A/N: Took me long enough, I know. But I'm going to try and start making this whole updating with in six months thing a habit. Enjoy.

Gambit-Rogue: Here are a couple of clarifications:

Tylenol – a popular over-the-counter painkiller, I heard somewhere it was only sold in America.

Windex – a cleaning fluid used on glass surfaces (I would not recommend drinking any.)

AC/DC – a 1970's Australian classic rock band, Angus Young was the guitarist

Arboretum – a public park with lots of trees

4 – Those are strings, Pinocchio (1)

Logan scowled as the shrill scream of the telephone echoed through the halls of the institute over and over. After about five minutes of incessant ringing he picked it up and growled a greeting into the receiver.

"Oh..HELLO!" Said what sounded like an elderly woman with bronchitis. "I'm, uh, Mrs. …Peterson."

"Who?" Asked the confused Canadian.

"Mrs. Peterson, from Bayville high. I'm Rogue's guidance councilor."

"What did she flunk a quiz or something?" Asked Logan.

"Oh, no, no, nothing like that, I was just calling to chat."

"Chat?" Asked Logan suspiciously.

"Yeah you know, girl talk. Talk about menstrual cycles and what not."

"Alright." Said Logan unsure why Rogue would be chatting about menstrual cycles with her elderly guidance councilor who had a terrible case of bronchitis. But he brought the phone to her anyway. He knocked on the door to the room that was blasting Rage Against the Machine. "Uh, Rogue?"

The door opened quickly and there stood the Goth. "Yeah?" She asked slightly annoyed. People should've known better than to disturb her during her Rage time.

"A Mrs. Peterson is on the phone for you to talk about menstrual cycles." Said the Canadian.

"Who?" asked Rogue.

Logan shrugged. "I dunno, says she's your guidance councilor."

"Oh!" Said Rogue quickly. "Mrs. Peterson!" She snatched the phone from Logan and disappeared back into her room. "Y'know, yah should really try to stick to one alias, Cajun." She said to 'Mrs. Peterson'.

Remy sighed into the receiver. "Oui, Ah know, but when Wolvie answers the phone Ah freeze, Ah can never remember that Ah'm Anton Schmidt, an exchange student from Berlin who forgot his Chemistry homework."

"That's why yah need to write things down."

"Did Ah disturb you during your Rage time?" Remy asked noting the music he could hear in the background.

Rogue reached over to her stereo and turned the volume down. "Eh, Its alright if you disturb meh."

"awwww" Said Remy mockingly.

"And did Logan say something about menstrual cycles?"

"uhh…" Said the Cajun.

"Is that really what you think girls talk about?"

"uhh…"

"You do, don't you. You think we sit around at sleepovers and talk about tampon brands."

"Well, yeah, after the lingerie pillow fight."

"Yah're an idiot."

"And you're mad dat Ah interrupted yah're Rage time."

Rogue sighed. "No, just remember its Fridays at four thirty, and write it down next to Anton Schmidt."

"Am doing."

"So yah called."

"Oui."

"Was there a reason?" Rogue asked.

"Um.." Thought Remy. "Ah think so."

"Do yah remember the reason?"

"……..non."

Rolled her eyes. "Well tell me tomorrow."

"Yah coming over?"

"Yup."

"See yah then."

"Kay, bye."

Rogue clicked the 'off' button on the phone and turned Rage back up. Kitty, who was sitting on her bed reading Teen Vogue, looked up.

"Who's Mrs. Peterson?"

xXx

"Argh!" Screeched the witch at the top of her lungs. "Just get out!!!" John was then hurtled from the room and straight into the adjacent wall.

"But it's my room!" He yelled back from the floor.

Wanda sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, you Australian waste of space!" Wanda shrieked before she stomped over his bruised body and down the hall.

John took a moment to catch his breath and make sure all his body parts were in place before crawling back into the sty that he called home.

Wanda was fuming. The pictures flew off the walls as she stomped down the stairs. She stormed into the living room. A lamp flew off an end table and went straight at the front door, which happened to be wide open.

The southern belle who was in the process of entering the building hit the floor in order to avoid collision.

"Jesus, Wanda, Ah'm tryin' ta walk here." Rogue said still on the floor.

"Argh!" Wanda buried her face in her hands and flopped down on the couch.

"Let meh guess.. John?" Rogue asked kicking her shoes off and throwing her jacket on a chair beside the door.

"How'd yah guess?" Asked Wanda sarcastically, finally calm enough to form words.

Rogue smirked. "Its takes a true genius to piss anyone off this much. Plus Ah could hear yah two from a block away."

"You'd think he'd learn to just shut up." Started Wanda. "But no, he just keeps talking and talking and spewing out all this idiotic dribble. I swear to God I could have a more intelligent conversation with a monkey."

