Calum A/N: This refused to get written and at the time I thought it sucked, but in the end, everything seemed to work out okay. Hope you like eeeet!

There once was a little girl who was the apple of her parents' eyes. When she was five, she used to wear her favourite dress, an adorable little lilac number with frills around the collar and puffed sleeves, with her hair braided, and pretended to tapdance on the kitchen floor. It was the sweetest thing her parents had ever seen, and they loved their little girl so much.

Eventually, she was no longer interested in dresses or dancing, but she was nonetheless still the apple of her parents' eyes. When she was ten, she played little league softball, and her team made it all the way to the final tournament, and won. She hit the ball every time she went up to bat, and she was very proud of herself and her achievements. Her parents couldn't have been prouder of their little girl, and took lots of photos that remain in a treasured album to this day.

But eventually, like many things in her life, softball too was left behind. The little girl was now fifteen. While her love of sports had waned, her passion for skirts and dancing had ignited anew. Unfortunately, the nature of these interests had changed considerably...

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

Her mother took a deep breath, and continued using her butter knife to spread peanut butter on toast, and not for the other purpose that had crossed her mind when she heard her daughter shriek for the fifth time that morning.

"What, Kagome?"

"Where's my favourite skirt!"

"I probably put it in the wash, Kagome," her mother replied. "If it's sitting in a crumpled heap in your room, it goes in the wash. You know that."

"But it was still good!" Kagome screeched. "And why are you going into my room, anyway! Isn't there some law that says you can't invade your daughter's private space!"

"Isn't there some law that says you can't wear a skirt that short in school?" Kagome's mother muttered into the orange juice.

Down the hal in her room, Kagome went rooting through her closet to find something suitable in the place of her favourite skirt. She finally pulled out a little black leather number with a zipper up the front. She checked how it matched up with her navy blue tube top in her full-length mirror. It wasn't nearly as good as her favourite skirt would have been, but it was going to have to do. Pulling on her black leather knee-high boots, she subsequently sat down at her vanity mirror and began to apply obscene amounts of make-up. When she was finished, she looked as if a parrot had exploded on her face. With that, she was satisfied. Taking up a glass of low-fat milk and nothing else (she had a figure to keep up, after all, and skipping breakfast was a sacrifice she was going to have to make!) and slinging her school bag over her shoulder (it was quickly turning into summer, and she had no need for a coat) she ran out the door and made her way to school.

As soon as Kagome swung the high school doors open, she awaited the reaction she received every morning–male adoration.

"Hey, Kagome."

"What's up, Kagome?"

"Kagome, that skirt's really hot!"

Kagome fluffed her hair. "Hey, boys. Thanks for the compliment!"

For you see, Kagome's newest hobby was seduction, and to prove that she was the best, she had staked her claim on all the young boys' hearts. By now, Kagome had slept with every boy in school, if you can believe it. No really! Don't you believe me? And you can be damn sure she was proud of it, too! It was a bloody fine accomplishment at her age!

Jakotsu, sitting in a classroom reading, waiting for the first class to begin and minding his own business, heard what the narrator had just said.

"What do you mean, Kagome's slept with every boy in school?" Jakotsu demanded.

I mean, replied the narrator, that Kagome has slept with every boy in school. Case closed.

"No, look, that's impossible," Jakotsu countered. "She can't have possibly slept with every boy in school. She sure hasn't slept with me!"

Now THAT'S what's impossible, said the narrator. No one has ever turned Kagome down.

Jakotsu put down his book and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "I don't think you quite understand... I'm g–!"

EVERY boy in school...! interrupted the narrator. She began shaking a fist at the hapless Jakotsu.

So, regardless of a few certain people who remain in denial–

Jakotsu glared at the narrator, which took a great deal of talent, considering the narrator was invisible–

–Kagome was, indeed, the skankiest h–er, that is, the pimpinest playgirl this side of the Great Lakes.

"Yer damn right!" Kagome shouted to no one in particular. She received some odd looks, but merely batted them away with her eyelashes.

As soon as Kagome got her books out of her locker, she made her way straight to her first class. Not because she was worried about being tardy, but because it always took her at least five minutes to sit down, either because her jeans were too tight or her skirt was too short. She may have been a playgirl, but she certainly wasn't about to go flashing everyone in sight as she sat down.

