A/N: The following chronicle was accounted and retold by author Werecat Boy. I thank him for his accurate and detailed retelling. For some of his stories, please visit his Profile!

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A Few Bad Apples

Retold by Werecat Boy

It was a bright shining day as the gates to Disneyland opened, and thousands of smiling guests poured in down Main Street. Making her way through the crowd was a hunched over old beggar woman pushing a covered cart. The old woman looked over the happy guests and cackled maliciously to herself.

"Heh heh, look at all those smiling fools, coming in to enjoy their 'magical' day. Bah Makes me sick," the Evil Queen grumbled to herself in her old witch disguise. "So, that rotten brat thinks she can shut down my apple-selling operation in Fantasyland, eh? Well, I'll show her " The Evil Queen then began to uncover the sheet off her wagon, revealing a mini fruit cart inscribed "Grimhilde's Fruit Goodies."

"Come and get your nice fresh juicy apples " the old witch barked to the crowd. "Don't be left out now You haven't experienced a trip to the Magic Kingdom without trying one of our one-of-a-kind apples "

A little boy then skipped up to the cart, pulling his mother (already exhausted even after being in the park for half an hour) along. "Mommie, mommie I want an apple " the child jumped up and down.

"Not now dear, I thought you said you wanted to go the Matterhorn." The mother then shot an icy glance at the old woman. "Besides, I wouldn't trust any fruit from a woman that ugly even if she is a Disney employee." The mother pulled her little child away and they began to head down Main Street.

After hours of calling out to guests, the witch was starting to lose her voice and started to consider packing up her wares. Just as she was about to roll the cart away, an important looking man in a business executive-style suit stepped up to the old witch. "I'll take an apple, please."

"That'll be 15 dollars," the Queen answered.

"15 dollars? "

"What do you expect? This is Disneyland "

"Fine " the man handed over the money, and took a bit of the apple. "Mmm, it's nice and juicy." Suddenly, the man collapsed to the ground under the sleeping death, as the queen cackled to herself. Before she could take joy in the sight of her victim's demise, two men in black sunglasses and suits with walkie-talkies stepped up to the queen.

"Looks like we got a 515 in progress," one of the men said into the walkie-talkies. "Swarm Swarm " In a flash, dozens of Disneyland security guards surrounded the old hag.

"What's going on? " the witch demanded.

"You're going away for a long time for what you did to Mr. Iger, witchy."

A bunch of Main Street Keystone Kops then appeared on the scene and threw the witch into the back of a paddy wagon before motoring down to City Hall, where the Evil Queen was booked and forced to be trapped inside a tiny room atop Snow White's Scary Adventures for months; her only enjoyment being looking out the window down at the happy smiling guests.

And shortly after being locked up, Snow White stepped outside the attraction and taunted the Queen by throwing rocks at the window and shouting obscenities. "That's what you get for forcing me to work as a maid, you rotten bitch!" This spectacle however soon came to an end after a few minutes, when Snow White was hauled off backstage to cool down and to keep her away from impressionable children's ears.