the perfect man
Chapter 5 - grin and bear it
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I stood outside of Natalie's house, feeling fidgety and nervous.
I was moving in less than a week - and I decided that I could save me and Natalie's friendship. Renee and Phil were on their honeymoon, Jackson was out of my life completely, and with no Natalie…I had no one. My house, which wasn't even that big, felt huge because there was no one but me in it.
I guess I didn't realize how much I really liked Natalie before.
I took a deep breath, walking up the steps of her large porch.
And now I was going to pay for it.
I had many problems with this decision I had made;
1). Natalie's mom hated me. I don't really take it personally, because she hates anyone who isn't rich or famous. I wouldn't be surprised if she even hates Natalie, but I've never said that out loud.
2). Natalie probably won't forgive me. She's more stubborn than I am - which is saying a lot - and she always tells me, "Sorry just doesn't cut it." I'm going to have to beg and grovel if I want her to forgive me.
3). I'm moving soon. I'm not going to have time to grovel!
4). What if this is a big waste of time? I could be finishing packing right now. Natalie probably won't forgive me, and when I move, I probably won't even see her ever again. Maybe I should turn back -
Too late. I had already knocked on the door, and yep, there was Natalie's mother. Glaring at me. Like usual.
I smiled. "Um, hi Mrs. Rodgers. Is Natalie here today?"
She smiled back, but it wasn't a nice smile. "It's Ms. Rodgers, Isabella." Okay, Jackson and Natalie's mom called me Isabella. But no one else. And, Natalie's dad died about four years ago…and Ms. Rodgers is obviously still dealing with the fact that he gave all his money to his only daughter (Natalie, duh), and she got none. "She's in her room."
She reluctantly let me inside and I climbed the stairs as fast as I dared, in case I fell or tripped.
When I got to Natalie's door, and I hesitated, my hand fisted and ready to knock. Here goes nothing…
When I knocked, I heard some shuffling noises from the inside, and then the soft padding of footsteps on the hardwood floor. Natalie swung the door open and her eyes widened when she saw me. She stared at me for a moment.
"Hi…can I talk to you?" I asked, feeling timid and insecure under her critical gaze.
She nodded curtly, looking very much like her mother as she opened the door and let me in. I was dealing with another Ms. Rodgers.
I stood awkwardly in the middle of her room, looking around. Nothing was different. That was a good sign, right?
Natalie sat on her bed, not looking at me.
I took a deep breath, "NatalieI'msorry."
She raised her eyebrows and looked at me, still silent. She shrugged. "I'm sorry, too."
I froze. Was it really that easy? "Um, why are you sorry? You didn't do anything."
Natalie scoffed. "Sure, Bella. I didn't overreact and yell at you in front of a really cute boy. I didn't do anything wrong." She rolled her eyes, her tone sarcastic.
I smiled. Natalie was back.
"Well, I don't blame you. It's okay."
She nodded. "So…how are things with you and the potential Perfect Man?"
I sighed, walking towards the bed and sitting down next to her. "We kissed, I screwed up, he's gone."
Natalie gasped. "You guys kissed?" She squealed.
I rolled my eyes, she was really missing the point. "Yes, but I screwed up, and now he's gone." I stated clearly.
She looked at me as sympathetically, as if I was a little kid you had dropped my ice cream cone on the sidewalk in the middle of summer. "Bella, seriously. You're moving. What does it matter?"
I shrugged. I still felt bad, moving or not.
But she was right.
It didn't matter.
--
I moved tomorrow.
Natalie and I were back on the bench, me, half-hoping Jackson would show up, looking goofy and intense at the same time, and Natalie, looking sad and miserable as she stared up at the cloudy sky. "What will I do without you?"
I shrugged, feeling helpless. "You did it before - when we fought. You can do it again."
She shook her head. "But this is permanent. And I was HORRIBLY MISERABLE without you!" She exclaimed, tugging on her hair.
"I'm sorry." It's all I could say. And she knew it.
She just kept shaking her head. "I'll deal with it. I have other friends…I guess. Will you…write to me?"
I nodded, looking at her. "Every week."
"Every day."
I nodded again, following her gaze and stared at the sky. It was starting to rain.
"Every day."
--
Renee was sitting in the car, patiently waiting for me. Phil was who-knows-where (and I really didn't care), and Natalie and I were sitting on my porch swing. The last time I would sit on that porch swing, forever.
There were boxes filled throughout my house, instead of just my room. My room - which was now empty - was bigger than I had realized. I would miss that, too. I said silent goodbyes to every room in the house, not crying because there was no use for it.
I wasn't sure about Natalie, though. She would sniffle every now and then, obviously determined not to get too emotional because she knew I wouldn't know how to deal with that.
"I'm going to visit you, sometime. Before we graduate." I said, trying to make her happy.
She nodded. Then, she looked up at me, her face brightening. "I could visit you."
Well, I had never thought of that.
"Natalie, Forks isn't exactly…party central. It's dreary and rainy and miserable. It's like the opposite of Phoenix." I warned her.
She shook her head, determined. "I don't care. A little rain won't stop my parade!" She grinned and I shook my head, smiling. "We can make Forks party central. I have the power."
I was glad she was cheering up, but I seriously doubted the part about making Forks party central. That would probably never happen. I haven't been there for a long time, but I could remember the fact that it was very uninteresting.
"Okay, you'll visit me then." Renee honked the horn, rolling down the window.
"Your flight leaves soon!" She warned. I nodded at her and stood up, Natalie following me.
We walked off the porch, and I turned around to face her. She was trying not to cry again. Before I knew what was happening, she was hugging me and I couldn't breathe. Feeling every emotion I had bottled inside come to the surface, and blinked away tears. Natalie had that effect on people, sometimes. Very emotional.
When we pulled back, we smiled at each other, and she waved as I climbed into the car and we backed out of the driveway.
I knew I was going to move.
I just hadn't realized it was going to be this hard.
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