hellmouth.
No mom is it then.
...
The next day was bad. Really bad. Faith got taken out by one of the Mayor's goons and was lying in the hospital in a coma.
Buffy was a wreck. The arrow had been meant for her. I couldn't help but be glad it hadn't been her. I'm selfish that way.
Willow sat in the library with everyone before the battle. If Buffy noticed her staring at me, she didn't comment. She probably didn't notice, what with trying to save the world.
I had hoped she'd get the point and let whatever her little fascination was with me drop. Guess not.
I wish I had told Buffy. Maybe she'd have seen this coming.
...
We beat the Mayor. The high school was toast. Faith was still in a coma and Buffy visited her daily.
We spent the summer together, hanging out and getting ready for college life. Willow was around too, in a way she hadn't been in a while. I wanted to be happy that Buffy's friend seemed to have come out of her funk… But I wasn't. I was worried. Something wasn't right and this sudden desire to reconnect with everyone was unsettling.
I'll regret for the rest of my life that I never told Buffy. Buffy is smart. She would have seen this coming. I didn't see this coming.
The time came, and we started at UC Sunnydale. Buffy's roommate was a demon. Buffy got rid of her then got Willow as a roommate instead.
Funny how that didn't make me feel better.
Things slowed down for a while and Buffy and I had a lot of time for… each other.
There was something I had been wanting to talk about with her for a while. But I kept putting it off, scared of what she might think… what she might say. Mostly scared of her saying no.
I act like a slacker, but I can be a pretty studious guy when I want to be. And when I became a werewolf, I studied up. Knowledge is power and all that.
I had also gotten pretty in tune with the wolf within me. That was mostly thanks to Buffy. I never had to pretend with her. Never had to act more human than I felt. The closer it gets to the full moon, the closer the wolf is to the surface, and some days, I felt like more wolf than man. And Buffy…that beautiful creature I got to call mine could always tell, just by looking at me. On the more human days, we'd go to the Expresso Pump or watch movies and eat cookies. On my…less human days, we'd go for a long run away from people. Or we'd go to the beach and sit on the sand and she'd read to me while I laid my head in her lap. Always away from people. The wolf doesn't like people. Well people that aren't Buffy, anyway.
That brings me back to what I wanted to ask her. We'd already talked about the marriage thing, and she was on board. But… all the wolf parts of me ached for her. Constantly. It was like Oz the human had Buffy, but Oz the wolf didn't. Oz the wolf… wanted her as a mate.
This wasn't something to be taken lightly. Werewolves mate for life. Literally. If the bond was strong enough, if one mate died, the other would often follow. Their bodies would just…give out. This could potentially cause the 'No' I was so afraid of. Buffy was the Slayer. That usually doesn't come with a long shelf life. But I didn't care. To me… Buffy was air. If she was ever gone… what reason did I have to stay?
But I'd made my choice, not like there was much of one. I went and found her that day before I lost my nerve. She was in the cafeteria. With Willow. Great.
"Hey."
She turned and looked at me, and I wondered for a moment if there would ever come a day when I could breathe when she smiled. Probably not.
"Hey you." She gave me a quick kiss.
I grinned at her. "Can't stay long, got class in a minute. You doing anything later?"
She shook her head. "I'm all yours."
"Cool. I wanted to talk to you about something."
She raised an eyebrow at me. "A good something or a bad something?"
I reached out, running my fingers through the bit of her hair laying on her shoulder. "I think it's a good something."
She smiled at me coyly then. "Oooh. Is it a sexy something?"
My grin widened. "It could be a sexy something."
Her eyes grew wide. "It's not the kind of sexy something that's gonna hurt right? Cause I mean…"
A bark of laughter escaped me, and I turned to leave. "I'll see you later, baby."
Willow came up behind her. "What was that about?"
"Not sure. He'll tell me later. I hope he's not gonna ask to stick it in my ass, cause I don't think I'm ready for that."
I clamped a hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter as I walk out of the cafeteria. Sometimes she forgets how good my wolf hearing is. Or maybe she doesn't…
"Buffy!" I heard Willow exclaim.
"Sorry. That's something Faith would have said. I miss her…"
I didn't hear the rest, but there was no chance of me paying any attention in class after that.