Oh, heavens, no.

So, after Kagome had finally gotten seated with no unfortunate mishaps, the teacher came in and began the class with an unusual announcement.

"Today," addressed the teacher, "we have a new student. I'd like you all to meet Inuyasha Taisho."

Kagome watched as the new student walked shyly into the class. The feature that caught her eye instantly was the thick mane of silver hair that cascaded down his back. He was rather tall and nicely built, but his physique was visually diluted thanks to his slumped posture. His business-like slacks and dress shirt, complete with crooked bow-tie, along with a pair of thick-framed glasses with lenses like coke-bottle bottoms, were less than flattering.

Kagome immediately scoffed at this newcomer. 'He's clearly a nerd. Definitely not my type. Probably not interested, anyway. Not worthy of my affections.' At the thought of such a serious word as "affection," Kagome then snickered at the idea that she, the playgirl extraordinaire, would use a word such as "affection" for her male conquests. There was no room for real love when it came to being a player!

I'M SURE THIS STATEMENT WILL NOT HAVE AN IMPACT IN THE UNFOLDING OF THE STORY AT ALL.

A delicate finger poked Kagome's shoulder from behind. It was her friend Sango, who aspired to become a glorious player such as was Kagome's calling. Kagome humoured the poor girl by letting her in on her playing secrets. Sango was a fast learner, but had unfortunately not yet mastered the art of walking in six-inch high stilettos. There was little hope for her in the future if she could not handle basic skanky footwear.

"Why don't you try working your charms on him, Kagome?" Sango suggested, smirk playing upon her features.

Kagome glanced again at the boy at the front of the class, waiting patiently for the teacher to finish introducing him. "Are you kidding? He wouldn't go for it. You can't play a nerd. It's undignified. You'd do well to remember that. Where's your notebook?"

Sango pulled out a miniature spiral notebook labelled "101 Secrets to Skanky Success" and began jotting down some notes on a blank page. "Okay, got it. But still, you're the best playgirl in the tri-county area! I bet you could do it."

Kagome gave her hair a little flip. "Oh, Sango, you flatter me. You're right, I probably could do it, being the skilled seductress that I am. But...you know...tradition..."

"Make it a dare, then!" Sango giggled.

Kagome cocked a carefully plucked-and-penciled-in eyebrow. "What's the stipulation if I don't do it?"

"You'll die!" Sango grinned, just as perky as if she was talking about going to the amusement park.

"Really?" Kagome asked, taken slightly aback. "Are dares that powerful?"

Sango nodded very seriously. "They are. Drop out of a dare, and bam! You'll just drop dead on the street! That's why you must never drop out of a dare. The Spirits of Doom and Dares... They're watching us..." Sango ducked her head a bit and looked back and forth, paranoid.

Kagome did not like the idea of dropping dead because of the, er, Spirits of Doom and Dares... She kept glancing over at Inuyasha, debating if she should accept the challenge. The thought was tempting. It was not in her personal interest to play a nerd... But, what did her personal interests matter? She was a player! The best player in the school district! It was time to break with tradition! Kagome was going to seduce this Inuyasha, no matter how tough a nut he proved to be to crack. After all, she could not safely say she had slept with every boy in school if she missed this one poor soul who had only just arrived.

From somewhere in the back of the classroom, Jakotsu's eye twitched.

"Inuyasha, there's an empty seat next to Kagome," said the teacher. "You can sit there."

Wordlessly, Inuyasha made his way to his seat. Kagome was ecstatic.

As soon as Inuyasha had sat down and put his school things in his desk, Kagome leaned over. "Hi, new guy," she purred. "My name's Kagome. What's yours?"

"The teacher just said," Inuyasha replied, cocking an eyebrow and leaning slightly in the opposite direction of the girl with too much makeup. "It's Inuyasha."

"I know," said Kagome, fluttering her eyelashes a little. "It's just part of the introduction."

"Ah," Inuyasha said, if for no other reason than to be polite. "O...kay..." Inuyasha turned his eyes back to the front of the class.

