Chapter 3:

Apology

They left Konoha near sunrise, slipping silently out the gates as most shinobi tended to do. Heading to the northwest, they moved through the treetops at a quick pace, jumping from limb to limb, being careful not to misstep and tumble all the way to the ground. The trees that surrounded Konoha were old and very tall. The more experienced ninja often used some of the highest branches to avoid detection, and if one were to fall there was the possibility of severe injury.

Shizune had to admit that this was something she hadn't done in quite a while. Traveling with Tsunade had meant acting, for the most part, like a regular civilian of whatever country they were in, and the average person didn't hop through the treetops. She found it enjoyable, to say the least, though she realized that her footing wasn't quite as sure as it had been when she was younger, and she also found that she wasn't able to keep up with her teammates with as little effort as before. She wasn't lagging behind, and was able to keep her place behind Genma, but found it more tiresome than she had expected it to be. Eight years had not done any good for her skills and techniques as a ninja.

But despite that, Shizune was glad to be back. When Tsunade had called her in that morning, she had been surprised to find that she was already being sent out on a mission, but more so because she would be teamed with both Genma and Raidou. She hadn't expected to work with both of them, at all, but it would be nice because they had known her fighting style, and she had known theirs. Unless that had changed drastically over the year—something that was entirely possible—they would be able to function as a unit easily.

The last member of the team was a man who Shizune didn't know; a chuunin named Tatami Iwashi. Her first impression of him was that he looked very cautious. She caught him looking at her through narrowed eyes, as though he distrusted her, and while that could possibly create problems within the team, Shizune couldn't fault him for that. After all, he looked to be four or five years younger than her, and she would have been tucked neatly away in Anbu by the time that he had joined the ranks of ninja. The fact that he most likely had never seen her before, as well as that she wasn't wearing a Konoha forehead protector probably added to any suspicions he had.

Shizune really did hope that all four of them would be able to work with one another. Their mission called for teamwork, and it was important enough that they could not mess up.

Supposedly, there was a group of unmarked shinobi who continuously were entering Fire country, most likely conducting surveillance for whichever country they came from. Somehow, they were able to slip through any patrols and had shown themselves to be very hostile. Several teams had been lost already, though due to the fact that no one had returned from them, they could not confirm that it had been the same group of shinobi. However, as Tsunade had said, they could take no chances. Their job was to find the enemy ninja, try to determine where they originated from, and then to capture or eliminate them. The exact number of shinobi was unknown, but most likely it was four or five people, chuunin rank or higher.

They continued to run through the trees at a fairly fast pace, pausing for short breaks every few miles. Genma, the team leader, had told them that they needed to move quickly, because there was no telling how long it would take to locate their targets. Their team would be able to complete it easier than most others, however, because it was comprised of three Anbu and one chuunin who supposedly excelled in tracking. While it wouldn't be easy, they would hopefully be able to sense their enemy long before they themselves were discovered.

They continued moving for the entire morning, few words passing between any of them. Slowly, the tress began to thin, and they were forced to take longer jumps between branches, often having to move either lower or higher in the trees to make sure that they didn't fall. Shizune found herself having trouble with this, as well as with her body in general. The muscles in the back of her legs were beginning to burn from the constant motion, and several times she found herself landing too hard, sending small shocks through her feet and up her calves. She continued to move, though, never stopping, making sure that she kept pace with the three men.

Mossy branches made for very bad footing at times, something which she had known since she was eight and fell of a bottom limb of a tree, straight onto her back. She hadn't been hurt, just winded, but she had been much more cautious since then. However, with the trees growing further and further apart, Shizune found herself taking larger jumps. Genma's pace had quickened as well, which gave her less time to land properly.

She landed nimbly on on branch, in a slight crouch, before springing forward once more. This time, as she landed, she found her footing unsure, her weight too far forward, and the moss too slick. She quickly collected chakra in her feet, anchoring herself to the surface, but her forward momentum kept her upper body moving, unbalancing her. Now that her feet were secure, she could be sure that she wouldn't fall, but that meant that she had to temporarily stall.