….
Later that night we were in my room. I don't do nervous very well and Buffy was looking at me funny, and I imagine I probably look something like Willow when she's had caffeine. Not a great look.
"What's up with you?"
I shrugged nd sat next to her on the bed.
"I um… I wanted to ask you something."
"So you mentioned."
"And no, your ass is safe. For now, anyway."
She laughed, and I knew she knew I heard her.
"So what is it?" I guess she saw my nerves because she took my hand and the playful tone was gone from her voice. "Come on, you know you can ask my anything."
I took a deep breath and went for it in typical Oz fashion. "I want you to be my mate." To the point. Minimal words.
"Splainy."
Nope. Not getting off that easy.
"It's a wolf thing." I passed her the book that was sitting on my desk. I wanted her to have all the details before she made her choice.
I watched her face as she read the passage, watched the various emotions play across her delicate features. Confusion, happiness, lust, then…horror.
She snapped the book shut and stood up, dropping it back on my desk like it burned her.
When she turned and looked at me, her eyes were wide and glassy. "Oz…you can't expect me to do this."
I expected this, but it didn't stop the stab of pain at her initial rejection.
"Buffy- "
"No! Oz… you do realize I'm The Slayer, right? That book… it said if one of us dies, the other could die too! I'm not… I c-can't…"
I moved toward her, taking her hands in mine. "Buffy, I know what it says, but here me out."
She looked everywhere but at me. I placed my hands on her cheeks, forcing her to look in my eyes. "Honey listen. You're it for me. My one and only. You are the single most important person in my life, and if you weren't here… it'd be like losing a limb or worse, a torso. Where you go, I go. Whether that be on patrol or-or to get pizza, or into the afterlife. I'm good with that. I'm not worried." I wiped a tear from her cheek with the pad of my thumb. "Your battles are my battles. We're probably going to end up going out together anyway. And I wouldn't have it any other way. But this is about more than that. I need you. All of me needs you."
"You have me." She choked out.
"I know that. I do." I reassured her. "But… the wolf needs to feel like he has you too. And…is for that part of me. Does that make sense?"
She nodded slowly. "I get it…I do. I just hate the thought of you dying because of me."
I smiled a little. "And I knew you' d feel that way before I ever asked."
She stepped back a bit, looking at the floor.
"I-I need some time… to think about this and…process…everything."
I nodded but I suddenly felt sick. "Of course. Take as much time as you need."
"Okay. I should go." She pressed a kiss to my lips. "I love you."
"I love you too."
The sound of the door shutting as she left was the worst sound I'd ever heard.
…..
The next morning was awful. I knew it the second I woke up. I was honestly surprised my eyes weren't yellow. I was way more wolf than man, which was a little surprising since the full moon was still 6 days away. But I knew why.
I had slept alone for the first time in a very long time, and the wolf was pissed. He felt like I fucked everything up. Hell, I felt like I fucked everything up. Usually when I had days like this, Buffy was there to 'soothe the savage beast' so to speak. Which basically involved her sitting on my face until I no longer wanted to kill people.
That would not be happening today. So, plan B. Meditating and hoping no one got hurt.
I didn't see Buffy during the day. I wasn't even sure she went to class, which did nothing for my mood.
I needed Buffy. But Buffy needed time. So that's what I'd give her.
That night, I sat on my bedroom floor, barefoot and shirtless, mediating in a desperate attempt to calm my wolf. No one else was home, and the silence was welcomed.
My concentration was broken by a loud clap of thunder, and I hoped Buffy wasn't patrolling in this. Or if she was, hoped she would at least call me to pick her up.
A few minutes later I was disturbed again by a knock on the front door. I answered it and there before me was the subject of my thoughts, completely soaked to the bone, and shivering, her thin, zip-up hoodie doing nothing to shield her from the downpour.
I asked no questions as I pulled her inside and led her to my room. She didn't need questions right now. She needed me to be Oz.
Her lips trembled as I stripped off her wet clothes and dried her off with her favorite fluffy towel. I pulled one of my shirts over her head and we sat down on the bed. I pulled her into my arms and the shivering stopped.
