(A/N: Longer chapter today. I had a lot to get in. Also, this is the last time I try to make the use of a running gag into a running gag in and of itself, XD. Hope you don't get sick of it.)

Part 4: Usually Something's Gone Absolutely, Terribly Wrong By This Point

What it boiled down to was that Tulio wasn't speaking to Miguel, and Guybrush and Elaine weren't speaking to Tulio - so as such, the entirety of the ship was rather...speechless as it approached the twilit shore of Monkey Island the next evening, sand glowing a bit purple in the light of the rising moon. As significant as the island had been in his life, however, Guybrush couldn't keep completely silent about it. "Well, folks, here we are. Monkey Island, the creepiest place in the Caribbean."

"Doesn't look all that creepy," said Miguel.

"Not at first glance," Guybrush agreed, "but just watch out. This place has had everything, from carnivals to cannibals."

"Oooh, spooky," scoffed Tulio from the other side of the deck.

"I've discovered the secret of Monkey Island, broken the curse of Monkey Island, even had to escape from Monkey Island - "

"All right, love, cut the tour guide bit," said Elaine as kindly as possible. "Save the stories of your escapades for around the campfire."

"Are we setting up a camp tonight?" asked Miguel.

"I guess we could," said Guybrush, "but I was thinking for now we'd just stay on the ship."

"Good," grumbled Tulio. "I've spent enough nights sleeping out in the jungle to last me a lifetime."

"But sure, let's set up camp tonight."

Tulio glowered, and Guybrush did have to admit it was a bit low, but he didn't really care right now. He had mostly forgiven Tulio for what he'd been doing with Elaine, but not quite for what he was still doing to Miguel. If the two of them didn't make up soon and clear away some of the awkward lingering in the salty sea air, he was going to hit both of them with his rubber chicken with the pulley in the middle. Plus, Elaine had said he could tell his stories if they had a campfire...and maybe they could roast some weenies...

She cleared her throat loudly in his ear and he jumped, realizing that he really should be helping them anchor and pack up supplies instead of spacing out. They unloaded the tents and a reasonable amount of food, secured the ship and locked the treasure hold, and trudged far enough up the beach that the tide wouldn't reach them, just on the edge of the jungle.

"I think this is the most well-prepared I've ever been on this island," said Guybrush, about an hour later once they'd constructed a roaring fire and were almost completely set up. "Usually something's gone absolutely, terribly wrong by this point."

"Don't say anything," said Elaine, "you'll jinx it."

Not two seconds later, Miguel and Tulio realized there were only two tents.

"I am not sleeping with him!" they cried, pointing dramatically at one another.

"Oh, brother," Guybrush groaned.

"Oh for pete's sakes, I've had enough of the two of you!" said Elaine. "You're acting like a couple of overgrown babies. I swear, if you don't stop it this instant, I'm going to smack both of you with...with a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle!"

"I don't care," said Tulio. "I don't think I can spend an entire night sleeping on the ground, in a tent, with him."

"Well, we've only got two tents," said Elaine.

"And you are not sharing one with her," said Guybrush. Not if the little creep's life depended on it.

"Agreed," said Miguel with a glare.

"Fine," said Tulio. "So that works out to one tent with you and Elaine, and one tent with me and Captain Oblivious here."

"I think the saying is 'Captain Obvious,' pal."

"My point exactly."

"Well, if I'm holding the anti-Insult talisman, that puts both our powerful voodoo objects in the same tent," Elaine pointed out. "Guybrush, why don't you take this..." She pulled out the oil-smeared tortoise shell, which was starting to smell a bit funny, and pressed it into his hands. "And we can hang on to the predicting jar, or whatever."

"Sounds like a plan," said Guybrush.

"And I don't know about you," said Tulio, "but I'm going to turn in. I've about had it for today."

He disappeared into one of the tents, but not before Elaine pressed something into his hand, too.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Earplugs. You'll need them."

xxxxx

He didn't know what was happening, just that suddenly he couldn't see, and now he was getting manhandled by a couple of people with remarkably bony hands. They jerked him out of his tent and began frog-marching him across the beach for a bit before tying up his hands and feet, too, and slinging him over the back of a remarkably bony horse. He tried to scream out a little but the bag over his head that had blinded him was serving as a gag, too. He could barely even hear anything - his captors were talking, but it was just a low rumble of words in the very back of his foggy consciousness. The horse clopped further and further away from the camp...

And then Miguel woke up, sitting bolt upright in shock and colliding straight into Elaine head-first as she did the exact same thing.

"Ow!" she yelped, and then, looking into his eyes, realized what was going on and gasped.

He managed to speak first. "I had a dream I was being kidnapped!" he cried. "Do you think it's one of those - "

"I'm not certain," whispered Elaine - "but no, it must be, because I had a dream that I was kidnapping - someone! But it wasn't you!"

"Well, no," said Miguel, "probably not. I think I've figured part of this thing out. If you're having a prediction, you don't see what you would see - you see what someone else would see."

"So I'm not the kidnapper, and you're not the kidnappee."

"That's it exactly."

She paused, and he tried to brace himself for what he knew was coming next. "So when you saw me go overboard, whose eyes were you watching through?"

