A/N: Hey folks, Spacewolf here! It's my first chapter of this new story and I have to say, I like how it turned out. Which is odd, usually I hate my own stuff! In this chapter I just wanted to see if I could represent how pointless a story can become by adding in too many 'family members.' Not to say, a few strategically placed OCs will damage a story (lord knows I've done it!) but OCs have a habit of rapidly stealing the spotlight. That and I got to be ridiculous. I would also like to add that I am well aware that 'Boy-Kanna' has a name of his own. Do I know it? No. Do I plan on finding out or remembering it? No. Why? Because his pointlessness offends me. He's just Kanna with a penis folks so I will always refer to him as Boy-Kanna. And also, PS, NAOKI AND KATSU ARE MINE! The others you can have. BUT LEAVE THEM TO MEEEEEE!
A/N (Calum the Angel): Well, apparently the live editor hates me tonight, so I'm introducing a delightful new linebreak! My originality astounds me. Har har har.
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"DIE, INUYASHA!" Kagura bellowed, slashing with her fans.
"Shoot!" Inuyasha hit the ground, ducking a surge of power that blew over his head.
"Rargh!" a watery gurgle was cut short.
"Sorry, Miroku!" Inuyasha winced to his best friend, who'd received the full brunt of the attack.
Miroku gave him a weak thumbs up from where he lay in a crumpled bleeding pile.
Sango engaged Kohaku, her younger brother, beating him violently about her head with her large boomerang.
"Quit hitting yourself!" she jeered. "Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!"
"Ow!" Kohaku whined, putting his hands up to defend himself. "Ow, stop it! Stop it; I'm telling!"
Naraku was not holding back any longer.
He towered, humanoid only to the waist, while the rest of him was bulging and slithering and vaguely resembled a spider. Beside him, hovering on her feather, was Kagura, whose cold red eyes waited for a weakness she could use to exploit.
Kanna stood back as well, her mirror held tightly, ready for action.
Boy-Kanna stood off to the side and tried to look menacing.
He failed.
"We can't win!" Kagome gasped as she held her bow in her right hand, leaning heavily on it. Her skirt was ripped and slitted from the battle. Her blouse was torn half away. She looked conveniently sexy, though slightly dusty. "He's brought out the whole damn family! We're screwed!"
"Never!" Inuyasha proudly picked himself up from the dirt. "Now that I've found my contact lens which I dropped–"
"Yeah, right," Shippou muttered safely from the sidelines.
"–I shall smite you!" Inuyasha declared in a powerful voice.
"No, Inuyasha," Naraku purred seducti... cough I mean evilly. "No, it is I who shall smite you! For I am the great and powerful Smiter McSmity! And you shall be so smoted you shall not believe the degree of smiting I'm about to smote you with!"
Naraku took a second and then nodded, backing up his declaration.
He raised one clawed hand high into the air. "Now prepare to be smated!" He shook his head, his claws hesitating. "Sm-smoted! Smoted?" he frowned "Smited? Smoted?" he was testing out which word was the best. With a nod he said firmly. "Smited! Prepare to be smited!"
An arch of pink glittering sparkles, showering like fairy dust, bisected Naraku's arm.
"Ow!" he exclaimed, rubbing it. "Jeez!"
Suddenly Sesshomaru stood there.
"You shall not harm him!" he thundered, thrusting to point with his sword at his raven haired foe. "You will not rob me of the satisfaction of killing my own brother, Naraku!"
Kagome blinked in surprise at having the sword leveled at her.
Rin and Jaken hurried forward, took hold of Sesshomaru and turned him so he was threateningly pointing at Naraku, then they dashed away.
"Like I said before!" Sesshomaru growled. "I'm killing him, so you can go home now!"
"Sesshomaru, you idiot! Why didn't you use the Tokijin instead of the Tensaiga? You could have killed Naraku with the Tokijin, you had perfect shot!" Inuyasha bellowed furiously.
"Look, brother," Sesshomaru said calmly. "I drew a sword and I slashed the bad guy. Not my fault I drew the wrong sword, okay? These things happen!"
"Why are you even here?" Naraku demanded Sesshomaru, still miffed about his arm ache.
