Chapter 8

Thanks for reviewing! I love it when people review. Yay! As for the story, it seems people are reading it more. Yay! I reached over 200 hits! Okay listen. This is a depressing chapter. I needed to write it though. Yes. I know. This should be one of the last depressing chapters left in the story. I hope. I don't think that this was my best chapter. So forgive me readers. bows

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

We were walking out of the entrance of the temple of Fire. I was visited by my dead daughter to tell me that she loved me and was proud of me. Now that I think about it, it does not matter if I mention it. That does sound nuts. Well it is true.

Colette seemed to be off. She was wobbling a bit and it immediately worried me. I am a mother. I know these things.

I sighed. I fingered the necklace and pulled it out. It was two pendants on a silver chain. The first was a five-pointed star with three slashes through it. On top of that, pendant was a cat sitting down, with a diamond on its chest. I smiled slightly and clasped it around my neck. Unlike I hoped, that gave people enough movement to stare at me.

I sighed and kept walking. I kept on holding in my feelings. I wanted to break down. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and pound my fists into a wall. I wanted to see the blood seep out from my soul. Faianeko-sama's body broke one of my ribs but I kept walking. Breathing as nothing has happened.

Hoping as hell to make this out alive. Hoping that my brother will not get hurt because of me. I never would want that to happen but it did. Many times. What is the point in living if everything around you dies?

My husband, my daughter, my sons, my clan, my friends, my hopes, my dreams, my life. All are gone. My life was my family and clan. Now they are gone. I stared at my brother. I flinched at the sight the bruise on his cheek. I saw hallucinations of his dead body. I shut my eyes tightly and hugged my arms slightly.

'Kit calm down. It is not okay. However, you will live on. Live for your children, your clan, your heart, and live for yourself. Kit as much as you wish to die, it will not make things better. Those scars on your wrists prove you are supposed to be alive. You cut yourself so many times, I was sent to watch you. Make sure that you lived. You are special, live for the ones you must. Live life for everyone!' The Nekomata yelled in my head.

I flinched. I let it sink in and I sighed silently again.

'Thank you Nibi. Thank you very much.'

I could feel the Nekomata smiling.

"Neko?"

"Yes?"

"What did uh…?"

"Faianeko-sama." I chuckled. Lloyd was still stuck on vocabulary.

"Yeah. Her. What did she mean when she said 'for one who was badly betrayed'?"

My eyes widened and looked away. Everyone stared at me for an answer.

"Exactly as she said. Soon you will figure it out. But I hope I can keep a secret."

"Why?"

"Because everyone who has found out is dead. They killed themselves or were murdered; at least that is what they do. They kill the people who find out." I spoke. My blue eye hardened slightly.

Flashes went through my head. All the people who are dead.

Genis and Colette eyes widened, as Kratos and Raine eyes narrowed. Lloyd looked to me and sighed. Kasai stared up at me and nudged my leg. I smiled down to her.

"I don't think you figure it out though. No one has." I smiled slightly and ran past them and out of the temple.

"I hope that will change their minds." I muttered. My cloak disappeared in a puff of flames and I was out into the BRIGHT SUNNY WORLD.

Shit.

I was temporarily blinded by that thing in the sky. Yeah. I think it is called the sun. What ever.

I walked out a little further. I do admit that it is nice feeling wind on my skin for the first time in a while. It is nice. The dry desert heat? Not so much.

The ruins were practically in shadow because of the tall mountains behind it. I climbed up one of the ruins. My ribs were healing quickly. I stared at the sky above.

Nothing seemed the same now. I heard a thump. I whipped around. Colette fainted.

"The extra mana!" I whispered.

I jumped down and stopped.

Raine was checking her over. Raine glared at me slightly. My eyes traveled to the ground. I knew they would not trust me around Colette again. I sighed.

I walked away and sat in the shadows staring up at the clouds.

Everyone crowded around Colette to make sure she was okay. I slinked further back in the shadows. I hugged my knees and sat in almost complete darkness.

"Is this why you said you were a disgrace?"

I looked up to Kratos.

"Yes. Yes this is the reason."

"Your birth is nothing to be ashamed of. You were put on this world for a reason."

