(A/N: I think it's hilarious how I'd planned for this to be a one-shot, then figured it'd get done in four parts or so, and now it's looking like it'll probably be seven. Clearly, I win. Also, here there be some more El Dorado canon, finally. This really does still belong in the Monkey Island section, though.)

Part 5: The Same Old Tulio And Miguel

Tulio awoke with Miguel in his tent, a wicked throbbing in his head, and the distinct feeling that he'd forgotten something important. He tried to piece it together in his aching brain chronologically: the argument over the sleeping arrangements, what seemed like barely five minutes of shuteye, the kidnapping and sensory deprivation, the uncomfortable horse ride, and then -

Then here, with Miguel still asleep beside him, almost protectively close, and the bright light of an early morning on Monkey Island peeking through the flap of their tent.

Yeah, there was definitely a piece missing there.

Careful not to wake Miguel, Tulio got up - though his reeling head protested the movement - and crawled out of the tent and into the new daylight. The waves were crashing loudly, and standing between the shore and Tulio was Elaine, staring off into the water. Against his better judgment, he walked slowly over to her.

"Uh, hey."

"Hello, Tulio," she said, not looking at him, just gazing into the sea.

They were silent for a moment.

"Where's..."

"Guybrush? He's still asleep. I've always been an early riser."

"Ah."

They were awkwardly silent for a moment.

"Do...d'you know what happened last night?"

"LeChuck sent people to kidnap me," said Elaine. "Needless to say, they missed."

"No kidding."

"I guess that talisman could keep out the Ultimate Insult, but voodoo-less zombie minions can just sneak right through. But they weren't expecting anyone other than me to be in the tent with Guybrush, so they nabbed you instead."

"And gave me one hell of a hangover, or something. You know a good cure?"

"Have you been bitten by a dog recently?"

"Uh, no."

"Then no, sorry."

"Oookay."

"They knocked you out," she continued, "but luckily we were able to stop them and get you back."

"Lucky me."

She turned to him, finally. "Tulio, we never could have saved you if it weren't for Miguel. He was quite adamant that we rescue you immediately." She flashed him an interesting smile. "I should hope Guybrush would have been that fervent about things had they actually managed to kidnap me."

They were companionably silent for a moment.

"We sure could have been something, Elaine," Tulio said, finally smiling back.

"I don't doubt it," she said. "But you and Miguel already are something, and that's going to be so much better."

She walked back to her tent smiling, and he just stood there for a moment, looking at the place where she'd been, empty air that now contained just a view of the ocean. Then, smiling himself and shaking his head, he too returned to his tent, to discover that Miguel was awake.

"Was that Elaine?"

"Yeah," said Tulio.

"What were you talking about?"

You, he almost said, but he lied, "Nothing really."

"You know, I think Guybrush and Elaine are good people," said Miguel, with a small smile.

"Oh, I agree. Wholeheartedly."

"But we're still conning them out of this gold."

"Absolutely."

"I mean, they don't need it."

"Hardly. She's an elected official and he's a pirate. They've got a steady inflow of cash."

"And really," reasoned Miguel, "it's not the treasure they want out of this endeavor. They just want to defeat this LeChuck buffoon."

"Precisely," said Tulio.

"So tomorrow after they go to sleep then?"

"Sounds good enough to me - although Elaine did say she was a habitually early riser."

"Oh," said Miguel, "but Guybrush sleeps like the dead."

They exchanged a grin, and regardless of their strange relationship status at the moment, Tulio felt like they were finally back to the same old Tulio And Miguel.

xxxxx

They were walking through the jungle and louder than her own thoughts, all Elaine could hear was the shrieking of the monkeys.

"I suppose they don't call it Monkey Island for nothing," she grumbled, huffing breath up to her forehead in an effort to keep her hair from matting with sweat.

"I guess we should be glad it's not Jaguar Island, or something," said Tulio, trudging along just behind her, with Miguel just behind him.

Guybrush, out in front, seemed completely immune to the incessant chimp chattering. "Keep moving, crew! We have a lot of ground to cover before sunset!" He was inhumanly chipper, a mood of his which always drove Elaine bonkers - this on top of the apes? She really hoped they would at least stop for lunch - or to bathe, or something...