Then she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her into a more stable position, and she turned to see Iwashi beside her. She smiled her thanks, and then they both resumed movement, Shizune making sure that she didn't make the same mistake again.

Eventually, it became impossible for them to continue in the trees, and Genma signaled for them to group on the ground. The area that they were in was still forested, though much younger, the ground heavily covered in brush and moss, with trees that were too small to support the weight of a human.

"We'll take a short rest," Genma said as the other three dropped down beside him. Inwardly, Shizune was glad that he said that, outwardly she simply nodded. "Raidou--"

"Nothing at all." Raidou pulled out a flask of water, pulling the stopper from it. "I haven't sensed anyone for several miles; not since we left the boundary."

"Keep checking. We should be nearing a village where they were sighted last."

"Got it." Raidou tipped his head back, drinking several mouthfuls of water. He appeared completely at ease in that moment, but Shizune knew that he was continuously scanning for any sign of chakra or human life.

"What's the plan, Genma?" Shizune asked, taking a drink of her own water. The hours of movement had left her tired, with sore muscles. Resting her hand against her thigh, she eased a very small amount of chakra into her legs, loosening the muscles and removing some of her discomfort. She looked up to see Genma watching her, his brow furrowed in a slight frown. "For when we find them?"

"Depending on the number," he began, still looking at her in what she thought was concern, "we'll split up. Two of us will move around from behind them, while the other two engage them head on, as well as act as a distraction." His teeth clicked on the senbon as he chewed on the end. "We need to identify the leader, or whoever appears to have the most information. Shizune, that's where you come in. I need you to incapacitate him; knock him out, do whatever you have to. Just keep him alive." Shizune nodded, capping her canteen and replacing it on her hip. "Iwashi, you and Raidou will make the first move. Get rid of as many as you can. Shizune, you'll be with me. Everyone get it?"

"Understood," she heard Iwashi say, and she nodded again.

"Genma." Her head snapped to the side as Raidou spoke, and she saw that the man had gone tense, reaching into the pouch that hung at his hip and withdrawing a kunai. "We've got company."

Genma was at his side in a moment. "How far?"

"'bout two kilometers to the northwest, moving towards us. I'm not sure how many--" He turned his head and looked to Iwashi. "Tatami?"

"At least four," the man said, one hand spread on the ground. "No more than six. Raidou's right; they're about two kilometers from here." He glanced up at the rest of them. "What now?"

Genma chewed on the cold metal of his senbon for a moment, glancing at Raidou, then to Shizune, before looking back to Iwashi. "Move out. Keep your radios on, but refrain from using them unless you absolutely have to. Shizune--"

"Got it." She pulled the small contraption from one of the compartments of her vest, fitting it around her ear and fixing the collar that held the microphone around her throat, then nodded to Genma. "I'm ready."

"All right." He gave a nod to Raidou and Iwashi, and then both groups moved out, heading in separate directions, both with a similar goal in mind.

As they moved away, in that small moment of silence before they came into earshot of their enemy, Genma looked over at Shizune.

"You all right?" he asked, and she narrowed her eyes, wondering why he had asked. "With that stumble back there--"

"I'm fine," she said, maybe a little too harshly. "I'm just...out of practice. Don't worry about me."

He gave a nod of his head, and they continued silently on.

And then--

There wasn't silence anymore. There was metal and blood and screams, and the flare of chakra through the air, and Shizune fought.

There was never silence in battle.

Shizune's earliest memories were of the sea. She remembered the pounding of waves, the taste of salt, and the crying of the gulls. They were all things that comforted her now, and she loved being in water almost more than anything else.

She had been born in Konoha, to a woman of fairly low social standing and a jounin. Several months after her birth, her father had been killed on duty, and as the money from his profession dried up, her mother gathered all their things and took her to the coast to live with her family.