Kagome was shocked. A boy would rather pay attention to class than to her! No blush? No stammer? No drool! Most boys would kill to have a seat next to her! In fact, some guy Naraku had done just that last week, which was why the seat next to Kagome was empty in the first place.

Kagome leaned over to Inuyasha even further, gracing the students passing by the window outside a view they really didn't need to see.

"I was just thinking," Kagome whispered with a disturbing twinkle in her eye that would have made even Miroku shudder, "I'm a girl, and you're a boy... And you know what boys and girls like to do together, right?" On that note, Kagome began lifting her eyebrows up and down, tilting her head just so and leering in such a way that made a shiver run down the spine of every stereotypical anime pervert within a thirty mile radius.

Inuyasha thrust his hand into the air. "Teacher! Kagome's having a seizure!"

"I am not having a seizure!" Kagome protested. Unfortunately, she had been leaning over so far that she fell right out of her chair and onto the floor, effectively smacking her head on the tile and rendering her unconscious.

When Kagome awoke later, she found herself lying under the sheets of an infirmary bed. She remembered she had passed out earlier, and began to wonder who had brought her to the infirmary.

"Oh, good. You're awake," said a familiar voice at her side. Kagome turned her head to see that Inuyasha sitting next to the bed, his eyes super-magnified from behind his glasses into a blur of gold, white and black.

Kagome was still feeling a bit fuzzy. She lifted a hand up to her temple and rubbed. "Where's Sango?"

"You mean the girl who sits behind you?" asked Inuyasha. "Last I saw her, she was scribbling something in a notebook."

'Idiot,' Kagome thought exasperatedly. 'You weren't supposed to take notes on that embarrassing performance...'

With that thought, Kagome immediately remembered her dare. She was alone in a room...with Inuyasha...with a bed handy. Could it get any better?

Kagome gave a groan and held the back of her hand to her forehead.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Inuyasha demanded. "Are you okay? Maybe I should go get the nurse–"

"No!" Kagome exclaimed. "All I need...is you..."

Inuyasha blinked behind his oversized spectacles. "Wh-what? What do you need me for? I don't know first aid!"

"First aid won't cure what I have..." Kagome sighed, breast swelling with her laboured breaths.

Inuyasha placed a hand over his mouth and let out a small gasp. He leaned forward, brows knitted in deep concern. "Do you have herpes?"

"No!" Kagome snapped, glaring at him. Inuyasha leaned back, startled. Kagome returned instantly to her wilting-flower act. "I feel warm... And my heart beats so fast... But for some reason...it only happens...when I'm around you, Inuyasha..."

"Uh, really?" Inuyasha inquired, puzzled. "We just met ten minutes ago."

"Yes, but..." Kagome croaked, "...I can't even remember what life was like for me before that time ten minutes ago when you walked into our classroom."

"You have amnesia!" exclaimed Inuyasha, shrinking in horror.

Kagome had to fight from slapping her own forehead at the boy's ridiculous naïvete. "I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say here."

"Well, I think you need to be a little more specific than 'I feel warm,' 'my heart is beating so fast,' and 'I can't remember what happened ten minutes ago,'" Inuyasha grunted, gesturing his hands in a frustrated manner. "It sounds like you're going through menopause, but I don't think that's it, is it?"

Kagome pushed the stiff hospital sheets down her body a bit and leaned forward. "Inuyasha... I... I think I'm in love with you..."

"Maybe you're having a hot flash..."

Inuyasha slid slowly off his stool, and backed away as Kagome advanced. "I want you... I need you..."

"Or possibly a nervous break-down..."

"Mmmmm, Inuyasha..." Kagome lusted thickly. "Right here, right now, in this school infirmary... Make love to m–!"

"I'LL GO GET THE NURSE!" Inuyasha screamed. He was out of the infirmary in an instant. His stool spun around several times on one leg before toppling to the floor.

Kagome stared, blinking, at the empty space that only moments ago had contained Inuyasha.

She clenched her fist and narrowed her eyes. "Nobody turns down Kagome Higurashi... No one!"

Kagome knew her time to seduce Inuyasha once and for all was nigh. She spent all the night before preparing for what was to come today...

Picture day.