"You're wolfy today." Was the first thing she said.
I nodded. When the wolf is close to the surface, I tend to talk even less. She's used to it.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know. The moon is still a few days off."
I shook my head. "Don't be."
"Oz…" Her voice was soft. "I'll do it."
My brow furrowed, and she turned to face me, pressing her forehead against mine.
"I want all of you. And I want all of you to have all of me. So... my answer is yes."
I felt the pain that had been in my chest since she walked out the door yesterday, finally ease.
"Are you sure, Buffy?" I asked anyway. There was no going back after this.
"It's not about when we'll die." She said, her voice strong and confident now. "It's about how we'll live. Joined. Connected. Forever."
And I was suddenly very glad the wolf was so close to the surface. After all…this was for him...me…us.
And there was only one word the wolf needed to say: "Mine." It was more growl than word as I captured her lips and pushed her back onto the bed.
My shirt disappeared, and my princess laid bare before me, my pants soon joined it, and I was between her thighs. The quiet, needy sounds she made, made my head spin, and the man in me took a backseat, allowing the wolf to claim his mate.
She was slick and hot as I slid inside, my eyes screwed shut as I struggled to maintain what little control I had. I drew out of her slowly before pushing back in, Buffy's hips rolling to meet my thrusts. We were a perfect fit. Soon the rhythm was set, and I was pounding into her silken heat. I didn't need to be gentle with Buffy. She could take everything I had to offer and give back as good as she got. I growled as she fisted a hand in my hair, the tingling pain only heightening my senses. I leaned my face into her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. My tongue darted out, laving at the spot where my mark would go. I groaned deeply as glorious Slayer muscles clench around my cock. I reached between us, rubbing the swollen sensitive nub. As she exploded around me, I bit down, feeling my teeth extend. Deep enough to break the skin, not enough to draw blood.
And I actually felt the bond snap into place as my climax hit…and then everything went black.
We came to somewhere around noon the next day, our classes for the day blown. There was a pleasant hum in a place I couldn't identify where our bond had formed, and we spent the next few days exploring the differences.
It was nothing dramatic. We couldn't communicate telepathically or anything. But there was definitely a certain awareness of each other. I knew when she was nearby, even if I couldn't see her. It was like I could feel her presence inside me.
And the wolf was calm.
The moon that followed our mating was the easiest I'd ever had. The transformation was nearly painless, and I was aware of what was going on. I couldn't control anything, but I remembered everything that happened the next morning.
Buffy was excited, and we made a mental note to talk to Giles about it at some point. But we got distracted and caught up in each other and forgot to mention it. Something I'm grateful for now.
Then, about 6 weeks later, Buffy got sick. Really sick. She had been feeling off for a few days. Barely eating, headaches, nausea.
Of course, she refused to go to the doctor. Then one night she collapsed.
I rushed her to the hospital and waited anxiously as the doctors checked her. For some reason, I didn't call anyone. Not her mom, not Giles. I don't know if it was nerves or maybe on some level I knew what was wrong. Either way, as the doctor spoke the words, I was glad it was just us.
Buffy was pregnant.
She was terrified, of course. We both were. She was only 19, I was only 20. Not to mention the whole Slayer and Werewolf complications. But after it passed… we were happy.
The doctor gave her medicine to help with the nausea and we went back to my place. The rest of the night, I just held her in my arms as we stared at the tiny sonogram picture the doctor had given us.
I laid awake after Buffy had drifted off to sleep, my mind racing. It was a lot to process, but I was already making plans.
…
The next morning, while Buffy was in class, I called my mom. Admittedly, a rare occurrence, but I needed something from her. The key to her safe deposit box where my grandparents' Claddagh rings were kept.
"Sure, hon. It's in my top drawer. What for?"
"I'm gonna propose to Buffy."
"Oh, how nice, sweetie." My mom was distracted. She usually was. That was fine, I could work with that.
"Hey… you don't mind if Buffy and I move into the house, do you? I mean, I'll need to do a couple repairs first…"
"Well I don't see why not. Better than it sitting there empty. I'll send some money, so you can fix it."
"Cool, thanks mom."
"All my love."
"You too. Bye."