The Gekkou's had never truly established themselves as a clan within the limits of Konoha, but for many generations they had lived on the coast, a people of dark hair and black eyes. They were fishermen and traders, for the most part, running one of the smaller seaports that dotted the coastline. Their connection with Konoha was through the trade of fish and seafoods, as well as other good that came in on the ships that docked in their harbor.

For her first four years, that world was Shizune's life.

She could remember her house, though the actual shape and layout of it was fuzzy in her memory. What she could remember, almost as clearly as if she were still there, were the smells; salt, sweat, cooked fish, woodsmoke, and the oil from the lamps. There had been warmth in that house, and the dim presence of her mother, the sound of her laughter.

Shizune had spent most of her time outside bounding along the sand that line the beach, peeping into tide pools and poking her fingers at sea anemones, climbing the rocky sea stacks, and scraping her knees and elbows on the rocks as she slipped on seaweed. There were fish in pools, crabs, other odd little creatures that crawled and scuttled around, making tracks in the sand. Shizune delighted in all of it, never growing tired of watching and playing.

When she was little, she wore her hair long, a jet black tangle that hung down her back. Her feet were bare and smoothed by the sand, her skin darkened and rough from being outside. She was a wild little creature, running and dancing and draping herself with seaweed, spinning around and around in circles until she was too dizzy and fell down, laughing.

She had an entire family out there by the ocean. A grandmother and grandfather, both stooped and old, their hair white, their faces worn out by life. She remembered her uncle's hands, rough and scarred, with dirt and fish guts crusted under the nails; his wife—her aunt—who was small and delicate, a wispy creature who's lungs were damaged from some sickness and would go through bouts of coughing that would bring a young Shizune running in concern; many, many cousins, both older and younger, who she laughed with and played with and annoyed until they told her to go away. For a time, she lived in that world, a happy, playful child with bright eyes and wild hair.

It was her uncle Dan, her father's brother, who brought her back to Konoha. According to her mother, Dan looked very much like her father; tall, with lighter skin and odd grey eyes, and hair that was so bleached of color that it was nearly white. The first time Shizune saw him, his strange appearance frightened her, the light colors that were contrasted so harshly with the darkness of the Gekkou family, and she hid behind her mother's legs, gazing out at him with large, black eyes.

He brought them back to Konoha, though Shizune never learned why, and her mother never told her what had made her agree. Nevertheless, they came back, moving into a small apartment that smelled too clean and lacked the smoky, fishy smells that Shizune loved. And then, when she was five, Shizune began her schooling at the ninja academy.

The first gift her uncle ever gave to her was a package of practice kunai, slim enough for her tiny fingers to fit around, dulled on the edges so that she wouldn't cut herself; on his days off from work he taught her how to throw them, taking her to the practice fields and having her use trees for targets. She grew to love this, and the days that he would spend with her, and she started counting down until the next time he would be home. It was unfortunate that, as time wore on, he was called away more and more often, off in the outskirts of the country or somewhere else entirely, and she saw him less and less, so that after a time it was almost as though he didn't exist inside her life at all.

Of course, that wasn't entirely true. He was there when she entered the academy, and he was there when she graduated. He saw her off on the day of her first mission, tucking extra bandages into her pack, and telling her that every team should have someone to take care of the injured. When she told him that they were only picking up litter around the village, he laughed, ruffled her hair, and told her that one could never be too careful. He was also there when she came back from that mission with dirt smudged on her face, scrapes on her knees, and complaints about stupid boys on her tongue.

Dan was really the one who pushed her into the path of becoming a medical ninja, and she never knew whether to thank him for that, or to hate him for it.

There was so much in her early life, so many things that she probably shouldn't have lived through, and as a child she shouldn't have experience, but that was a ninja's life. By the time she was ten, she had already stained her hands with blood. From the time she was nine and became a genin, she had nearly died countless times. Been wounded, exhausted, half-dead in the middle of some forest, never thinking that she would make it. Watched friends, family, teammates fall and never get up, and had watched others curl up and fade away, whether from physical injuries, or the deeper scars on the mind that so often times would drive those she knew to become only husks of themselves.

