The Adventure's of L, Light'n, Larry: The Death before Christmas
Chapter 2: Part 2
Disclaimer: We do not own death note but we do own a raw frozen oozing black gooey bucket of seaweed (OH YEAH!)
Last time… on TAOLLL… (Note: its pronounced t, a, o and then triple L)
"It's okay, Larry, take your time." L said, calmly
(A digital clock ticks down from 0:10. A bass drum and triangle beat with each second, just like on the show, Everybody Loves Ra… I mean, the show, 24!)
"Where the hell did Larry go?" Light asked.
"His parent's don't let him play with bombs." L said.
"WE'RE his parents!" Light exclaimed.
"When I cleaned dishes at McDonalds, I learned how to defuse bombs. Do you know how many bombs get planted on McDonalds?" L said. Light changed into an orange jumpsuit, and L ran and hid behind a tree. He threw Light a… WALKIE TALKIE! And a pair of scissors!
"Why did you make me wear this jumpsuit?" Light asked.
"Their stylish!" L said, twirling. (I'm not so sure about that kid.)
"Okay, now listen carefully. One, hear me out here, ONE, yes just ONE FRIGGEN false move could end the show Family Guy as we know it!" L said, just then Peter Griffin walked by, giggling.
"Now, remember, ONE, yes, just ONE FR…" L was interrupted by Light.
"Friggin tell me how to disable the hackin' bomb!" Light screamed into the walkie talkie. The bomb had two seconds left
"Ya know it hurts my feelings and my eardrums when you scream at me like that." L said.
"I'm so sorry! I lost my temper!" Light said, with tears in his eyes, sobbing. They both looked at their favorite photograph. It showed Light pushing L on a swing on pink background. It had words that read: Always and forever, but were NOT GAY! SERIOUSLY!
"Now Light, cut the BLUE WIRE." L said.
"Okay, the blue… wait a minute they're all red!" Light said; sweat rolling down his… gonads. A man named Gyaretto (Wolflink93: That's me!), who was indeed fat and stinky. (Hey, I'm not fat… or stinky! I wear deodorant every other week!)… Fine, he was glowing a red aura.
"Actually, those wires aren't red. They are more of a magenta." Gyaretto stated in a heavenly like voice.
"You must have drunk too many tequilas. Those wires are pink!" Light said
"There purple you dick!" Gyaretto said.
"Well, actually, now that I think about it, those wires are definitely blue." Light said
"Cut it!" L commanded.
"Which one?" Light asked.
"The one that says 'cut here to defuse'!" L said. There was one second left. Light slooooowlyyy and draaaamatically pushed the scissors over to the wire. Then, in a stroke of bad luck he dropped the scissors!
"Well, I guess I better piiiick iiit uuup!" Light said. Trying to be cool, Light kicked up the scissors, but they were thrust into his forehead.
"Ahhh, damn it! I broke the scissors!" Light screamed. He threw the scissors at a building and sat down mad. The timer went down to half a second. Ah, screw it, it went down to ZERO.
"Ohhhhhh, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!" Everyone yelled. A flag erected from the bomb, which read 'BOOM!'
"Well…" Light said.
"To the dumpster!" L exclaimed
"Yep, she is still here." Light said. They looked at the corpse with little leprechauns chewing on it.
"Shoo, you little elf rejects!" Light yelled at them. They all ran off. Light and L jumped on the rotten corpse for about an hour, cause it was pretty fun.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey… I got an idea. Let's look in her pockets!" L explained. They started shuffling through her pockets, and found a NOTE! It read:
Yo bitch!
I'm gonna tell you what I did and leave this note on the corpse so you'll never get it! Okay, so like, I was all like "I'm gonna go kill Mrs. Claus! And all that shit!" I decided to break into her house and kill her. She lives alone since Santa and her got divorced.
Screw you,
From… uhhh……
Rey Pencil, age 18…
"R-R-R-R-Rey……………." Light stuttered.
"P-P-P-P-Pencil……………." L stuttered.
