Hi everyone, I'm back again! I really wasn't planning on making this a two-part fic originally (which it's really not, it's basically two one-shots being put together). But this idea just popped into my head, so of course, when inspiration strikes, to work I go! It's kinda weird, I'll admit, but I'm not gonna lie, I had a lot of fun writing this. But enough about what I have to say, I wanna know what you guys think! You all know what to do! Please read and review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Foster's Home Imaginary Friends
Making the Best of It
(Another short story by Dude 13)
"WHY ME?" the aggravated-looking, redheaded young woman implored miserably as she stormed into the restaurant bathroom.
Judging by her location, plus the nice white sweater, brown skirt and matching knee-high boots she was finely attired in, it was clear that the frustrated girl was there supposedly on a "nice" night out with presumably a handsome young suitor. Unfortunately though, as shown by her fiercely gritted teeth, tightly clenched fists, and uncontrollable swearing, it was quite obvious Frances "Frankie" Foster was having anything but a magical evening of romance. Pacing about back and forth across the tile floor, she threw up her arms in hysterics as she launched into a furious tirade.
"Go for it Frankie, it's just a blind date. C'mon Frankie, what could go wrong? It's okay Frankie, my friend said Nick's such a sweet guy." Frankie sneered sarcastically to herself. "Real sweet guy….pfft! Yeah right, thanks a lot Kathy! More like the most arrogant blowhard I've ever met in my life! Conceited jerk, act's like he's such hot stuff…calls me "babe" at every chance he gets…won't shut the hell up about the one season he played for his college football team…and for the love of God, why does he have that weird smell? AUGH!" she yelled in exasperation, not caring who heard her.
"And I swear, if he brings up one more story about his sleazy bar exploits with his dimwit pals, I'll…I'll…"
Not bothering to finish with her threat, Frankie dropped her purse and rushed over to the sink. Turning on the faucet, she immediately began to splash cold water against her face, hoping desperately that it's frigidity would snap some sense back into her and settle her badly-frazzled nerves.
"It's okay Frankie, it's okay." She reassured herself fervently as she glanced at her haggard reflection in the mirror. "You can do this! Don't lose it now girl, you can get through this! You can…do…"
Unfortunately, this slapdash confidence booster failed miserably to alleviate her fears about surviving the night. Emitting a pitiful groan, Frankie leaned her forehead against the mirror as she continued the dramatic struggle to regain a sense of composure.
A blind date…either she had sunk to rock bottom, or she was merely continuing to suffer through an incomprehensible amount of bad luck on the dating scene. What in the world made her think that this would be a good idea? Letting herself get set up on this through her friend with a guy Kathy didn't even know? If she could, Frankie would've kicked herself repeatedly until kingdom come. Now here she was, trapped at some random Japanese restaurant, four miles out of town and altogether ten miles from home, while all the while the date from hell waited for her back at the table.
Frankie cursed once more under her breath. She knew things weren't going to turn out well the second Nick's car had pulled up to Foster's. When she picked up that weird sense that something was a little off about him, she should've gone with her gut instinct and fled right back into the safety of her house. Unfortunately, she had missed her one chance to escape, and since then things had gone completely downhill since then, Nick turning out to be one of the slimiest, most loathsome men she even had the displeasure to meet. Frankie had only known him for an hour, and already she felt as if she could compile a list of all his despicable qualities over a mile long. His overwhelming arrogance, his disgustingly crude sense of humor, his insistence on calling her nauseating nicknames…and that was barely scratching the surface. She thought that was all bad, but sadly, the worst had yet to come. Frankie moaned as she shut her eyes and remembered back to less than fifteen minutes before.
"Nick, I have a little brother, see, and well, I-"
"Oh, no problemo, babe! I have a kid sister of my own, y'know."
"No, no, wait! You don't understand, he-"
"Yeah, they can be a real pain, can't they? Ha ha! Okay, so where was ? Oh yeah, so there I was with my pals, Ed and Tom. We were about to take the twenty-one shot challenge together, and then, get this, you'll love it…"
Frankie desperation was complete. Her situation had gotten so utterly despicable she did the unthinkable. Not even halfway through dinner, she had tried to blurt out the one unique facet about her that had so far successfully driven away every man she had dated for the past few months…until now. Sadly for her, Frankie was simply trapped in a dating nightmare that was getting worse and more horrific by the second. The one possible thing she had left, the one special fact about her that until this very moment she had never considered to try and use in her favor, had failed. Nick had brushed it all aside within an instant, and before she had the chance to get any further, he just continued on blabbing about his stupid bar hopping exploits. In was set in stone, he was absolutely unstoppable and this had officially become one of the worst nights of her life. Was there nothing that she could-
Frankie's thoughts suddenly became scattered at the sound of a shrill ring-tone. Without even thinking, she picked up her purse, dug out her cell-phone, and lifted it to her ear with a bitter snarl.
