My Way

Ch. 9

Joe stood there and listened to the priest and thought of all the times they were so called lucky through the years. He looked out into the crowd and saw a sea of familiar faces.

Kelley was standing behind Lisa, her sunglasses hiding her eyes. God how she loved Nash.

Joe shined a slight smile as he caught a glimpse of Pepe standing next to Big Tiny. The first person to ever throw up in the Cuda.Jake Cage stood behind them, a stone cold look on his face. Joe thought he might have saw a slight tear forming in his eyes.

Joe wasn't sure but made out the tall blonde woman next to Pepe as Tamara. AJ was standing next to Bryn, his head bowed down. Leo was standing with his aunt who was taking care of him; Joe had just met them before the ceremony. Boz stood with his chin straight up as if he was ready to fight.

Tony B. was standing near Bettina, who seemed to be shaking from tears. David Katz had on his sunglasses as if trying to ask conspicuous with his group of agents, they may not have agreed with Nash, but they respected him.

Then his eyes moved back to Tamara who he realized was taking the chance of a lifetime at coming to this and made a mental note to find her in the future. Behind her, he could make out even more, hundreds of people who were there to pay Nash the last respect. It brought tears to Joe's eyes, again, and he couldn't stop thinking about the number of people, how many lives Nash had touched. All those people. And he remembered every one of them...

"Joe! Time to get outta here!" he could hear Nash's yell over the flames, and he tightened his grip on the boys arm, ready to get the hell out of the room and out of the building. It was getting way too hot in there for his liking, and he wanted to be outside when those walls decided they were ready to crumble.

So Joe checked back with Nash, whom he saw picking up the girl in his arms, carrying her securely, before he turned around and headed for the door, crawling, rather than walking. Joe and the boy had to stay low, because on the ground it felt like it was less hot and also easier to breath. He could see Nash coming after them, also making their way over to the door, maybe four or five meters behind him.

His partners progress was slowed down, though, because of the extensive flames that were now covering more and more of the room, and by the time Nash had almost reached the door, it was so thick with smoke in there, that Joe had trouble to make out his partners silhouette.

But the second he saw him again, at least his outline and for a second also Nash's soot covered face, sweaty, but with a sparkling bright gleam in his eyes, he no longer doubted that they still had a chance. Looking back every now and then, Joe crawled forward, out the door and into the hallway, shoving the boy towards the stairs, which were almost blocked by the fire by now.

But as long as they stayed on the far right side of the wall side, it was still possible to get through. He looked back once more, expecting to see Nash right behind him in the hallway. But there was nobody. Just the darkness, shattered by red hot fiery flames shooting out of the other rooms on the right side. But on the left, towards the room he had just left, there was nothing.

Just darkness, smoldering blackness. He was about to go back to see what was keeping Nash so long, when he saw the silhouette hurriedly bolting out the half collapsing door, into the comparably safe hallway, where it landed on the floor. Hard. But safe.

'Jesus, Nash, don't ever scare me again like that', it shot through Joe's mind, and he would have sworn that he had felt his heart stop there for a second. And then it did.

The silhouette was now getting up from the floor, but even standing the person in Nash's jacket looked small. Too small. That was the kid! The girl...

"Nash come on, where are you man..." Joe mumbled nervously, unconsciously biting his lip while turning his head back and forth, looking for the exit down the stairs, and back to the dark hallway, where his partner would be coming. Had to be coming. Just had to.

The little girl came staggering towards him, blocking his view, when she reached him, and as the light of the flames shone on her, he could see her shaking. But this time it wasn't only fear.

It was a blank look in her frightened little face, one that showed panic, and sadness, and the knowledge of having seen something that no young girl, nor anybody else should ever have to see. When she reached him, and shook in fear, he looked her straight in the eye, his own voice now filling with panic.

"Where is he?" Getting no answer, he asked again, harder, the smoke biting in his eyes, filling them with tears that burned fiery hot.

"Where is he??", he shouted, and only the shout of his voice, loud enough to break through to her, got her to speak, while everything around them seemed ready to crash.

"...he pushed me out...out the door..." she whimpered, shedding tears, too many to wipe them away with her little hand.

'The door', his brain caught on, remembering, as the pieces of understanding fell into place all of a sudden. 'The door...'. He'd seen the frame collapsing when she got out... 'Just when they must have been at the door, getting out of the burning room, when it all came down.' he realized, yet feeling unable to register what that meant.

"Naaash!!", his sudden shout shook the walls, as he screamed for his partner, hoping, no praying that he would get an answer, that Nash would shout back at him, anything, any answer.

"Nash! ... Nash!!", he called out loud, his voice breaking, as the burning tears in his eyes reminded him of the fire still racing around them, but not keeping him from moving inch for inch back towards the room, shouting louder against the fire, his calls echoing in the empty hallway, slicing through the flames, being carried over the distance of the hall, but getting no answer.

No answer... Just then the dry snapping sound of another cracking beam at the end of the corridor made his head jerk up, then another crashing ceiling close by forced him to duck, and take the girls arm, shoving her down the stairs along with the boy, urging them to run, run, as fast as they could, as the rest of the hallway collapsed behind them, and Joe had to retreat as well, his hand covering his eyes to shield them from the heat that waltzed down the corridor towards them, forcing him down the stairs, no way other than downstairs, away from the collapsing beams above them.

Once downstairs he called for the two children to run for the door, where he could see some firefighters working their way inside, probably to get them out before the house would come down completely. He looked back at the stairs, not willing to run after them, refusing to follow the yells of the firemen, that shouted at him to get the hell out of there.

He just looked at the stairs, not able to run outside, yet kept away from the stairs by the raging fire that captured the whole staircase. He was held in place, frozen, unable to move one way or the other, and struggled hard when two of the firemen came running at him, overpowering and pulling him away from the stairs, that came down as a burning wreckage right in front of them at this very moment, forcing even the firefighters to duck and eventually pull out, with Joe held tightly in between them, out onto the street, away from the collapsing corridor, and the smoldering blackness of the burnt out revolving door.

The same door he had come in only minutes ago. Had it been minutes? He didn't know. He didn't want to know, either. Still staring at the revolving door, waiting for someone else to come out that door, he waited breathlessly, standing there with his shoulders hunched over, coughing badly and with smoke burning in his eyes, he stared at the one way out. The only way out.

Waiting. Desperately waiting.

Fearing, even knowing, yet not wanting to know. Not understanding what he couldn't understand. What he didn't want to know. Not able to voice the unspeakable.

And the only thing he could see was the door. No voices. Nothing else got through to him. Not Evan's hand on his arm, or the other people behind them. Nor Harvey's words ringing in his ear, talking about something that sounded almost like 'where is Nash'. He didn't hear any of it. And he didn't see the worried glance passed between Harvey and Evan.

Just the door. That was all he saw. All he could think of. All he could feel.