Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana

I saw Jackson look from me, to the running water in the sink, then back to me.

"Wha..." He couldn't even put together a decent sentence. Shit. What have I gotten myself into? He will never understand why I do this. He'll probably tell everyone about it and then I'll get sent to some rehab center for anorexic freaks. I know I'm not a freak and I don't have a problem. I just need to lose weight, that's it. I swear.

"Jackson, listen, this isn't what it looks like," I said taking a few steps towards him. He still stayed silent as he looked at me. He was probably thinking how fat I was and how I could possibly be bulimic when I was this fat.

"What the hell are you thinking?" he finally choked out. I knew he wouldn't get it. No one will ever understand the way I have been feeling the past two years of my life.

"I just need to lose a little weight, that's it," I said seriously.

"Lily, this is not a way to lose weight," Jackson said motioning towards the running water. Great, so he thinks I need to lose weight.

"Jackson, I'm not some anorexic frea-" I started but he cut me off.

"Does anyone know?" Jackson said, with a still horrified look across his face. I shook my head.

"And they won't know," I added sternly. God, If my parents ever found out about me it would be straight to some freaky old counselor who will tell me that I'm beautiful the way I am and I don't need to be skinny to be beautiful. But everything she will ever say to me would be all lies. There are plenty of ways to diet and this is just my way of dieting, that's it. I don't have a problem, I don't need a shrink I'm fine.

"You have a problem, a serious problem Lily," Jackson said. I rolled my eyes.

"No I don't" I said shaking my head sternly as I looked straight into his eyes.

"You have an eating disorder! People have died from these kinds of things!" he said almost yelling. Now he had gotten me pissed off.

"It's not a disorder, I'm dieting that's it!" I said as I pointed my finger towards him.

"Making yourself throw up everything you've eaten isn't a diet!" He said louder than the last time.

"Yes it is! Listen I'm not some anorexic freak who wants to weigh like, 80 pounds!" I shouted. He was really starting to piss me off. I'm on a diet. A normal diet. That's it.

"When did you start?" he asked me.

"That's none of your-" I was once again cut off by him.

"When did you start Lily?!" He said loudly, talking over me.

"It's was about a year ago, okay, can I just get out of here?" I said rolling my eyes as I started walking towards the doorway in the bathroom. But Jackson got to it before I did and stood there, blocking it.

"Why?" Jackson said as he spread his hands across the wall to stop me from leaving the bathroom.

"Jackson this is ridiculous let me out," I said as I looked up at him.

"Why did you start making yourself throw up?" he asked me.

"because I was fat," I said as i crossed my arms against my chest. As my arms touched my body I could just feel me becoming fatter from the food that still lingered in my stomach.

"That's ridiculous!" Jackson said rolling his eyes. God, Jackson was such a fucking ass hole. What the hell was this guys problem.

"I was a size twelve Jackson! That's too fat for a plus size model!" I yelled as I uncrossed my hands from my chest.

"It's not fat, it's normal," He yelled. I had, had it with this guy. He's a guy. He doesn't understand and he will never understand how much I just want to get to that size 0.

"If it's normal than why does every model in the world weigh 100 pounds?" I said.

"Because there anorexic freaks who have been pressured to starve themselves because the stupid designers some how didn't buy enough fabric to make a dress for a real person," He yelled.

"Jackson, those models are beautiful, I want to look like them, I want to but those designer clothes and fit in them with out my rolls of fat hanging out!" I yelled.

"You're killing yourself Lily!" He screamed. I knew it was true. But why the hell would it matter if my parents walked into my room and found me passed out in the bathroom dead. I wouldn't care. I would rather kill myself trying to be thin then ever be fat.

"You think I don't realize that?!" Those words slipped off my tongue, admitting defeat to Jackson. To my Surprise Jackson stayed silent and as the tears that had been held behind my blood shot eyes for so long finally fell quicker than I could spill out my words.

"I want to be beautiful Jackson, I want to look like nicole Rich and those run way models, I want to for once go to a store and ask if they have a smaller size in the pair of jeans that I want," I paused to see if Jackson was going to say anything but he was silent.

"Jackson I need to do this, it's my life. Being thin is my life! I would rather kill myself than ever look the same way I did a year ago!" I stopped. There it was the truth. Jackson had gotten what he wanted. There's why I do this to myself. There's my confession. There it is. Whether he likes it or not.

"You need to tell-" I cut him off. After I told him all that? After everything I had told him he still wants me to tell someone? What the hell is he thinking? Didn't he hear me? I'd rather kill myself trying to be thin than to be fat. Does this guy ever listen. I guess he must have been thinking about how ugly I was and too distracted by my ugliness to listen. I couldn't stand being in this room with him anymore. The way he looked at me with pure disgust made me want to slap him. He thought I was ugly and I knew it. With all the strength I could muster out of my body I tried to push Jackson out of the way. But he didn't budge. With my head towards his chest and my eyes filled with tears I pounded both my fits against his chest. Wanting him to move. But he never did. As my weak body started to get tired the punches became lighter. Until finally, my punches had stopped and all that I was doing, was crying into his chest. I felt his arms wrap around me as all the pain and torture I had gone through for the past year, flooded out of my eyes.

A/N: Okay, I must dedicate this chapter to Wounded Shell Of Myself because with out her review it would have been very unlikely I would have continued this story :)

but anyway... tell me what you thought! I would like to get at least 5 reviews for this chapter (I got 4 last one one of which I deleted)

So.. Review if you want me to continue!