"Yeah, what is it?" she snapped irritably.
Dead silence was all that could be heard from the other line. Just before Frankie was about to let loose with an aggravated swear however, a very familiar voice finally piped up softly.
"Uh…Frankie?" Mac asked softly.
"Oh, Mac!" the redhead gasped in relief at the sound of her "little brother's" voice, all her previous rage instantly draining away.
"Frankie, I'm so sorry about bothering you like this," Mac apologized profusely. "I'm gonna try and make this real quick though, ok? Could you please…"
"Oh God Mac, it's terrible!" Frankie blurted out uncontrollably into her phone.
"Wait, what?" came the confused reply. "Wait, Frankie, what are-"
"He's so arrogant…won't shut up about…that smell, that awful smell….just what is that?" Frankie babbled uncontrollably, unable to speak in anything more than barely comprehensible fragments. "Calls me…won't stop calling me ba-…biggest gutter mouth I ever…and he's…unstoppable! So unstoppable! Won't even…didn't care that…didn't even flinch when I…I…"
Her chaotic rant came to a halt as Frankie trailed off. As she paused to catch her breath after her frenzied outburst, all that could be heard again from the other line was another period of dead, awkward silence. Finally though, after what felt life an eternity,
"Ummmm, Frankie?" Mac whispered, his voice now thick with caution and bewilderment. "Do you think you could, uh, y'know, er…do you know where my jacket is? I can't find it anywhere."
"Oh…oh! Right! Um, your jacket? Yeah, um…I think it's in one of the dryers, so maybe you should…wait, no! Actually, I think I hung it up in your closet after it was dried. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's in there." Frankie replied dumbly.
"Oh. Okay, thanks." Mac dutifully thanked her in compliance. After another five-second pause, he asked warily,
"Uh, I didn't exactly catch what you were saying before. "Are you okay, Frankie?"
Frankie just sighed painfully as she wearily leaned against a nearby stall. "No, no, it's alright. Never mind, Mac, I'll be fine. I'll see you when I get back home, ok?"
"Yeah, sure. Bye, Frankie!"
"Bye, pal. See you later." She murmured somberly in reply. With another exasperated groan, Frankie gathered up her purse and plodded towards the restroom door, muttering darkly under her breath.
"That is unless I don't try and stab myself with my chopsticks first."
"…I'm telling you guys, she sounded really upset." Mac complained glumly, as he sat around a board game in Foster's spacious living room, along with three assorted imaginary friends.
"Coco cococo?" Coco squawked worriedly in her bizarre lingo.
Mac shook his head as he began to shake a pair of dice. "No, it wasn't just me, Frankie really sounded like she was having a bad time tonight."
"Oh no! You don't think…" Wilt partially suggested before he quickly clamped a spindly hand over his mouth. Mac shot the lanky imaginary friend a quizzical look.
"You don't think what?" the boy asked with a hint of suspicion in his voice. Sighing heavily, the supernaturally polite Wilt had no choice but to answer.
"Well, Frankie's last couple of dates didn't turn out too well either, and every one of those ended badly because…well…I'm sorry Mac, but you know…"
"Hold on," Mac suddenly cut him off as he released the dice from his hands into the game board. "Seven!"
"Oh no!" Bloo cried in horror, waving his little blue arms wildly in the air. "You sunk my battleship!"
As Wilt and Coco shot the little imaginary friend a pair of confused stares, Mac sighed heavily in exasperation as he rolled his eyes.
"Bloo, for the fourth time, we're playing Monopoly." He groaned as he moved his game piece.
"Oh, yeah. Um, I knew that! What do you think I am, stupid?" his imaginary friend snapped in reply. "Aha! Baltic Avenue! Payday, baby! Whoo!"
"So anyway," Mac turned back to Wilt as he handed over the proper sum of fake money. "Well, yeah, I know that. That's not a big deal with me anymore. But actually, that's kind of what's got me worried in the first place."
Wilt cocked his head in confusing. "Sorry Mac, but you lost me there."
"Coco!" the part bird, part plant, part plane imaginary friend chirped in agreement.
"Well, it's sort of tough to explain. It's just that when Frankie was talking to me, she was sounding really freaked-out and kind of desperate. I mean, when I asked her how it was going, she just kinda went off, and even though I really didn't understand most of what she said…"
"Yeah?"
"…Um…from what I got, I think by the time I called her, she had already told her date about me." He put rather innocently.
