It was quiet that night. He sat on a ledge and tried to think. He closed his eyes. Dark.
Nothing came, then...
Static.
I'm a SOLDIER.
That was it.
He got up and went back to the golden light through the windows. They were waiting for him.
---
"Cloud."
Static.
"Cloud!"
He lifted his head. It was Aeris. What was she wearing...? A silky blue evening gown.
She did a twirl. Her hair swished. Her ankle rose as she came to a stop.
"So, how do I look?" she asked with a nod.
Cloud raised his shoulders, slowly outstretching his palms. He too wore a dress.
"I don't care," he said, shaking his head. "Once I get my money, I'm out of here."
---
Quiet, mystical, peaceful. A church in the slums. Light shined through the hole his ass had made in the roof.
...His ass? He held the sides of his head as it grew loud, painful.
Ringing.
"Mister!"
Static.
"Hey, mister!"
He stumbled back and blinked with fuzzy eyes at two pleasant little children.
"We've been taking care of the pretty lady's flowers!" the little girl said.
He stared at her.
"Do you know when she's coming back?" the little boy said.
Cloud nodded.
"Aeris is gone," he said. "She'll no longer talk, or laugh, or cry... or get angry again..."
---
Glittering lights and magnificent sculptures defined the recreational paradise, the Gold Saucer.
His memories were dim... he was walking toward the entrance, slowly.
A shadow of him.
Static.
Cloud shook his head.
"...I didn't go there."
---
A bold spotlight encompassed the action as he tore through a herd of feeble foes. Left, right, his sword smashed each apart in turn.
They were penguins.
"Great job!" a voice came at him in a deep echo.
He huffed in disappointment. This was too easy.
"Do you want to continue?" he was asked.
He raised his head. "Off course."
"...What was that?" the voice asked hesitantly.
He scratched his head. "No, way?"
"..."
Cloud received a consolation prize: Tissue!
He looked it over. It was a Tissue.
---
The airship was rattling. It rattled a lot. Yuffie paced and put her hands over her head, her footsteps clanging on steel.
He spotted her and walked over as she bent over, knees shaking, holding her stomach.
"Ugh... I'm gonna be sick! I can't take this!" she whined.
He stopped in front of her and leaned down, peering into her face. Motion sickness. He'd been there.
He could see it.
White.
There he was, feeling that van bounce along. The others were there. He was rocking and writhing.
Was that him...?
Static.
Her eyes were wide on him. He stared at her.
"Listen, Yuffie. I don't care about the history of Wutai, or your feelings."
---
Everyone was on the bridge of the airship, front and center. They had been through so much, but they were still standing. Their faces were serious and full of hope.
"Awright, everyone," Barret said, flailing his arms for whatever reason. "I know we been through a lotta $#! together...
He pointed at everyone with erratic gestures. No one felt threatened by the gun being pointed at their faces. "An' we gotta keep goin'! It ain't over, and there ain't no getting' offa this train we're on!"
He hammered his fist in the air a few times. "Whaddaya say?!" he asked and then crossed his arms, tapping his foot and listening with a cocked head.
Tifa looked at Cloud and at Cid, then Barret. "So are we still terrorists, or what?" she asked.
---
He walked into a small room. In the middle of the floor, he lost his balance and collapsed to his knees, then slumped over onto his side. His head was pounding. He tried to open his eyes, but all he saw was white.
"Hey! It's me again, huh?"
He looked around. Everything was black now.
"Who?"
"That doesn't matter. Anyway, what do you think YOU'RE doing?"
He thought about it.
"I wasn't really sure."
"That's what I thought! Geez, you're hopeless."
He put his hand on his face and sighed.
"I don't need to be lectured by you."
"Why can't you just admit when you need help?"
He shook his head.
"It's not that simple."
A childlike version of himself approached. It leaned forward with its arms behind its back.
"Just be yourself!"
"That's what I was going to do. And here you are, giving me shit for it."
The child hopped.
"That's what I do!"
Cloud shrugged slowly.
"Not anymore."
He reached for his sword and drew it from his back, fingers twisting around tightly.
"You don't want to do that."
Cloud shook in laughter. He held his hand out, turned his head to one side. It felt so familiar.
Who did it? He tried to think.
Ringing.
Sephiroth.
"Do you even think at all anymore?!"
Cloud's shoulders eased back and he stared upward, searching.
"...Yeah."
Sometimes.
Static.
His sword was above his head now.
"I don't really know what the hell you want," he said. "I'm just going to end it like this."
The child looked up, too mystified to be afraid.
"Isn't this just like the cake?"
He froze.
Why did those words hit so deep?
What happened to the cake?
White.
It was my first day as a SOLDIER...
Static.
...No. As a nobody.
The images were gray, but there they were. Cloud in a military barracks, walking down the hall.
"Hey, new guy!" a man in uniform screamed, flailing his fist forward indicatively.
Cloud stood before him in rigid posture, saluting.
"Oh, knock that off..." the man told him. "Look, I just wanted to tell you. I baked a cake for my mother in Junon. It's her birthday tomorrow, so you'd better not touch it!"
Cloud shrugged slowly and walked off.
I just shrugged at the guy and walked off.
Basically. Then Cloud went to the mess hall.
I looked around. I didn't even notice it at first. It was on the counter.
Cloud walked up to the cake and studied it with a blank face.
...It was just a stupid cake. It's not like I wanted any.
"God..." Cloud said in disdain. "It must take forever to make something like this. What a waste of time."
Static.
But then, I don't know what happened... just that I woke up on the floor.
The door burst open. It was Sephiroth.
"My God, Cloud... what have you done?!"
He ran over. Cloud began to laugh quietly.
"This cake..."
That cake...
"...It had to
It had to
die."
die.
...How did I do that?
Things returned to black. The boy still stared up at Cloud, unmoving.
"Does that mean it's over, Cloud?"
Cloud sat down, legs splayed, hands on his head, staring off absently.
He nodded.
"...Yeah."
The boy leaned forward and tilted his head.
"Then..."
Cloud lied down and closed his eyes.
"...I'll see you next time."
"...Yeah. Next time."
Everything slowly turned white, brighter than the sun. Then, things were normal. A loud banging sound stirred Cloud, and he lifted his head slowly off the tile floor.
"Arrrggghh!! Dammit!" Cid screamed, shaking the locked bathroom door wildly.
He grabbed the seat of his pants and ran in place, grinding his teeth.
"Every time he spends for-fuckin'-ever in there!!"