"Well...I - "

He was cut off by the clopping of a galloping horse, and he and Elaine froze.

"The kidnappers!" They'd been so busy sitting around talking about it, they hadn't even thought that it could be happening just moments later! As fast as they could, they yanked on their shoes and burst from the tent, but it was no use. The horse and its three passengers were already too far down the beach to catch, and from the other tent a loud, repetitive snoring could be heard. Guybrush's snoring.

They'd taken Tulio.

"No!" cried Miguel out into the eerily silent night air. "Tulio!"

Elaine, too, was panicking. "I should have known it was Tulio, only Guybrush could sleep through a kidnapping, he sleeps like the dead - he'd probably sleep through me getting kidnapped, of all people - "

"I'll bet that was it!" Miguel realized. "Whoever kidnapped Tulio - "

"Was expecting me to be in the tent with Guybrush!" she cried, catching on. "They must be working for LeChuck, and they wanted to kidnap me, but they got him instead."

"...Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, wake Guybrush up!" demanded Miguel, barely able to contain himself. "We've got to go and rescue him!"

So he fidgeted outside the tent while Elaine dove in to stop her husband's obnoxious snoring and drag him to his feet. At the confused look on his face, Miguel immediately began explaining their predicament - and without anything else around to interrupt, when Guybrush asked, Miguel didn't have a way out of it.

"Who were you in your dream when you saw Elaine fall overboard, then?"

Miguel fidgeted some more, not answering at first, but the Threepwood-Marleys just stared at him expectantly. "Oh, all right. I - I didn't exactly see her fall, like I said. I was Elaine."

Guybrush raised one eyebrow. "Really."

"Really. I fell overboard, and then Tulio rescued me. That's why..." Miguel sighed and steeled his resolve. "That's why I didn't think anything of it. I'm used to having dreams where Tulio rescues me." He turned away from the two of them, facing off into the jungle where his partner had disappeared, and smiled a little at his own stupidity. "You see the truth is I'm - I'm rather in love with him," he said. "I'm afraid I always have been."

Elaine made a face. "Well is that all?"

He turned back to her and made another face. "What do you mean 'is that all'?"

"I figured that out a third of the way into your Insult Swordfight!" she said.

"And you pretty much told me after the storm the other day," added Guybrush.

"Well you're awfully flippant about it! This is a big deal for me! I've never told anyone about it! I just - "

"Hey, Miguel," said Guybrush, stopping him with a hand on his shoulder. "All these dreams, where he rescues you, right? Now you have to go and rescue him. From there, everything gets better." He stepped back to Elaine, slipping an arm around her waist. "Trust me."

Guybrush was smiling, so Miguel smiled too.

"Well all right then!"

xxxxx

It was tricky, because they had to cut the kidnappers off before they got back to LeChuck, but Guybrush had been to the island before and he knew all the shortcuts. And at first they couldn't quite come up with a plan, because that was really Tulio's forte, but Miguel had impressed and intimidated simpletons before and he knew all the tricks.

The dialogue and the rest of the plan was mostly Elaine.

The horse, its two undead riders and its live cargo rounded a corner and came face to face with the shadowy image of LeChuck projected onto a smooth wall of rock. They skidded to a halt at once, and from the way Tulio flopped around he was clearly unconscious. Miguel winced but remained as silent as possible, waiting for Elaine's signal.

"Fools!" bellowed Guybrush in his best LeChuck impersonation, while Elaine twisted around and moved the leafy branches she held to effect the silhouette's speaking mouth. "Be that my beloved Elaine?"

"Yes, Cap'n!" stammered the stockier skeleton pirate. "We've captured her!"

"Excellent work! Show her to me!"

"Aye aye!" said the slimmer pirate, and he lifted the rag-doll Tulio from the back of the horse with the other pirate's help, and removed the bag over his head. Tulio, of course, was not Elaine, and though LeChuck's surprise was as fake as LeChuck himself, the zombie henchmen seemed genuinely shocked.

"Idiots!" said Guybrush-LeChuck. "Ye be good enough to bind me to the Ultimate Insult but can't tell a scrawny, two-faced worm of a streetrat - "

Hey now, Miguel thought, defensive.

" - from my pirate queen?"

"He was in the tent with Threepwood!" the skinny pirate argued, almost pleading.

"Arrh! You two, such insolent wastes of bone and rotting brain matter, I could hit ye in the head with me rubber chicken with the pulley in the middle!"

"We know you're upset, Cap'n LeChuck - "

"No," came Guybrush's real voice, "I mean I'm actually going to hit you in the head with a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle."

Elaine dropped the leaves and screamed "Now!" and while she and Guybrush sprang in for the attack with the aforementioned chicken bludgeons, Miguel darted swiftly out from an odd-smelling bush and hefted up Tulio's limp form, hauling him out of there and sprinting back to camp down Guybrush's shortcut. He knew the other two would be right behind him, and that they would be all right. He just kept running.

Tulio stirred awake on his back, groaning a little. "M...miguel?" he slurred.

"Hush, love, it's all right now," said Miguel, tightening his hold on Tulio from the front.

"I knew you...you'd save me."

Wide-eyed, Miguel stopped running, but Tulio had passed out again.