"Kratos. Nothing that I went through for the past few years ever gave me a reason to be alive. Now that I have my family, not just Lloyd and my father, to take care of. That is my only goal in life. You wish to get back to you wife and children?"

He went pale.

"You talk to me as if you have had a child before. You take care of people as a father would. You do not dare to look at other women so you are married. Are they okay with your mercenary job? Are they okay with you going and leaving for certain periods? Alternatively, are they dead? There are so many possibilities. I learned many things from when I was kidnapped."

My eyes trailed over to his right hand.

"You are also wearing a wedding ring. Therefore, your wife was a good woman. I bet she is happy where ever you are." I smiled softly.

"Very good. No one yet has figured it out." He commented quietly.

I looked up to him. "Thank you, Yosomono." I felt happy. Why?

"My Clan…"

He looked at me.

"My Clan who took care of me. They taught me so much. I can analyze people in a few minutes, I can fight like a dragon, I know most things that most people know, I seen more horrible things than anyone can imagine, and I am still alive. Kratos, promise me that if I die. Take care of them. Not forever just until the Chosen Journey is over."

He looked at me. "You won't die."

"That what you think."

"You won't."

Why was he saying I wouldn't die? I will!

"Yosomono…"

"Neko. You will not die. Understand?" He snapped. He was angry with me.

My eyes widened in fear. I instinctively whimpered slightly and pushed myself farther back.

"Don't hit me."

His eyes widened and he stepped back. I was trembling.

My hands flew up to my head.

"Stop it." I whispered.

The scars on my back burned fiercely as I shook my head back and forth. Kratos is not going to hurt me! Stop this! Nibi, Gobi, Faianeko-sama, anyone!

'Hush my little warrior.'

My eyes snapped open. I stopped trembling and slowly put my hands down. I looked around slowly. I focused on Kratos. He looked worried.

"Sorry. Instincts." I whispered.

He nodded.

I summoned my bag and grabbed a notebook. A grabbed a few pencils and started to draw. It always calmed me down.

"Thank you Yosomono."

He looked over to the camp.

I sketched the first thing that came to my mind.

Colette.

I started to draw the fainted girl. Blond hair wrapped around an expressionless face. White clothes draped her form. I sighed and winced as thought about the past. What could have stopped of it? It was my fault! I shook my head as if it would get rid of the thought. I pulled out the necklace that Rainwhisker gave me and sobbed quietly. Blood dripped down on my arms and the end of my shirt.

Why? I drowned myself in memories. Rainwhisker's first steps, Nightwing's became a mage, Greystripe's warrior apprentice ceremony…what happened?

My eyes shot open and narrowed hatefully. It was that man's fault! I dried my tears away quickly as I heard someone coming.

"Neko?" It was Genis.

"Yes?" I asked. I winced as my voice crack slightly.

His head popped up over the rock. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am fine."

"You don't sound like it."

"Genis…I'm fine. There is nothing wrong with me besides that you all wanna kill me."

He blinked. "I don't want to kill you. Neither does Lloyd or Colette."

"Genis…I am a demon the supposed mortal enemy of Colette the Chosen. Tell me honestly, do you think that I will kill her or harm her?"

"No. You and Colette have been best friends since we were little. You wouldn't hurt her."

I smiled. "Thanks Genis. Though I don't think your sister feels that way."

"She is just confused. She doesn't like things she can't explain."

"Thanks Genis."

He smiled and walked off.

"You are so naïve, Genis. Something like this is a dent on what shaky relationship with your sister in the first place." I whispered. "Nothing will ever be the same eh, my kits."

I stared up to the darkening skies. I should try to heal Colette and help her with her mana, when she is awake. I wonder is Light mana or Angel mana harder to harness than Nightwing's powers? He beat me in no time. Greystripe was a long distance fighter and Rainwhisker was like me, an up-close fighter.

I smiled softly remembering it. I put the sketchbook away and crawled out of my hiding place. I looked over the rocks to see everyone eating and laughing. I smiled and sat back down. I should run away from here. They should not have the burden of having me here.

I tried to stop the tears as they ran down my face but I could not. I crawled back into my safe area and sobbed as quietly as I could. Everything was better off without me!

I wanted to talk to someone.

'Kit I will talk to you. So will Gobi. We wish to know what you are talking about.'

'Nibi, why does everyone hate me here?'

