Theories as to why Sasuke hates Itachi

by i r Kei

Don't give me all the credit. Tia helped. So did Pepper after a while. Review, please. I'd like that. Title says it all.

7. Theories Seven

Sasuke was upset at Itachi for stealing his lunch money. (inspired by AWOL cosplayers)

So Sasuke got some scissors and cut off Itachi's ponytail when Itachi was least suspecting it.

And then Itachi glued it back on and went around saying duck-butt hair was all the rage.

So Sasuke got angry again, because Itachi had stolen his trademark duck-butt statement. In retaliation to this, he dialed the number for Gai-sensei and Rock Lee's hairdresser to come around straight away.

But Itachi told the hairdresser that Kakashi was in need of a hair styling so when Kakashi showed up for training with Sasuke's hair, Sasuke thought it best to shave off his hair and Itachi got mad because then he couldn't make fun of Sasuke's duck-butt hair.

Sasuke laughed at Itachi, seeing how his older brother could not laugh at him, and he felt pretty happy that he now looked completely different with his baldhead. Kakashi got attacked by Sasuke's fan girls.

And Sasuke got jealous of Kakashi and started dating him and Itachi got mad. So Itachi hooked Kakashi up with Anko and stole Sasuke back.

Kakashi and Anko got married and named their duck-butt hair child after Sasuke- because of the hair.

Sasuke felt a little embarrassed that they named the kid duck-butt after his hair (which had eventually grown really long like Itachi's) but he liked being an Uncle. He also plotted to kill Anko for stealing his man!

But Itachi got to Anko before Sasuke could because he knew Sasuke would get really jealous and hopefully do naughty things to him.

Sasuke hated Itachi for getting rid of Anko for him and so he dialed a number and suddenly Chuck Norris appeared in the Nirvash in a magic puff of smoke. He told Chuck Norris that Itachi had been copying the legendary facts about him which sent Chuck Norris into a blinding rage and he killed half of the ninjas of Konoha.

So Itachi was banned from the Konoha Gentlemen's Club because of this (he was one of the dancers, silly) and so he went and raped Sasuke because he wouldn't be able to get any quick jobs from work anymore.