Chapter ten 'Random skits of hell'
I wanted to give a little laugh to my readers after my two depressing chapters. I knew that those were needed for the story. I did use a few suggestions from a reviewer. (Moonshine's Guide, thank you.) I wanted to make sure that I didn't go straight into anything. Now this is purely crap from my messed up head. I know that no of this will never happen. Oh, to the people who are curious, I have added in why I named Kratos, Yosomono. I thought that you might like to know. I will get started. Lots of cussing. Lots.
A blue eye stared at the audience.
Brown hair covered the other making sure that the silver could never reach the world. So many people watching her, waiting for the statement. The most important statement that she could stress to the worlds.
She took a deep breath and stepped up to the microphone. Her cat ears twitched slightly.
"KRATOS IS AN ASSHOLE!"
People cried at her statement shouting that it's true. People hugged each other smiling with joy. They danced and smiled.
A brown eye twitched as he stared at the smiling girl. His curled his hands into fists.
"Sonna koto shitta koto ja nai." He hissed over an over again.
The girl smirked devilishly. "Kratty-kun I hope that no one gets pictures of a cute little bunny rabbit."
The girl burst out laughing.
The auburn haired man growled. "Fuck composure!" He slammed his fist across Neko's head.
She yelped.
"Raine! Kratos hit me! A-and it hurt!" She sniffled.
She blinked. "What the hell do you want me to do about it?"
Neko glared. "Oban." She hissed.
A large panther appeared out of nowhere. "HAPPY!" She shrieked.
A very girly scream erupted from one of the people. Three sets of eyes stared at the auburn haired man.
"What the fuck?"
Kratos now was wearing a very revealing purple (What other color would it be?) dress. He had a white purse and white high heels.
"Aw, what a cute kitty!"
Neko's jaw dropped.
Kratos called something 'cute' had pigtails, looked like a horrid impression of a human.
Kratos winked and it sent Neko into a screaming fit.
'In the real world'
Neko shrieked suddenly. Everyone turned to stare at her as she rolled in the sand trying to rip her eyes out. "Oh my stars get it out! Get it out! Carve my eyes out with a rusty fork! OH GET IT OUT!" She screamed.
Lloyd rushed over and tried to calm her down. Kratos sighed and grabbed her collar.
"What the hell is wrong now?"
She stopped screaming and stared at him with wide eyes. She shuddered. "You look horrible in a dress and pigtails." His expression was priceless. His mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide. It looked like a small chibi Kratos being told where babies come from.
So was his expression when Lloyd shrieked and started to laugh insanely. It looked a fuming squiggle.
Kratos--
Two eyes stared warily around. No one could hear him.
He took a deep breath.
He started to sing. "Lonely!"
--On the other side of the forest.
"Why do I feel like laughing like a maniac?" Neko asked Kasai.
"You normally do."
Red beady eyes stared up at the wide-eyed warrior. His auburn eyes looked around nervously.
"Hello Kratos Aurion."
He squeaked.
"Nice to meet you. You hate our kind. You killed my father. NOW DIE!"
….And Kratos was promptly covered in man-eating tomatoes.
Yggdrasill looked at Lloyd dangerously.
He pulled out a Spork.
"Say hello to my little friend!" He cackled.
"Are you hitting on my brother, girly boy?" Neko shrieked. "DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY! Kratos are you getting some on the side. Seriously?"
They both turned a nice green as Neko rambled on about how Lloyd was whipped by Colette.
Colette was emotionless of course, but Lloyd well he turned enough red for both of them.
"Dude. So wrong."
An auburn haired man sat in a black suit next to a girl in a black dress. The girl also had auburn hair with cat ears and a black tail. The man had a sword tied to his side.
"I made him an offer he couldn't refuse." She laughed.
The man hit his face in annoyance.
"I dressed up for this?"
"Dressed up for what?" She asked confused.
"Dressed up for you just to say that?"
"Say what?"
"Say that!"
"Say what?"
"Say 'I made him an offer he couldn't refuse'."
"I made him an offer he couldn't refuse."
He stared at her.
"What? You told me to say it!"
He slapped his face again.
"Hey why am I in a dress?"
"Hey Lloyd."
"Lloyd?"
"Lloyd?"
"LLOYD!"
The red clothed swordsman shrieked and tumbled out of bed.
"What?" He yelled.
"Oh, I was seeing if you were asleep." Neko smiled sheepishly.
"Kitty."
"Quack."
"Damn it!"
He walked back over to the bed and turned over. "Did you know Colette is pregnant?"
He shot up, fell off the bed, out the window, down the roof, in front of Noishe's pen, into the stream, headfirst into the bridge, and then into a tree.
"Yeah…just kidding. I just like mindless pranks. Excuse me I must go find an axe beak and shove it into Raine's desk."
In addition, Neko walked off.