Oh, yes. Kagome was dressed to the nines (although due to budget cuts, she could only dress to about the fives, but you get the picture.) If her midriff-baring halter top, cut-off jeans and thigh-high boots didn't catch his attention, she didn't know what would!

About now you may be wondering how Kagome could get away with taking a school photo in such a raunchy get-up. Well, do you remember when I said that Kagome had slept with every boy in school? Strike that. She had slept with every man in school, too.

Please draw your own conclusions.

So, Kagome carried herself proudly into the school and headed straight for the gym, since school photos were taking place during first period that morning. As she found a place in line and fluffed her hair a bit, she glanced around the gym in search of her prey.

She did not see him when he came in. Instead, she heard him. Not him, exactly, but the commotion made as soon as he walked through the double doors.

There was a lot of squealing going on behind Kagome, and naturally curious about the cause of the disturbance, she took the effort to turn her head a few degrees to inspect the situation. What she saw made turning her head seem well worth the effort, indeed.

Dressed in a casual-yet-stylish red suit with a matching tie and a soft, white, cotton dress shirt was...could it be? Was it really Inuyasha Taisho? What had he done with his glasses? He wasn't wearing them, that much was certain, and where they usually sat were a pair of striking golden eyes lined with thick, snowy lashes. Likewise, his hair was as white and velvety as the virgin snow, still worn down but primped and brushed to perfection.

"In-In-In-In-In..." Kagome spluttered, until she finally managed to shriek, "INUYASHA!"

Inuyasha's head whipped around and spotted her standing in line, and with a short shriek of his own, vanished into the crowd. He was still a bit shy about their last encounter, it seemed, poor lad.

Kagome's eyes had nearly popped out of her head, but since she still kind of needed them for a while, she tried to keep them securely in their sockets. Inuyasha...he wasn't a nerd at all! He was...well, quite simply put, he was one of the most–no, THE most gorgeous specimen Kagome had ever laid eyes upon.

She felt a strange fluttering in her chest at the memory of the image of Inuyasha walking into the gym, that endearingly shy expression mixed with that classically handsome visage... Kagome was uncertain whether to contribute this fluttering to heartburn or premature ventricular contractions. She had not eaten anything for breakfast that would have caused heartburn, and Kagome had no idea what a premature ventricular contraction was, despite the use of the complex term by the author.

So then, what was this feeling? Could it be...? No, it couldn't! Not Kagome! Not the baddest playgirl west of the Nile River Delta! Kagome could not have possibly...

...fallen in love...!

OF COURSE NOT. WE CAN SAFELY IGNORE THIS REVELATION. REALLY. I'M SERIOUS.

'What am I going to do!' Kagome lamented. 'I'm a playgirl... Rule number one of the Player's Code is never to fall in love with the people you play... I'm...I'm a failure!' With this thought, Kagome shook her head thoroughly. 'No! I mustn't think that way! I'm the baddest playgirl this side of...of...I can't think of any more places I'm on a side of! DAMN THIS CRUEL WORLD!'

Everyone in the general vicinity could not explain the wordless, exaggerated bodily expressions Kagome was performing on the floor of the gym. Some of the theatre students wondered if it was contact improvisation 1, but not even that was quite this disturbing.

Kagome drudged through the hallway at school the next day. Not even the boys' compliments were cheering her up, though they were duly noted. Her shoulders were slumped, and she trained her makeup-framed eyes towards the cold tile of the corridor.

Now, logic would dictate that such a posture is not only bad for one's spine, but also inhibits one's ability to see where one is going. However, Kagome did not especially feel like being logical today, nor particularly safe, as she rounded a corner and ran headlong into someone who was also rounding that corner in the opposite direction.

I'M SURE IT IS NO ONE OF ANY IMPORTANCE.

"Oops... Sorry..." Kagome murmured with little conviction. Though the strain and effort nearly caused her to lose her balance, she risked upturning her gaze ever so slightly nonetheless. Doing so caused a startling jolt to shoot down her spine.

She had bumped into Inuyasha.