"Brother's death will be by my hands, and no one else's!" Sesshomaru bellowed. After a pause he added, "Besides, I don't like you."
"Fine," Naraku pouted. "Then die beside your precious brother scum!"
He made a slashing motion, and a torrent of power surged forward. Sesshomaru prepared to block.
Before the blast could even hit the elder of the two brothers, a lithe form somersaulted out of the air and landed in front of him. Giving a delicate cry it slashed back at Naraku with its ten foot long katana.
Naraku's power was blasted back on him, and he and his "children" were knocked back.
Standing in the dust as it settled was a tall, delicate young woman. Her silver hair was pulled into two loose pony tails. She was scantily clad with small bits of armour, including a band bearing striking resemblances to the one over Sesshomaru's shoulder. She turned and regarded those behind her with humourous satisfaction in her golden eyes.
"I was afraid I'd be too late," she said. She sheathed her long sword in a scabbard that did not fit it. Just as Inuyasha's Tetsusaiga did however, it shrank to fit the accommodations.
"Who are you?" Inuyasha demanded.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome scolded. She hurried forward. "Whoever you are, thanks."
"Don't mention it," the young woman replied, tilting her head back. She was delicately boned and quite beautiful. She was obviously a youkai.
"I am Hiruka. My name means "far away" because at my birth, my father sent me away. He feared his enemies would find me. I waited and waited for him to send for my return when all was safe, but it was not to be. He was slain, and I became forgotten."
"Your sword..." Kagome stammered.
Hiruka nodded.
"Yes, the Tetsumaru should seem familiar. After all, you have seen its kind before."
"Who was your father?" Sesshomaru demanded harshly. "I have made it my practice to know all demons powerful enough to challenge me. For you to be so strong, your lineage must have been great."
Hiruka titled her head up proudly. "My lineage is the greatest. My sire had many names, but you would know him best as 'father.'"
"What?" Inuyasha gasped disbelievingly.
"Before he met your mother and fell in love," Hiruka began as she circled Inuyasha, "he was mated with another demon. A fellow dog-demon. My mother. When I was only six, our father's enemies killed my mother. He sent me away with his trusted advisors where I would be safe. He died before he could summon me home. When I grew powerful enough, I returned to this, the land of my birth to find him, or at the very least to find my older brother, Sesshomaru."
She turned and glanced at the aristocratic demon, who watched her impassively. She turned back to Inuyasha.
"I never would have dreamed that I would return to find a younger brother as well. A hanyou no less."
Inuyasha bristled at what could have been an insult.
"Okay," Naraku whispered to Kanna, Kagura and Boy-Kanna. "Now!"
The three of them took the opportunity, presented by Hiruka's shocking revelation to launch an attack on the unsuspecting do-gooders.
Before they could get very far however, a brilliant pink whip of energy circled Naraku's wrist and dragged him back and burning his flesh.
An orange whip and a purple whip too lashed out, wrapping around Kagura and Kanna, dragging them back as well.
A rock was thrown at Boy-Kanna.
"Ow!" he whined.
"Brother!" called a deep and impressive voice.
Everyone turned to see a trio clad in white kimonos, two of which wore their hakama (pants) needlessly high. Each twirled a whip of energy dangerously.
In unison they leapt high into the air, and then landed at the base of the convenient cliff they'd been standing on.
Each bore tiger like marks on their faces and wrists.
Each had an elegant and cold bearing with merciless golden eyes. Two were male, one was female; you could tell because she had huge boobs under her kimono. She was also not wearing hakama (pants).
They also looked an awful lot like Sesshomaru.
"So it's true," the leader of the trio said in a cold voice. "The half-breed Inuyasha is your brother. And you have not yet slain him."
Sesshomaru turned to them, and regarded them coldly.
"You call me brother?" he demanded dangerously.
"I do," the leader said in a slow, eerily similar voice to Sesshomaru. "When Inutaisho discarded our mother, you mother as well, she wandered, hate twisting inside her. Eventually she came across a powerful neko demon, and together they produced us. I am the oldest and I am called Yasuo. My brother is Udo."
The demon wielding the orange power whip bowed ironically.
"Our sister is..."
"Kita," she interrupted her voice cold and harsh.
