Chapter Nine: Into the Blackness of the Night
Ginny was worried. It wasn't often that she worried. Well, that was a lie. She worried a lot- about her children, her weight, her thankless job, her life. Was this really what she wanted? She could have been a model. In fact, she was actually a working model when she met George, albeit not a well known model. They met on a beach in the Caribbean, no less. She was shooting swimsuits for a Japanese magazine. He was on vacation, with his friend, Carlos. Now, Carlos was sexy. He had chiselled good looks- a strong, manly jaw, piercing blue eyes, and wavy brown hair. He had a six o' clock shadow, which always, always made Ginny's heart race. Too bad he was already spoken for. She really had no intention of hooking up with George, but as is always the case, one drunken club-hopping night, led to the inevitable drunken flirtations, progressing to the drunken, experimental kisses, stumbling right up to second base, then running crookedly to home, the drunken sex.
Two months later, Ginny faced that dreaded moment, when her stick defiantly read 'positive', despite her so obvious prayers and pleas. Ginny did the right thing, called George, and kissed her modelling career buh-bye. All because, George was an upstanding man. He flew out to New York to be with her the next day, and then got a job at a nearby hospital, and then, a few weeks later, proposed. Ginny said yes, only because she didn't want to make that joyful, childlike face sad. Then, seven months later, she had her baby, a girl, which they named Alexis Mae. Another few years later, she was pregnant again. Her formerly coveted body was now flabby, and she was locked in the domestic life. Something she resented. Along with being a model, she was also a decent actress, which enabled her to keep these feelings to herself, these long, eight years. It enabled her to plan her secret escape, starting with getting back into shape, buying sexy clothes, and, look up sexy Carlos. He, was living in California, but travelled to New York to see her, a few months after she first contacted him.
It was then, that she started her affair. Carlos took a temporary position at a hospital, for her was a surgeon as well. He managed to fly under the radar, and George never even knew he was back in town. For Ginny, Carlos was what she needed. She was only eighteen when she met the much older George, and at 26 she was feeling restless. She regretted missing out on her partying days, and Carlos was just what she needed. She never intended that it would last this long, but he was like a drug that she was addicted to. He was her vice. She was a junkie, she needed her daily fix of him. He was a passionate lover, rough but tender at the same time. The sex was heaven compared to George's bumbling touch. With George, it was more of an obligation. Ginny could lean back, and go through the motion without even feeling anything. With Carlos, it was toe-curling, and she was always in the room with him, a very present, very willing participant.
Over the six months that she had been having an affair with Carlos, she had fallen in love with him. Her mother knew the truth, and what she had been planning for the past two months. It was her secret escape. She was sad that it had to come to this, but she wasn't happy with George anymore, and she wasn't even sure if she had ever been happy with him. Carlos made her happy, that much she knew. She was sad that she had to leave her children, for they were the only good things to come out of the marriage, the eight year ordeal that could have been avoided. She smiled grimly, and did the last few buttons up on her long black trench coat. She sat down on the stiff bed of the hotel, and tapped her black boot on the floor nervously.
It was her elaborate plan. It was coming to a head tonight. She was leaving George, and running away with Carlos. This was why she was nervous. Carlos was already late, by fifteen minutes. Ginny worried that George would come back to the hotel, and she'd had to confront him, and tell him how unhappy she was. She didn't want to see his face when she broke his heart, because she knew he really loved her. It made her sad that she was going to hurt this sweet, gentle and caring man, but he just didn't make her happy. She knew that she made him happy, as did their kids. Well, he could have almost full custody of them, she reasoned. As long as they visited her a few times a year. She could deal. Ginny froze, for a certain thought that had never crossed her mind suddenly popped into her head. Would she be made out to be a cold hard bitch? With a hard, hard heart? Evil beyond the point of humanness? Would George bitch to his stupid surgeon girl friends, about what an evil bitch, terrible mother she was? Ginny's hands started shaking, as headlights flashed through the window and onto the walls and ceiling. He was here, finally. She grabbed her small bag, checked to make sure the note she had written was still there, on the bed where she put it, along with her set of room keys. She walked toward the door, and before closing the door, she turned around and surveyed the room. With one last look at George's clothes, his fluffy flannel pyjamas on the right side of the bed, where he had left them that morning, she turned, walked through the door, and into the blackness of the night. The door clicked behind her, and she was gone, as the stars glittered in the dark sky.