Rogue sat in a chair a few feet from the couch; she didn't want to be with in arms length from Wanda at the moment. "Ah'm not sure Ah get this relationship."

"Its not really a relationship." Said Wanda. "Its more like –

"Random sex and ass beatings?" Rogue asked.

Wanda sighed. "The ass beating aren't scheduled, John's just retarded."

"But don't yah think its kinda meaningless to just have sex with some one you can't stand?"

Wanda sighed. "I can stand him… sometimes."

Just then a red-eyed Cajun came hopping down the stairs.

"Hey, Mrs. Peterson." Greeted Rogue. Remy gave her a sarcastic smirk and then turned to Wanda.

"Do you know where the mop is?"

"Why?" Wanda asked rubbing her temples.

"John left a trail o' blood through the hallway."

Wanda growled "That IDIOT!" and stomped up the stairs.

With the angry bitch out of the room Remy casually slinked over to Rogue. She looked up at him from her seated position.

"So yah wanna have a pillow fight in our panties?"

Remy took a moment to visualize that before retorting.

"No. Ah have cramps." He said matter-o-factly.

xXx

Wanda sat on the sink counter in the bathroom after mopping up the stream of blood that John had left in the hallway. Of course by the time she got to it much of the blood had sunk into the wood so there now was a permanent burgundy stain, though it matched well with the coffee stain that had somehow found its way to the ceiling.

She slowly removed the three-inch thick rubber gloves she'd worn for the job along with the surgeon's mask and tossed them into the trash that was filled to the brim with blood stained tissues and used condoms.

There was a passing thought in the witch's head of what hilarious mayhem might ensue if the acolyte boys bothered to hire a cleaning lady, but then of course that would interfere with the bet she had with Remy of how long it would take the city to condemn the building.

This was interrupted by a bruised and battered figure appearing in the doorway. John struck a pose straight out of Playgirl magazine, which unfortunately was ruined by his greenish blue cheekbone and the tissue shoved up his left nostril to stop the flow of blood.

" 'ello, Love" He greeted in a husky voice. It'd been a good half an hour since their last brawl so his libido had re-awoken and he figured Wanda had had time enough to take her anger out on the other residents of the base.

Wanda rolled her eyes and hopped off the counter.

"Spare me your pathetic attempt at foreplay." She said grabbing his collar and dragging him back into his sty.

xXx

Wanda lay in John's decrepit bed wondering when was the last he washed his sheets. The Australian was snoring beside her. She felt thoroughly disgusting. John rolled over toward her so that they were less than a centimeter apart and his open snoring mouth was blowing his rancid breath allover her face. Wanda grimaced and nudged him away from her till there was a thud and he was snoring on the floor. She sighed.

"Damn it, Rogue"

xXx

"That's disgusting," Said the Rogue as she dug through the cabinets in the kitchen after having found nothing but beer and what looked cheese in the refrigerator.

"What Chere?" Remy asked.

Rogue gave Remy a blank stare. She had been referring to his last comment. "Mayonnaise on a french-fry? That's an abomination."

"You're a very close-minded person, Chere." Said Remy watching her struggle to find something edible with in the house.

Rogue rolled her eyes, though her back was turned to him. "Mah sincerest apologies to the people of Holland. But if Ah ever go there, remind meh to bring mah own bottle of Heinz." (2)

The door to the kitchen swung open and Wanda trudged in. She looked from the Remy to Rogue, grabbed Rogue by the arm, and dragged her out of the room.

"What is it Wanda?" Rogue asked after Wanda had dragged her into a back hallway.

"You ruined sex for me."

"What?" Asked Rogue bewildered.

"You said all the crap about sex with someone you hate, and now, It's ruined. You couldn't just leave it alone; let me have sex with out any strings attached, but no you had to connect all this guilt to it."

"What guilt?" Asked Rogue still completely confused. "All I did was express my opinion, you didn't have to take it to heart."

Wanda sighed and crossed her arms. "Well how are you going to fix this?"

xXx

After five minutes of Remy intently trying to eavesdrop on the conversation from the kitchen Rogue returned with a smirk on her face.

"What?" Asked Remy fearing the worst.

"We're going on a date."

xXx

1– title stolen from Gilmore Girls

2– Any Quentin Tarantino fans might have recognized the mayonnaise-on-french-fries conversation from Pulp Fiction. Those are the best parts of his movies, the weird conversations, like the "Like a Virgin" discussion in Reservoir Dogs.

A/N: Up next 'Montey Python and the HOLY SHIT!'

I'm seriously considering hiking up the rating on this, between all the sex, swearing, and all around depravity there isn't much room left for any morals or decency, not that I care about any of that crap, but Tipper Gore might take me to court.