AN-I had it pointed out to me in a review that Edward's human last name was Masen. I will admit...I forgot about that. I guess I might as well let it be known that I'm a very new Twilight fan. I was just "bitten" this June, and haven't even owned the books for more than two months...so some small details do escape me. I did spend about an hour reading through the books, skimming for any details I may have missed. If I do miss something or mess something up, please forgive me, and don't fell bad about pointing it out to me in a review. PS-I found Edward's mother's name...but his father's name escaped me...I didn't exactly know where to look for that...so if anyone knows...just say so in a review...and include any other major details about his human life I may need/have missed. Thanks for understanding!

Spoilers: There may be small spoilers from all of the books.

Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight...that honor belongs to Stephine Myer.

Chapter 2

"But Carslie." I said looking up at him, as my fingers traced the name engraved into the soft, faded brown leather cover. "I thought that Edward's last name was Masen before you changed him."

Carslie nodded at me, scratching his fine blond hair as he did so. "You're right...it was."

"Then why does it say Edward Cullen on the covers?"

"About 80 years ago, I was throwing out some of my old medical journals...I almost accidentally throw those out with them." He said, gesturing towards the bundle in my hands. "At the time there wasn't any name imprinted on the cover. So I took them to get his name put on them...I guess I never thought about using his human name, because I had grown so used to him being a Cullen."

I nodded, still in shock, knowing that Edward did have something to tell him about his life that he struggled so hard to remember...and barely could.

I sat there in silence for some time, and Carslie stood with me...before he finally broke the silence that had seemed to have enveloped the entire room.

"He doesn't know I have them." He said calmly. "I've never even opened them before, to tell you the truth. So I don't even know what's inside, if anything."

I nodded, then looked up at him. "Carslie...you said that this is all you managed to get...but how come I have his mother's ring?" Suddenly I remembered that there were a few other pieces connecting Edward to his past. "And the crystal heart on my bracelet...and he said Alice, and Esme...have some things."

Carslie sighed. "His mother gave the ring to me before she died. She wanted me to keep it. I decided to give it back to Edward once I changed him. Your heart charm, and the things he gave to Alice and Esme, actually fell out of those Journals you're holding. I decided to give them to him."

I nodded, still in shock. I never thought when I woke up this morning that I would suddenly be diving into my finance's past life.

Carslie coughed, as if he was nervous. I'm sure this situation was somewhat awkward for him, as it was for me.

"If you need to go to the hospital Carslie...I'll be fine right here." I said, never taking my eyes off of the journals he had handed me only minutes before.

He simply nodded, and left the room quickly, and it felt as though he had never even been standing there.

The urge to open the first journal...laying on top of the other...was so strong. But for some reason, I felt that I needed to show Edward first, to share what I found with him. But at the same time...I almost didn't want him to know. I almost wanted to keep my discovery to myself.

I wrapped the two journals back in the plain white cloth that Carslie had kept them in, and set them beside me on the red velevet couch. I found myself starring out the window...looking out into the woods...watching each drop of rain as it fell onto the grass below.

I suddenly rose off of the couch, gently tucking the bundle under my right arm, and walking up the grand staircase that led to Edward's room. I had to stop twice to rest on the stairs and regain my strength. Not out of exhaustion, but out of shock, and overwhelming feelings from all directions.

I finally managed to reach the doorway leading to the same room I left less than half an hour earlier. Edward was still laying on the bed, exactly where I left him, his eyes closed tight...his breathing slow. To anyone else, they would have assumed he was sleeping, but I, of course, knew better.

"Bella." He almost whispered, his eyes still closed, but a smile spreading across his face.

I choked down the emotions that were flooding through my mind, and managed to speak. "Yeah...it's me."

Edward rolled over onto his side and opened his eyes...looking at me. As soon as he saw the expression on my face...he frowned.

"Bella...why are you crying?"

Drats...I had never recognized I was crying...and now here I stood in front of him...with tears in my eyes. He probably thought something was horribly wrong.

"Truthfully." I answered, sitting down beside him on the bed, "I had no idea I was."

Edward sat up and stared into my eyes, trying to search my face for what he could never see in my mind. He apparently saw nothing that caught his attention, because his bright topaz eyes shifted to the bundle that sat in my lap.

"What's this?" He asked...taking it from me.

It was times like these, I was almost glad that Edward couldn't tell what was going on in my mind. Right now so many different vocies were shouting so many different things, and this was just in my head alone. I couldn't imagine what it must be like for Edward, having to hear his own thoughs...and the ones of everyone else.

I tried to think of the right words to describe what it was that Edward was holding, but nothing would come.

"Something Carslie gave me."

"What is it?" He asked...once more...obviously not very pleased with the answer I had given him.

"Your past." I managed to say...my voice was barely even a whisper...but Edward still heard me.

"What do you mean?"

"Move the cloth." I told him, keeping my eyes on the floor, as if each individual carpet thread was now my greatest interest.

He did as I said, and I recognized his reaction right away. That was the same reaction I had seen on my own face when I realized that all the answers to my questions about where Edward came from, who he was, where he was heading, was sitting right there in my lap.

"What is this?" He said, for the third time...only this time, unlike the other two...his voice was softer...sadder...almost.