Things were starting to take shape. The house would be a surprise, closer to when the baby was due. The only challenge would be finding time to sneak away to do the repairs. And paint the baby's room.
There was so much going on, I forgot all about Willow and her strange behavior.
…
A few days later, Buffy and I were at the beach, watching the sun set. I'll never forget the way the orange light bathed her face, making her look like every bit of the angel I thought she was.
And right there, before her, I dropped to one knee. No speeches, no fanfare. Just us and the sound of the crashing waves. I extended my hand, the small satin box open, displaying my grandmother's ring. It was simple, shiny and silver, the crown, heart, and hands symbolizing everything this woman was to me.
"Buffy," I said softly, barely more than a whisper. "Marry me?"
Buffy stared at me for a moment, her eyes wide and damp. My heart felt like it was coming out of my chest. I was pretty sure I knew her answer, but that didn't make it any easier.
A lone tear rolled down her cheek and she finally spoke. "Yes."
Then she was in my arms and my thoughts went back to the Career Fair three years ago. Shot in the arm, and the beautiful blond ray of sunshine fussing over me, then chasing a crazy lady with a gun out of the school and feeling like that moment was the beginning of something. This moment felt like that too. The beginning of something even better.
And there was something I was supposed to remember… but I didn't.
….
That weekend Buffy and I drove to Lake Tahoe. We hadn't told anyone what we were doing. The days to come would be filled with explanations and judgments and lectures. But this weekend was for us.
I was marrying my best friend.
We got to the chapel and Buffy disappeared into the back to get ready, the minister's wife fussing over her the whole way.
Getting ready for me took all of 10 minutes, a simple black tux, rented shortly before we came. Apparently, I grew at some point since high school. The tux from Prom didn't fit right anymore.
I stood at the alter waiting for the love of my life. The minister gave me a reassuring smile. The church was beautiful, decorated in white and pink flowers and lace and everything else I didn't really care about but hoped Buffy wanted.
And then she was there.
At the end of the aisle stood everything I had ever wanted. And I couldn't breathe. Wasn't even trying.
The dress she wore hugged every curve, the strapless gown proudly showing off my mark on her neck, and the waves of silk hung down to the floor making her look like she was floating towards me.
I don't remember much of the ceremony. I don't remember the words I repeated.
I remember the warmth of her hand in mine and I slid the ring on her finger, I remember the way her eyes sparkled as she looked at me like I was someone worthy.
I remember the kiss that joined us together every bit as much as the mark on her neck.
And I remember thinking 'This is forever'.
I wish that had been true.
…
The time came to head back to Sunnydale. It was time to share our news and ride out the chaos that would no doubt follow.
We met up with everyone at Giles' apartment and I could tell Buffy was nervous.
I squeezed her hand gently in mine. "It's gonna be fine."
She nodded, and we walked through to door. Giles was sitting in his arm chair, Willow, Xander, and Xander's new girlfriend Anya were sitting on the sofa. Buffy and I took the smaller sofa on the other side.
The 'hi's' were exchanged, and I caught the way Willow looked at our joined hands. That was what I'd forgotten about. Willow.
Willow's eyes held mine for a moment and there was something in them I couldn't quite describe. It was like she knew something I didn't. Then Buffy was talking, and the moment was gone.
"So, there's something we wanted to tell you guys." Her nerves couldn't keep the excitement from her voice. She held up her left hand, proudly displaying the Claddagh pointed inward. "We got married!"
The others erupted into various exclamations of shock, but I was watching Willow's face. She can be sneaky but hiding her emotions is an afterthought most of the time. This time was no different. For a brief moment I could clearly see the horror, rage, and despair, before she hid it behind a mask of surprise and friendly support.
I was going to have to keep an eye on her.
"Married? Buffy why didn't you tell me? I would have gone!" Willow said, her voice a little too high.
"I'm sorry Will. I was kind of a spur of the moment thing, and we wanted it to be just us. Our last 'Us' moment before life gets all crazy." She glanced at me and that was my cue to pick up with the next part of our news.
Sure honey, thanks for giving me the hard one. Giles isn't going to choke her.
