I could tell Edward was nervous, but I was far more nervous than him. My body quivered in anticipation of what was to come. I had waited long enough for this, the one human experience that I refused to miss out on. He slipped his tongue into my mouth as he carried me back into the house, so much for his midnight swim he had planned. Every part of us was touching, the friction of our chests made me squeeze myself tighter to him.
Our lips never broke as he laid me on the bed. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and he took his place on top of me. His face looked completely calm and confident, but his eyes were full of fear, nervousness, and uncertainty. His eyes shut tightly suddenly, his expression changing into a pained, fear full grimace. Panic swelled in me, what was wrong with him? Was he more nervous than I thought? Did he not want to do this? I ran my fingers through his untidy hair in an attempt to comfort and sooth him. He moaned quietly, the sound startling me as his body twitched slightly.
I kissed him roughly, trying to bring him back to reality. He wouldn't back out on me now that we were so close, after I held up on my side of the bargain. He couldn't, I wouldn't let him. I felt guilt slowly make it's way into my mind. Was it far to force him into this? What if he wasn't ready? If the situation was reversed, I knew he would never make me do this, no matter what he wanted. He told me multiple times this was also what he wanted, if he didn't want this, than I'm sure he would have told me, and with that, the guilt quieted.
"Edward, we can do this, listen to me, I trust you, I love you." He opened his eyes slightly, his gold pools clouded with confusion, fear, and want, passion. The look excited and scared me all at once. I wanted to help him along, it wasn't his job to control everything. I pushed against his solid hip bone, knowing I couldn't move him, but hopping the pressure of my hand told him what I wanted. He fell over, his hands gripping my hips and dragging me along with him, positioning me over him.
Some of the nervousness faded from his eyes and was replaced with more need and he gazed at my chest with wide eyes and a small smile. His stare suddenly moved up, meeting my eyes, his smile fading into a hard line. His neck drew my attention as he swallowed. I never noticed that it was just as beautiful as the rest of his body, though it seemed softer and much more vulnerable than the rest of him. I took in his whole neck, but small faded red mark caught my attention. A bite mark, faded from many many years of sitting and the help of the fast healing vampire power. The pain he went through from that small single bite made my heart ache for him.
I kissed his lips softly, than his jaw, than the bite mark on his neck. His head fell to the left, giving me full access to his weakest point. I started gently before suddenly dragging my teeth roughly across his smooth skin. Where my confidence was coming from to be rough with him and take matters into my own hands, I will never know. His pants turned to quiet gasps as I locked my fingers roughly in his hair, forcing him closer to my ravishing mouth as he pushed against me.
The irony of my actions was not unnoticed. He was a vampire, biting necks was his job. I wanted him to bite me, to feel him drink from my neck. I knew him being able to do that would bring him more pleasure than my current actions, but since he refused to let me give him that, I would give him the next best thing, I would bite him.
He seemed to regain some control over himself as he dragged his hands slowly down my sides, pulling my hips closer to his straning need. His head turned back, his now black eyes returning to mine. All hints of fear were gone from his dark eyes, replaced by pure need, want, lust, and passion. His face softened slightly as we gazed into each others eyes. My heart melted at his tenderness, for a vampire, he was a softy.
"Are you ready? We don't have to go all the way if your not." That sounded more like the very noble and worried Edward I was used to, but I loved that side of him. His eyes narrowed slightly as they searched mine, looking deeply for any hint that this was not what I wanted, that I was not ready. I knew he wouldn't find anything he didn't like, so I nodded slightly, never breaking our eye contact.
I brought myself down slowly onto him, his eyes squeezing shut along with mine as pleasure erupted all over us. I had waited so long to feel him inside me, and it was worth the long wait. His cold body seemed so much warmer now, he even trembled. I was now even more sure that the vampire was still very much the boy inside. His cold pale skin, dead gold eyes, and calm mature attitude was all just on the outside. Weather he believed me or not, I knew that within the walls of his now silent heart and his pure soul was his true self, the tan, softer, happy, green eyed teenager that lived over 100 years ago. He seemed so very alive right now, just me and him.
Our bodies moved together, finding a rhythm that increased steadily, our kissing more desperate and harsh as we both neared the end. He moaned loudly, matching my own. His control was slipping and I loved it. My arms squeezed tighter, holding him closer, never wanting to let go of him.
I nuzzled his face until it turned back to the left and I bit down on his ear lob, his low hiss telling me he enjoyed it. A quiet shredding sound seemed out of place with all of our moaning, but I could hardly hear it enough to care.
I gave in first, moaning Edward's name without meaning to as I felt him spasm inside me. My waves of pleasure ended much faster than I expected and I opened my eyes to see my own personal gods face. His face was still tense with pleasure and his body still spasmed slightly, his pale lips pulled in as he tried to silence himself.
"Let go Edward, it's okay." I wanted him to let go of all his worries for once and just feel and be happy. He said that he wanted me to live a happy normal life, but I knew that he couldn't live his normal life with me, and for now we were equal, he could experience this fully as well, and I was not going to stop him.
He inhaled a lung full of air, his chest rising quickly as he filled it as he let himself go. It was the most beautiful sight, watching as his tense face relaxed as the pressure he was putting on his body was relieved. I held him tightly, both of us swimming from our high. Much to my surprise, his muscles trembled almost as bad as mine. I felt him slack against the bed bellow me with a quiet sigh and I collapsed next to him, cuddling him to my chest. His body temperature seemed much more normal now, but the cool felt nice against my flushed skin and I snuggled against his back, my arms around his waist. He made an attempt to turn and face me, but I didn't feel like moving, I was comfortable.
"Just lay still and feel." I was to tired to say more and I rubbed my hands up and down his sides, hoping that he would just lay still and relax. I knew that if he turned anyway, I would be to tired to argue, but much to my delight, he didn't.
"If I could sleep Bella, I would be in a coma right now." I giggled at him, kissing him gently.
"I'm trying not to slip into one myself, I want to stay awake with you." I didn't want to fall asleep and leave him awake on his own. I knew that sleeping was one thing Edward wanted to have the power to do. I could tell by the way he talked about watching me sleep, how curious he was about my dreams. He wanted to have his own dreams, he wanted to be able to sleep when I did and wake up next to me. I felt a slight pang of sympathy for him, being a vampire didn't sound so bad, but it had it's draw backs. His hand found mine and he interlocked our fingers, holding my hand to his chest and his thumb rotated my wedding ring that he had placed on my finger hours ago.
"You don't have to stay awake love, I'm not going anywhere." He shuddered slightly and I wasn't sure if he was uncomfortable in this position.
"Do you like this?" I tried to mask my sleepy voice by whispering, but it was a failed attempt. He chuckled and nodded gently.
"Yes Bella, I love it actually." I was happy I was doing something right for him. I couldn't fight it any longer and I felt myself drift closer to sleep. I felt his cool lips on the back of my hand before he moved it back to his solid chest.
I started to dream, and of course it was of him. How we met, our first kiss, our first night together. My dreams were always about him, and they would be like that for the rest of eternity.