"We have heard rumours that our half brother, the dog, is shamed by a mutt bearing his line and we have journeyed to see if this is truly the case," Udo said, grim humour in his voice. "Would you care for some assistance, older brother?"
Sesshomaru sized up the three of them, and then turned back to Inuyasha, and Hiruka.
"It seems I have more siblings than I originally believed," he said serenely. "A pity. I trust you're here to get in my way as well? Well, that just means I have more of you to destroy!"
"Foolish elder brother," Kita scolded, approaching Sesshomaru with a sway to her hips. "We are not here to challenge you." She grazed the claws down his cheek, pressing against him.
Sesshomaru remained completely still, chanting in his head, 'Maybe if I don't move... she can't see me..."
Kita continued, now playing with his hair. "Quite the opposite. We are here to be of service to you. To aid in the destruction of the worthless mutt, or do whatever else you may require of us."
Sesshomaru gave his supposed half a sister a fish-eyed look.
"Are you coming on to me?" he demanded her.
"No, she's just a slut," Udo replied with a humorless grin and a shrug. "Cats; we're naturally promiscuous."
"Really?" this revelation greatly interested Miroku who had recovered from the beating he'd taken from Naraku's blast attack earlier.
Speaking of Naraku...
"Super-Extending-Spider-Arms!" Naraku bellowed the name of his attack.
Before his clawed fingers propelled along by his stretching limbs could rend flesh, a purple light flashed down, severing them.
"Ouch!" Naraku cried in pain. "Shoot!"
He eyed his severed arms, the elongated stumps spurting blood.
"Damn, I can't even pick them up!"
"Ha-ha Naraku!" A young woman with her hair pulled into two large fluffy pig tails and clothed in an incredibly short kimono now stood between Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Hiruka, Udo, Kita, Yasuo, Inuyasha's now fairly unimportant friends and Naraku's gang.
"I'm Kimiko!" she declared,. She looked no more than thirteen or fourteen, though the large glaive she wielded was large enough for a troll. "And I won't let you hurt my brothers, or my sister, or my brother's brothers and sister! Because family is the most important thing ever!"
"When I grow my arms back, I'm going to wring your little neck!" Naraku screamed furiously. "Kagura! Get my arms!"
"Sorry," Kagura was now seated on her feather, filing her nails and chewing bubble gum. She blew a bubble obnoxiously at Naraku. "I'm on break!"
"Kanna?" Naraku turned to the little girl.
She was oblivious to him as she simply stared into her mirror with great wide eyes. Unblinking, unmoving, unbreathing and unbelievably creepy.
"Someone pass me my arms!" Naraku pouted.
Kimiko turned around and grinned cheerily at the growing group behind her.
"Hey, Inuyasha!" she exclaimed. "Sesshomaru! I'm your younger sister!"
"But...you're a demon... dad died after I was born..." Inuyasha frowned.
"That's right Inuyasha," Kimiko agreed in a her cheerful voice. "But only half right! I'm not a youkai! I'm a hanyou! See?" she pulled her pigtails to the side to reveal two large ears which had blended almost perfectly in with her silver hair. "Only fourteen years ago, there was an uprising. Bandits allied with mountain trolls and tried to take over my mother's kingdom. Desperate, my mother, a miko, turned to the dark spirits. She raised the specter of your father from the dead to help her kingdom battle the bandits and mountain trolls. Inutaisho sired me with the miko Kamiki on the night they defeated the bandits. He's returned now to the land of the spirits, but I remained in my mother's belly until I was born. Now my mom's dead, and I need you to help catch her killers. Which is why I'm here. I suspect Naraku played a part in her untimely demise."
"Sure," Naraku pouted still without his arms. "Blame it all on the unarmed man!"
"I will also join your cause, sister," Hiruka declared.
She seemed much calmer and steadier than Inuyasha or Kimiko, much more inclined toward's Sesshomaru's serenity. "For the call of blood will not go unheeded while I still yet draw breath!"
"Yeah, you do that," Sesshomaru replied in an uncaring tone. "I'm going to kill Inuyasha now... or maybe Naraku..."
Sesshomaru squinted, pointing from Inuyasha to Naraku with the Tensaiga. "Eenie... meenie... miney... MO!" He frowned at the outcome and then continued. "My. Mother. Said. To. Kill. The. Very. Best. One. Cause. She. Was. A. Hateful. Per... ...Son. So. I'll. Kill. YOU!"
