A/N:
Edited with Microsoft word and found a new Beta reader, CrazyNinjaPenguin. Please thank them for helping and Darkens is greatly appreciated still!
Sakura was lying on her bed, still troubled by the thoughts that had woken her up an hour before her alarm clock went off. She was thinking about why the sudden change in her feelings had happened. It was like a freak accident, she figured; it wasn't supposed to have happened. She let out a frustrated sigh at how these thoughts poisoned her mind. She couldn't even think about Ino without a single reoccurring scenario taking over her thoughts.
They would be at the mall and it would be maybe months into the relationship. At first Sakura would be thrilled, but she would inevitably start to get bored of Ino. They would be walking into a store when Sakura spots another attractive woman, and Ino would catch her stares. Ino would drag her out of the store and demand that Sakura stop checking out other women. They would fight constantly. Ino would always forgive Sakura, but the blond would remain pained on the inside.
That same damn scenario had been playing ever since the previous night and it scared Sakura. She knew she was that shallow and uncaring. She would get bored of Ino after a few months and then ditch her for a new toy.
"Just like Rin right?"
Inner Sakura popped up again; Sakura groaned and rolled over into her pillow. "Shut up."
"Just like every other girl in your scrapbook."
Sakura's breathing froze; her inner-self was right. Every person in her scrapbook was an old ex, and they had all been either cheated on or broken up with to satisfy Sakura's motives. "I don't mean to though..." Sakura mumbled pitifully into her pillow while clenching the blanket in stress.
"Sure you don't...You don't mean to spot out the hotties in every store you and your toy go into... You didn't mean to push that girl into the corner of your old school and make out with her while dating Rin. No, it's not your fault. My bad."
At every word Sakura flinched hard; it was all true, every damn word of it.
Sakura was one of those people who was going to grow old to live without anyone. She would hurt everyone who loved her and would inevitably drive them all off. Sakura would only be used in her clan. She would be married off to some softball snob and have lots of kids to carry on the good genes. It would be just like how the clan wanted.
"You're pathetic!"
"Shut up," Sakura said with venom; she was getting sick of how she was talking to herself. She didn't want to see the truth; she couldn't bare it.
"Go ahead and tell yourself that everything is okay when you cheat. It's okay to push away people and fake that you don't care."
"Shut up," Sakura's voice grew louder as she pulled her head from her pillow, glaring dangerously into the dark room.
"Run away, that's all you can do Sakura Haruno."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Sakura screamed, and it was dead silent. The voice inside her seemed satisfied and finally quieted down. Sakura's breathing tore apart the silence around her. She didn't even realize that she was already on her feet and had her pillow ready to chuck at someone. She dropped the pillow and started to shake. Through all this she was going to go insane.
"Get it together...Deep breath," Sakura told herself with soft words. She was running again; she wanted to forget her lies and sins. The pink haired girl wrapped her arms around herself before falling to the floor; before she could stop herself, tears came pouring down. She didn't even know why she was crying; it was pathetic. Her sobs became harsher and louder; she was still holding herself and felt like she could puke at any given minute.
Sakura shakily got up and started walking toward her personal bathroom. Once inside she locked the door and flicked the lights on. The lights made her eye's burn and her head throb as she felt a sudden headache building. After a minute of adjusting, she caught her amusing, pathetic reflection.
Her hair was messed up her skin looked sickly pale, and her green eyes, puffy and red, appeared hollow; she looked horrible. How could she not see the person inside of her, this demon inside?
--
Sakura walked into the classroom, her sunglasses glinting off the light. She didn't want anyone to see her eyes; she was afraid they would see through her. She slowly walked to her desk; the Uchiha raised an eyebrow at her and Uzumaki was about to pipe up before Tenten scolded him. Sakura hadn't worn her glasses since the first part of the year and already people could tell that something was up. The classroom was alive with whispers until the teacher made his usual late entrance; even he raised a curious eyebrow at Sakura's glasses. They had all already seen through her barrier.
Once class had ended, Sakura walked in the opposite direction of her next class. Tenten, noticing this, ran up to the pinkette with concern glinting in her brown eyes. "What's wrong Sakura?"
Sakura barely stopped in her tracks, her face holding a grim expression. "I am not feeling well," she lied.
"Uh huh," Tenten said in clear disbelief, placing her hands on her hips. Sakura sighed in defeat. Who was she trying fool?
"Girl problems," she said with resentment while Tenten smiled weakly.
"I know, Ino told me about last night."
Sakura froze. So Tenten knew about her weird actions already? Before Sakura could articulate a response Tenten continued.
"Ino told me, she sounded really hurt about it," the brunette said casually; Sakura looked at her, confused eyes behind her glasses. Tenten didn't sound like she really cared that Ino was sad. The pinkette inwardly grimaced at the thought of Ino being sad as a result of her sudden actions. Already Sakura was hurting her.
"But don't worry, Ino is overemotional and can get carried away," Tenten asserted with a wink; Sakura didn't really like this side of Tenten. The cheerleader had never mentioned this part of the girl before; she would always have just said that Tenten was a great friend. Sakura started walking away; she didn't want to hear the brunette start talking crap. It would make the green eyed girl's situation worse than it already was. "But hey, I'm always open," Tenten stated with an innocent smile.