'Not everyone hates you, Neko. I do not know what they feel but I know that you brother and the others do not hate you. There are just some things that they like to do, it is not your fault!' Nibi said forcefully.

'Nibi, they are all smiling and laughing. Like…a…family…'

More tears fell down my cheeks and hit the sand.

'Neko, please understand! That was not your fault! There was nothing you could have done, nothing!'

"Neko?" I heard someone ask.

I dried my eyes and cleared my throat hastily.

"Yes Colette?"

A white clothed figure looked inside where I was sitting.

"Why aren't you sitting at the fire with us? I'm sure you're hungry!" She smiled.

"No thank you Colette. I'll stay over here."

She frowned. "Why?"

"I just want to." I told her quietly.

"Neko, have you been crying?" She asked.

I stared at her. "Yes." I whispered.

She immediately hugged me.

"Please don't cry, Neko."

I sniffled slightly.

"I'll be leaving whether you like or not. You know that. Why didn't you let me leave? I would have been happy! I could have left without a word and help you guys along when you know I would be better off!"

"No you would not! Please stop saying that Neko. Please. I want you here. Lloyd and Genis want you here. Kratos wants you here! Raine wants you here!"

"No she doesn't." I snapped. "She thinks I'm some bloodthirsty creature! She thinks I will hurt you! She thinks that I am an animal!" I raised my voice.

"No! Professor doesn't think that way!"

"Yes she does! Everyone does! Everyone just wants me to die!" I snarled. "Guess what? I can't I cursed to stay alive! I cannot die until the Chosen of Hell journey is completed. I cannot die until I avenge my Clan! The same for you Colette! You cannot die until you reach the end of your journey! You cannot die until you are used like a tool! You can't die and you will not until you reach the end of this journey! They say you are going to be reborn as an angel! What about that? That means the Colette we know is going to die!"

She looked down. "Neko…"

"Colette what I say is true and you know it. Everyone wants us to die to save their pathetic hides." I snarled. "The Chosen of Hell journey is the same as yours as the Chosen of Sylvarant. I want to avenge my clan before I die. That is my honest and purpose in this world. My family is dead. The only humans that are left in my life is my brother and if I ever find him, my father. Tell me, should I try to live being hated for something I am not or loved for something I am supposed to become."

She looked up at me.

"A wise woman told me once. 'My child, nothing is wrong with you. You are a warrior! You should live as yourself. Not as someone, you are supposed to become and not being hated for being something, you are not. You are not a kit anymore, Soulclaw you are a warrior!' Nekomata-sama is the closest thing I had to a mother. She was the only person who truly believed I could make it back to my brother. She was the only one who saw me as a normal child. Colette, please understand. You are my best friend. I do not wish for me to leave, but Raine thinks I am some monster that needs to burn. I cannot stay with a person who thinks that way."

"What happened when you left, Neko?" She asked.

"I died, I was born again, and then I died again. I learned and gained so much but I lost it all." I sighed. "Colette please understand, I do want to be with you guys but I cannot. I belong with myself and only myself. Kasai is the closest thing I have to my kind right now. I have to stay by her side. She was with me since I escaped. She was the guide Nekomata-sama gave to me. I shall do whatever she says."

"You could still come with us!"

"You don't get it. I am a murderer. I am alone. I deserve it. For dragon's sake, Raine thought I was going to devour your soul! No one wants me here besides you. If you did not I bet I would be dead a long time ago. I act the way I do because it is the most effective way for people to leave me alone. Wish me gone! Wish me dead!" I shrieked.

She stared up at me with sympathy and pity.

"Is that what you think?" I averted my eyes to my back right. Kratos and Raine were standing there and on the other side were Lloyd and Genis.

I pinched my nose. "I only think the truth. This has nothing concerning you. Lloyd is the only one that it remotely concerns to. Back off." I hissed.

Emotions were bubbling over and soon I would probably start going on hysterical rampage. I mentally winced. I did that when I was pregnant with my kits. The village was almost torn to pieces. I was then bawling about it in the middle of the village while everyone was in the trees sighing.

Never was good at controlling emotions. That kinda proved it.

"Neko you are my sister. I could never think about leaving you behind."

"Think about it bro." I muttered.

"Neko, control yourself. I remember what Nekomata-sama said." Kasai called from the top of the rock next to me.