"Oh man…" Wilt gasped, clapping a hand to his forehead. Coco responded in an equally surprised manner, drawing in a sharp intake of breath.
Bloo however didn't quite understand the urgency of the situation. "What's the big deal? So Frankie's finally found a guy who doesn't care that she has to look after you. Look, I really don't see what's so bad-"
"You don't see what's so bad?" Mac cried frantically, throwing his arms up in the air. "Look, just because he cares about me doesn't automatically mean that Frankie's gonna-"
"She's not really too fond of this guy, is he?" Wilt asked gently. The eight-year-old sighed painfully.
"Not just that. Like I said, I didn't exactly understand what she told me, but she sounded really, really desperate. I think she wants out of this relationship, fast."
"Pfft! I still don't see what's the problem!" Bloo scoffed. "So it's just another date gone down the toilet, who cares? When they come back, I'll just hide in the bushes with a hammer, and-"
"Bloo, you can't solve every problem by taking apart the car of every guy Frankie comes into contact with!" Mac snapped irritably at his best friend.
"Oh…right, uh, "take apart his car"…sure…" Bloo laughed nervously. Mac just stared blankly at the apprehensive imaginary friend for a second before shaking his head wearily.
"I don't wanna know, I really don't wanna know…" he muttered ruefully under his breath.
"Coco coco co cococo!" Coco suddenly stood up and squawked excitedly. At this suggestion Wilt immediately smiled warmly and nodded in assent.
"Hey, yeah! Mac, we don't need to try and think of something up. Frankie can just take care of this herself, she doesn't need our help. When her date drops her off, she'll just tell him that she doesn't-"
"But…but…" Mac immediately protested, not completely convinced. "But we don't know that that'll work for sure! I mean, this guy is supposedly completely fine with me, yet Frankie sounded like she was the worst time of her life! It just doesn't seem right, that's all." He grumbled, folding his arms in a huff.
"Okay, Mr. Smartypants. What do you think we should do?" Bloo asked dryly.
"I don't…I…well, we could…no, wait…"
After stammering for a good minute or so, Mac suddenly rose to his feet and began to make a beeline for the door.
"I don't know…I just don't know." He said somberly as he exited into the hallway. As Wilt and Coco worriedly watched the child leave in such a pathetic fashion, Bloo focused his attention back to the game as he grabbed for the dice.
"Okay, my turn now!" he whooped excitedly. "C'mon Lady Luck, show me what you got!"
With that he hurled the dice upon the board, revealing a pair of threes.
"Yessss!" the little imaginary friend cheered ecstatically, pumping his fist wildly. "Two threes! Alright, that's a double word score!"
Laughing fiendishly in delight, Bloo seemed to pull a little sack out of nowhere from which he enthusiastically began to unload a pile Scrabble tiles onto the board.
"Hey, hey! Monopoly, Bloo, for the last time! Monopoly!" Wilt cried as he made a desperate dive to save his hotels on Illinois Avenue.
"Coco! Cococo!"
Murmuring ruefully under his breath, Mac plodded out into the foyer, pausing to stare outside one of the windows overlooking the front lawn and trying to get his thoughts together.
He didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. The child couldn't help it, but unfortunately, he held a dark suspicion that they were dealing with a complete sleazeball here. Why else would Frankie be panicking wildly that he didn't care she held legal custody of an eight-year-old kid? She hadn't brought that up out of pure honesty, though. She told the truth as part of a desperate chance to escape.
Unfortunately, from what Mac understood, that attempt had been made completely in vain. It didn't matter whether he brushed it off or ignored it entirely, this guy had probably reacted the way Mac thought he reacted for a reason, a reason that made the child feel a bit queasy when he tried to think about it. This guy wasn't stopping at anything, he had his eyes in the prize and he wasn't going to let anything get in his way.
Mac groaned wearily. For the first time in his life, he desperately wished that Frankie's date would reject her like all the others, all because the young woman had to take care of her "little brother." But if that wasn't going to scare him off, what possibly could make him keep his distance? Mac in no way wanted to do something to harm the young man, he just wanted to chase him off. But how? If the guy didn't care that Frankie had a "little brother to look after, then what in the world could frighten him away? What was possibly worse than-
Mac's train of though came to a crashing halt as an idea suddenly popped into his mind. After thinking furiously about it for a few moments, a mischievous smirk began to makes it's appearance as the boy sniggered fiendishly to himself.
"Okay, so he doesn't care that Frankie has a little brother. Fine! But let's just see what he does what he finds out what else she has…"
With a devilish snicker, Mac sauntered off upstairs to his bedroom. It looked like he had a lot of rehearsing to accomplish if this was going to be done right.