"M-me?" squeaked Boy-Kanna. "Bu-but I'm Naraku's human heart! And a mind reader."
"Yes, but your pointlessness offends me," Sesshomaru answered reasonably. "It's almost as if some greater power decided to throw you in to draw things out even longer and to cause further problems for Inuyasha."
He sighted along his swords blade and narrowed his eyes coldly.
"Now, die!" he whispered.
As he brought the arching sword down, several things happened at once.
Kagura blew an impressively sized bubble from her gum. Kanna became so comatose and freakish, she actually started leaking Creepy. Inuyasha, knowing that Sesshomaru still held the healing sword, followed Sesshomaru's movements with his own sword, to land a killing blow on Boy-Kanna since his brother wasn't going to. Hiruka, who had noticed the pink sword did not kill also prepared her ten foot katana for a fatal blow as well. Tasuo, Udo and Kita readied their poison whips to do Sesshomaru's bidding. Kimiko, who was just so frigging happy to join in the Dog-Demon games, also slashed with a powerful attack from her glaive. Kagome readied a sacred arrow and Shippou farted.
Powers surged and blinded all who stood there. The multicolours of each's individual unearthly powers blended, blasting into Boy-Kanna. The weird combination of Kagome's sacred arrow, the Dog-Demon powers and the Neko-Demon's whips, not to mention Kanna's Creepy and Shippou's gas caused a strange chain reaction which made Boy-Kanna implode. . . and rip a hole in the time space continuum.
"It's just as I feared," sighed a deep voice from their midst.
Everyone turned to stare at the tall lankly bespeckled demon. He had long silver hair, wore shimmering white robes, and carried a staff in one hand and a book in the other.
"And who the hell are you?" Miroku demanded him, startled to find the scholarly looking demon standing right next to him.
"I am Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's cousin, Katsu," the newly come demon answered as he shifted his staff to the crook of his arm and adjusted his glasses meditatively. "When Inutaisho became ruler of these lands, my father, driven mad with jealousy, sought to destroy your father and challenged him to a fight to the death for these lands."
He lapsed into silence, merely contemplating the Hole in Everything that had formed because of the weird combination of powers. It was a black mark in the air which caused everything around it to waver and crackle with strange black energy.
"And then what happened?" Sango prompted.
Katsu glanced at the demon slayer.
"He got his ass handed to him," Katsu responded. "Still..." he again turned back to the Hole in Everything, which no one else seemed concerned by, "Inutaisho felt loyalty to me, since I was pup, and so he provided for me all my life. He lead me away from the path of a warrior and instead encouraged me to become a scholar, so that I might not be a threat to his sons, but an asset."
"What about your mother?" Inuyasha demanded. "Couldn't she look after you?"
"She died," Katsu answered, his voice expressionless.
"Really?" Kimiko's eyes swam with tears for the tragedy of this newly discovered cousin. "Oh, my god, that's so sad! Was she killed by enemies? Mine was!"
"No," Katsu sighed, somewhat regretfully. "She died of the plague."
"I thought demons couldn't get sick though!" Miroku protested.
"The Demon plague," Katsu elaborated. "It's like the bubonic plague, only for demons and much, much worse."
"Um... Excuse me!" Naraku called from the other side of the Hole in Everything. His voice was snide, but sort of wounded. "Look sorry to interrupt but... BAD GUY PRESENT!"
"Yeah?" sneered Inuyasha. "What are you going to do? You don't have arms!"
Naraku's mouth fell open.
"Ouch!" he said, sounding genuinely hurt. "Ouch, Inuyasha!"
"Yeah, that was kind of outta line really," Kagome fretted. "I mean low blow."
"Shall we dispose of him for you, brother?" Kita offered Sesshomaru. "Shall I rip off Naraku's head, spill his guts and bring his body to you as a gift?"
Sesshomaru glanced at her.
"Go make out with the monk or something," he suggested.
Miroku's eyes brightened.
Kita also seemed to like this idea, because with a purr she advanced on Miroku.
"While she's distracted and the enemy is weak, we should destroy him," Udo said, reading his orange power-whip. "Strike while the rod is hot, so to speak!"