The class bell rang but she couldn't care less; she didn't want to go to class. She needed more time to think about her current situation, and she needed to cool off her temper. She stomped outside and sat down on the vacant swing set, her breath drifting into the biting cold air.
"Useless," Sakura repeated to herself for the hundredth time that morning. She started to space as she deliberated on her problems until she heard footsteps crunching through the snow; she jerked her head up to see a rare sight.
The Uchiha was walking with snow encrusted on his winter jacket and pants while a blushing Hinata walked with snow all over her clothing. Sakura raised an eyebrow in their direction; Sasuke stopped, mirroring her expression as he did, while Hinata looked surprised.
"Haruno, why are you out here?" he questioned in his monotone voice. Hinata and the black haired man were standing closer than friends should.
"I could ask the same," the pinkette uttered with no emotion. They didn't need to know her problems, the Uchiha for sure, but more importantly Hinata. Sakura had already forced more than enough problems onto Hinata.
Sasuke let out a bitter 'tch' sound before Hinata spoke up, her fragile voice barely audible, "I'm sorry."
Sakura already knew what Hinata was talking about; she smiled weakly. She was the problem, so she had to apologize, "No Hinata, I am sorry. I should learn better than to play with people like that."
Hinata approached Sakura with a small, gentle smile before sitting on the swing beside her. "Apology accepted."
Sasuke slowly trudged over to the swing set and leaned against the frame beside the heiress. He looked somewhat annoyed; Sakura wouldn't blame him. He didn't know of the problem between them and had been interrupted by her. She smiled lightly once more. At least she had cleared up one sin that tainted her mind.
"So...How long have you guys been together?" a voice echoed through the vacant playground, and soon the black haired boy blushed deep red while the gentle girl giggled and pushed off the swing set. Sakura had to giggle as well.
--
The softball field was swept clean of snow while the team mumbled as they went out to warm up. Sakura arrived at the pitcher's mound as Temari got down and ready for her throws. The pink haired girl grunted lightly when she let go of the pitch; Temari skillfully caught it, an amused look on her face.
The pitcher brushed off the blonde's expression and continued to pitch. Practice was blurry and her coach's voice was far away; most of the time she was thinking about Ino. It scared her how much she thought of the cheerleader.
"What is wrong with you today Haruno?" Temari mocked in the girls locker room while Sakura changed, not bothered by the blonde's presence.
"Problems," Sakura vaguely replied showing no interest in conversation. Temari frowned at the lack of detail. Most of the girls had already exited the locker room.
The blond continued to prod at the pitcher, "Like?"
"Girl problems," Sakura sighed with annoyance. Why couldn't anyone just leave her alone? She didn't even know herself enough to know why it had become a problem in the first place. Sakura didn't know if it was the wrong timing or if she was just exaggerating the feeling, but for certain it was bugging her.
"Well, you can vent on me Sakura," Temari conveyed in a soft tone that the softball player didn't recognize as her former teammate's voice.
"Excuse me?" Sakura said, half startled.
Temari rolled her eyes at the apparently deaf player. "You. Can. Vent. To. Me," she repeated as slowly as possible while crossing her arms; Sakura felt rather dumb.
"Sure," Sakura said, waving it off lazily, but Temari wasn't joking about the offer and grabbed Sakura's shoulders and spun her around.
Now face to face Temari spoke once more, "Sakura I am not joking, sure I might have a bad reputation with some people but I don't have a big mouth like most of you're friends," she asserted bluntly.
Sakura wasn't sure if she was supposed to get mad or not in response to what Temari said; she had said something unkind about her friends, but then again it was true. "Well, not Hinata," Sakura muttered, looking away from Temari's face. The blond let her go with a smile before sitting down on the bench.
"Care to vent, now?"
The pink haired girl sat down with a bored expression. "You aren't going to let me go unless I talk, right?"
Temari nodded with satisfaction; Sakura rolled her eyes and started to rub her temples in thought. She didn't know where to start and didn't know how to word everything. Sakura eventually found a decent foundation to start and about a half an hour later she ended her divulgences with a bitter expression. Temari surprisingly was quiet and looked to be focused contemplating on the other's worrisome situation.
The locker room was quiet for a long time before Temari sighed and got up, collecting her gym bag. "Well, it seems you are in a sticky situation. All you have to do is stay in the deep water and hope it gets better," she advised in a matter-of-fact tone.
She started walking towards the exit until Sakura spoke up, "But what if it doesn't work? I don't want to run from it..." The last few words were muttered under her breath.
Temari stopped with the door open and stood there for a few seconds before speaking again without turning around, "If it doesn't turn out right, all you can do is drown."
Temari walked through the door and her footsteps echoed until the door shut. The pink haired girl rested her head in her hands. She couldn't run from this situation; she would hurt Ino badly. Ino would rather have the truth than dwell on unknown possibilities. If it didn't turn out good in the end, she would just have to deal with it. Sakura looked at her reflection in the mirror on the opposite side of the room. She took off her glasses and dropped them; slowly the glasses descended to the ground. The room echoed the sound of the glasses breaking but the girl seemed unfazed.
She stared perfectly into her reflection; she wasn't going to hide behind anything anymore.
A/N:
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