"Here we are, babe! Nine o'clock and you're back at home, just as promised!" Nick announced with a stupid grin, as if he expected to be showered with praise for this simple task.
Rather than remind him that he had actually promised to have her back at Foster's by eight, Frankie only nodded furiously as she made a mad grab for the door handle, a frighteningly forced smile smeared across her features.
"Ha ha, well thanks a lot I really had a nice time but I guess I better get going so good night!" she babbled uncontrollably as she grappled furiously with her door, wanting nothing more than to flee into the refuge of her home as soon as possible.
"Aw, what's the matter babe?" Nick laughed as he placed a hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture, despite the fact it only made the frantic young woman flinch in disgust. "Stuck door?"
After making a few more feeble attempts to free herself, Frankie finally ceased her efforts and slumped wearily in her seat.
"Yes." She whimpered unhappily.
"Well what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't give my lady a helping hand? Hold on, I think I can get it from the outside." Her date chuckled as he climbed out of the vehicle and began to make his way to her side.
Her heart pounding wildly in her chest, Frankie wrung her hands nervously as her mind became a chaotic frenzy of bitter anger and panic.
Ooooooh, that slimy jerk! She cursed mentally to herself. Stuck door my ass! I was able to get out through it perfectly fine when we arrived at the restaurant! The scumbag kept it locked on purpose, I just know it!
Frankie's wildly beating heart only seemed to double in speed as the object of her loathing and fear arrived at her side. After flashing her an arrogant smile, he rubbed his hands together and began to make a great show of effort as he "pulled" furiously at the "jammed" door.
Yeah right, buddy, I'm not falling for it! Oh God, what am I going to do? Should I just run? Do I just try and talk my way out of it? Am I gonna have to force my way by? For Pete's sake, I don't want to punch out a guy just to get into my own home! What do I do? What do I do? Oh God, oh God, oh God…
As her mind became a whirlpool of turmoil and confusion, Nick finally let the door open with a grunt.
"Argh! Oh yeah, there we go! Good thing I've been working out, haven't I? You could've been stuck in there all night!" he cracked lamely in a pathetic attempt to show off his strength and sense of humor.
"Heh heh, um, yeah, sure." Frankie forced herself to chuckle weakly in response. "Well thanks a lot! Now since we got that out of the way, why don't I just-"
Nick only continued to smirk stupidly as he held out his hand, or rather practically shoved it in her face. Trying her hardest not to gag in disgust, Frankie forced herself to grab onto it and allow herself to be "helped" up from her seat.
"There we go, baby-doll! All set! Now how about-"
"Okay, thanks for everything I'll give you a call sometime well goodnight!" Frankie blurted the second her feet came in contact as she attempted to make a mad dash through the gated entrance into Foster's, left open specifically just for her. Unfortunately through, her frenzied push to escape only got her a few feet before Nick easily pulled her back to him like a yo-yo with a swift tug.
"Now where do you think you're going, honey?" he purred as he stroked her hair. Recoiling slightly, Frankie reapplied on her forced smile one final time in a last-ditch effort to solve her dilemma peacefully.
"Nick, I'm actually not feeling too well, I think I should-"
"Oh man, you mean you can't even stay a few minutes to "talk?" C'mon, babe." He laughed, giving her a wink. Frankie quickly had to bite down on her lip in response, desperately trying to suppress the swift urge to shriek at the top of her lungs and gag violently at the exact same time.
"Please Nick, I just want to-" she continued to plead desperately, her body quivering in impatience.
"Are sure, Frankie pie? Just stay a little longer, that's all I ask." Nick said as he tried to flash her a reassuring smile, which actually made him resemble a preying shark more than anything. At this Frankie clamped down on her purse furiously, using every bit of willpower she had to restrain herself from letting fly with a swift punch to his gut. She had to get out, fast, or this was about to get really ugly.
"Nick, please!" she implored desperately. "I just want to-"
Before she could get any further, the pair was suddenly roughly interrupted as the front doors of the old Victorian mansion burst open, letting loose a little brown-haired blur who blasted outside like a miniature cannonball. Leaping down the porch stairs in one dazzling leap, Mac hit they ground running the instant his feet came in contact with the cement walkway. Giggling uncontrollably, arms open wide and a ridiculously happy smile plastered across his features, the child dashed headlong towards the couple at a dizzying pace that would've left children twice his age in the dust.
Starring dumbly in befuddlement at the mysterious child racing towards them, very much in the manner of a deer staring at a set of headlights, Nick managed to shoot Frankie a very confused glance.