"Is your rod hot?" Kita could be heard, murmuring to Miroku.
Sango was gripping the hilt of her seldom used katana tightly, murder in her eyes and on her mind.
"Yeah, well bring it!" Naraku shouted threatening. "Cause we can take it! Right guys?" He looked around. "Guys?"
Kagura glanced at him. "Still on my break," she told him flatly.
"Kanna?" Naraku turned to the girl and cried in disgust. "Aw, Kanna you're getting Creepy over everything!"
Kanna did not reply.
"I would not recommend continuing this now," Katsu suggested. "For you see, that is a Hole in Everything. I have read about them in my studies. It shall, for a time, play with the temporal and physical world. Time and space will fold back upon this point and use it as an index until it rights itself."
Crickets could be heard chirping.
Katsu glanced around and realized he'd stumped the band.
"Some weird shit's about to go down," he translated.
"Oh," like a light bulb going on, understanding suddenly shone on everyone's face.
"So what kind of weird shit?" Miroku asked. He gasped suddenly as Kita's hand went under his robe.
"No idea," Katsu admitted.
"Wait a second!" Kagome cried out. "I see something! Moving!"
Indeed it was true, for out of the Hole in Everything, there appeared a figure. A person, a young man, dressed in a Japanese school uniform, with black hair, sporting white streaks in it landed on his hands and knees.
He glance dup and gasped in amazement.
"Mom? Dad?" he cried out, staggering a few steps forward. "You guys look so...so young!" He spun around and stared at his surroundings.
"Who's this tool?" Inuyasha asked.
The boy gasped.
"Dad," he cried out. "Don't you recognize me?" he took a few more steps forward. "It's me... Ichiro!"
"Ichiro?" Kagome demanded. "Inuyasha! You have a son?" she demanded furiously. "Sit boy!"
Inuyasha was slammed to the ground.
Ichiro gasped.
"The Word of Subjugation!" he exclaimed in amazement. "You told me about that! When you guys were..." he turned back and stared at the Hole in Everything. "Then he turned back to Kagome and Inuyasha, who lay moaning on the ground. "When you guys were younger, mom had this word of subjugation she used on you." Ichiro gulped. "I've gone back in time!"
It was only now that the silver hanyou ears in his hair became noticeable, carefully hidden in the white streaks.
Someone else stumbled through the Hole in Everything.
This time it was a young woman wearing a frighteningly short red sleeveless kimono. In fact, it looked more like someone had cut the arms off Inuyasha's Robe of the Fire Rat and decided it was suitable.
"Hiromi!" Ichiro exclaimed. "We've come back in time! And what did you do to Dad's robe? He's going to kill you!"
The silver haired demoness glanced in amazement at the full blooded demons and currently unimportant various humans before her.
"Mom?" she demanded eyeing Kagome. "Love the skirt! And since when are your boobs so perky?"
Kagome exclaimed in horror and crossed her arms over her chest.
Ichiro dragged his sister forward towards Inuyasha, who was eyeing the pair suspiciously. He could tell from their scent though that they were indeed his own children.
"You are mine, aren't you?" Inuyasha said wondering. He saw in their features his own likeness, and Kagome's.
Kagome too drifted over, curious as well.
"You're so young," Ichiro marveled.
Inuyasha saw what Hiromi was wearing and his eyes darkened dangerously.
"What the hell did you do to my robe?"
Hiromi tilted her chin up defiantly. "Made it better," she said argumentatively.
"You're so grounded!" Inuyasha growled threateningly.
"You're not my dad yet!" she replied, sticking her tongue.
Through the Hole in Everything, another person appeared.
This was a elegant looking young woman, with fair white skin, dark eyes and a very red mouth. She wore a billowing dark purple kimono and had voluminous black hair. She carried a delicate looking doll in her arms.
"Kiyoko," Ichiro whispered in what sounded almost like fear as the woman stepped closer. Her face was as serene as a mask's.
"You know her?" Kagome demanded.
"Yeah," Hiromi sighed, sticking her hip way out to one side and pouting.
Normally Miroku would be enjoying this amount of flesh displayed...but he was currently trying to wrestle Kita off, her advances having gotten a little rough.
