A/N: Yes, I know, another chapter! I bet you're all asking "When will this story ever end?" Well the end is near, I assure you. Anyways, I'd just like to thank Persephone-Atrus-Remy for letting me use "Test 1, 2, 3" in this chapter. Thanks! Okay, hope you enjoy.
Chapter Four
Roger and Joanne sat eyeing the door of the Ten-Minute Break room carefully, each with a fierce glare plastered on their face.
"They've been in there a long time,"Roger commented.
"Tell me about it,"Joanne agreed, crossing her arms, eyes not leaving the door. Benny, who was yet again left out of any and all stories, frowned at his two glaring companions.
"What's the matter with you two?"he asked.
"We got another Mark/Maureen this morning,"Roger replied.
"They've become a little too popular for our liking,"Joanne added.
"I would imagine,"Benny said, nodding. "Well it's not like it means anything, right? I mean, they're just stories."
"Yeah. Just stories where they happen to be hugging,"Joanne snapped.
"And kissing."
"And holding hands."
"And fondling each other!"
"And making out!"
"And doing God-knows-what else with MY boyfriend!"
"What about MY girlfriend?!"
"Hey, hey. Relax you two,"Benny commanded. "You're getting all worked up over nothing. Mark and Maureen were never even really together, remember? It's was only mentioned in the play, therefore it never actually happened."Roger and Joanne both sighed.
"He's got a point,"Roger admitted.
"Yeah. I know. We're just over-reacting,"Joanne confirmed.
"ATTENTION! TEN-MINUTE BREAK FOR THE FOLLOWING STORIES: CATS, WICKED, SWEENEY TODD, JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR, THE PRODUCERS, and RENT."
Roger and Joanne both leapt up as the door opened and all the characters from Cats, Wicked, Sweeney Todd, Jesus Christ Superstar and The Producers came waltzing out, followed by Collins and Angel. Roger and Joanne exchanged nervous glances.
"Hey guys!"Collins greeted enthusiastically.
"Where are Mark and Maureen?!"Roger and Joanne demanded.
"Well gee, it's nice to see you too,"Angel huffed.
"They've been obsessing over this all morning,"Benny assured them.
"Too bad we missed that,"Collins said sarcastically, joining Benny at the small table under the RENT sign indicating their section of the room.
Then Mark and Maureen came out the door, laughing and talking. Roger and Joanne were beside them in a flash.
"What took you?"Roger demanded immediately.
"Yeah honey bear, where've you been?"Joanne asked, leaning in close to Maureen's face.
"There was an epilogue,"Maureen replied casually.
"That was one heck of a story, huh?"Mark commented with a grin. Maureen giggled.
"It sure was,"she agreed. "We have such good times, don't we Mark?"
"The best,"Mark insisted. And the two shared a laugh, thoroughly annoying their significant others.
"I missed you, Mark,"Roger insisted, trying to bring Mark's attention back to him.
"Aw, thanks Roger,"Mark replied simply. "Hey, are those muffins at our table?"
"Oh my God!"Maureen squealed. "Remember that story?"
"Yeah!"And the two burst into hysterical laughter again, running to the bowl of muffins. Roger and Joanne exchanged glares.
"Screw over-reacting,"Joanne declared.
"Amen to that,"Roger replied, as he and Joanne exchanged a high-five.
"Hey, where's Mimi?"Angel asked suddenly.
"Wasn't she waiting with Roger, Joanne and Benny?"Collins asked.
"She wasn't here,"Benny replied.
"Well she wasn't in any of the stories,"Angel said.
"Are you serious? Are we down another character?"Maureen whined.
"I don't think I'd say that..."Collins remarked suddenly.
Everyone looked to where Collins was staring. There was Mimi, sitting on Jesus's lap, twirling his beard and giggling like a little girl.
"Oh God! MIMI!"Angel went running over quickly as Roger and Benny tried to stifle their laughter.
"Leave it up to Mimi to become the new Satan,"Mark sighed.
"They always predicted Satan would rise from the RENT corner,"Collins agreed.