And yet, here she was. Twenty eight, and still alive.

Shizune opened her eyes to a bright glare, and found herself closing them again as pain decided to crawl through her head. Then she opened them again, squinting against the light. Her eyesight was fuzzy, and she couldn't make out any shapes, only vague areas of light and dark. Something moved before her, and she could make out the color green.

"...une? Shizune?"

She blinked once, twice, and then the face of Tsunade swam into view. She opened her mouth, and words came out, quickly, brokenly, in an almost mechanical way. "Underestimated injuries, overestimated abilities, waited too long, didn't take time to--"

"Quiet." Shizune clamped her mouth shut, and felt a light touch on her forehead. There was warmth, and then she felt Tsunade's calming chakra flood her veins. Almost instantly, her focus returned and the headache faded somewhat. "I didn't ask you to name your five mistakes."

Shizune smiled, though not in a particularly happy manner, and pushed herself into a sitting position. Her body ached, but she felt more awake than she had before. "How long was I out?" she asked, pushing hair out of her face. She noticed the drawn look to Tsunade's face, but decided not to comment.

"Your teammate brought you in six hours ago." Shizune looked up in surprise. "I let you sleep. But what I want to know is how you managed to nearly drain your chakra reserves."

Shizune sighed, remembering the events of the last...day? It certainly seemed like it had been longer. "It was a miscalculation. The...original mission lasted longer than anticipated, and there were a few injuries...the enemy also put up more resistance than expected."

Tsunade nodded slowly. "Tatami Iwashi's already been looked at. Looks like it was a pretty nasty scrape he got."

Shizune gave a nervous laugh. "Well, it wasn't the easiest to repair on the spot. We were also engaged with six of the enemy at one time. They were from Cloud."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed and she gave Shizune a calculating look. "How did you manage to figure this out?"

"When we were in Lightening country, a few years back..." Shizune trailed off, looking down at her hands. There was still blood caught beneath her fingernails, turning black with age. "I knew one of the shinobi."

A larger man, with dark hair and gentle eyes, who smiled at her and made her feel welcome--

--she thrust her arm forward, the chakra cutting through his skin and flesh and muscle, blood splattering on her face. His eyes were wide, and he gasped once, twice, but there wasn't recognition in his eyes--

--a body, sprawled on the ground, staining the earth crimson--

"Really." Tsunade sighed then, heavily. "I'll be expecting a full report, whenever you get the time."

"Of course." Shizune dug at the blood that was under her nail, clearing it away. It was a nervous habit of hers, cleaning her nails, digging one nail under the other and clearing away any debris. And now she was fairly nervous, because there was one thing that she both wanted to know, and didn't want to know at the same time. "How are Raidou and Genma?" she finally asked, her words coming slowly and quietly from her throat.

"They're both alive," Tsunade said, her eyes locked on Shizune. The younger medic looked up, breathing a sigh of relief. "But neither has woken up yet. Raidou took a lot of damage to his head, though I don't think there will be any permanent effects. Genma is doing well, thanks to how well you stopped all of the internal bleeding."

"As well as can be hoped for, you mean."

Tsunade shrugged. "He is recovering. As I said, you healed the internal injuries very well. He'll make it through all of this, and he'll most likely be able to be back on duty by the end of the week. After a few more healing sessions, that is," she added as an afterthought.

"A week?" Shizune's head snapped up, an almost wild look in her eyes. "Tsunade-sama, I hardly think that is enough time--"

"It's all the time we have, Shizune." She sighed heavily, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. "We can't afford to have two men down for that long. We don't have enough people as it is. As soon as they can fight again, they're back on duty."

Shizune nodded jerkily. She knew. She understood. That didn't mean she liked it, at all, but she knew that no matter how much any of them hurt, no matter what happened, they had to keep moving forward, never stopping.

