Chapter Seven: Silent Tears

"Cristina, hurry up," Meredith said, scratching the top of her bare left foot with her right, her $500 Prada Pumps in her hand.

"Jesus, Mere. I have a baby playing kickball on my bladder here, and my uterus is freaking huge. I'm freaking HUGE!" was the passionate response from behind the door.

"Cristina?" A male voice asked, or stated. It was hard to tell. The tall figure leaned against the wall casually, as if everyday he ran into the woman who ran away from him, and broke his heart.

"Derek, please." Meredith whispered frantically. "Not here. I'm here strictly for Izzy, not to play catch-up with you. My friends need me."

"Your friends? The ones you so cruelly abandoned and ran away from, just like," he paused, breathing in deep. "Just like you did to me?"

"Derek, you have no right to accuse me of these things. It was ten years ago, leave it alone. It's history." Meredith sighed heavily, and rubbed her eyes wearily, and brushed the hair out of her eyes absently.

"Can't I at least talk to you, for five minutes? Don't you think you owe me that?" He questioned, running his hands though his hair, and then scratching the side of his face, where short black hair tinged with a few stray greys were sprouting, his signature very sexy man scruff.

"Derek, can you honestly say that I owe you anything? You broke me heart, you chose Addison over me, and then you broke up with her. While putting me on the spot? I had just gotten to the pint where I could stand in a room with you, without wanting to cry, scream, laugh, or run up and kiss you, and then you do that to me? I had to leave Seattle. I had to."

"Please, just five minutes? If nothing can't we at least talk like civilized people, for five, mundane minutes?" Meredith finally relented, and followed Derek outside, onto the stone patio in the backyard, and onto the lawn, before finally coming to a stop near the side of the red-brick house, under the shade of a cypress tree.

"Okay, what did you so desperately want to talk about? You have four minutes." Meredith said, unkindly.

"Jesus, must you be so bitter and angry?" Derek asked, and when he saw the pissed, impatient look on Meredith's face, he knew that she wasn't going to soften up anytime soon.

"Okay, well maybe a little resentment is deserved. But, how has your life been?"

"It's been good. As I said before, I'm married, to and Ad-Exec, of all things. He's a workaholic, but he makes good money and he enjoys what he does. We have two kids together- Caleb and Kaela, Caleb's five, and starting kindergarten in the fall, and Kaela is only three. They're both at home, sick with nasty coughs, and Hayden is taking care of them, as well as his mom Marie. I opened my own practice, and I have four partners, one is an ear-nose-throat specialist, another is a paediatrician, and another is a neurologist. I became an OB/GYN after I left Seattle. My practice is a family practice, for everyone in the family can get taken care of at one place."

Derek nodded, listening intently. "But," he questioned "are you happy?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Meredith fumed. She turned around, furious, her face turning red, her fists balling up, her whole body shaking. Finally she whipped around and faced Derek. "You know what? I may not be entirely happy at how my life worked out, but I am content. I have an amazing family, my own practice, and a long life to look forward to. I may not have the same passion with Hayden that I shared with you, but I love him dearly, and he loves me, and treats me amazingly. This is a whole hell of a lot better than you ever did." Meredith then turned, to walk away.

But Derek was prepared this time. He grabbed her arm, and turned her around to look at him face to face, only inches away from his own face. Meredith inhaled his deep musky scent that she had missed for so many years, a longing locked deep within her heart, now unlocked and set free, her desire to be close to him a terrifying prospect that she wasn't sure she could resist.

"You don't think I've regretted how things ended, all these years?" Derek said, his voice husky, filled with emotion, barely a whisper. "You're not the only one who has been hurting Meredith. It's not only you who had their heart broken. Did you ever take a few seconds out of your life to think of how you broke my heart? I have spent every day for the past ten years trying to figure out what to do, how to win you back. I didn't cry myself to sleep each night, but it ate away at me, this grief this unimaginable sense of loss. You were my life, the one woman I loved more than myself, more than my career. I am only the biggest man in brain surgery because without you in my life, I had nothing but my career. So I dedicated my whole life to my work. I have only recently been able to move on. But I would drop it in a second if I knew you wanted me back, if I knew you loved me still, as much as I do, even though it's such a painful love." Derek reached out a hand and brushed Meredith's cheek, from her forehead to her chin, tracing his fingers along her cheekbone, her jaw bone. Meredith turned her head, all of it too much to comprehend, too much to resist. Silent Tears ran down her face, following familiar paths worn from the years she spent crying over Derek, their saltiness finding her lips, the bitter taste reminding Meredith of everything she had lost, of all the pain that this man had caused her to lose. Then all at once, she became very, very tired. Just keeping her eyes open was a task. She felt herself sag, and lean into Derek, who embraced her hopefully. She just gave in, she was tired of trying, she just let herself go, and he was there, Holding her, holding her up.