A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. They make me sooo happy (that's how sad my life is).

To White Orchid: Mystery Science Theater 3000 fo' Life!

To Goldylokz: Lol, that Flesh Eating Mothers sounds better than Reefer Madness

2 – Enemies With Benefits

Rogue stopped by the Acolytes base the next morning and found a certain pyromaniac lying on the couch, every inch of him covered in white bandages. She burst into laughter at the sight.

"Awww, did Pyro's girlfriend beat the shit out of him?" She asked in a fake sympathetic tone. John scowled at her with his arms crossed.

"No," He said matter-of-factly. "The toaster did. And are you calling that psychotic freak my girlfriend?"

"Well every psychotic freak needs love, Johnny, even you." Said Rogue still laughing.

"Hey," Rogue looked up and saw Remy standing on the staircase. He'd jumped out of bed when he heard her voice downstairs.

"Hey," She said back smiling. They were both silent for a second.

John rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, you can cut the sexual tension in here with a knife."

"ahh.. we were gonna go out for lunch, 'member?" Said Rogue smirking at John's comment.

"Oh, right, sorry." Said Remy grabbing his coat.

"Uh, Rems?"

"Oui?" Remy asked.

"Yah wanna put pants on first?" Rogue asked. Remy suddenly remembered what he was wearing, boxers and a wife beater. (1)

"Oh yeah." He spun around and went to run upstairs.

"Hey, Remy?" Said Rogue. Remy turned back around. "Ah love the ducks."

Remy looked down at his boxers. "Yeah? More than the penguins?"

"Nothing tops the penguins."

xXx

Lance Alvers lazily walked into the bathroom on the second floor of Mystique's house. He felt around the sink for his toothbrush, too tired to open his eyes. He found it and shoved it in his mouth, he couldn't stand morning breath.

But the second it touched his tongue, his eyes shot open. He gagged and spit the thing out. It fell into the sink and Lance saw that it was dripping green slime.

"TOAD!"

The green teenager who happened to be hopping by the bathroom at that moment was pummeled to the ground.

"Oh, hey Lance." He greeted the boy who was pinning him to the ground.

"What have I told you about using my toothbrush!?"

"Actually you said nothing about you're toothbrush, but last week you did yell at me for using your hair brush."

"Yeah, cause you gave me fleas!!!"

"I did not!" Toad was deeply offended. "Never in my life have I had fleas! Maybe lice, but fleas!?"

"Argh!" Lance stood up, holding Toad by his collar. "I swear to God, you use any of my toiletries ever again," Lance stopped when Toad burst into laughter. "What!?"

"You said 'toiletries'," Said Toad giggling. Lance rolled his eyes and flung Toad down the hallway into the door of Wanda's room.

The door broke off its hinges and Toad landed on the floor of the goth's room. The room was pitch black except for a couple candles scattered about the floor. On the bed there was a figure sitting Indian style murmuring something. Her eyes shot open.

"Hey, sweetums." Greeted Toad with his yellow smile.

"Argh!" Wanda screeched jumping off the bed. She grabbed Toad by the ankle and dragged him out of her room and threw him on the floor in the hall. "What the hell!?"

"It was Lance's fault." Said Toad quickly.

"I don't care who's fault it was!" Wanda screeched.

"What were doing in there?" Lance asked thoroughly creeped out.

"Meditating." Said Wanda glaring at the mullet king.

"Isn't meditating supposed to be relaxing?"

Wanda clenched her teeth. "Don't I seem relaxed to you?"

"No not really." Said Toad. That got him sent flying down the staircase.

"I have to get out of here!" yelled Wanda storming out the front door. "Don't go in my room!"

xXx

"So where to?" Remy asked as he and Rogue wandered around the streets of Bayville.

Rogue shrugged. "Ah don't care so long as cook's name isn't Cookie."

"Do his views on abortion matter too?" (2) Remy asked sarcastically.

xXx

The locks on the doors to the Acolytes' base were surprisingly easy to pick. Wanda walked in and found the living room empty. It was quiet…too quiet. Just then Wanda heard noise from the kitchen. It sounded like music. She walked over to the door. Is that Cyndi Lauper?

