Chapter 4:

thank you all for the reviews! i admit i was nervous about this story, particularly because it's my first Twilight. Of course ive written like 4 OC stories, but it's always a bit stressful to start a new story. as most of you have prolly experienced. i have a question for ibelieveinsnorkacks.. what is a snorkack? it's bugging me now, i feel dumb not knowing what it is lol :p anyways here is chapter 4! sorry about the long note!

Bella:

I blared my music in my room, I wanted them to all know I was pissed. I hated Forks, I wanted to get out of here so freaking badly. There were so many places I could go. Italy, Australia, Africa, the list just goes on. Heck, I would even choose to live on a desserted island with only a volley ball to keep me company, and I would name him Wilson. Like how Tom Hanks did in Cast Away.

I sat up in my bed and began to plan my escape route. I had a good excuse for this, I endangered human lives by staying in Forks. I began to pack, I picked up my jeans from the other day, the day I met the family. Something was weighing my left pocket down. Oh right, that darn iPod of his. I found my sister's iPod charger on my floor (why it was there I've no idea) and plugged the iPod in. I waited until it fully charged, then turned it on. Swing music blared into my ears. Ouch, my head started to hurt from the memories of my former life. And this was my favorite song too. Oh the pain was excruciating! I went through his whole music library. Everything was Big Band music. Except for one song by Ludacris, which was a bit..strange. It was called "Act A Fool", and very out of character for him. I got mad, the curiousity got the better of me. As much as I wanted to stay away from this boy, I just couldn't. I did my best to deny it, but I know what I felt for him was more than desire for his blood. This mysterious boy made my seemingly non existent heart beat with pleasure. I could never tell him my feelings. If I liked him, I would need to try harder to let him go. My felings were conflicted. The more I wanted to know him, the more I had to pull away. If only Beth would tell me what would happen between us, then I could avoid him. Besides, no guy in his right mind would want to be with a..monster such as I. Suppose I did end up being with him and I told him my secret? What would he do? That's right, he would run screaming for the hills. He would tell his family and they would tell the whole town and my family and i would be chased out of Forks with pitchforks and torches. I just couldn't risk it. I sat there, staring at my dark blue walls. I was snapped back into reality by the sound of my alarm clock. I glanced at it. 6:45. Time to get ready for school. It's not like I really need an alarm clock. I guess it's just for looks. I never sleep, there is no need for it when you are one of the damned. I hear Ludacris still playing, I guess I must have put it on repeat.

Drah, 2 fast Drah, 2 furious I'm too fast for ya'll main Drah, 2 fast Drah, 2 furious Ooh, I'm too fast for ya'll main

Chorus: Aah, you just came home from doing a bitch Tell me what you gon do? Act a fool Somebody broke in and cleaned out your crib Boy whatcha gon do? Act a fool Just bought a new pair and they scuffed your shoes Tell me what you gon do? Act a fool Now them cops tryna throw you in them county blues Boy whatcha gon do? Act a fool.

For the first time it what seemd like years, I laughed. Not a fake laugh either, but a nice genuine laugh. Come on, think about it...a hot guy with band music on his iPod...AND Ludacris...ha ha!! I giggle again as I straighten my hair and put make-up on again today.

There was a knock on my door,

"Can I come in?" Beth asks timidly.

"If you wanna" I reply finishing up my hair.

"I'm sorry about what happened yesterday."

"I was going to leave here." I say cooly returning to the mirror.

"I know. But I'm glad you didn't."

I turn to her and see a strange expression cross her face. It was an expression of pain and sadness, tears began spilling from her eyes. I sigh tiredly and turn to her. I hold my arms out for her and give her a huge hug.

Finally, Beth composes herself enough to ask,

"So, what was the giggle I heard?"

"Like you don't know!"

"Um, I don't. Remember, you are the one who reads minds. Not me" Beth smiles.

I tell her what I found so funny...

"So, what will you do about him? Still try to ignore him?"

"Beth, what else CAN I do?" I roll my eyes.

"You could control yourself."

"You have no idea how hard it will be, though. I desire his blood like you desire your make-up. I feel I can't live without it."

"Or him."

"What?"

"Maybe it's him you can't live without. You are just afraid of what he would think. Haven't you ever heard of soul mates? Fate? Destiny?"

"That's ridiculous! Why would I want a mortal boy?"

