It may be a little hard to understand who is saying what in this chapter, as I will be POV jumping. But think about it, and it should be easy to understand. I know I just contradicted myself, but, oh well.

It's hard to argue when
you won't stop making sense
But my tongue still misbehaves and it
keeps digging my own grave with my
Hands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

Lord, he was right. Well, partly right. It wasn't that he was no good for me. He was amazingly too good for me. I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't good for him. Was it so hard to believe that her wanted no part of my life, that he could easily forget me?

No. It was overly believable.


Why would I sabotage
the best thing that I have
Well, it makes it easier to know
exactly what I want with my...

What was I leaving? She was too good for me. I was lying when I said those things. She is too amazingly perfect for me. I'm not good for her.

How could she believe those abominable untruths? I didn't WANT her? How could that ever be?

My family hated me. Alice thought I was cruel, insane, masochistic. Jasper thought it was all his fault. Emmett was upset that bella would be leaving… his favorite plaything. Esme hated to see me do this to myself. Carlisle. He was disappointed. I hated to disappoint him. This was worse than my rebellious streak. I was killing myself, hurting myself, and another.

Hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
that your heart opens

Pleae… Stay…

Please.


It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

That night, of course, I had to inflict more pain. I stayed, watch her sleep. Watch her cry herself to sleep. All I wanted to do was slip through her window, hold her, tell her everything would be ok, that I would never leave her.

But I couldn't. That would have been one more lie. One more tie to sever in this clean break.

So much for painless


Put Sufjan Stevens on
and we'll play your favorite song
"Chicago" bursts to life and your
sweet smile remembers you, my

I listened, waiting to hear my lullaby. Thinking, maybe, just maybe, this was all some cruel joke. But all I saw, as my eyelids finally drooped with exhaustion, was his face. The ultimate picture of why I simply was not good enough for him.

Hands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

Please. Tell me the pain will end. Tell me you;ll be back one day.

I love you…


It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

I love you…

Actually, after reading this, it was really obvious. Well, goodnight, loves.