A/N: Warning as usual for strong language. JE owns the names, but the rest is all mine. Though a few random lines in this story have been borrowed from the fab film 'From Dusk 'Til Dawn.' Give yourself a pat on the back and a cookie if you can spot them. Survival techniques and sneakiness courtesy of Andy McNab's Bravo Two Zero

Let Sleeping Tank's Lie – A Cautionary Tale

Chapter 4

"Can we stop yet?" Zero whined again.

"Are we there yet?" Bobby teased his long suffering partner.

Lester tried to ignore the two comedians walking five paces behind him, but it was getting harder with every irritating comment they made and every step they took. He shut them out of his mind and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. He counted his steps in his head, getting to 107 and sliding another knot on the piece of string he held in his left hand through his fingers. He re-started his count at zero again. 107 of his steps was roughly 100m, and the ten knots passed on the piece of string signified a kilometer. Marking distance the lo-tech way. This is nothing, he told himself. He was an ex – Delta – one of America's best, and there was no way on this earth that he was going to let the ex-SEAL and the ex-Ranger, or the lack of equipment get to him. He took another swig of water, and continued to hatch a plan to get them out of there, and first and foremost to remove Zero's bugged tiara.

"I'm bored," Zero griped, "and I need to pee."

Lester span around and glared. "For the love of God, Zero, just shut the fuck up! How the hell am I supposed to fix this mess, when all you have been doing for the past ten clicks is complain and moan. And just take a leak, man. Do you see anybody for miles, who could possibly see, let alone care about the sight of your dick?"

Zero paled at Lester's words, tugged an empty water bottle from his beach bag, and skulked off to about twenty feet away to take care of business, putting his back to them.

Bobby pulled out his own empty water bottle to piss into. Until they knew that they were on friendly territory, it was imperative that they left behind no trace of their passage, hence the need to take a leak into a bottle.

"'Scuse me a sec, bro. I've got to drain the lizard too." Bobby grinned.

"Fine, go!" Lester growled. He rummaged about in his bag for the tenth time, hoping for some divine inspiration in regards to the tracking devise. They could cut through the metal, severing the chip from the tiny battery that they suspected was housed in the ball end of the tiara. But by doing that it would mean that the tracker would stop working, thus signaling to Ric that they had found it. What they really needed to do was remove it and fix it to something else – a car or an animal – something to confuse the boss for 24 hours and get some distance between them and the accursed thing.

His fingers curled around the Swiss army knife again and he extracted it from the bag, turning it over in his hand. Some of the junk on here must be of some use he pondered. If the worst came to the worst, he could always get Bobby to sit on Zero while he used the largest blade to pry the tiara lose from Zero's scalp. Lester had snagged the first aid kit from the cargo hold, so Bobby could always do a patch up job if needs be.

Bobby ambled back over and took one look at Lester's serious face. "Uh oh, I sense trouble, man. What you planning?"

Lester flipped the largest knife open and inspected the blade. "We need to remove that tracer ASAP. I want it attached to the next moving object we come across."

Bobby nodded and glanced over at Zero surreptitiously. "Plan?"

"You sit on him while I lever it off. We've got medical supplies," Lester whispered.

Bobby rolled his eyes and planted his hands on his hips. "Right, so you're telling me that you want to rip the super glue off his noggin, just so I can stick his scalp back together with more super glue?"

Les rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand. "Okay, what do you suggest then?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing! Are you crazy?" Lester hissed.

"Think about it, man. What do we always do? We ditch the tracker within the first few hours of landing. Ric must have figured that out by now, so if we hang onto it, he's got to assume that we're somewhere else. Let's concentrate on finding civilization before it gets dark and cold, okay?" Bobby soothed as he squeezed Lester's shoulder in support. "Besides, give it a couple of days and it should just work its way loose as the skin on his scalp regenerates."

"Okay, I see your point, Bobby. We do need to find shelter soon."

"We will, we just need to keep walking," Bobby stated as he ran his hands through his afro. "Damn this humidity, it's playing hell with my hair."

"It's real good to see that you're keeping things in perspective, man," Les gritted out as he watched Zero walk back over.

"Uh guys, why are you looking at me funny?" Zero crossed his arms over his chest, but the effect was ruined by the pink sarong and flip flops.

Bobby shook his head, but Lester just smiled and shrugged, causing Zero to shuffle uncomfortably.

Bobby rolled his eyes at Les' joking, and patted the third world country escapee virgin on the back. "Look on the bright side Zero, this beats the night shift watching the monitors. You know how dull that can get."

"It was a god damn slow night shift that got us in this mess in the first place. I still can't believe that you two talked me into putting makeup on Tank."

"It needed a pro, Zero. We know that you're a closet Goth, and all Goths wear eyeliner – even the guys. Needed your expert hand on that difficult job," Les retorted.

"Okay, busted. So I know how to put on eyeliner. But you don't think I went too heavy on the blush do you?"

"The blush was fine, man."

"And the eye shadow, the color suited him, right?" Zero queried.

Bobby pondered the question. "I think it did. Brought out his eyes – went well with the lip stick too."

"Gentlemen, the task in hand," Les chided as they slogged to the top of a sand dune. "Fuck, do you two see that?"

"What?"

"There, on the horizon," Lester pointed.

"Shit," Bobby responded as he reached for his Glock.

So, what have they seen? Will they ever get home? And was Tank really wearing too much blush?