" - - - -" Larry stuttered.
"You're right! He does sound awfully familiar!" Light said.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" L asked.
"Yeah, I think so, LET'S GO SING CHRISTMAS CHAROLS!" Light yelled. They leaped out of the dumpster grabbed a guitar and amplifier they found in the street, and went to the house of…
Teenage Rey Pencil!
"Well, Watari, we fixed your voice box. But, it will never be the same." A surgeon told Watari.
"What-do-you-mean-uf-fu-qh!" Watari coughed.
DING-DONG! The trio rang the bell to Rey's house at the same time.
"Is everything ready?" Light asked.
"" Larry said.
"Yeah, I guess I shouldn't doubt you!" Light said. A teenager, who they recognized as Rey opened the door. "Hey wassup little whores!" He said in his way of saying hello.
"Silent night! Holy night! All is br…" They sang until Rey interrupted them
"Shut up! Sing me a song that has edge!" Rey said.
"Okay, just a sec." Light said. He began whispering to L.
"Alright, L! Put the sleeping gas into the guitar amp!" Light said.
"Why?" L asked,
"To put him to sleep, duh!" Light said.
"Why would we want to do that?" L asked, confused.
"Just freakin' go along with it!" Light commanded. L did so.
"You want a song with edge? I'll show you edge! Come on, one, two, three, four." Light yelled. Nothing happened.
"What song are we playing?" L asked
"Oh no you did not just ask that. We've been rehearsing it for weeks! And Larry still can't play his chello!" Light yelled. Rey just stared at them, with a goofy smile.
"We haven't rehearsed anything!" L yelled.
"Well we play it everyday, whether or not we like it!" Light said.
"Well, just tell me the fucking name and maybe I'll friggin remember!" L yelled. With anger, L reached his neck out in front of him. "FagGOT!" L yelled, hearing a snapping noise.
"Umm… I kinda dislodged my head." L said.
"Now it matches your hunchback and your ass!" Light said, happily. "Now, let's sing our theme song, THE WORLD… By Nightmare!
"Hirogaru yami no naka kawashiatta kakumei no chigiri! Aishita yume ni mebaeta, aku no hana!" They sang horribly, and the gas from the amp came out and Rey breathed it in. He fell down and started… sleeping and hyperventilating.
"Se kai wo, baby!" Light said, in a low pitched voice. He signaled for L and Larry to go inside the house.
"I didn't know you could speak German!" L said, walking inside.
"Me either." Light replied. They walked in to look for 'clues.' They looked around, and saw what looked like a bathroom door. They walked in and the room changed into Rey's bedroom!... With a toilet next to his bed. L sat down on the toilet seat.
"What the hell are you doing?" Light asked.
"I have to go!" L replied. "But freakin' Larry won't get out of my LAP!" L complained.
"Gimme back my afro!" Afro guy yelled crying and punching on a wall in a Solitary confinement building.
"He has a sticky ramen noodle in his sock drawer! Sus-pis-cious!" Light said in a high pitched voice, holding up a thong. He held it above his head, with a proud face, as the "Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time" music (When you open a chest) played. A message window popped up below Light.
"You got a Sticky Thong! Set it to X, Y, or Z, from the item select sub-screen, use it with X, Y, or Z to confuse your enemies!" It read
"I could use this!" Light said stuffing it within his pocket.
"". Larry said.
"Where did you find that note?" L asked
"". Larry answered.
"Let's read it!" Light said. They all stared at each other for about 5 seconds, and then read the note:
Dear hoe,
If you are reading this, then you suspected Rey Pencil of killing Ms.Claus. Ha-ha, you dick! It was not really him! It was ME! I AM……………
Uhhh…
From, Misa….?
"This note is so convincing, I believe every word of it!" L said.
Renodin: Is the killer REALLY the child porn star Misa?
Wolflink93: Suck it. Now review, we need to know if these stories are good or bad!
Note: Also review our other story Death Paper!
Peter Griffen: Ah-hehhehhehe!