"Uh…babe? Who the hell is that?" he asked quite bluntly.
Frankie, however, failed completely to reply to his grunted inquiry. Instead, she too just stared stupidly at Mac as the eight-year-old continued his way in their direction, face distorted in complete befuddlement as she frantically tried to figure out exactly what was going on.
"Mac…?" She whispered under her breath to herself in total disbelief at the boy's outrageously confusing behavior. "What on earth are you…"
"MOMMY!" Mac squealed in delight as he came to an instant halt, wrapping his little arms around the lanky redhead's legs in a warm hug. Giggling uncontrollably like an overexcited toddler, he glanced up into a very surprised Frankie's eyes adoringly.
"How was your date, Mommy? Huh? Did you have a nice night? Did you? Did you bring anything home for me? Did you, Mommy?" the eight-year-old gushed ecstatically, clamping onto the girl like a magnet on a refrigerator. "Oh, Mommy!" he cried happily in a sickeningly cutesy manner.
As his tenaciously loving hold on her grew tighter by the moment, an intensely stunned Frankie wobbled back and forth as she struggled to keep her balance under Mac's vice-like embrace on her. At the same time, she tried furiously to gather her scattered thoughts together, Mac's words throwing her completely of guard and perplexing her to the fullest extent possible. As the boy continued to cuddle her legs contentedly, emitting little squeaks of joy, Frankie blushed a deep crimson in mortified embarrassment.
"Mac…please…what are you…why…what do you think you're…" she struggled furiously to comprehend the bizarre turn of events, but it was of no use. The baffled young woman could utter little more than nonsensical sentence fragments, putting her in a rather humiliating condition that only caused her to darken her blush.
"Nick…oh my God…I'm so sorry…" she mumbled a stuttered apology as she frantically tried to remove Mac from her, despite the fact it was the basic equivalent of trying to force an oak tree out of the ground by hand. "Please, I don't know what on earth has gotten…into…"
Frankie trailed off as she glanced back to her date. "Uh, Nick?" she whispered worriedly. "You okay?"
It was an unusual sight that met her glance. Standing stock still, his face suddenly a sickeningly pale white, Nick resembled a grotesque statue as he stared wordlessly at Mac with eyes that looked like they were ready to bulge out of their sockets. Only after a few moments of this shock-induced paralysis though, the young man's limply hanging jaw began to move as he made an effort to speak. His first few efforts only ended in queer, barely audible gasping squeaks, but finally, after at least a minute of pathetic attempts, Nick managed to finally choke out a semi-comprehensible message to his not-as-quite stunned date.
"Frankie…did he just…did he…he didn't…oh God…he did, didn't he…" he stuttered uncontrollably. Still blushing furiously, Frankie struggled to answer, but all she could come up with was an equally unintelligible response.
"I don't know what…well, I…he…I tried to tell…" she stammered fervently. Raising a badly quivering arm, Nick pointed accusingly at the frazzled young woman.
"You…you hid this…you hid this all from me…" he whispered in disbelief at Frankie's stuttered excuse. "Why didn't you tell me that you had-"
Unfortunately, he was unable to utter a single word more when the unthinkable was emitted from Mac's mouth.
"Mommy, is he going to be my new daddy?" he asked with all the innocence of a young child.
That was it.
Desperately trying to stifle a scream of unfathomable horror, the mortified young man immediately whirled about and dashed to his car as if he was fleeing the Devil himself rather than a twenty-two-year-old young woman an eight-year-old boy. His breath coming in ragged sobs, the panic-stricken Nick didn't even pause to open his car door, choosing instead to make a desperate dive through a rolled-down window in his blind terror. Only moments after clambering frantically into the driver's seat, the ignition started up and with the screech of tires the car blasted off down the road, traveling as fast as the engine's capacity allowed it to go.
It had been the work of a matter of mere seconds. In less than a moment, Frankie and Mac were left all alone in the gateway of Foster's, staring jointly down the street in the direction in which the terrified young man had just made a mad retreat. Finally though, after a few moments of dead silence, Frankie slowly lowered her head to peer down at the child still clinging tightly to her legs.
"Mac…" she whispered in compete awe. "You just…I can't believe you…"
Upon seeing the utterly stunned look upon her features, Mac immediately wiped away his phony smile and quickly withdrew from his hold on his big sister. After cautiously backing away a few steps, he grinned nervously as he scuffed the ground with his sneaker.
"Well…you seemed so upset over the phone…and you already said that he didn't care that…so I…" he tried to stammer out an excuse.