She braced herself as she pushed the swinging door, afraid what she might find behind it. It was Cyndi Lauper and in the kitchen dancing, was St. John Allerdyce.

"They just wanna! They just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun!" Sang the Ausie along with the radio as he washed the dishes in the sink.

"What The Fu- started Wanda before John flinched at her voice and practically fell into the sink.

"Wanda!" He said quickly reaching for the volume on the stereo.

"Cyndi Lauper," Said Wanda ready to burst out laughing. "Interesting choice for a dishwashing soundtrack."

John rolled his eyes. "It came on the radio. My hands were all soapy I couldn't change it."

"So you sang and danced to it." Added Wanda.

John rolled his eyes and went back to washing the dishes really not caring what a gothic maniac thought of him. "What are you doing here anyway?" He asked. He could still here Cyndi faintly after he'd turned the volume down and began to mouth the lyrics.

"Do you have any food?" Wanda asked digging through the cupboards.

John washed his hands off and gabbed jar off the counter and presented her with "Authentic Australian Vegemite" He said holding it out to her. Wanda looked at the jar with a disgusted face, then looked up to John.

"You're too Australian for your own good."

"I am not, I don't like AC/DC." Defended John. "but if you're not gonna eat anything, you can go."

"How can you not like AC/DC?" Asked the witch in disbelief.

"Angus Young's little school boy shorts annoy me." Admitted John. "And like I just said-

"I know, I know, I'm going. At least let me get a beer." She walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle from the fridge.

"Wait!" Yelled John. "You can't drink that."

"And why is that?" Asked Wanda irritated.

"We need rules."

"Rules?" Wanda asked.

"For when we're around each other, to prevent the other night's… 'occurrences'."

"ah," Wanda put the bottle of beer down on the counter. "Rules."

"Yeah, and I think one of them should be no beer."

"Right." Wanda put the beer back in the fridge and turned back to the Ausie. "What else?"

"At least three feet between us at all times."

"Makes sense." Said Wanda and she took a step back.

"Alright then."

"So now that I can't have beer is their any way for me to kill my boredom around here? I really don't feal like going back to the Brotherhood"

"I was gonna watch a movie."

"Which one?"

"An old cult classic you've probably never heard of."

"Try me."

"Santa Clause Conquers the Martians."

Wanda's eyes shot wide open. "I LOVE that movie!!"

"Seriously?" John asked surprised. Wanda nodded quickly. "Most people find it really stupid."

"But that's why it's awesome!"

"Exactly!"

They both ran out into the living room. John stuck the video in the VCR and hopped on the couch next to Wanda. They looked at each other.

"Rules." They said at the same time before they retreated to opposite sides of the couch.

xXx

Rogue sat across from Remy in a booth in a small diner on the edge of town. Remy looked around the place, at the cracks in the ceiling, the broken jukebox, and the man in the corner who looked to be either dead or passed out.

"Jesus Christ, when was the last time the health inspector stopped by?"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "It's fihne."

"Y'say dat now, Chere, but wait till y'find a cockroach in yah're soup."

Rogue shook her head. "The rats eat the cockroaches."

Remy starred at her scared that she was actually being serious. Rogue rolled her eyes once again.

"Ah was kiddin', Swamprat."

"Dat's not very comforting."

A waitress who's hair was teased to with in an inch of its life strolled over with a pad of paper and asked them what they wanted.

"Ah'll have a BLT with a side of fries." Said Rogue handing her menu to the waitress.

"And you?" The waitress asked the Cajun.

"Would you mind telling me what grade the health inspector gave you?" Asked Remy.

Rogue sighed. "He'll have what Ah'm havin',"

The waitress walked back into the kitchen and Rogue glared Remy from across the table.

"Honestly, why do yah have to be six years old?"

Remy shrugged. "Its more fun."

Rogue rolled her eyes and looked over at the passed out man in the corner wondering how long he'd been there. She glanced back to Remy and found him staring at her.

She sighed. "What?"