"Carslie told me they're yours...from your human life. He took them from your house shortly after he changed you. He got your name imprinted on them about 80 years ago...so he wouldn't throw them out."

"And he just...gave them to you...all of a sudden?" He asked, moving the top journal to look at the other...which looked the same as the first.

"No. I asked about them. Well not specifically them...but I asked if he had anything."

He nodded. "Have I written in them?"

"I don't know. I didn't look, and Carslie said he never has either."

He set the first journal back on top, starring at it, as he traced his name on the front cover, just like I had done only minutes before.

"Are you going to open it?" I asked.

He nodded, and moved the cover that hadn't been open in over a hundred years, to reveal a old, worn piece of blank paper.

He looked over at me...before he turned the page again.

I almost gasped.

This time...instead of a plain blank page, there was a lined page, with an elegant script that I could pick out anywhere.

December 25...Age 14

It was Edward's handwriting on the page in front of me.

Edward seemed just as shocked as I was, as he flipped through all of the pages to reveal that the pages were almost full. He turned to the very last page, and I noticed the entry date.

February 14...Age 17

"Your last entry." I choked out. "Before you..."

"Became a monster." He finished.

I bit my lip, not even bothering to argue with him as he turned back to the first entry.

"Do you want me to read it aloud?"

"If you want to." I said.

He nodded as he read his own words, in his dazzling voice.

December 25..Age 14

This has been a hard year...but our family has many blessings. Today, is Christmas day. I didn't get much...I'm getting to old for childish items like toys...but my mother did get me two matching brown leather journals, and a pen...so I could write about my life, to be able to reflect on it someday when I'm grown up, and have a wife, and children of my own. She tells me that even though I'm only fourteen...that I act as mature as someone twice my age. I've decided that I'm going to keep pictures in my other journal...and I will write descriptions about them on the pages that the are tucked into.

We had a large supper, just my mother, father, and I. My mother roasted a ham all day in the oven...a treat we rarely get. We had mashed potatoes, corn, and freshly baked bread. For desert, we had an apple pie...my all-time favorite.

I think this was the best Christmas ever...I will never forget it as long as I live.

I actually found myself holding back tears as Edward read the last line of the entry. There he was...a sweet, innocent, young child, thinking he had an entire normal life ahead of him...simply being overjoyed that his family was alive and happy...and never wanting to forget that. And the sad thing was...he did. He forgot it all when he was changed...when he became a vampire...or a monster...as he said.

"Do you remember that?" I asked him...already knowing the answer.

"No...none of it at all." He told me, starring at the page as if in a state of disbelief.

"Here." I said, taking the journal from his hands and setting it in my own lap. He didn't argue, as I turned to the next page very carefully...afraid that one wrong move would cause the fragile pages to crumble in my hands.

I looked over at Edward, who was looking down at the page I had turned to.

I shifted my eyes back to the page...and read aloud.

January 1st...Age 14

A new year...

It's snowed a lot here the past two weeks. We got 3 inches alone just last night. The wind blew a branch off of the old oak tree in the front yard right onto the roof of the house. The noise had woken me up, and what a shock it was to see a large hole in the ceiling of my room. My mother has seemed almost depressed all day, she's confused as to what we should do. I helped my father carry my bed down into the kitchen today. Mother would not allow me to sleep upstairs in my room in case I would catch a cold. I'll sleep in the kitchen until we get the roof fixed.

My mother told me I might as well go write in my journals...while she cooked supper. I had offered to help her, but she told me not to worry.

I think that's simply because she was baking some rolls...and the last time I tryed to help her bake, the dough had ended up on the floor...and in the dog's stomach.

I guess I don't blame my mother.

I looked over at Edward.

"Not a thing." He said.

"You...umm...were apparently quite close to your mother...you mention her a lot."

"Yeah...Carslie said that we seemed to be quite close."

"Do you want me to continue?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Not right now. I know we only read two pages...but...it's a lot to take in...a lot to think about."

I nodded. "I understand."

I closed the journal and handed it to him, and he wrapped it back up with it's companion in the white cloth, and set it gently on his bedside table.

"You said the other one has pictures."

"I know." He said. "We'll look at that one when we get done with the first one though...ok Bella?"

"Sure...that's fine." I said...when I decided to ask him the question that had been bothering me since I saw the look on his face when I told him what he was holding in his hands.

"Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"Does this...upset you?"

He shook his head...and actually laughed. "No Bella...of course not. I'm...overjoyed really."

"You don't necessarily act like it."

"Well...I'm glad I finally have something to tell me who I am..." He paused, "Who I was." He corrected. "But..."

"What?"

He shook his head, all traces of his smile fading. "It just tortures me to know that it won't ever mean anything more to me than simply that."

"Simply what?" I asked.

"That's all it is to me now...all it is to me is my past...who I was...it...should have been so much more than that Bella. It should mean so much more. I should be able to remember."

"But you don't." I said.

"No." He sighed. "I don't."

I'd like to thank everyone for all of the reviews sent in for the first chapter. I was so shocked, and so excited to have so many people looking forward to what I had to write next, that I decided to give you the second chapter today. Please feel free to include any comments, concerns, contructive critisism, or ideas in your reviews.

Thanks again so much for reading.

Hazl