The last person she wanted to see–let alone bump into–on a day such as this. He stared at her from behind his thick lenses, still slightly frozen from the shock of having nearly been trampled on. It finally dawned on him who had just headbutted him, and the result was the two staring at each other in something that resembled disbelief. A moment later, one's eyes strayed away from the other's, unable to meet each other's gaze. The blood vessels in their faces dilated slightly (or for those of you with a vocabulary limited by romance novels, a pale blush dusted their cheeks.)

After a lot of carrying on in silence and blushing and shifting gazes, Sango walked past and gave Kagome a slap on the back.

"Hey, how's the dare going?" called Sango jovially. "Got that nerd into the sack yet? Stiff upper lip, girl, I know you can do it!"

Kagome and Inuyasha immediately snapped back to reality.

It was Inuyasha who spoke first: "What did she just say?"

"N-nothing!" Kagome squeaked. "Sango didn't just give away a seedy plot intended to further my career as a player and potentially cause you a great deal of ire and embarrassment should you ever find out about it!" Kagome slapped a hand over her mouth at what she had just blabbed. It was surprising what dribbled out of there when she wasn't careful... This much was certain after an unfortunate incident involving spaghetti-o's when she was five years old.

"You... How could you!" Inuyasha shouted. "I could tell you were a shady character with no respect for yourself or anyone else from the moment I met you, and I never liked you anyway, but for some reason it feels like you've ripped my heart from out my chest and crushed it beneath thy pointèd heel of treachery!"

Kagome blinked. "Wha...?"

"Sorry..." apologized Inuyasha. "I start speaking in Shakespearean English when I get angry..." He pulled an asthma puffer out of his pocket and started inhaling like mad.

"Please, you have to understand!" Kagome pleaded.

"What's to understand!" Inuyasha interrupted. "You played me for a fool!"

"But wait..." said Kagome slowly. "I couldn't play you. You wouldn't fall for it! How can you say I've played you, then? I mean, I tried to, but that doesn't mean I succeeded."

"Enough of your serpent's tongue, woman!" Inuyasha cried. "I mean–shut up! That's not important to the plot!"

For some inexplicable reason, everyone in the hallway started walking very slowly. Inuyasha brought his hand up, as if moving it through molasses, to finally land on Kagome's cheek with a deep, drawn-out SLAP! Spit flew very slowly through the air from Kagome's mouth.

"Huh... Slow-mo abuse..." Jakotsu commented randomly. "That's actually kind of sexy."

As soon as everything had sped up again, Kagome clutched at her assaulted cheek and stared at Inuyasha, shocked and hurt.

Inuyasha blinked. "Wow... I don't even care what you think of me... And yet I bitch-slapped you in the middle of a busy school hallway. How does that work?"

A figured cloaked in shadow and, uh, a cloak, chuckled evilly behind a row of lockers. "It is the will of the author! Hehehe... Dance, my puppets...dance!" With that, she ran giggling down the hallway squealing something about yaoi.

"I-Inuyasha..." Kagome whispered. Screwing her eyes shut, she turned and fled from the scene. She shed but a few pearl tears, which miraculously flew from her eyes as she ran and stayed suspended in mid-air for a few seconds.

Inuyasha stared after her. "Kagome!" he called, as if he had regretted his choice to whomp her in public. He was indeed regretful, even though he didn't actually care what Kagome did, whether it concerned him or not. This apathy had spontaneously changed to anger at her blatant insensitivity, which had in turn spontaneously changed to concern for her feelings.

He glanced down at the label on his puffer. "'Warning, may cause rapid mood swings and good grammar.' Dammit! So you're the culprit! This thing is dangerous. Although, it could still have its uses... Where'd that author go who was here a minute ago...?"

Several people that next day were asking around why Kagome wasn't at school. But in fact, as these people were soon privy to find out, Kagome was at school, but something was quite amiss.

Barely recognizable in her new outfit, Kagome did the opposite of what she always strove to do–stand out. Dressed in a baggy beige sweater, baggy blue jeans, no make-up, and her hair done up in a braid, no one would have recognized her without close scrutiny.

Yes, it was true. The greatest playah in the very cosmos had toned it down a notch. Pulling a 180 in her wardrobe, Kagome was dressing down, straightening up and flying right (she would very much have liked to do something to the left, but sadly found nothing appropriate.) Her actions in the past had caused the rift between her and Inuyasha, with whom she had spontaneously fallen in love, and this simply could not be let alone to seethe and boil like a boiling cabbage, bitter and boiling on its boiler and spewing steam of mistrust.