Sensei, your arm--

It's fine, Shizune. Don't worry yourself with it.

But I can--

I said that it's fine. There's nothing you can do, anyway.

"I understand, Tsunade-sama," she said softly, shifting her weight and swinging her legs over the side of the cot. Instantly, her head began to pound. She shut her eyes tightly, breathing slowly, trying to will the pain away.

"Shizune--"

"I'm fine." She pushed herself to her feet, finding herself to be surprisingly stable. Just the headache, and few dull throbs of pain in various parts of her body. "I just...I need to see them."

Tsunade was silent for a moment, then she nodded. "All right. You're lucky that you recover quickly from chakra depletion. Your clothes are on the chair, and your boys are two rooms over; room 106. Make sure you don't do anything stupid. There are several teams schedualed to get back in today, and there's always the chance that I'll be needing you to assist them."

"Understood." She waited until Tsunade had left the room, then proceeded to discard the hospital garb, pulling on her normal garment, belting it tightly. Her skin felt very sensitive in places, the fabric feeling incredibly harsh against it. She ignored it, attempted to ignore her headache, and made her way carefully out of the room.

She paused outside of the door that would lead her to her teammates. She took one breath, than another, and then pulled sharply on the handle.

The room was dimly lit, the curtains closed almost all the way, only narrow beams of light falling over the floor from gaps in the light fabric. The lights were off, and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness.

She saw them soon enough. Two beds, the ones closest to the window, were occupied; every other bed was empty. Walking closer, she found that neither was awake—asleep or unconscious, or even dead, if she hadn't seen the slow rise and fall of their chests that told her they were still breathing.

She walked to Genma's side first, setting two fingers to the side of his neck, checking for a pulse. It didn't matter that she could see him breathing; she needed to know for sure that he was alive. That they both were alive. She sent the smallest thread of chakra into him, letting it run through his body, checking the damage. It was significantly less than when she had so desperately tried to heal them both out in the forest.

Then she went to Raidou, repeating the process, finding him to be alive and healing. She sank down beside the bed, resting her head on the mattress. Her headache had faded somewhat, but it was the shear relief at them both being alive, all right, still there that made her feel so tired.

She rested there, her eyes half closed, watching Raidou breath. So many times. There had been so many times that she had seen both of them like this, silently lying in hospital cots. So many times covered in blood, nearly dead out in the forest. So many times, and yet they still kept going.

She wondered how Raidou had acquired the scar on his face. It looked like it had been painful, almost as though the skin had been melted. She wondered if it ended at his neck, or if it continued downward. She wondered how badly he had been hurt, and who had healed him, if it had been Rin. She wondered what happened to Rin.

She wondered about so many thing, and she knew that she had missed so much. So, so much. Eight years worth of laughter and pain, of injuries, of death and life and everything else. So much of their lives; of Genma's and Raidou's and Rin's and Aoba's and everyone else who she had know and cared about. Looking at the two men who had been her teammates and friends, she knew that she didn't even know them anymore, just as they really didn't know her. She wasn't the Shizune they remembered, and they weren't her Genma or her Raidou. She wished...

She wrote two letters, ink staining her hands by the time she was done. Only two letters, one for Raidou and one for Genma. They explained nothing and everything, and she sealed them in envelopes, slipping them into their lockers in the Anbu headquarters before she left.

She wished...

There was the sound of rustling sheets from across the room, and Shizune looked up. Genma was awake, sitting up—or, at least, attempting to—looking over at her with confused eyes.

"Shizune?" His voice was hoarse, and she saw him swallow heavily before continuing to speak. "Where—are you—is Raidou--?"

"Raidou's alive," she said, rising to her feet and moving towards him. "And so is Iwashi. He managed to get help in time, and so..."

"You?"

She smiled wryly, without much humor. "I passed out from chakra depletion."

He looked at her with a furrowed brow, frowning. "You—never mind. How long has it been?"

