Chapter Ten: Muffins for my One and Only.

Derek returned to his hotel room with Cara, as soon as the party was over. He had nothing to stay for- he had paid his respects, and Meredith had disappeared after their talk in the backyard. Now it was the middle of the night, and Cara lay, sleeping soundly beside him. He was staring up at the popcorn ceiling, his mind racing. He replayed the events of the afternoon over and over in his mind. His heart hammered against his chest, and he took three shaky breaths. He rolled over, and stared at the digital clock on the nightstand, it's cold, hard red numbers telling the cruel truth that, eight hours ago, he once again let the love of his life walk away. That thought burned through his head, and raced through his veins like fire, right up to his heart, where a cold, bitter sensation assaulted him.

Derek sat up, and raked his hands through his wavy hair. He just couldn't sleep. He couldn't think of anything else. He got off the bed, and pulled a pair of grey sweats over his navy boxers, and pulled on an old t-shirt from his college days. He pulled a beaten leather jacket over his shirt, and wrapped a navy scarf around his neck. Derek stepped outside of the hotel room, and into the hallway, the gold carpeted floors with ornate flowers leading him past the doorways with the brass numbers, through the halls whose walls were adorned with antique pictures and reproductions of Monet, and renaissance art reproductions. He pressed the gold button for down, and waited until his elevator arrived. Soon he was outside, the cold wind whipping his face, and he was thankful that he remembered to put on his scarf, and regretted not wearing a sweater underneath his jacket.

Derek walked along the misty pier, before settling on a bench overlooking the Hudson River. He still had a soft spot in his heart for New York, even if his life was now in Seattle. He watched the giant freight boats pass him by, and his thoughts drifted. Seeing Meredith was like a shock to his system. For the longest time after she left, he couldn't function without her. Gradually, over time he had learned to deal with the emptiness she had left him with, and continue to live his life. There had even been a few very drunken nights at Joe's, where he had drunken himself into such a stupor that he had contemplated suicide. On such a night, he had met Cara. Cara Gingham was everything he had needed at that minute. She was tall, thin, with long silky black hair that he loved running his fingers through, and deep, almond shaped green eyes. She had looked at him, when he was sitting on a bench, in a misty night not unlike the one he was sitting in tonight, staring at the boats in the harbor…

FLASHBACK

"Are you alright?" Cara asked, her green eyes filled with concern. Derek looked up at her, his cheeks tear stained, his lips pale and cracked his hair greasy and messy, from sleep and a lack of showers. He must have looked a mess.

"What? Uh … uhm, honestly?" he said, his voice feeble and cracking. "No. Not really."

"Can I be of any help?" She asked, taking a seat next to him. "I don't really do this, coming up and talking to strangers and all, but you looked very sad. Just, please don't try to rape or murder me please?" she joked, and let out a soft laugh, which was music to Derek's ears.

It had been a long time since he had looked at a woman this way, but Cara was gorgeous. She caught his eye, because she wasn't a made-up beauty, she was a natural beauty. With a light dusting of freckles, barely visible, and thick lashes, and pale red, thick lips. For the first time in a long while, Derek laughed, and that made Cara smile.

"Do you want to go have a coffee?" Cara asked. "I know a really cute 24 hour diner just a few blocks away." To his surprise, Derek found himself nodding and following Cara.

Even more to his surprise, Derek found himself actually enjoying talking to Cara. He felt something he hadn't felt in a long time, since before meeting Meredith. He wasn't surprised when Cara asked him to come to her place, or even when he agreed. He knew the sex was going to be fantastic, even before he actually slept with her, because they had hit it off so well, and that Cara was a very worldly person, and in his experience, worldly women where amazing lovers. But what surprised him the most, was when he returned home the next afternoon, right before he fell asleep, was that he realized, it had been the first time in six years that he hadn't thought of Meredith…

END OF FLASHBACK

Even now, as he sat in present time, thinking, he knew that Cara was a good thing. He even knew that as much as he loved Meredith, he always would love Meredith. But, because Meredith was Meredith, she wouldn't leave her family. She couldn't be the crappy mom her mom was to her. In his heart of hearts, Derek knew that Cara was the next best thing. His heart still hurt as he came to the conclusion that, he would never be with Meredith again. To make this final, he knew he had to propose to Cara. The only thing that was stopping him was Meredith, and since he had just decided to close off his heart to Meredith for good, he knew he should propose to Cara. She had been pressuring him for a few months now, as had all his sisters. They wanted little nieces and nephews from Derek and Cara as soon as possible, so that they could be close in age to their youngest children.

Derek waited until the sun had risen, before going to a nearby café. He purchased two coffees, a few chocolate chip muffins, for those were the only kind Cara liked, and a few pastries. He then headed back to the hotel, to be there when Cara, a notoriously early riser, woke up. He knew that this is what he should do. He would never be able to live with himself if he broke up Meredith's marriage, and her family. He knew, deep somewhere that he had to move on, and lose Meredith, to fully allow them both to heal the wounds that were still there. He walked down the hallway that he had left a few hours ago, and opened the hotel room.

Cara was sitting up in bed, with her black rimmed glasses perched on her nose, reading the New York Times. "Where did you go?" She asked absently. It was something that Derek appreciated in Cara- the fact that she was not a jealous person, and she wasn't one to worry very often- it took a lot to make her sweat.

"I went to go get some sustenance," He said, holding up the bags of muffins and the tray of coffees. "A coffee with two sugars and one cream as well as muffins for my one and only," he said, smiling.

"Chocolate chip?" Cara questioned, her interest piqued, lowering the newspaper onto her lap and accepting the coffee. Derek climbed onto the bed bedside her.

"Nothing less," he said, laughing and taking a sip of his own coffee, black.

Cara dug into the brown paper bag with the muffins and drew one from the bag. After taking a bite, she looked at Derek, her mouth slightly full with food. "What's the occasion Derek?" her green eyes filled with apprehension.

"Do I need an occasion to treat you to muffins?" Derek said. Cara, narrowed her eyes slightly, but continued to eat her muffin.

"Hmph." She answered, and then swallowed. "It's just a little out of character that's all."

Derek nodded, and leaned closer to her. "Well," he whispered in her ear. "I was thinking that's it's time we get married." He then took the newspaper off her lap, and took a bite from her muffin all in one smooth motion, so very smooth, just like himself.

Cara's mouth hung open. "No!" she gasped incredulously. "You're serious??"

Derek smiled, and nodded as he licked his forefinger and turned the page of the newspaper. "I figure," he said, "that I am no young cat. I mean, I turn forty-seven in a few weeks, and I think four years of dating is a respectable amount of time. And, you know, I do love you."

Cara smiled. "You really are serious?" when Derek nodded in response, Cara shrieked. "YES! Oh my God Derek, YES!"

Cara dodged all the muffins, the newspaper, and the coffees to hug Derek. She kissed him, still smiling. "I can't believe it," She whispered, still in disbelief.

"Neither can I," Derek said. "I never thought I'd get married again, and I never thought that you, oh so very young you, would want to marry an old fart like me."

Cara play slapped his arm. "I am not that young!" She protested. Cara was only thirty-two, and she was a first-grade teacher. "Besides, I love you. You love me. That's all that matters." She kissed him again, and ran her hands through his slightly graying brown hair, and the two made love on top of the newspaper.