At the end of the day, Raine was mentally scarred at her desk, Colette now didn't like the color pink so much, Genis was still running from a giant fire cat, Kratos…well the authoress doesn't actually know.
"I don't like tomatoes." Kratos growled.
A blond haired girl turned around in her computer chair and stared at him. "Your point? The comedic value of it is gold. I say my good Yosomono; tell me why do you think I torture you so much?"
"You hate me?"
"No actually you are my second favorite character, next to Summon Spirits."
"You find it very amusing?"
"Yes, yes I do. I cannot say that I am not. As that would be a lie. Lying is bad. Did you know that there is a cat behind you?"
He looked down and saw a cat holding a book. He picked it up and opened it up. His eyes shot open and he gaped at the book.
"I think it's a good read don't you."
"It's…it's…oh Martel!" He shrieked.
"Actually you say 'Oh, Yuan!' but hey what ever floats your washtub."
He dropped the book in disgust. "What the hell?" He shrieked.
The blond girl laughed. "You don't like that book?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Many things. Many things, Yosomono."
"I will never look at Yuan the same way."
"Well yeah you would be looking somewhere almost all fan girls dream to see in real life."
He shuddered.
She laughed.
Neko sighed and rolled over. She growled and rolled over again.
"Genis. Lloyd. I am going to fucking kill you."
Genis and Lloyd were on either side of her bed grinning stupidly.
"Neko! Come on!" Genis smiled.
"I don't wanna."
Lloyd grinned. "Please?"
"No."
"Come on!"
"No!" She shrieked.
She got up and walked out passing a creepy bunch.
There was a blond man and a green haired woman.
The green haired woman was covered in a revealing outfit and the blond man was running away from her. Neko giggled when she saw the woman carrying clothes. He shrieked and was dragged away into the store. "WOMAN! I AM A MAN! I DO NOT WEAR DRESSES! What the hell is that? No, I do not want lingerie human. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled as he dashed out into the hot desert of Triet.
A red haired man soon came after the shop after him laughing like a maniac. "Girly-boy!" He laughed. A lightning bolt landed on him as he shrieked. "My hair! NOT THE HAIR!" He then jumped out unharmed hit on a woman passing by, she slapped him and he fell…right back into the lightning bolt shower. Soon the shower died down as a red singed body fell from it. "It was worth it to see him in a dress."
A passerby heard this and stopped. "Are you gay?"
"I swear. Life gets weirder ever day among you guys." Neko commented. A cow flew over head making her look up in confusion.
"Please tell me that I'm not going insane."
A girl skipped up to her. Brown short hair waved slightly. She was wearing a red dress and shoes. Around her waist were two swords. She stopped smiling.
"Who are you?"
The girl laughed. "I'm your sister silly! You know Lyn. You call me Lloyd sometimes."
Neko shrieked and ran away bumping into a blond man. "Hey! Neko, do you like the new look?"
Neko stared. He was wearing a white suit with blue laces. "The people told me the chosen could do what ever he wants. The bowed down to the mighty Collin!"
"You mean Colette?" Neko asked.
A flower popped up.
"My name is Kratas! Neko please pay attention. This is not your happy place. This is one of your worst nightmares!' Kratas laughed insanely as Neko twitched, bolted, ran around screaming, rolled into a ditch, ran into a tree, ran into a rock, ran into a lake, ran into another tree, screamed, jumped into a moving caravan, jumped out seeing a hippy version of Genis and Raine, screamed, ran into another tree, and promptly woke up.
--To reality--
Neko shot up panting. She was riding on Noishe's back.
Everyone stared at her weirdly.
She ran over to the group pulled Lloyds hair, poked Kratos, screamed, grabbed Colette spun her around and then hid behind a tree.
"What the hell are you doing?" Raine shrieked.
"Is Lloyd still a guy, Colette still a girl, and Kratos isn't a talking flower that is named Kratas?"
Raine stared at the tree, blinked, blinked again, and walked off.
"Lloyd, never let me eat Raine's cooking ever again."
He nodded.
00Break from Randomness00
I named Kratos, Yosomono because of a song. It was from a Disney movie. A Japanese Disney movie. From the Lion King two. It was the 'Exile' song. Some of the Lyrics fit him quite well. It wasn't a bad idea in my view. I finished an advanced class and I started to understand some of the flaws in my writing. I found the gems of Japanese songs from Disney movies. I probably will be using them soon. Not many people are reviewing that kind of makes me annoyed. Hey, people that aren't reviewing. REVIEW!
Anyways, I wrote this when we had no power and I had no music so it might not be that good. I hope that I will be rewriting the story when I am done.
On the other hand, halfway through. I planned it so far.
I will be posting other stories as well soon. I don't want to only have this story up. I hope you will read that one, I am thinking about another story for TOS but I'm not sure if I should put it up. That one has a better beginning then this one.
Thank you for reading!
"Sonna koto shitta koto ja nai."- means 'I don't give a damn'