Chapter 2
Normal POV
After a long strenuous day at school, Syrus went up to his room and locked the door behind him. "Why does no one care about me anymore?" He thought to himself. Zane had started up the stairs to his little brother's room.
"Syrus... Are you ok? Let me in," Zane said.
"Go away," Syrus replied in a monotone voice. He remembered something. He had takes one of his fathers razor blades. He didn't know what he would ever need it for but he kept it, just for the sake of keeping it. He took it out of the bottom drawer of his dresser.
"Come on Sy. I just want to talk." Zane said persistently. Syrus didn't answer. Zane sat outside Syrus' door, know that he would have to come out before dinner.
Syrus took the razor and presses the edge of the blade gingerly to his forearm. "Should I do it?" he asked himself. "I can't! What if someone finds out? What if the put my in a mental hospital?" he continued the conversation in his head. "I can't keep going on the way I am. I need some relief." He pushed the blade down and made a small shallow cut. He repeated the action, but this time, the cut was long, jagged, deep. He started to cry. It hurt, but it felt so good, so good to have that feeling released, if even for a moment. He watched the blood seep from the would as it throbbed. He had judged people who cut themselves as bad, but now that he's done it, he sees why it is such a wonderful thing for them. Zane could hear Syrus crying.
"Are you ok, Sy?" he asked, sounding very concerned.
"Yeah, just leave me alone."
"It's time for dinner."
"All right, I'll be right down," he replied.
Quickly, he put a tissue over the wound and held it there until he was sure that the bleeding had stopped. He went over to his closet and put on a long sleeve black shirt and made sure that it cover the cuts. He opened his door, only to see Zane waiting there for him.
"Zane, you startled me..."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok," Zane said softly.
"I-I'm fine."
Syrus walked down to the kitchen with Zane and sat at the table in his usual spot across from his father and next to Zane.
"Are you all right sweety?" his mother looked at him.
"I'm fine mom," Syrus said as he put a little bit of spaghetti on his plate. He wasn't hungry. He could vomit just from looking at the food. The red sauce reminded him of what he had just done. It looked almost to be the color of blood. Syrus ate his food without even looking at it. He didn't want to eat, but he didn't want to be questioned as to why he wasn't eating. He finished the last bite. The last bite, by far, was the hardest to get down. He was still thinking about the blood, his blood. When he was done he headed back to his room. Zane followed.
"Syrus, let's talk," Zane said sweetly.
"Um, all right," Syrus said and watched Zane close the door behind him.
"Are you ok Sy? I heard you crying before."
"I'm fine. I promise. I just had a bad day at school, that's all," he said, trying to convince Zane that was all there was to it.
"Well, ok. I'm here if you want to talk about it." He leaned over and hugged the smaller boy. "I love you, Syrus," he said.
"I love you too, big brother."
Zane got up and left his brother's room. Syrus ran over and locked the door. He sat on his bed and rolled up his sleeve. The wound was starting to bleed again. He watched it. He could have gone on watching himself bleed all night long. He so desperately wanted this feeling to last. The feeling of relief that he hadn't felt in so long. He wished that moment could last forever. He finally felt safe, felt almost happy, felt something.