"Yah've got really beautiful eyes, Chere." He said from behind his dark sunglasses.

"Yah've already caught meh, Swamprat, yah don't have to keep casting bate."

"Oui, Chere, Remy has caught yah, but he has yet to reel you in."

"Oh? And just what defines 'reeling meh in'?" Rogue asked with an eyebrow cocked.

Remy smirked and winked at her. A quick second later he ducked under the table. Rogue sighed, she didn't have time for this.

"Damn it, Swamprat! Get back up here!" She said blindly kicking around beneath the table. If he's actually tryin' to 'reel meh in' Ah swear to God- Rogue froze as she glanced at the front door to the diner and saw just what Remy was hiding from.

"Logan!" She yelped out of surprise to see the man strolling in the front door.

"Hey, Stripes." The six-foot goon greeted as he walked over to the table. "Lunch?"

"Ah, yeah," Said Rogue nervously. If Logan knew who was under the table Remy'd be in six hundred pieces and he'd probably never let Rogue see the light of day again.

Under the table… And it was then that Rogue realized how short her skirt happened to be. She slammed her legs together.

"You like this place? I've never been here." Continued Logan looking around the diner. Rogue shrugged not sure how to handle this situation. "Is that guy alright?" Logan asked spotting the man in the corner.

Rogue shrugged again. "Not sure."

Logan sighed. "Ah whatever, Ah'll just go down to the pub."

"You do that." Said Rogue.

Logan squinted as he sniffed the air. "Do they make gumbo?"

Rogue shrugged. Crap Crap Crap…

"Whatever, I'll see you later." Said the Canadian.

"Yeah," Said Rogue as Logan strolled out of the diner. Once he was out the door Rogue let out a breath she'd be holding and Remy crawled back into his seat with a smirk.

Rogue glared at him. "What?"

"Nice panties, Chere. Didn't know yah lihked pink."

xXx

Remy and Rogue walked into the Acolytes base to catch the end of the credits of Santa Clause Conquers the Martians. The living room was empty but the racket that was coming from the kitchen gave them a pretty good indication that Wanda was there.

They sat on the couch and attempted to watch TV while Armageddon occurred in the kitchen.

"Shut the hell up!" Screeched an Australian. There was a crash and he continued with: "Jesus Christ!"

"I swear to god! I'm gonna kill you!" Yelled the Scarlet Witch before they heard more crashing. And after a bit more crashing the Scarlet Witch continued to yell, but something had changed in her tone.

"oh…uh… oh John!" This was followed up by a large bit of moaning. Remy and Rogue's eyes met across the couch. They shared the same uneasy expression. After some more moaning they quickly ran up the stairs to the second floor.

xXx

"What the hell was that?" Asked John pulling his pants up.

Wanda shrugged. "I dunno." She said as she buttoned her shirt.

"We didn't drink any beer." Said John still utterly confused.

"I know." Said Wanda as confused as the Ausie.

"One minute you're beating me over the head with a frying pan and the next…"

"I know." Said Wanda.

"I mean… its not that it was bad." Said John hesitantly.

Wanda nodded. "A definite five stars."

"Its just that… I mean we…we shouldn't be…ur we're just not very compatible outside the bedroom." Said John.

"Or the kitchen." Said Wanda.

"Yes, or the kitchen."

"But we are compatible in the kitchen."

John nodded. "Yeah."

"So…" Started Wanda.

"So?"

"So… maybe we could have our time in the kitchen, and our time outside of the kitchen." Said Wanda trying to put it in the right words.

"Like friends with benefits?" John asked.

Wanda shook her head. "More like enemies with benefits."

"Do I get dental?"

xXx

1 – Remy gets caught pants-less a lot in this.

2 - In the episode of Seinfeld, 'The Couch' Elaine refuses to eat at a restaurant because the owner is prolife and then brakes up with her boyfriend because he is prolife.

A/N: I NEED SUGGESTIONS!!! I'm working on this AU fic where Pyro's in a band and I need suggestions for the other members. I need characters for the guitar, bass, and drums. And if you have any ideas for rodies or groupies tell me. (No OC's please.)