"Six hours. Give or take a little bit..." She moved quickly to his side, helping him to sit up. He groaned, leaning against the head of the bed. "Careful, Genma. I don't want to have to heal you again." He glanced at her through hooded eyes, skeptically, and her hand flew to her mouth. "I didn't mean that I wouldn't—I mean--"

"I know." He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back. "How...how bad was it?"

She bit down on the inside of her lip, sitting down beside him on the cot. "It...wasn't good. Not at all. You had a lot of internal damage. If Iwashi and I had come just a few minutes later, neither of you might have made it. But I managed to heal you both as best I could, given the situation."

"Well, then I'm glad you're the medic on our team. I couldn't have asked for a better one."

She gave a small laugh. "If you didn't have a medic, I'm sure you would try harder not to get hurt." But her cheeks flushed lightly at the compliment. "But we're all alive, so..."

"That's what counts right now," Genma said, his eyes opening, watching her carefully. "Thanks for getting us out of that, Shizune."

"You're welcome." She smiled warmly at him. "Just make sure you don't do anything to undo all the healing I've done. It wasn't fun to fix, so..."

"Gotcha. I won't do anything stupid." He smiled at her then, the senbon missing, his hair loose all around his face, and for some reason she couldn't help but laugh.

"I didn't say you couldn't do anything stupid," she pointed out, her eyes sparkling. "I said not to do anything to hurt yourself. So do all the stupid things you want, just as long as you don't kill yourself."

Genma chuckled. "You've said that before."

"When?"

"Long time ago." He glanced away from her, looking down at his hands. "I don't know...I think we were fourteen or so?"

She frowned, thinking back. "You remember something from that long ago?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah...but then, I'd probably remember that incident a whole lot more than you, seeing as I was the one who got into a whole lot of shit for it..."

"With...Sensei?"

"Yeah." He kept his eyes cast downward, avoiding her, and Shizune realized her mistake. She should have known better than to mention their teacher to him.

There was silence between them, then, as Shizune sought for something else to say. Inwardly, she felt as though her two words had effectively killed the conversation.

"Why were you gone for so long, Shizune?" Genma said finally, looking at her once more. "Why didn't you come home? We...we needed you." She saw his eyes dart towards Raidou, if only for an instant.

"I'm sorry." And she was. She was so sorry for being gone so long.

"Why didn't you write? That one letter...it wasn't enough, Shizune." There was bitterness in his words, and in his eyes, and it was Shizune's turn to look down at her hands to avoid his gaze.

"I couldn't," she said, forcing the words out. "It...it was..."

He sighed, defeated. "I know. I know, I know that you couldn't. It's just...we didn't know if you were alive at all. Eight years and not a word--" He coughed several times, and Shizune was relieved that there was no blood.

"Careful, please. I'm sorry, Genma. I really, really am. But I just couldn't. I couldn't. Please understand."

"I do."

Of course he would. Of course he did. Genma always did, even when he didn't want to. She knew that about him. It didn't matter what it was, he would try to understand. Even if he didn't agree with it, he would try to look outside of himself and see it for how it was.

I'm sorry. I didn't...I didn't know.

Laughter. I know. How could you?

I'm really, really sorry. Genma, I--

It doesn't matter, Shizune. I didn't tell you.

"How long did it take for you to give up on me?" she asked, glancing up at him, wondering and yet not wanting to know. "When did you all decide that I was gone for good?"

He looked at her, his eyes unreadable. "I didn't."

A/N: I've very sorry for the long wait. The beginning of this thing just didn't want to be written. And I've been sick--and I've been having really bad headaches. And I've just been really, really busy. Real life never slows down.

Oh, and the Shizune being related to Hayate idea? Complete crack. Came from seeing one too many fanarts in which Hayate look like a flat chested Shizune.

Thank you all for waiting, and for reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter; I'll attempt to get the next written. I really do want to keep writing this. If it drops off again...throw something at me, will you?

Raven