"How does he do it?" Tulio groaned.

"I still haven't figured it out," said Elaine, "and I've known him for seven years."

"There weren't nearly this many screeching animals on our way to El Dorado," whined Miguel. Then he shot a panicked look at Tulio, and then they both winced.

Elaine's interest was instantly piqued. "El Dorado?"

"El Do-what?"

"No one said anything about - "

"Who believes in - "

"Oh, nice try, boys," said Elaine, "but you've slipped up. If you keep your voices down, Guybrush may not hear you, but I want to know everything."

So grudgingly, Miguel told her about winning the map with the loaded dice, and trekking through the jungle to find the city of gold. And Tulio explained how they'd been treated as gods by the locals, and how their con had gone wrong but they'd made it out okay. And they both glossed over the uglier details, like their pitiful boat ride, the arguments, and Chel, filling the gaps in with witty anecdotes about Altivo and that ball game with the armadillo.

"Guybrush isn't the only one with adventures," Miguel finished up with a bit of a satisfied smirk.

"What about me?" said Guybrush, finally realizing they were speaking. (How he heard them over all the monkeys, Elaine had no idea.)

"We were just wondering when you were planning on stopping for lunch," Tulio covered smoothly.

"Oh geez, I keep forgetting we actually have provisions," he said, immediately scrambling to undo his pack and take out some of the food. "Usually when I'm here I'm shipwrecked and I have to live off jungle fruit and the occasional injured seagull."

They broke for lunch, dislodging their substantial packs and munching on bread, cheese, jerky and bananas, and sipping on watered-down grog. As they ate, Elaine watched Miguel and Tulio from the corner of her eye, and decided she liked what she saw. They finally seemed to be themselves with each other again - themselves, and a little bit more.

"All right, grab those bags, folks!" Guybrush was calling again, far too soon. "We need to make good time to arrive at the stronghold tomorrow morning!" So they packed everything back up and kept on marching through the afternoon, trading the sun and sweat for the breezy evening air and trading the sound of yammering monkeys for Guybrush's toneless whistling. ("I'd almost rather have the chimps," muttered Tulio.) Finally, after climbing over a large outcropping of rock to arrive at a river in the valley on the other side, Guybrush informed them that this was the best campsite around and that they'd proceed to LeChuck's in the morning.

"So how exactly are you planning to defeat LeChuck, anyway?" asked Tulio as he helped Guybrush build up the fire.

"We've got our own Ultimate Insult, didn't we tell you?" he said. "They're surprisingly simple to make - you need a golden man, a silver monkey head and a bronze hat. Mine's about the size of an action figure."

Tulio set his log down rather suddenly into the flames, almost quelching them. "Huh. Well that's unexpected."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess I always thought something as ominous-sounding as the Ultimate Insult would be more...grandiose," Tulio admitted.

"Hm, maybe you're right. I guess the thing I've learned about voodoo is that it's actually pretty straightforward."

"I suppose that's convenient."

The fire grew into a decent-sized blaze, and Miguel and Elaine finished pitching the tents. They actually did manage to share some campfire stories this time - Guybrush of the treasure of Big Whoop, and Tulio of a saucy girl in Barcelona - and then it was time to turn in.

Tulio and Miguel didn't even bother to go to sleep.

"So I've got the...thing," Miguel whispered, hefting the voodoo canister in one hand. "So they don't accidentally dream us sneaking away."

"Yeah, well, we still have to steal the other...thing," Tulio hissed back, as they slowly crept out of their tent. "Can't have LeChump offing us before we get the gold."

"Don't worry about it, there's no way we'll wake Guybrush up," said Miguel. "Should I swipe the Ultimate Insult too?"

"Nah, we don't need to fight, just to run," said Tulio. "It's not worth it."

Sneaking into the Threepwood-Marleys' tent and coming back out with the anti-Insult talisman was embarrassingly easy. "How much gold you think we can get back to the ship with us?" asked Miguel.

"We'll work that out when we get there," said Tulio. "Come on, let's get going, We don't want Elaine waking up."

With both the voodoo artifacts in hand, the two conmen snuck off into the night, toward the faint glow of LeChuck's stronghold on the horizon.