Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all.
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I feel very special. This chapter is hilarious (well I think it is, and sometimes I'm not funny). // Sorry guys! LMFAO. I'm a total noodle! It's spelt José, duh. But anyhoo, enjoy chapter 2. (That rhymed!)
Just a pinch of nuttiness
Chapter 2
Haircut
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rose screamed at full volume. Everyone in the restaurant dropped whatever they were doing.
"ROSE! Your hair is on FIRE!" I yelled.
"I can kind of see that, Bella!" She retorted.
"John to the rescue!" José came running in with a fire extinguisher.
"Someone help her!" Alice screamed.
José sprayed, at full force, the fire extinguisher. It was out in a second. However, Rosalie's hair looked horrible, for once.
"Are you okay?" Alice and I asked in chorus.
"Hmph!" Rosalie said. Her face expression was furious.
Alice and I looked at each other, and we started laughing. Actually, we were going into hysterics. That was the most hilarious thing on the face of the earth. Even though the earth doesn't have a face.
"Rose…rose…you…look…HAHAHA!" I was gasping for air.
Alice was doing the exact same thing. Actually most of the restaurant started laughing. Rose took off running to the ladies room. We ran after her.
"Thanks José for putting out the fire. That was the funniest thing that we've ever seen in our lives. Is there anything we can do to repay you?" Alice asked in a sarcastic voice. José took it seriously.
"You can call me by my NAME. John." He said quietly.
"Sure, José!" I replied.
He stared at me then started running and crying towards the exit. The whole way he was screaming: "John! It's John!" He pulled out his cell phone and started whining to someone named Frank.
"Sorry! It was a habit!" I yelled out.
I looked at Alice. We shrugged.
Alice walked swiftly to me and whispered in my ear.
"I knew he was gay. Pay up." She said.
"Oh fine." I handed her 20$. "But I really thought he was just well dressed for a guy. And that he gelled his hair because…CRAP! I am stupid." I said.
"Oh yes you are." Alice countered, not caring about my feelings.
"Thanks." I mumbled. "You've insulted me twice in one day. A new record. Congratulations!" I retorted.
"Thanks." She replied. She obviously only heard the last part.
Alice has what I call selective hearing. She hears the things she wants to and tunes out those she doesn't. It gets quite irritating at times.
"Alice! We forgot about Rose!" I cried.
"Oh, shi-crap! Let's go!" She answered.
She changed her word mid-sentence because we were, after all, in a restaurant full of people watching our every move. Ya, this was a great idea of mine…
We walked into the ladies room watching a torn Rosalie look at her half burnt hair. One side was short while the other flowed to her waist in soft waves. She was tearing and started bawling. Rosalie wasn't one to cry, and we all knew that. This must be reallyserious.
"Rose? Are you okay?" I asked softly.
She was taking short intakes of breath and was almost hyperventilating.
"L-look…at…my…h-hair!" She started a whole new round of crying.
"It's all right, sweetie. It'll be okay." Alice said, to calm Rose down.
It did not work very well.
"No it won't! My h-hair is r-r-ruined! It looks h-h-h-h-h-h-orri…" She was now almost to hysteria. The tears would not slow, however they came faster.
I walked over to her and started gently patting her hair.
"Do you want a haircut?" I asked, knowing she would give in.
She simply nodded her head and was now only sobbing.
"Do you want to go to the new professional salon?" Alice asked.
"Y-yes please…" Rosalie sobbed.
"Alright then, it's settled. Rose, you'll be getting a brand new haircut!" I feigned my joy, but Rosalie bought it.
"And it'll look superbly fantastical!" Alice added for Rose's benefit.
I rolled my eyes at Alice's new adjective. She always made up new words or jokes that were not useful at all. Why she did it?
Because it's Alice, I responded to myself. She has her own little world…
Alice called a waiter over and wanted the check, but they said it was on the house, since, well, they burnt someone's hair off.
So, we left to the salon with an ecstatic Alice and a sorrowful Rosalie. And me…I'm not sure what I was. Maybe, bored? Things like this got kind of, predictable when you hung out with Alice and Rose.
xXxXxXxXx
We walked in, arms chained together, like a little gang. It was actually pretty funny. Imagine three grown girls skipping into a salon with their arms linked. Quite hilarious.