"It was a total accident so, shut it. Please."

She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Neko says what she thinks. It is nearly impossible to change a cat's mind. Give up and it will save you heartbreak in the end."

"Are you talking to me?" I asked curiously.

"No."

I rolled her eyes at her blunt answer.

"It's the chosen's wish." I mocked. "Don't pretend that I don't hear you plotting against me." I muttered twitching.

"What happened, Neko?" Genis asked.

I took one look at him and smiled. I then burst out laughing.

"Nothing did happen. I just up and ran away! I just ran openly to death and let it drag me down." I laughed again. "I'm just some idiot girl that went missing and nothing happened. Nothing at all. How stupid are you?"

I glared at them.

"Don't waste your pity."

I jumped up on the top of ruins. "Kasai? Are you up to running off?"

She sighed. "Let them talk Neko. If you still wish to run off you can."

"Run? I was going to fly."

She looked at me and sighed. That was a horrible idea but the people keeping me here did not know that.

I looked down. Lloyd looked lost; Colette looked like she was going to cry, Genis was looking back and forth between everyone nervously, Raine looked angry and sad, and Kratos looked almost sympathetic. I blinked and shook my head slightly.

I was totally imagining that.

I looked at him again. He still looked worried.

'I guess he is reminded of his child.'

"Tell me why I should stay. If you give me a good reason, I will stay."

"You are wanted here!" Colette practically shrieked. "All of us want you here! We knew you were kidnapped. We looked for months. We tried. I am sorry that we didn't find you! Please stay!"

"She's right. We do care. We know you think we all hate you. We don't, and I think that you know that. I don't care if you are a demon. You are my sister and that is all that matters." Lloyd joined in.

"We know that you would never hurt Colette! We know that you are human just like the rest of us." Genis yelled.

"They are right." Kratos agreed. I stared at him.

"I know you think I hate you. I don't. I just think that you are as troublesome as your brother is. I do trust you around Colette. I now see why you hid from everyone in Iselia. I know that it is hard being something everybody hates." Raine averted her eyes from mine.

I sighed. "You have a good point." I looked to the hopeful expression on Colette's face. "I know this may sound harsh." I rolled my eyes. "Most of the things I say are." I looked back down. "How do I know that you aren't lying?" I raised my hand up to the piece of brown hair covering left eye. I braced myself and moved the piece. Colette gasped.

My eye was closed so they could see the full scar. On my left eye there was a scar shaped like a star. I cut it into my face as I accepted that I might never be found. I opened my eye to show silver. My right eye was blue while my left eye was silver. I figured it changed colors when I became a warrior. I usually lost vision in my eye if I used it for too long.

"My eyes can see you aren't lying. You all wish for me to come along."

"What happened?" Lloyd asked.

"I cut it myself. Right before I was found." I looked up to the sky. I smiled softly remembering how Dragoneye saved me and we started a new life in Moonclan.

I looked back down as the hair fell down in front of the scar again. "I think I will stay with you. As long as you can handle a maniac in the group."

I crouched down ready to jump off the ruin. "I think we can handle that." Raine smirked.

My mouth dropped open slightly as she walked back over to the fire.

"Thanks." I told them as I jumped off to the fire and tackled Kasai.

"Did you have to bring that up?" I shrieked. She laughed and ran away making sure I followed her. I kept trying to tackle her and only ending up catching sand.

"Your ass is mine Kasai!" I tackled her again before I was swung over the shoulder of none other than that purple clad bastard. I whined and pouted slightly.

"Let me down Yosomono!"

He chuckled and threw me to Lloyd who then swung me over his shoulder.

"You two are so dead once I escape from here! What do I look like a kitty suitcase? I mean come on!"

I struggled trying to get out of his grip. He just laughed.

"You are so mean to me!" I whined.

"See she does have mood swings." Kasai laughed.

"Oh when I get my claws on you Kasai! Lloyd let me go!"

And that took me forever to write. Sorry! bows this was a depressive chapter to write because I normally hate writing this type of drama. It is almost exactly like my Mom's soap operas.

I don't think I used any Japanese words that I haven't covered.

This was a weird chapter, eh, whatever.

It won't nearly take me as long to get out the next chapter. REVIEW!