I cleared my throat and looked down at my hands, basically anywhere that wasn't Giles' face. "That brings us to the next part of our news. Buffy's pregnant."
Silence.
I dared to sneak a look at Giles' face, half expecting him to be cleaning his glasses. He wasn't. Nope he was staring dead at me and I was forcefully reminded of his Ripper past.
Anya broke the silence and for once I was glad for her bluntness. "Well congratulations on impregnating the Slayer. For a Werewolf, I'm sure this is quite an accomplishment."
Maybe a little too blunt.
I swallowed. "Um, thanks?"
Giles stood, his face stern. "I trust I don't need to tell you how rash and irresponsible you've both been." We shook our heads and Giles continued. "I am incredibly disappointed in you Buffy. You are the Slayer. You have a responsibility to defend the Hellmouth. A responsibility that, unless Faith wakes, will be left unattended. It would be far too dangerous for you to continue to patrol as your pregnancy progresses."
I spoke up then. "It won't be unattended. I'm taking over patrols."
Buffy looked at me, surprised. We hadn't talked about this part.
"Starting right now." I stressed to her. She opened her mouth to protest and I shook my head. "I know you're capable. But it's not about you right now."
She sighed, and her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine."
I looked back up at Giles. Now he was cleaning his glasses. The worst had passed.
"Very well. Do be careful. Both of you. Have you told your mother?"
Buffy sighed again. "No. She's our next stop."
Xander seemed to find his voice again. "Well Buff…I guess, congratz." He flashed her a smile and I felt her relax a little. "I get to be cool uncle Xander!" Xander stood and opened his arms and Buffy jumped up, hugging her friend.
I glanced at Willow and she was watching her 2 best friends, her face unreadable. Maybe this would be enough to make her move past her infatuation. Willow wasn't a bad person. She was a friend and I wanted her to be happy.
I like to think I'm a good judge of character. I like to think that. But apparently, I'm not. After all…Willow's the reason my life was torn apart.
….
The Holidays came around and Buffy was starting to feel maternal already. She made a huge Thanksgiving dinner for everyone at Giles' house, since her mother was out of town. But this is Sunnydale and we were ambushed by vengeful spirits. Buffy, to her credit, really tried to stay out of the fight but she got attacked while hiding behind the now harmless, chipped, Spike. She had a doctor's appointment the next week anyway and we were relieved that everything was fine.
Christmas was good too. The gang got together at Buffy's house this time and Mrs. Summers made sure everyone was stuffed and happy. Buffy got a little weepy, hoping she'd be as good a mother as her own.
Her hormones were doing some strange things lately. And she was finally starting to show a little. In another month, we would find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. I was secretly hoping for a girl. I know most guys tend to want a boy, but I couldn't help wanting a little tiny mini-Buffy.
Buffy's birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks and all in all, life was good.
That should have been my first clue that things were about to go horribly wrong.
….
It was a chilly night and I was restless, anxious, for reasons unknown. I was walking to my van after patrol when Xander found me. He was running toward me, his face pale.
"We have to go to the hospital. It's Buffy."
Those words slammed into me, like a blow to the gut. But I was in motion in an instant. I understood now, the reason I'd been on edge. My mate needed me.
The drive to the hospital was a blur and I barely had time to turn off the ignition before I was sprinting into Sunnydale's ER.
Willow and Giles were already there.
"What happened?"
"We don't know." Willow said, her lips trembling. "The doctor wouldn't tell us anything."
Giles had turned and was motioning to a man in a white coat. "Here he is now. We should be able to get some answers."
The doctor approached. "You Mr. Osbourne?"
I nodded.
"I'm doctor Sadler. Come with me please?"
"What happened to my wife?" I demanded, but he's walking already, leading me to the room where Buffy was.
We stopped outside the door and I can see my wife through the window. She was pale and hooked up to an IV.
"Mr. Osbourne, I haven't told your wife yet. I wanted to wait until you got here. She's going to need a lot of support."
I stared at the doctor, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. "What…happened?"
"We aren't sure. But your wife suffered a hemorrhage in her abdomen…she's lost a lot of blood. It's a miracle she's alive."
My mouth was dry, and my voice was hoarse as I spoke. "The baby?"