"Jeez! No means no!" he grunted.
"I am indeed Kiyoko," the newcomer declared. Her voice was flat and serene. "And it is a strange torrent of fate that washes me upon this shore of time. That I should rest, as a fragile leaf against this rock of strife in the time stream to stand here before you, before my conception."
"You look really familiar," Inuyasha muttered, leaning forward. He exclaimed. "Hey, you've got golden eyes like me..."
"I have my father's eyes," Kiyoko told him in her solemn voice.
"Yeah, and they're kinda like mine..." Inuyasha agreed, really interested. He blinked. "You know who you remind me of? Kikyo!"
"As well I should," Kiyoko," answered. "For I am that miko's daughter. The fury that stained her heart at death pales before your face as the very moon pales before the sun. And as the moon is overcome by its better, so was my mother overcome by you. By moonlight, beneath a temple of trees you consummated the marriage of your souls."
"Wait a minute!" Kagome exclaimed. "You're Inuyasha's daughter with Kikyo?"
"I am," Kiyoko answered. "But the union of a demon and a dead woman brought forth strange forces. I am the Doll Sorceress. As I am the final blow to you, the final bloom of their love, I am too Kikyo's final doom. For you see, it was giving birth to me which finally killed Kikyo."
"Death in childbirth is terrible," Hiruka said in a saddened voice.
"Yes," Kiyoko agreed. "It was too much for her and under the pain, she cracked."
"Birthing pain has driven women mad before," Yasuo replied in a cold voice as if to say 'what makes you so special?'
"No," Kiyoko explained. "She cracked. She was made of clay and she cracked."
She tilted her head to one side.
"Of course, it did not help that I have a twin."
She stepped aside and looked expectantly into the Hole in Everything.
Behind her stepped a tall man, also wearing a purple kimono with voluminous dark hair. His eyes however were crimson red.
"Hey, that's me!" Naraku exclaimed, excitedly shuffling over, his arms forgotten like he'd been for half this story.
"Your son, Naoki," the man corrected in a deep voice. "The union of Demons and Dolls is complex. Somehow, though you had lain with Kikyo—"
Naraku exclaimed under his breath. "Knew I was gonna get some from her!"
"Before Inuyasha—"
"Even better!" he chortled gleefully.
Naoki continued, ignoring Naraku. "Kiyoko and I were born simultaneously. As twins, though with different fathers. It was you, Naraku, who raised us to be the ultimate weapons against your foe. Weapons we could not be."
Inuyasha was horrified to hear that he was going to sleep with Kikyo only after Naraku had. Kagome was horrified to find out Inuyasha was going to sleep with Kikyo at all.
"Why couldn't you kill them?" Naraku demanded with a whine.
"Because," Naoki answered, his red eyes suddenly burning. "I would not raise a hand against my love."
That said, he strode purposely past all others, knocking aside various newly introduced family members with dedicated purpose. Towards where Miroku was being pinned by Kita, trying to keep her hands out of his robe still.
"Miroku," Naoki called to the man on the ground in a strange emotional voice.
Miroku looked up anxiously.
"Ugh, look you're not really my type..." he explained with a weak sickly smile.
Naoki kicked Miroku in the side.
"Swine!" he spat and then swept around him to grab Sango and pull her against him.
"My love!" he bent his head and took her ear lobe between his teeth.
Sango, completely taken aback, did not have the fastest reaction time.
"My lovely Demon Slayer," Naoki's hands traveled over her as boldly as Miroku's were wont to do at times. "I know not what blessings caused the gilded fates to withdraw from others to give me such a gift, to see you here, now... fragile, trusting, untouched by the unworthy monk. Know that I shall not waste this opportunity to make you mine as you are meant to be."
He swept her into his arms, holding her close.
"Come," he told Sango, who was staring at him like a two headed... something that should only have one head. "Let us make mad monkey love upon yonder knoll and let our first child be conceived, not in five years, but now. For my desire for you is great and my patience is little!"
"Five years?" Sango demanded him. "If you're Naraku's kid..."
"They grow up so fast don't they?" Naraku sniffed, beaming like a proud mother. "It seems like only yesterday Boy-Kanna was a lump of my human heart, then a mind reading baby, and now look at him! He's been blasted all the way to oblivion!"