"Pal…I don't know what to say…"
"Since you're at a loss for words, then may I have a word with the miscreant?" someone suddenly demanded sternly with a thick British accent. Quickly both boy and girl glanced up in unison to meet eye to eye with a very grim-looking Mr. Herriman, hurriedly hopping his way towards them while muttering fervently under his breath.
"Never in all my years would I have expected it…such an outrage…oooh, if you think you can get away with this…" he grumbled angrily.
"Um, excuse me?" Mac asked as innocently as possible, instinctively scooting back to Frankie's side.
"Do you take me for a fool?" Mr. Herriman barked irritably as he came to a sudden halt, his outburst causing the boy to flinch slightly. "If you think you can try and sway me with such a feeble attempt at feigning guiltlessness, then you're quite mistaken, you rascal!"
"Mr. Herriman., wait…" a still-disorientated Frankie tried to speak up, but she was quickly cut off with a wave of a gloved hand.
"Although I appreciate your attempt, there is absolutely no need to explain what happened here, Miss Frances." Mr. Herriman replied with a furious shake of his head before he appointed accusingly at Mac.
"I saw the entire thing from an upstairs window!" he announced bitterly. "Master Mac, there is no way in which you can convince me that the misdeed which took place here but a minute ago was not of your own doing!"
"Mr. Herriman, please!" Mac tried to plead, but it was of little avail. The aggravated rabbit simply continued with the verbal lashing, striking out with everything he had both as furiously yet as eloquently as possible.
"Master Mac, I'm shocked!" he yelled in an appalled manner. "To think that you were but a model of perfect obedience and reasoning! Yet while on my way downstairs to the library, it is you that I spot red-handed committing an act of abominable atrociousness! Oh my word, how could you?" he demanded, glaring angrily at the boy. Not expecting to receive such harsh treatment, Mac quickly wilted under the tongue-lashing..
"Please…I can explain-"
"Oho, I'd like to see you just try and do that!" Herriman scoffed, folding his arms. "It's no use, to repeat myself I saw the whole thing quite clearly! Just as when Miss Frances is returning after a pleasant evening to herself, you have to dash out like a lunatic and frighten off her suitor in such a manner I still don't understand how you pulled it off!" he roared. "Well, what is it? What did you say? What on earth could you say to scare that poor young man half to death?"
"I…"I…"
"I see." The aged rabbit said sternly, narrowing his eyes. "Tough enough to scare the wits out of Miss Frances's courtiers, but not enough to stand up to some plain, old-fashioned discipline, aren't you? Well?"
"Mr. Herriman!" Frankie cried, appalled by the lack of mercy the authoritarian imaginary friend was showing. "Look, I know it looks bad, but if you'd just let me-"
"Hmm? Oh yes, excellent suggestion, Miss Frances!" Mr. Herriman said with a furious nod. "You must be simply crushed by the flagrant misbehaving that took place in front of your own eyes!"
"Wait, what? No! I-"
"Who better than to properly discipline our troublemaker properly than the victim herself? Of course, your legal guardianship oh the child should also provide you with more than the sufficient amount of clout you'll be needing to take care of our ruffian." Mr. Herriman announced resolutely. Both Mac and Frankie just starred at him blankly in utter befuddlement.
"Wait, what?" Mac cried confusedly.
"Hey, if you'd just give me a few moments-" Frankie desperately tried to protest.
"Oh, I think you'll be needing more than a few moments if you're to teach a proper lesson to this scoundrel!" Mr. Herriman huffed, shooting another austere look at Mac.
"Hold on, I just-"
"Miss Frances, as Master Mac is your charge, I order that you discipline the boy immediately for what he has done!" came the firm reply.
At this strict order, Frankie and Mac immediately looked to one another, both their faces marked by the mystification of what they were to do now. However, only after a few moments of uncertainty, an idea suddenly popped into Frankie's mind.
"Oh…oh! Oh yeah, right Mr. H!" she nodded furiously to her boss before narrowing her eyes as she glanced back to the Mac, glaring at him as sternly as she could.
"You are in soooo much trouble, mister!" she growled, wagging a finger at him.
"Frankie wait, I just-" Mac tried to defend himself but his plea was lost upon the austere-looking redhead. Frankie just shook her head resolutely.
"Oh no you don't! Mac, how could you do such a thing to your own big sister?" Frankie demanded angrily.
"I just-"
"Such awful, awful things!" the girl continued, seemingly appalled. "I thought Nick was going to have a heart attack! Where on earth did you learn such nasty words? Certainly not in this house, I hope!" she cried, placing her hands at her hips and shooting the boy an even harsher glare.
"Aw, c'mon!" Mac whined. "Frankie, I was-"
Before he could get much further, Frankie squatted down to his level and grabbed him by the shoulders so that the pair was eye to eye.