The doctor sighed and shook his head. "There was nothing we could do. By the time her friend got her here, she had already miscarried."
If the doctor said anything after that, I didn't hear him. I couldn't hear anything. Couldn't feel anything. Didn't feel my back hit the wall, or my hands grabbing for support as my legs gave out. Couldn't feel Giles' hands on my shoulders as he tried to steady me.
I could barely make out his concerned face in front of me. I knew he was saying something. I didn't know what it was, and I didn't really care.
Giles sat on the floor across from me, waiting for me to start breathing again. I guess at some point I did because I could make out what he was saying now.
"She's going to need you."
I nodded, the action making me dizzy. Giles helped me up and I took a deep breath before slowly waking into Buffy's room, the doctor entering behind me.
My mate looked at me, her eyes wide and filling with tears as she saw my face. The doctor didn't need to tell her anything. My face said it all.
I went to the bed and pulled her into my arms. I vaguely heard the doctor talking to her over my shoulder and felt her start to shake as sobs wracked her small frame.
I don't know how long we stayed like that, crying together, but her cries of anguish gave way to sniffles and silent tears and I pulled away, looking at her face.
"What happened?" I asked softly.
Her eyes were wide and she shook her head. "I don't know. I was in your room, watching TV, then all of a sudden there was this presents… like a dark shadow in the room with me. So I ran. I ran outside, b-but it caught me. It went right though me...and then…I-I don't know! I woke up and I was here, and everything hurt so much…"
I pulled her into my arms again, her tears soaking my shirt. But she was still talking. It was muffled, but I heard her.
"Willow said she found me. She said there was blood everywhere…"
Willow. Buffy had been at my place. Why had Willow been there?
….
Buffy was released from the hospital 2 days later and we went straight to Giles'. I needed answers.
Everyone was already there, and Giles had made a spot on the cough for Buffy with a blanket and extra pillows. Giles forever has my loyalty for the way he cares for my mate.
"Buffy told you what she saw that night." It wasn't really a question.
Giles nodded. "I have already begun my research but… we don't have much to go on, I'm afraid."
That was pretty much what I expected. But there was someone in the room I was sure had more information.
"Willow." I turned to her. "Buffy said you found her outside the band's house. Did you see anything?"
Willow shook her head. "N-no. Buffy was on the ground, a-and she was bleeding but there was no shadow or anything."
Something in her voice was off, and my wolf was raging inside me.
"What were you doing there?"
The question caught her off guard. "What?"
"You found Buffy at the house… but why were you there in the first place?"
Xander jumped to his friend's defense. "Hey! Without Will, Buffy could have died. Don't you think you're asking the wrong question?"
I didn't take my eyes off Willow as I spoke. "No. I don't."
Willow looked nervous now. "I-I was just walking. It was a nice night."
My eyes narrowed. "No, it wasn't. It was cold. And I don't live that close to the dorms, Willow."
Willow began to stammer and out of the corner of my eye I saw Giles stand, looking at Willow suspiciously. "It was unusually cold for California. Not exactly weather one would want to be out in unless they had a reason. What were you doing Willow?"
"I'm sure she had a perfectly good reason." Xander insisted. "Right Will?"
Willow was silent and Xander blinked at her. "Tell em' Willow."
I took a step toward her. "You knew something was going to happen." It wasn't a question.
"I-I…" Willow sighed heavily, and the shocked look melted from her face. "I always knew you were quick, Oz."
I heard my mate gasp behind me and I growled low in my throat, the sound echoing through the room. "What. Did. You. Do?"
"What had to be done. What did you expect?" She spat. "That I could just sit by and let this happen? That I could stand it?!"
Xander is standing now too. "What are you talking about, Willow?"
"You really think I was going to let that little whore keep you?!"
Buffy struggled to get to her feet.
"Oh, don't bother Buffy. There's nothing you can do anyway. I already won."
I felt my canines extend in my mouth and I knew my eyes were yellow now. "You haven't won anything." I snarled.
Willow just smiled at me, her eyes wild and dangerous. "That's what you think."
Then, faster than I could blink, she smashed a vile on the floor, chanting as the room filled with purple smoke.
Then everything went dark.