"Bye Jesus! CALL ME!"Mimi called as Angel dragged her back to the RENT table.
"Stop that! Do you know what happened to the last girl who had Jesus call her? She ended up dressed like a man and fighting with the French army,"Angel scolded. "Now leave Jesus alone before Mary Magdalene comes after you."
"I just want to connect with our Lord,"Mimi insisted.
"Then get down on your knees,"Benny replied.
"Benny!"Angel shrieked, shocked.
"What? I meant to pray,"Benny insisted.
"So Mark, how was your morning?"Roger asked, nearly sitting on top of Mark in an attempt to put some distance between him and Maureen.
"Fantastic!"Mark replied. "Maureen and I had at least four stories this morning, and all of them were just hilarious. You should have been there, Roger, it was a great time."
"Hey Mark, remember that story "Test 1, 2, 3"?"Maureen said, leaning around Roger to talk to Mark.
"Yeah! That one was great!"Mark laughed.
"Oh God, I nearly wet myself it was so hysterical!"The two burst into laughter just thinking about the story, causing Roger and Joanne to nearly explode.
"That's it,"Roger declared, grabbing Mark's scarf.
"Roger? What are you doing?"Mark asked, confused.
"It's time for Mark/Roger cliche number ten,"Roger replied, tying the scarf around Mark's wrist and yanking him away from Maureen.
"Aw, did Roger finish the list of Mark/Roger cliches without me?"Angel asked, pouting.
"Don't worry, there will be many more to come,"Collins assured her.
"It's getting closer to Christmas. That means there'll be a lot more snowball fight stories,"Maureen pointed out.
"And Hanukkah stories,"Mimi added. "People seem to think Mark's religious heritage is extremely funny."
"I know, how many Bar Mitzvah's have we been to over the past few months?"Collins agreed.
"Let's celebrate Kwanza this year!"Maureen cried excitedly. The others all eyed her for a moment. Then Angel shrugged.
"We're bohemians. We can do whatever the hell we want,"she decided. Then she frowned. "Hey, why do author's always refer to me in female pronouns? I'm a drag queen, I'm not ACTUALLY a girl."
"Well, to be fair, we all call you 'she' in the play/movie,"Collins pointed out.
"Did I ever get a say in that? Did anyone bother to ask me which pronouns I'd rather be referred to with? DOES ANYBODY CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS?!"Angel bellowed.
"Would you rather be called 'he'?"Joanne asked.
"Oh God no, that's way too masculine,"Angel replied, disgusted. Joanne was about to argue but Collins just shook his head.
"Don't bother,"he said.
Suddenly a little boy on a broom came whizzing by over their heads, nearly knocking Angel's wig off.
"Hey! Watch it!"she screeched.
"Was that...Harry Potter?"Benny asked, frowning. Collins sighed.
"Unfortunately,"he replied.
"What's he doing here? He's not a play, or a musical,"Benny pointed out.
"People have been writing RENT/Harry Potter Crossovers lately,"Collins explained.
"You know, it wouldn't be so bad if he weren't such a fucking little diva,"Maureen snapped viciously. "He thinks he's better than us because he's sold millions of copies all over the world. Well, Harry Potter, PEOPLE LOVE RENT!"
"Maureen, RENT is one of the most controversial musicals of the 1990's,"Collins remarked. Maureen paused.
"Well at least we're not witches..."she growled.
"Has anyone seen Mark and Roger since their last irrelevant piece of dialogue?"Joanne asked suddenly, looking around for their friends.
"Hm. Now that you mention it, they seem to have disappeared completely from this story,"Benny realized.
"Wouldn't be the first time. Characters are always randomly popping in and out of stories, some never coming back again,"Joanne explained.
"Whatever happens to all those OC's when their stories end?"Mimi wondered. "Because I have a collection of straight, gorgeous boyfriends somewhere."
"I heard they get their own room with a snack bar and a hot tub,"Maureen said.
"No way!"Angel gasped.
"Well I heard they disappear forever if they're not brought back for a sequel,"Benny said.
"No way!"Angel gasped.