Anyhow, we asked for Antonio, a professional hair dresser, to cut Rose's hair. He was super excited. He always wanted to cut her hair but Rosalie would never let him. Watching his face light up at the thought of cutting her hair was so amusing…
However, when we showed him the crime, he gasped in horror. Rose's hair right now was a nightmare for all people at the salon. She looked down in shame.
I patted here back. "It's alright, Rose. Everyone has bad hair days."
"Not as bad as that." Some obnoxious boy snickered. I went over and smacked his shoulder. He was really burly. Dark, curly hair too. Definitely Rosalie's type. But after what he just said, she would never talk to him. His loss.
Rosalie was about to say something, but when she turned around, surprisingly she didn't snicker back. She stood, wide eyed, like a lost puppy, just staring at him and his buffness. He look perturbed for some reason I don't know, but then smiled back, a mischievous smile.
He walked over.
"Hi, my name is Emmett. Sorry about that comment, you are stunning. And what is your name?" He suddenly took a polite tone. I wonder why…
"Uhm…my name is, well…" She stammered.
Rosalie never stuttered. She must REALLY like this guy. Whoa.
Alice must've thought what I did because she had the exact same expression of disbelief on her face. It suddenly washed away and was replaced by blazing determination.
"Her name is Rosalie. But we call her Rose. Oh, and if you're wondering what happened to her hair, it got burnt by a flambé. Different? I know. Here's her number if you want to know any other crazy things she's done."
Did I ever mention Alice talked too much?
Rosalie stared after her with an open-mouth, but, as soon as this "Emmett" looked her way, she suddenly stood up straight.
"So you like to do crazy things?" Emmett said with a wicked smile.
"Definitely." She grinned back, using her most attractive voice.
"Well, then, I might just have to see one of these stunts. What do you say? Friday, 7PM. I'll call you." He was so determined.
At least he was polite. I guess.
They we're looking at each other when suddenly Antonio broke in.
"Enough of this!" He said, with a thick European accent and a clap of his hands. "Time to start the haircut!"
He shoved Rosalie into a spinning bright red chair and began searching for his scissors. Rose gave us a look of pure fear.
All of a sudden, Emmett strolled up behind her and took her by the hand. She blushed.
SHE BLUSHED!
"Don't worry. You'll look incredible with anything he does to your hair." He whispered in her ear.
She looked up at him and smiled shyly.
"Thanks." She mumbled. She was totally dazed.
A couple of hours later…"All done!" Antonio screamed. "You look terrific, girl!" He squealed.
Alice and I suppressed a laugh. Not at Rose's hair, that looked amazing, but at Antonio's, well…queerness. I let out a small giggle this time.
Rosalie frowned. "Does it look that bad?" She murmured.
"No, darling, I said it was te-rri-fic!" Antonio whined. He was so funny!
"Well, can I see it?" She asked, annoyed now.
"Oh, right." He spun the chair around. "Voila!" He screamed.
Rosalie was shocked.
"You don't like?" Antonio asked disappointingly.
"No, I…I love it! It's so me! It's perfect! Thank you so much!" She jumped up and gave Antonio a little kiss on both cheeks.
Emmett was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, waiting for Rosalie, having already finished his trim.
"Emmett, do you like it?" Rosalie asked timidly.
Emmett suddenly woke from his daydreaming. His head snapped up. He looked over Rosalie and got the purest look of love on his face.
"You look…beautiful." He said.
Rosalie blushed deeper. What, was she turning into me now? I thought I only blushed like that…
Snapping out of my confounded thoughts, I really looked at Rose's new hairdo.
It was remarkable. The short bob cut complimented and astonishingly enhanced her cheekbones. The short at the back, longer in the front style looked amazing. Her hair was pin-straight, but still soft. Antonio put some golden-honey highlights and low lights that blended right in. I was extremely jealous. She looked even better.
"Rosalie, you're even prettier than before. No offence." I remarked.
"None taken. And, I know! I look pretty damn hot, don't I?" Rosalie smirked.
"Even better…" Emmett murmured, I suppose unconsciously because we all looked and him and he muttered under his breath what I thought was: "Shit, did I say that out loud?"
Alice laughed. Everyone else joined in except Emmett who looked pretty uncomfortable.
I glanced at my watch out of habit.