"No excuses!" she snarled. "Mac, I simply just can't believe what you did tonight! You've really in for it this time! You are so going to get it? Do you hear me?"
For a moment Mac seemed paralyzed with fright, unsure of how to respond. Fortunately however, just before he felt like he was going to faint, he suddenly spotted the secretive wink the girl passed him.
"I said, did you hear me, Mac Foster?" Frankie asked again, this time with the hint of a sly grin on her face. After staring at her mutely in dumb silence for a moment, it all finally clicked inside his brain, and immediately the boy responded with a wink of his own.
"Oh no!" Mac cried in mock horror, joining her in the act. "Please! Please Frankie, don't! Don't! Anything but that!" he wailed pathetically, making it look as if he was trying squirm free from the girl's hold in a desperate attempt to escape. "Frankie, don't! I'll be good, I promise! I'll do the dishes for a week, I'll wash the bus, I'll clean up the rooms! Please don't punish me! I'll be good, I'll be good!" he insisted frantically.
"Pfft, yeah right!" Frankie scoffed before grabbing him roughly by his shirt collar. With one swift tug she forced the eight-year-old to stumble along with her in a pitiful manner as she dragged him up towards the house.
"No, Frankie, don't! Please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Mac apologized profusely. "Where are you taking me?"
"I'm going inside right this instant to get the keys for Grandma's car." Frankie growled flatly in what she hoped was a convincingly threatening fashion. "When I do, we're going for a little "ride" together, just you and me. And believe me, we're not coming back until we've sorted this all out properly. Do you hear me, young man?"
"AUGH! Nononononononono…" the eight-year-old squealed in protest as he was dragged off, lamenting like a convicted prisoner being led off to the gallows. As the pair made their way inside, Mr. Herriman watched them disappear into the house, a look of grim satisfaction adorning the aged disciplinarian's features.
"Excellent! Good that she's finally taking some initiative with the child! I do hope that she gives him exactly what he deserves!"
"Alright! Chocolate, my favorite!" Mac whooped as Frankie handed him his milkshake. "Thanks Frankie!" he chirped happily as he took the frozen dairy treat into his hands. Smiling warmly, Frankie rustled the boy's hair affectionately as she seated herself next to him.
"Drink up, pal, you deserve it." She chuckled as she began to slurp down her own vanilla milkshake noisily.
Rather than be driving about in the middle of the lecture of the century, the pair was seated comfortably on the hood of Madame Foster's sleek black mustang, contentedly gulping the treats Frankie had just purchased from the small ice cream shop they were parked nearby.
"Hey Mac, when did we leave the house?" the girl inquired. The child quickly checked his wristwatch in compliance.
"Um, maybe about ten or fifteen minutes ago. Why?"
"We're probably gonna have to stay out at least another twenty if the rabbit's gonna believe that I "punished," you properly, right?" the girl said with a grin. Mac smiled back as he nodded furiously in agreement.
"Heh heh, yeah. Um, Frankie?" the boy asked her apprehensively, his grin quickly disappearing from his face.
"Yeah, Mac?" Frankie replied absentmindedly, gazing up at the night sky. As soon as he had her attention, the boy chuckled nervously as he went on.
"I, uh…well…I kinda wanted to talk about why I…um, y'know, why tonight I kinda…er…I never really got to explain to you why…" he stammered uncontrollably as he tried to account for himself.
At this, Frankie glanced back to Mac, her face full of concern. "Pal? You okay?"
"Well, yeah. It's just that I…I want to…uh, you see, after I called you…I…."
"Oh, right. That. We haven't really talked about it yet, have we? You know," she began, narrowing her eyelids, "I've actually been meaning to talk to you about that too. Mac Foster…"she began sternly, looking as if she was about to launch into the lecture of a lifetime. As soon as Mac flinched warily under her gaze though, the entire think quickly proved to be a playful ruse as the biggest smile he had even seen swept across the redhead's face.
"…You were fantastic tonight!" she gushed happily, placing her drink aside to throw her arms open wide and wrap the boy in a crushing bear hug. "Oh geez, thank you sooo much Mac! Thank you! Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…" the overjoyed girl praised him ecstatically, causing Mac to blush a little.
"C'mon, it was nothing…" he whispered modestly. "I just wanted to…"
"Oh, no way pal!" Frankie cut him off. "Nothing my butt! Oh my God, this was the nightmare of all dates! I swear, I would've gone absolutely insane if it wasn't for you! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Hey, knock it off! Quit it!" Mac laughed as the young woman showered his cheeks with a salvo of sloppy kisses. "Knock it off, please! Ew, you know I don't like that!"