Just as Kagome was congratulating herself on a metaphor well-done, she turned the corner of the hallway and stopped dead. Luckily, the stars were aligned just right and she did not actually bump into the person who was rounding the corner in the other direction, as unsuspecting characters are wont to do in high school fanfics with a degree of convenience and accuracy that would make a professional bumper car driver green with envy.

Also stopped dead in his tracks and standing mere feet away from Kagome was Inuyasha. Only, Kagome had to peer intently for several moments to confirm for certain that this was, indeed, Inuyasha, and not some pimp who bore an uncanny resemblance.

Due to the wonder of optical illusion, he appeared about a foot taller than he actually was. The cause of this illusion seemed to be a combination of the three-inch platform clunkers and a vertically-pinstriped suit. The hat he wore also seemed to contribute to the illusion, being so incredibly large and pimpin' you could spot him on a deserted island 500 miles out to sea, which would be extremely useful if he ever found himself trapped on a deserted island–as unsuspecting characters are wont to do in lemon fanfics with a degree of convenience and passion that would make Captain Jack Sparrow throw his own pimpin' hat down into the sand in indignance.

When the light hit him just so, the bling Inuyasha wore both around his neck and on his fingers shone so brightly that Kagome was nearly blinded. It was no wonder that Inuyasha had put the finishing touch on his ensemble in the form of dark sunglasses.

"I-Inuyasha?" Kagome stammered, staring in disbelief at the man with so much style it hurt (literally–unbeknownst to Kagome, he had the thong marks to prove it.) "What's all this?"

"I could ask you the same thing, beeotch–I mean, Kagome," Inuyasha replied. "Foschizzle mah nizzle, girl, you're lookin' as humble as da bumble in those threads!"

Kagome blinked.

Inuyasha scratched the back of his head. "Well, at least my Shakespearean English problem is cured... But that still doesn't explain why you're so dressed down today!"

"Or why you're so dressed up!" Kagome shrilled. "I decided to change who I was so that you would like me, because if Grease has taught us anything, it's that you should avoid being yourself if it's for the person you love, because they will probably never love you for who you really are!"

Inuyasha nodded his head. "That is so true..."

"And so I thought," Kagome continued, "that I should become a responsible student, and not play around so much anymore. I know that's what got you upset at me before, so I'm discarding it from this day forward."

"Really?" Inuyasha asked. "You'd do that for me?"

Kagome nodded, fluttering her eyelashes a bit. It was tough to break the habit.

Inuyasha barked a laugh. "That's so weird... Because I thought that it was because I was so stubborn and straight-laced that our relationship became so awkward. If I could just roll with the punches and be Cool, like the Gwen Stephani song, I wouldn't have gotten so upset. I should be flattered that someone would risk invoking the wrath and fury of the Spirits of Doom and Dares just to have a shot at me. That's why I thought I could be a playah, just like you. Or, at least, just like you were."

"So," Kagome giggled. "You were trying to be like me to make me feel better...and I was trying to be like you to make you feel better?"

"Looks like!" Inuyasha said with a chuckle.

And so, the two began to laugh. And they laughed. And they laughed some more. They knew not how long they laughed, only that they laughed.

"HEY!" shrieked Jakotsu. "That's cheap! You used that joke last time! You're a terrible author!"

Suddenly, Jakotsu magically found himself transported into the girls' locker room. Oddly, the only screams heard were those of Jakotsu.

Inuyasha and Kagome laughed all throughout the day, neglecting their classes and chortling on into the night, when the halls were dark and empty.

An old man in a green striped custodian's uniform with "Totosai" embroidered in gold italics on the breast, a scraggly beard and bulbous eyes, came sweeping by, accompanied only by his old, trusty broom, Hilda.

"Kids these days..." he murmured. The echoes of laughter followed him down the hall. And haunted him to the end of his days. Okay, maybe not.

END.

1 Ceech, Spacewolf, anyone else in G's drama class...you know what I'm talking about.