TWO

Lily woke up early on her second day at home for the school holidays, and already she was growing mad with a desire to go and talk to Severus. She lay on her bed and tried to get into a book, but she couldn't concentrate. She spent every moment wishing the phone would ring or the door would knock and it would be him, begging for her forgiveness and swearing he would have nothing more to do with the Death Eaters.

But she knew he would never do that. Even if he did have doubts, which she really didn't think he had, he could never really talk to her. She had always been so open with him, she felt like she could tell him anything and he knew all her secrets, but he had always seemed a lot more eager to listen than to talk. She often got the impression he had something he wanted to say to her, but he couldn't.

Lily knew that Severus had a crush on her. She knew because all her friends said so, and because of the way he looked at her sometimes. The truth was that she had always harboured feelings for him, but she refused to get into a relationship with someone who planned on being a Death Eater.

She paced the room and kept looking out the window, knowing that she wouldn't see him there. He likes me, she thought. He wants me. And the truth is, if he hadn't chosen the life he has, I would want him too.

Then she had an idea. When I talked to him about it in school, I was talking about being his friend. But if he thought he could be with me, he might feel differently.

She grinned. Quickly she put on a light green blouse and a black floaty skirt which came to just above her knees. She never worried much about makeup, but she took a moment to put on some mascara and a bit of lip stick. Then she brushed her hair, twisted it up into a barrett, and squirted herself with some perfume Severus had made for her the previous year for Christmas.

Then she left a quick note on the kitchen table for her parents and happily skipped off to Spinners End.

At half past eight in the morning the Snape house was almost completely silent. Severus had stayed up late the night before trying to write a letter to Lily, a letter he knew he would never send. The first few drafts had declared his undying love for her, he'd even asked her to marry him, but as he'd read them he knew he had no right to send it. Not only did he think that she would be disgusted by the thought of being with him, but he also believed that even if she did say yes, he didn't deserve her.

He was still asleep in his room upstairs.

Eileen Snape was sitting in the kitchen smoking a cigarette, her eyes puffy from crying after the fight she'd had with her husband in the small hours of the morning. She had slept for a few hours and then come downstairs to wait for everyone else to wake up so she could make breakfast and get on as if nothing had happened.

Tobias Snape was draped unceremoniously on the sofa snoring loudly, with a nearly empty bottle of whiskey hanging out of his hand. His mouth was open and he was drooling slightly in his sleep.

Eileen got up and decided to go and stand in the back yard for a moment to get some air, so she didn't hear when the front door knocked.

Lily stepped timidly up to the door. She was excited at the prospect of flirting with Severus, which she had never done very much before, but she was also nervous that he might not want to see her, and she also felt anxious about calling at his house like this since he had always gone out of his way to keep her away from his family.

She knocked the door firmly, and as she was about to knock again, the door opened and a tall, dishevelled man with rough stubble leered down at her.

"Um, hi. I was looking for Severus?"

"What?" he slurred.

"Oh, um, Severus Snape, do I have the wrong -"

"No, no. He's here. Come in," he said, opening the door a little wider but not moving, so she had to squeeze past him to get in. She laughed nervously.

He closed the door and took a swig of his bottle, then stood and looked her up and down for minute. She shuffled uncomfortably and looked up the stairs.

"So, sh- should I go up and…"

"Nah, he'll come down. Wait in there," he said, nodding to the door on his left.

She looked up the stairs again, wondering how Severus would know to come down if they didn't call him, but she decided it would be rude to shout for him so she just smiled again and went into the room the man had indicated.

It was a small sitting room, with sparse furniture and a small television. She decided not to sit down, because she didn't want to give the impression she was staying. The man walked towards her and she stood her ground, but his breath was nauseating and as he swaggered he nearly bumped into her, so she started to step back.

"Um, are you going to call him?" she asked as politely as she could.

The man sneered. "Sure honey, if that's what you want," but he made no effort to do so. He took another swig from the bottle and then asked, "so are you like, his girlfriend, or something?"

"Oh, no, we're friends, actually we had an argument, I was hoping we could sort it out…"

She didn't know why she had given him all this information, she just wanted to keep him talking, because by now her back was up against the mantle and he was standing dangerously close. She tried not to wretch from the stench of alcohol and smoke on his breath.

"No, I didn't think you would be. You're far to pretty for him -" he slurred, and to her horror he dropped the now empty bottle and put his right hand on the wall behind her head and used his left hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.

