Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine are Mad That They Don't Have Dark Rides

Ariel, Belle and Jasmine stormed up to City Hall.

"Can I help you?" said the woman working at the counter. She had big glasses and a hairstyle that looked like a bee's nest. Her name tag read "Meryl."

"Yes, we'd like to file a complaint" Jasmine said, in her trademark outfit that ironically violated the Disneyland dress code.

"There aren't any rides based on our movies!" Belle said, complaining.

Ariel nodded.

"You'll have to fill out this form in triplicate," Meryl said, giving Jasmine a pink piece of paper with hundreds of boxes and lines on it. She took a seat and began to fill it out.

"This is ridiculous! I'm in the freakin' Parade of Dreams! I'm the movie that brought this company out of a ten year slump! I was the sexiest Disney character since Cinderella!" Ariel signed with her hands – she had lost her voice to the sea witch. Or some sort of cold.

"And I charmed millions of little girls with my compassion and love! Now if I don't get a f--king ride soon I'm going to go commando on this park!" Belle added.

Meryl sighed. The Pixar characters had done this exact same thing three years ago…

"Done!" Jasmine finally said triumphantly, slamming the papers down on the desk.

All of a sudden, the sun set. A bright glow suddenly surrounded Ariel, and the main theme of "Part of Your World" by Ashman/Menken could be heard echoing through the halls. Ariel fell to the ground, once again a mermaid.

"Damn it!" Ariel said, crossing her arms and pouting, "Does this ALWAYS have to happen?"

Jasmine and Belle looked at each other.

"I ain't carryin' her," Jasmine said first, beating Belle to the punch. Belle rolled her eyes, got an official Disneyland Resort© wheelchair, and soon, the three were walking/being pushed down Main Street.

"This is so stupid. Sure, they make attractions about a man in tights taking young children to Neverland, a toad that goes to hell, a girl that falls down a rabbit hole because of a negligent sister, and a wooden boy that has a cricket as his voice of reason. But we're left in the cold, forced to do Meet 'n Greets all day." Ariel said.

"At least you have a designated area," Belle said, "Usually they just stick me in front of the bloody castle."

Hundreds of wide-eyed little girls had asked for the princesses' autographs at this point, but being in their moody and angry states, they had ignored each and every one of them.

The girls now stopped in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle, and looked up at the building in all its majesty.

"Aurora is such a slut," Jasmine said a minute later.

"Totally," agreed Belle. Suddenly Snow White came over from her wishing well.

"Oh, hello girls," she said smugly, like the cocky, self-centered, egotistical mirror-loving girl she is.

"Hello," Ariel said nonchalantly.

"Wondering around aimlessly? Figures. You three don't have a place to call home."

"Shut up, Snow White!" Belle said defensively, "At least OUR movies won Academy Awards!"

"Oh yeah? Well mine got a special award!"

"Yeah…Special ED!" Jasmine shot back lamely, as that was the best she could think of.

"Oh that's it," Snow White said, and lunged at Belle. Belle ducked out of the way and Snow White crashed into Ariel, sending her flying into the moat.

Belle and Jasmine both jumped on Snow White, and guests crowded around to watch.

Cinderella came running out of Fantasyland.

"I'll help you girls! I don't have a ride either!" she said. But she lost her shoe on the drawbridge, and had to run back and get it.

Minutes later, Belle and Jasmine got up off the ground, and stared down at Snow White.

She was dead.

Or maybe just knocked out.

Suddenly, from behind them, the water in the moat started to bubble. A bright light shot out and another rousing orchestration of "Part of Your World" could be heard. Seconds later, Ariel burst up through the water and soggily walked up to Jasmine and Belle.

"Did I miss it?" Ariel asked, staring down at Snow White.

"Yup."

"…Damn."