"Well I heard they're really just holograms used in the stories and then they blow up when the story ends,"Maureen countered.
"No-"
"OKAY! We get it. There are lots of theories about what happens to OC's when the stories are over,"Collins interrupted. "But that still doesn't solve the problem of our missing friends."
"Oh yeah...I forgot about them,"Angel said.
"Maybe they're in the OC room with the snack bar and the hot tub!"Maureen cried.
"That's not real,"Benny snapped.
"It is too! I've seen it!"Maureen lied.
"Hey! Guys! Let's try to stay focused here,"Collins insisted.
"What's going on?"Everyone turned to see Mark and Roger, sitting at the table as if nothing had happened.
"Where have you two been?"Collins demanded.
"Sitting right here. The author just didn't have anything quirky and funny for us to say, so we were temporarily left out of the story to give you guys something to talk about,"Roger explained.
"And to give Joanne something to say for once,"Mark added.
"Aw, thanks guys,"Joanne replied.
"But now that we're back, we're going to take all attention away from Joanne again,"Roger stated. Joanne sighed.
"It was nice while it lasted..."
"Mark, we need to talk,"Roger declared, ending the other's previous discussion by pulling the attention of the story back to him.
"What about?"Mark asked innocently.
"Innocently? Why's he so innocent?"Roger demanded.
"Roger!"Mark whined.
"Right. Sorry."Roger turned back to Mark. "I don't want you hanging around Maureen."
"But Roger, we're just friends,"Mark insisted.
"That's what all characters say when they're really cheating/about to cheat!"Roger cried.
"You don't trust me?"Mark asked, pouting, as his eyes began to well with tears.
"Okay, how over-dramatic is that?"Roger snapped.
"Roger, stop interrupting the author and end this God damn scene so we can move on with the story,"Collins grumbled.
"Okay, okay,"Roger sighed. "Mark, I do trust you. I just don't trust Maureen, because we all know she's a cheating skank."Mark shrugged, nodding.
"Can deny that one,"he agreed.
"Hey!"Maureen cried. "Joanne, defend me."
"What? They're-"Joanne stopped, catching the death glare from her girlfriend. "Mark, Roger...shut up."
"Well that was simple,"Roger commented.
"Yeah well, four chapters is pushing it for this story anyways. We're running out of creative things to do,"Mimi pointed out. "So to help the situation, I think I'll go hook up with Jesus."And Mimi was gone before anyone could protest.
"How anti-climactic was that?"Benny snorted.
"Well the story's not over yet,"Angel pointed out.
"How do you know?"Joanne asked.
"Because the annoying voice hasn't come over the intercom. Every chapter so far has ended with the voice on the intercom. So we just have to wait for it."
The RENT crowd grew silent as they waited for their signal for the end of the story. They waited. And waited. And waited.
"Well this blows,"Benny sighed. "Screw this, I'm going to join Sweeney Todd again."
"And we're going to go work on Mark/Roger cliche number 42,"Roger said, grinning and grabbing Mark's hand. Mark frowned.
"Which one is that?"he asked.
"You'll see..."
"And we're going to go try and keep Mimi from doing anything she'll regret later," Joanne decided, dragging Maureen away. Angel and Collins sat alone. Then they grinned evilly.
"Now we can take over this petty story!"Collins announced.
"I knew it would work if we could just get rid of everyone else!"Angel agreed, laughing maniacally.
"It's ours now!"The two shared a bout of evil laughter, as thunder rumbled from virtually nowhere.
Unfortunately, no one wants to read Collins/Angel stories, no matter how cool their special effects and maniac laughter are.
Thus ends the chapter.
A/N: I would just like to let everyone know I LOVE Collins and Angel. But if you've been reading this story, you know I pick on them relentlessly. And I couldn't think of a better way to end this chapter.
So anyways, my school just finished our fall musical, Beauty and the Beast, so I have time to write now! It usually takes me a while to update this story, because each chapter is like a new story, but keep sending me your ideas and I'll try to stick 'em all in Chapter Five(which may be the end, because as Mimi pointed out, four chapters is pushing it) Thanks for reading this insanity!