"I shall return after thoroughly ravishing Sango," Naoki promised. "For there is much I would ask you all. But for now, the heart that beats within me bids me claim my one-day bride."
"I don't really know you..." Sango was protesting as he carried her away.
"You will soon enough," Naoki replied without a care. "And we shall be married...in time." To the others he called out, "Look for me at sunrise on the seventh day! For I shall not be done until then!"
He then began briskly walking away to do adult things with Sango who was trying to reason with him, but who wasn't really putting up much of a fight to be completely honest with you.
"Sango!" Miroku protested.
"You have me now!" Kita purred, violating Miroku.
"I can't believe you have a kid with Kikyo!" Kagome exclaimed at Inuyasha, tears burning her eyes.
"I can't believe Naraku had a kid with anything!" Inuyasha admitted.
Next out of the Hole in Everything stumbled a young woman with pale silver hair which she wore in a high pony tail. She had blood red eyes and carried a bladed fan.
"Well," she said in an unimpressed voice. "This is nice..."
It wasn't hard to guess her parentage. She was a mirror image of Kagura, though she bore stripes upon her cheeks.
"I suppose you're mine?" Sesshomaru asked her.
"Yes," the girl answered. "I am Kazumi." She eyed everyone warily, pacing away from the Hole in Everything. "Naraku will soon kill Kagura, my mother. But not before you and she have..." she trailed off and quirked an eyebrow. "Well, you know." She opened her fan with a snap and peered at everyone over the blades almost coyly. "Of course upon her death, my mother was freed and she became the free wind. I too became the wind. I followed you on your travels and when I was strong enough, I wove myself a body, the body that had once grown within my mother's womb. It was years after when I had the strength to materialize in front of you. You knew I was your own and took me in."
"I have a habit of doing that," Sesshomaru admitted, glancing back at Rin who was playing a fun game of Let's Roast Jaken With His Own Staff!
Kagura probably could have used the heads up about her impending death, but she'd left a note on her feather that said "gone to lunch," and was nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly, three rough looking boys stumbled through the Hole in Everything. They all had Kagome's black hair, and wore them in pony tails, though they dressed in wolf skins.
"Hey, mom!" the tallest called to Kagome.
"Who are you?" Kagome demanded. She shrugged, deciding that since they'd called her mom, she had a good guess. "You don't look a thing like Inuyasha..."
"'Course we don't!" the third one laughed. "Kouga's our dad! Remember? You and Inuyasha separated for three years and you hooked up with Kouga!"
Ichiro was nodding sadly.
"That was a really hard time on everyone," he sighed.
"The counselor at schools says that's why I'm an attention seeker," Hiromi pipped up helpfully.
"We're Koji, Koichi and Kouja!" the youngest looking one said with a grin. They all had Kouga's mannerisms.
"We separate?" Inuyasha demanded.
"Don't worry," Hiromi drawled. "You guys got back together! And had a couple more kids. Look! Here they come now!"
Twin boys that looked eerily similar and bore striking resemblances to Inuyasha with Kagome's eyes, and another girl, that looked exactly like Kagome, only with canine ears.
"Madoka and the twins Seiichi and Seigi," Ichiro explained.
"I'm going to get a mocha cappuccino," Naraku decided since he obviously didn't have a point anymore. "Come on, Kanna."
Right behind Kagome and Inuyasha's latest batch of kids, a boy and his younger sister stumble out of the Hole in Everything. Both had brown hair and open, slightly dopey grins but Kagome's features.
"Hey, mom!" the boy called out embarrassingly. "We're Hojo's kids!"
"Hiro and Haru," Hiromi explained. "Same thing as Koji, Koichi and Kouja, only this time with Hojo." She spied Inuyasha's face becoming incredulous. "No worries dad, you guys got back together again. If you would just control your temper..."
Next out of the Hole in Everything was a busty red-head.
"Daddy!" she cried cheerfully spying Inuyasha. "Hi!"
She skipped over.
"When you and mom split up and she slept with Kouga, you slept with Ayame, my mom. Weird huh?"
Inuyasha stared at the wolf demon with a cocked eyebrow.