"Time to go!" Alice exclaimed. And right on time, because suddenly a heard of squealing girls and guys came running in for the new job available.
Sometimes it seemed as though she could see the future. She knew the exact times when to leave. It was really strange.
"Alright," I started, stretching. "Let's get going, Rose."
"Do we have to? It's still so early." She said this while looking at Emmett the whole time.
"Yes." Alice said firmly. She had this rule to play hard to get. It was a stupid rule.
"Fine." Rosalie sighed. She obviously really liked this Emmett.
Emmett whispered something in her ear that made her giggle.
"Actually, you two go ahead. I'll catch up in a minute." She said, a smile in her voice.
"Oh…okay. Have fun." Alice smirked.
Rosalie didn't glare like she would have. She actually smile back, a little more evil then intended, I think.
Those are my best friends for you. Oh well.
As Alice and I walked out I could distinctively see Emmett put his arm around her shoulders and enforce her into a tight bear hug.
Alice could only hear Rosalie's laugh; the only laugh that sounded so angelic.
"I bet they're having fun." Alice smirked.
"Watch, Rosalie is probably going to kiss him and tell us about it in 3…2…1…" I checked my watch to demonstrate the point.
As I predicted, Rosalie came screeching to us.
"OH-MY-GOD! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?" she said excitedly.
"See, what did I tell you?" I said, smugly.
"How did you know that?" Alice was totally gobsmacked.(A/N: kay, this word was just a synonym for shocked, but I thought it sounded pretty cool.)
"Because me and Rose speak to each other telepathically. Duh." I said this like it was obvious.
"What?!" Alice said, dumbfounded again. "Why can't I do that?" She had an enormous pout on her face.
"Because," I started, "Only Rose and I have the abilities to do it. And we can do this." I did a really epic hand move that only Rose and I know how to do. Alice stared at me, and then attempted the same move. I chortled.
"No, Al, it only works with me and Rose. Sorry." I apologized. Then I chuckled. She stared angrily at me. I smiled angelically back.
"Okay ENOUGH!" Rose said. "I want to tell you guys about my kiss!" She whined.
Alice and I started laughing. "Alright, alright. Go ahead."
"Okay, well, Emmett asked if he could walk me to the car, so I agreed, right?"
"Mhm." Alice said. "Go on." I encouraged
"Kay, so I said yes. And then I found out he likes the same things as me and everything! We are like made for each other, girls! Okay so then we were walking and he opened the door for me. I thought, what a gentleman. Then, as we walked outside, there was a gentle breeze. I felt my hair swish around my shoulders and I shivered. He offered to warm me up and I gladly accepted. You still with me?"
"Yes, yes! CONTINUE!" Alice almost screamed. She was as engrossed in the story as I was.
"Okay, okay," giggled Rosalie. "So anyway, he gave me such a close hug that I could literally feel his abs through his thin shirt. OHMYGOSH girls his body felt amazing!" She shivered voluntarily at the memory, and we giggled.
"I'm sure he had the same reaction." I joked.
"You think?" Rose asked, amazed.
"Yeah, absolutely!" Alice said.
"Anyhow, when he let go, I felt my lips pull into a small pout. He lifted my chin and looked deeply into my eyes. He let a small smile escape onto his lips, and he started to lean in. I was shocked. I leaned in too, and then we kissed the best kiss I have ever had in my life.
"He was so good. The best kisser I have ever met. It was amazing, it started gentle at first then his unbelievingly soft lips became urgent and…well that's all. We said goodbye, and promised to meet up tomorrow. I really, really like him." Rosalie smiled the biggest and purest smile I have ever seen. She was beaming.
"Do you love him?" Alice asked, very seriously now.
"I think I might." She admitted.
Alice smirked. "I'm so happy for you." I said, very truthfully.
"Thanks. I never thought I would ever meet someone so special to me…" She drifted off.
"Kay, let's get going." Alice said.
As we walked out, Rosalie looked once more to where Emmett was standing. They smiled for an instance, and we left.
Yay! Awesome chapter, eh? Sorry it took so long to write. But it's posted. REVIEW PLEASE! It inspires me ! The telepathically thing goes out to my best friends, because that happened :) : elise-marieCullen♥, MissJessCullen, obvioustwilightlover. Love you guys!
LexiCullen♥