"Ha! You wish!" Frankie giggled like a schoolgirl as she held on tightly to the squirming child. "Mac, I'm soooo proud of you right now! The way you figured out…and you knew that a lot of guys didn't like that fact that…and you actually had the guts to…oh, I can't thank you enough, pal!"
"Well, you just seemed so upset over the phone…and you said you already told him you had a little brother, so I just thought if that didn't work…" Mac replied innocently.
"You thought up "is he going to be my new daddy?"…hee hee! Oh you little devil!" Frankie laughed, nuzzling him affectionately. "Great job, tonight pal! You were wonderful! We gotta remember that one for next time. Wait, I mean…"
Frankie frowned slightly as she immediately loosened her hold on him. "That is, only if it's okay with you, pal, just in case this is gonna happen again. I mean, not like I'm probably gonna be meeting a guy like that again anytime soon, but…y'know, just in case…" she trailed off, glancing worriedly at the small child.
Rather than protest loudly or even glare at her in disgust, Mac just grinned warmly. "Just give me a call, and I'll be ready."
"Aw, thanks pal." Frankie laughed as she put him into a tighter loving squeeze. "You're the best, you know that?"
"Frankie…c'mon…" Mac replied as his blushed only darkened in shade, but her nevertheless tried returned her hug with a bashful smile. "Just tryin' to help out my big sister…"
"Aw, you." Frankie cooed as she gave him another gentle nuzzle. A few seconds later, however, Frankie swiftly withdrew her hold as she began to babble excitedly to the young boy.
"Okay, so what's the plan for next time? We got the basic structure set up, but it kinda needs somethin' to back it up, you know? I was such dead weight out there tonight." She gushed enthusiastically as if she as talking about performing in a Broadway play. "I gotta say somethin' too, just to make it more realistic y'know."
"Frankie, I don't think we need to-" Mac unsuccessfully tried to protest.
"I got it!" the girl cried, snapping her fingers excitedly. "Okay, so we get home, you come running out, do your whole bit, and then I'll say this; there I was, a naïve young fourteen-year-old in my freshman year of high school. It was the night of the Homecoming Dance, and…" she began to falsely reminisce in a humorously dreamy fashion.
"Ewwww!" Mac grimaced in repugnance, sticking out his tongue. "Gross! Oh, sick Frankie! Yuck!"
"Aw c'mon, there's nothing wrong with a little elaboration…" Frankie joked with a hint of a sinister grin, nudging him playfully.
"No way, no way!" Mac refused, shaking his head wildly. "That is taking it way too far! Oh, gross! No way we're going to start using any of that! Ewww!"
As the eight-year-old cringed in disgust, Frankie tossed back her head and laughed uproariously at his reaction before giving him a reassuring pat on the head.
"Okay, okay pal. You win." She giggled. "If we're even forced to go through tongiht again, we'll just stick to the basics, 'k? I promise."
"Thank you." Mac sighed as he turned his attention back to his milkshake. However, as soon as he took a sip, a mischievous smile suddenly plastered itself to Frankie's face as she whispered slyly,
"But then again though, we can get a pretty juicy story out of this." She said with a fiendish chuckle. "How old is Bloo, again? Five, right? Hey, maybe we can spice it up next time by giving you a baby brother…or a twin…"
Her timing had the desired effect. The moment she spoke the utterly unthinkable, Mac immediately snorted uncontrollably as soon as the absolutely ludicrous idea entered his mind, the shock taking him off guard and forcing his last sip of milkshake to go the wrong way in his system.
"EWWWWWW!" he squealed unhappily. "No way! No, no, no, no! If you even think that I'm gonna-oh! Oh! GROSS!" Mac whined as he clamped a hand over his face. "Yuck! I think some of it just came out of my nose! Ew! Ew!"
Shaking uncontrollably with mirth at the ridiculous sight, Frankie jokingly sighed in mock exasperation as she reached for some spare napkins nearby.
"Oh Mac," She laughed. "I guess a mother's work is never-"
"FRAAAANKIEEEEE!"
The End
Okay, there you go! What'd everyone think? C'mon, be honest!
Yeah, I know the whole thing seems kinda random, but like I said before, I have a lot of fun writing thesekooky typesof one-shots.
I'm not too sure what I'm gonna do now. I'm not sure whether if I'm going to do more one-shots, or try my hand at another multi-chapter story (although what that's gonna be about, I have no idea yet). Also, at the same time I'm deciding whether I'm gonna stick to my own little Foster's universe here, or try and write a fic outside of my self-created realm. Only time will tell, I guess!
Thanks so much, everyone! Please Review!
-Dude13