Next, out of the Hole in Everything, over twenty silver haired children of various ages stepped out. All had slender builds and crescent moons on their foreheads, and fluffy things on their shoulders.
"Wow," everyone blinked at this sizable brood.
"Dad," drawled Kazumi, snapping her fan shut. "Allow me to introduce you to your other children."
"Good lord I'll be busy in the future," Sesshomaru remarked with some expression on his face.
Expressions were so rare on his face, no one knew exactly what it was.
"Well, Kagura was mostly to tide you over until Rin grew up," Kazumi shrugged. "But once she his sixteen..." Kazumi laughed. "Boy, lemme tell you!"
She indicated the twenty some offspring of Sesshomaru, who all stood fairly expressionlessly. Male and female; sometimes it was harder to tell which was which.
"So I did all that with Rin?" Sesshomaru wondered. He cast his glance back at Rin, who was still eight years old in his time line, and oblivious to what was going on. He nodded his approval and then turned back to Kazumi.
"You want to know their names?" she asked him.
"I'll find out when they're born," Sesshomaru shrugged disinterestedly. "Why ruin the surprise?" He turned to the children. "Kids, go pick flowers," he suggested.
They dispersed to do so.
All but one; a son, he thought. One of the older ones. He strode over to where Inuyasha's children stood.
Hiromi surged forward, seductively.
Sesshomaru's son and Inuyasha's daughter were suddenly in a clinch. They clutched at each other, kissing passionately.
Everyone else just stared.
Finally the lovers parted and turned to their respective parents.
"This is my love, Tamakimaru," Hiromi explained. "Your hate for one another is still so strong in the future that you objected to our love."
"I'm sure hate isn't the real reason they objected," Kagome began, with a sick smile. "After all, you're cousins..."
"And Tamakimaru and I had to keep our love secret and when I became pregnant with his child we were cast from your homes and shamed. I stand before you now, your younger selves, pleading for our love. Don't let your hate consume you until you can no longer even allow your children to love. Do not turn us into the demon Romeo and Juliet!"
"Brother," Sesshomaru called to Inuyasha. "I'm almost certain we could join forces at least long enough to say, as a united front, 'ew.'"
Hirmi and Tamakimaru then stumbled out of the field, kissing and grappling with each other, fumbling to tear the other's clothing off.
"So gross..." Inuyasha sighed.
"So," Uncle Bob had stumbled across the scene. The large demon bit into an apple and balanced a huge battle axe on his shoulder, eyeing what unfolded before him with skeptical eyes. "What's happening, exactly?"
"Nothing too unusual, Uncle Bob," Sesshomaru explained. "Rip in the time space continuum. Standard stuff really."
Uncle Bob nodded and kept watching with interest.
From within the Hole in Everything, out stumbled a sexy looking fox demoness.
"Shippou's daughter, I presume?" Kagome demanded the demoness, trying desperately to forget about everything she was learning right now.
"No," the demoness answered. "Actually I'm Nana, and I'm Inuyasha's daughter."
"But you're a fox," Inuyasha protested.
"When Kagome died, as all humans must eventually," Nana explained in a cool voice, "you met my mother, the powerful fox demoness. Sparks flew and here I am."
Kagome stared at Inuyasha in open hurt.
"You got over me?" she demanded in a teary voice.
"Got over Kikyo, didn't I?" Inuyasha muttered under his breath.
"What?"Kagome's voice had an edge.
"Ugh... I can't imagine I would!" he exclaimed loudly with a panicky laugh.
"Sit boy," Kagome pouted.
Inuyasha was slammed into the ground.
The final form to come through the Hole in Everything was a stooped, skinny figure clad all in baggy red clothing.
It leaned heavily on a knobby cane and shuffled forward.
"Oh, my god, Inuyasha..." Kagome whispered in disbelief. "It's... it's you!"
"That's right, Kagome," the ancient hanyou wheezed squinting. "Ah! You did always have the best boobs of all, Kagome!"
He shuffled closer and closer to Inuyasha, looking him up and down with critical eye before he reached into a pocket and produced a package.
He shoved the brand-new box of Trojan Condoms into Young-Startled-Inuyasha's hands.
"For the love of God," Old-Inuyasha wheezed. "Wrap that rascal up!"