"You can't always choose who you fall in love with. If it happens, then it happens. You can try and fight it, but you will eventually find it's impossible. Your thirst for his blood might just be your subconscious way of staying away from him, for fear he would never understand you"

"You don't understand, this never has happened before"

"I understand. You may think I'm dumb, just because I haven't been a vampire as long as you have. But you know as well as I do that I have an old, wise soul. Just because we are vampires does not mean we don't ever experience the same things as humans teenage girls do. Even though, if we WERE human, well you would be like eighty and I would be twenty-seven. But, as it is we are forever teenage girls. The worse years of our lives according to many" Beth smiled and looked at me. I smiled back at her. She continued, "No one ever said we couldnt experience love. Sure, it makes it harder because we stay this age and our significant others would age. Unless, well you know, they become one of us. But, Charlie already promised that we can have trustworthy human friends and they won't have to worry about Arnando biting them, like he did me."

"But how will we know if they are really trustworthy?"

"Test him. Tell him a secret, if he tells anyone...he isn't trustworthy. It's simple as that. Celebrities do it all the time. They tell a lie about themselves to their friends and see who leaks it to the press, then they know which friends to trust and which ones to not."

"But what lie do I tell him?"

"The truth. If he tells, then you deny it. Make him out to be the crazy person. You have that power. If that fails, then just take off to Alaska for another ten years, then it will all blow over and you can come back."

"But he won't be here when I get back...if I go to Alaska."

"Bella, believe me. He will prove to be trustworthy. I can sense it in him."

"So now you have a super sense of smell, too?"

Beth smiled. "Of course not. I have intuition. And a vague sense of what the future holds, but as you know things can change, and I don't like telling my visions to everyone on the off chance I get hopes up. I don't rely on my visions. I don't like knowing what the future may hold for others. It depresses me. You know that, you read my mind. I wish I didn't have the gift to see the future."

"I know, I wish it was reversed. I wish I could see the future instead of reading minds. Some things I hear people say just makes me mad."

"But we are who we are and nothing can change that. It's time to finally embrace this. And find our love."

I hugged her and then said "We are going to be late. You talk too much!"

She threw a pillow at me and I playfully screamed, "You messed up my hair! Ah! What shall I do?" and then we went to the car.

Edward:

I woke early this morning. I didn't know the reason until memories started to surface. It was the dream. I dreamt of the girl. I didn't even know her name, but I still felt this sort of...unexplained instant connection with her. I dreamt that I was walking with her through the forest, I tried to hold her hand but she kept pushing it away. Suddenly, she smiled at me...showing fangs. She leaned closer to me, aiming for my neck. That's the furthest it went before I woke up. Seeing that it was only 5:45, I tried to get back to sleep. I didn't like being tired through my classes. However, sleep was impossible. I tried to count sheep, I tried anything to fall asleep. Nothing worked. Finally, I drifted off at 7:45. Ten minutes until I was supposed to wake up anyways. Alice came bounding in my room, as usual, to wake me. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep and dream of the girl. Even though I dreamt strange things about her, I still liked to dream about her. She was much nicer in my dreams. I didn't really want to deal with her hostility towards me.

Just then, a thought occured to me. I should just ASK her what her problem is. Maybe it's not me at all. Maybe she was just having a bad day. Maybe I was egotistic enough to believe she had something against me. Yes, that sounded logical.

I sat in my classes, eager to ask her what was wrong. Finally, biology rolled around. I jumped out of history and practically ran to bio. I prayed she was the first one in there today. Sure enough, as soon as I closed the door behind me, there she was. Sitting in perfect contentment, working on an algebra problem. I casually passed behind her on the way to my seat. I could see her back instantly begin to tense. I looked at her answer for problem 12. It was wrong.

"x24. Not 22. That's where you messed up on."

She looked at me, confusion on her face, which faded to anger.

"Thanks." she mumbled, pissed that I pointed out her problem.

"Why are you mad? I helped you so you wouldn't get the wrong answer"

"I don't need YOUR help. Or anyone else's for THAT matter." she glared at me then lowered her head and continued with her homework. I was not easily swayed. I wrote a note and threw it at her.

She glanced at me, crumbled the note into a ball. Then decided against it, and opened it grudgingly.

I wrote,

"What do you have against me? Did I do something wrong to you? Did I say something bad to you? Please tell me what I did so i can make it up to you.

Edward"

She wrote back,

"I apologize for my awful behavior. I have been having a rough time righ now. Not to insult you or anything, but you wouldn't understand. I think it would be in our best interests if I did not talk to you. So Sorry,

Bella"

I glanced at the beautifully written words, so angelic yet they contained evil. Evil because they said I would never be able to see her ever. I looked at her briefly while she gauged my reaction. Her eyes contained pan. Something else was wrong and I wanted to find out.

"Bella,I want to know you. Why would you think I wouldnt understand?"

"Because, Im different from the others..."

"I dont care if you end up having a 7th toe or something. Nothing matters to me. You aren't different to me. You are special."

Bella re-read the note three times. Then she wrote back,

"Trust me and I will show you in time...Then you will think your options over again."

I looked at her, she nodded once then went back to work. What the hell does she mean by that?