I am always thinking about how Bella's life was before she moved to Forks. So technically this is AU, but Bella is still going to end up with Edward, Edward is still going to leave, Jacob is still there, etc.

I don't know how long this is going to be, or where I'm going with this. This is on complete and total impulse.

Disclaimer: I WISH. GOD, I WISH. STEPHENIE MEYER, I WANT TO INHERIT EDWARD, PLEASE.

The Perfect Man

Chapter 1 - Surprise, you're life is doomed!

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THE PERFECT MAN!

by Natalie Rodgers and Bella Swan

- hot

- sensitive (but not TOO sensitive, you know)

- manly

- athletic

- smells-good

- hot

- smart (always the logical one, Bella. Always the logical one.)

- good personality

- romantic

- interesting

- strong

- sweet

- affectionate

- hot

- talented

- has good hygiene

- spontaneous

- gentle

- not too into himself (wouldn't that be called considerate?)

"I think that's a pretty good list so far. I'm going to make you a copy," Natalie approved, ripping the piece of paper from her notebook and started to copy it onto another piece of paper.

I sighed. "Why did we do this, again?"

"To prove to ourselves that the Perfect Man isn't impossible and as long as a guy has at least five of these traits to be acceptable. We will not lower our standards!" She stabbed her pencil in the air defiantly.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure. Right."

Natalie sighed. "Just because you don't believe in the Perfect Man, that doesn't mean he's not out there, Bella." She shook her head.

"Natalie, no one is perfect. It's just not possible." I was the cynic, she was the romantic. We were opposites, and that's why we got a long so well.

Natalie just shook her head again, refusing to respond.

We were sitting in my living room, with the air conditioner on full blast. It was pure hell outside; around one-hundred degrees in the shade. And Natalie, who was tan and adored the sun, had been kind enough to stay inside with me - because I was as pale as a ghost - instead of dragging me outside with her. We may not always get along, but we knew each other's limits. She knew when I was about to die from a heat stroke, and I knew when she thought she was right, I couldn't talk her out of anything.

"So, where is your mother at? She's usually here, I mean. Making us cookies or something. Trying to fatten you up." Natalie poked my side and I scowled at her.

"She's with Phil." I mumbled.

"Ugh, that guy again? He's so not the Perfect Man, not even close! By the looks of our list, he has maybe three attributes. Affectionate-"

"Maybe a little too affectionate," I replied, a mental image of my own mother and Phil making out running through my mind. I shuddered lightly. Not my favorite mental image, there.

"Manly-"

"Or so he thinks."

"And athletic."

"He just plays minor baseball!"

Natalie put the hand that was holding the piece of paper up to her face (because she forgot to put her contacts in and she hated wearing her glasses) on the couch and frowned. "Do you really not like Phil that much, Bella?"

I sighed. "No, it's just that-"

"That he's stealing your own mother away from you and now you're left all alone - with the exception of me, of course - because you're completely anti-social and refuse to go outdoors?" She stated with a know-it-all tone.

"Since when did you become a therapist?" I shot back.

She smiled. "It's my dream, you know. Plus, it's not a horrible thing if you don't like Phil. He's not what you would call the stepfather type." She wrinkled her nose like she always did when she was disgusted.

I froze. "What? What do you mean the stepfather type? They're not married, Natalie. They're not even engaged." I was fiercely denying any kind of suggestion that Phil and Renee would get married. Renee didn't get married, she just dated. Unless...

Natalie was silent. "Hey, do you know something I don't?"

"Um, no." She was quiet, too quiet. Natalie always talked confidently, unless she, of course, was doubting herself. Which wasn't very often.

"Natalie."

She finally looked up at me, her green eyes hesitant. Then she groaned. "Bella! It's...I mean, I didn't..." She stopped stumbling over her words completely when she saw the look on my face. Sighing, she turned towards me. "Well, I was hanging around your back porch, because you guys weren't home yet, and then I heard Phil talking on the phone - because he was in the driveway - and he said he was going to ask your mom to marry him. Soon."

I was shocked, to say in the least. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I whispered.

She looked at my with sympathy in her eyes. "This was just yesterday. And what was I supposed to say, exactly, "hey, I heard Phil is going to propose to your mom, good luck with your new step-dad?" What kind of friend does that?" She exclaimed.

"One that doesn't just blurt stuff out in the middle of nowhere!" I was overreacting, sort of, and I was blaming Natalie for something that was completely out of my control.

And what would become of me now? If Renee and Phil got married, it would be the happy newly-wedded couple, and then me - who had no one. I already knew how to fend for myself, but I was always either with Renee or Natalie. And what would happen when I graduated next year, when Natalie and I went to different colleges, where I wouldn't know anyone there, and again I would be - all by myself.

Don't get me wrong - I like having my privacy, and I'm not much into the party scene, or hanging around big groups of people. Natalie was almost the opposite, which resulted in her dragging me to parties and events and games and celebrations that weren't any fun at all. But most of the time I didn't say anything, and just pretended like it didn't bother me. The two of us got along, we just weren't alike. At all.

And I thought of Charlie, my dad, who lived in Forks, Washington (really, what kind of name is that?) and was a policeman there. He probably gets a lot of action time, I thought sarcastically.

He was lonely there, right? He called more than what was normal. Or maybe that was just his nature. But if he was lonely, and if I was going to be lonely, then I had a good idea...

I was torn away from my thoughts as I heard the front door slam shut.

My mother was home.

And judging by the way anyone could hear her laughter from a mile away, and the more masculine laughter that accompanied it, Phil was with her.

Oh, God. He had better not -

"Bella! Come here!" With a glance in Natalie's direction, I hesitantly got off the couch and into the hallway where my mother was, Natalie close behind. My eyes widened to comical proportions as she thrust her left hand right under my nose, a huge sparkling diamond nestled in between two smaller pink diamonds on a shiny silver band sat on her ring finger.

Damn it.

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I really don't know. Just to clear the air, this is NOT based on the movie, The Perfect Man. Not at all. Also, no flames. Constructive criticism, questions, concerns, etc, are appreciated and encouraged, though, so please review!