She wanted to call for Severus, but she was worried that this man would be angry and it occurred to her that she might not even have the right house, and she had just walked willingly into this pervert's home. His hand went down to her skirt and slowly started to pull it up. She shivered, and he grinned.

"You like that, don't you?"

"No. Please stop. I just want to speak to Severus." She struggled to keep her voice steady.

The man's hand had reached her panties and was rubbing them. She thought she was going to be sick. She realised she hadn't even brought her wand.

"Severus!" she called over his shoulder, praying he would hear her. The man, who Lily presumed to be Severus' father, didn't like this. He slapped her with the back of his hand and his wedding ring stung her face. Tears welled up in her eyes but she was determined not to cry.

Just then a woman came into the room, and Lily knew at least that she was not in the wrong house. This woman bore a strong resemblance to Severus, and she did not look pleased.

"Who the fuck are you?" she demanded.

"Fuck off, cunt," muttered the man. He put his fingers inside Lily's panties and started to slip them into her.

She panicked. "Please, I was just looking for Severus -"

"Get your fucking hands off my husband you slut!" screamed the woman.

If she hadn't been so frightened and disgusted, Lily might have laughed.

"Please, if you could just call Severus I'll -"

"You expect me to let you near my son? You're that little mudblood from down the road aren't you? I'm going to kill you -"

But before she got the chance to make good on that promise, Severus came into the room. He pushed his mother out of the way, drew his wand and shouted "stupefy!" at his father, who immediately fell like a statue to the ground. Lily nearly cried with relief.

"Don't you dare use your wand on your father!" screeched the woman, but Severus had grabbed Lily's hand and was dragging her out of the room and out the front door.

"I'm sorry," said Lily over her shoulder to the woman, who was white with rage.

"Don't bother," muttered Severus as he hurried her out and shut the door behind them. He kept ushering her along the street, and the woman came out of the house and screamed abuse until they were out of sight.

Once they turned the corner, they slowed down. Neither of them had to ask where they were going, they had a spot they always went to to be alone together and they both automatically started walking towards it.

"I'm sorry, I should have phoned first, but I thought maybe if I asked, you might not want to see me, and -" she couldn't think of anything else to say, and Severus just stared in front on him with a very sullen look on his face. She wished he would say something, but she thought now that maybe he didn't want to see her and he was just walking with her out of guilt because of what his parents had done. She wanted to tell him it was okay, that it wasn't his fault, but she wasn't sure whether he wanted to hear it.

The place they always sat together was in a patch of trees beside the park, it was pretty enclosed and they never got interrupted there. Lily sat down on a large flat rock which they had moved to use as a seat. It was big enough for both of them but Severus made a point of sitting opposite her on the ground. He picked up a bunch of grass and started shredding it, and then he looked at her for the first time. She was really beautiful, as always, but she had obviously made and extra effort today because she had makeup on which was a rare occurrence. This made him more cross because he felt like she was trying to tease him with something he couldn't have. Her mascara had smudged slightly because her eyes had been welling up and it made her look even more beautiful, in his opinion, because it created a smokey affect.

He noticed that a bruise was starting to show on her cheek and he felt awful. He chose to break the silence, because she obviously wasn't going to.

"Did he hurt you?"

"He - he just slapped me, it wasn't hard. Don't worry about it."

Severus' heart sank. Right now he wanted to kill his father, how dare he touch my Lily, and he knew he was in for a big confrontation when he got home because of the spell he had cast. But that didn't matter for now. At least he was with Lily, which he hadn't thought would ever happen again.

"Lily."

"Yes?"

"Why did you come to see me?"

She looked into his eyes. "I…" she appeared to be struggling to find the words. "I couldn't bear the thought that I would never see you again. I meant everything I said last time we spoke, Severus. I hate You-Know-Who and everything he stands for, but I… I can't hate you."

Severus suddenly felt like he was floating on air. He suppressed a smile. He looked down at the grass in his hands which he had been demolishing, and dropped it. Then he wiped his hands clean and got up to sit beside her. She leant into him and he put his arm around her. "That means a lot, Lily."

She smiled up at him, but then she looked serious again.

"But Sev, you still intend to…"

He looked searchingly into her eyes. "I just… I don't see how I can't. It's the only thing I've ever planned to do. But if… I just don't know. Can't we just spend some time together, and not think about the future for now?"

Slowly she smiled. "We can't put it off forever Sev. But for now, I think that sounds like a good idea."

They both grinned happily and hugged each other tight.

"You know Sev, when you smile like that, you're really quite handsome," she said looking up at him with a cheeky smile.

He went red and looked away, but inside his heart was doing summersaults.