Whatever
By Kraven Ergeist
Chapter Two
As promising as his sync rate had been, Ritsuko ceded, Shinji had a severe learning curve. While he could connect with his Eva with relative ease, Shinji simply couldn't seem to get a handle on fighting. He simply didn't have the edge, the mindset, the spunk, nothing that would be evident in a present day soldier. If Ritsuko had to guess what Shinji would do or be after graduating high school, she would have to either place him in the long list of salary men working in the city, a chef or an artist. The last thing on the boy's mind was fighting. He simply wasn't meant for combat.
But that doesn't mean the Commander isn't intent on using him for just that… Ritsuko thought, ruefully. How the man she had admired for so long could be so heartless, even concerning his own son, was beyond her. Ritsuko fancied herself an intelligent woman, and rarely ran into issues she couldn't resolve. The inner workings of Commander Ikari's mind were just such an issue.
"Alright, Shinji, forget about maneuvering, and just concentrate on one thing at a time," Ritsuko chided, as Shinji stumbled yet again on his Eva's feet. "Just get your footing, target the center, and pull the switch."
Ritsuko could hear Shinji repeat the orders to himself, and sighed.
This was going to be harder than she thought.
xxxxx
Ritsuko lit a cigarette and took in a well-deserved puff.
"So, how's life living with the teenager?" her friend and colleague asked, sipping her beer.
Ritsuko stared down at her food, not knowing where she was going to fit it all. How Misato put away the quantities she did amazed her.
"Oh, he's well behaved," Ritsuko threw Misato a dirty look. "So, let me dispel any bizarre ideas you may be having."
Misato feigned offense. "Ritsuko, I'm hurt!"
The faux blonde blew another puff of smoke. "Right… Anyway, he's really helpful – he does more than his share of the chores. Once he figured out where everything goes, he started pitching in every day. Not only has it given me more time to concentrate on work, but now I come home to a clean apartment and a fresh cooked dinner every night"
Misato stuck out her tongue. "You lucky! I'm so jealous!"
Ritsuko smiled, looking back. It was nice living with Shinji. It was awkward having to knock on her own bathroom door, and always having to make sure she was wearing something appropriate was a bit of change. Although she was a couple of steps above Misato in terms of decency, there was a certain liberty in lazing around your apartment in nothing but your underwear. There was one incident during their fist week that Misato would not be finding out about. But overall, Ritsuko decided that she really didn't have to give up much, and she was definitely enjoying herself more with the boy around.
She had always wondered whether she would start to see Shinji as the child she never had. In a way, it was a little bit like that. They both ate breakfast in the morning. He went to school, while she went off to work. They'd sit down and eat dinner together, and help each other with the dishes.
In other ways, and Ritsuko avoided thinking this way, he was like this pet that she was keeping. He would answer her every command, always cringed like he had his tail between his legs whenever she frowned at him, and when she praised him, the look on his face…
Ritsuko shuddered. It wasn't healthy. It was like he was dependant on the opinions of everyone else. When other people said nice things to him, he always brightened up. When people scolded him, he acted like it was the end of the world. Of course, everyone was like this a to a certain extent, but with Shinji, it was so overblown, it happened instantaneous, and (this is what Ritsuko couldn't understand) he could shift almost without warning from happy to depressed with a simple comment. How his mood could be so volatile, she hadn't the foggiest idea. It was worse than a woman in the height of PMS – worse, because whenever he became angry or fed up, he always bottled it up rather than lash out. Even without her background in the field of medicine, Ritsuko knew that it couldn't be healthy.
"We never really talk…" Ritsuko thought out loud.
"Hmm?" Misato said, through a mouthful of ramen. "Isn't that what we're doing right now?"
Ritsuko shook her head. "No, I mean Shinji and I. We never talk."
Misato swallowed what was in her mouth. "Oh, we're still talking about him?"
Ritsuko pretended not to hear. "He always feeds me these noncommittal responses whenever I ask him how his day went or what's on his mind or what he likes or doesn't like. He hasn't once given me his opinion about anything – about what we eat, what channel we watch on TV, who does what chore, even which classes he takes at school…he just let's me decide things for him."
Misato shrugged, lounging her head on the tabletop. "Sounds to me like he just doesn't want to deal with the responsibilities his life calls for. A sure sign of not wanting to grow up."
Ritsuko threw her old friend a smirk. "You're one to talk."
"Hey, it takes one to know one," Misato winked back, not denying it. "But maybe you should…you know, sit down and talk with him."
Ritsuko raised her eyebrow. "Misato, I'm his physician…and I'm his piloting coordinator. We sit down and talk all the time. He treats me like just that – his doctor, his teacher, his boss…if I were to sit him down for a talk, even at home, he'd just treat it like one of those discussions. What I need from him is something more like…a heart-to-heart kind of talk…"
Misato raised her eyebrows. "So, is that the physician talking or the woman talking?"
Ritsuko threw her a foul glare. "I should have known you wouldn't understand, Misato…"
"I'm serious, Ritsuko," Misato piped. "Are you doing this because it's your job or because you genuinely care about him?"
Ritsuko bit her lip. She hadn't thought of that. She knew that she genuinely wanted to get closer to the Third Child, but did she want to get closer as a mother, a scientist…or a woman?
Misato stood up, stretching her shoulders. "So, if you're his physician, that means you've given him a physical exam, right?"
Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. "Yes…?"
Misato downed the rest of her Yebisu. "So…out of ten, how big would you say-?"
"Oh, stop!" Ritsuko giggled. "I swear, you've only got one thing on your mind, Misato!"
The two women shared a laugh, disposed their trash, and left the cafeteria.
"Well, I might suggest that you two try to do more fun things together," Misato offered. "But you'd probably think I was suggesting something naughty, and you probably wouldn't have time anyway."
Ritsuko sighed. "I'm sorry, Misato, I don't mean to criticize you. And yes, you're right, I should spend more time with him. I appreciate you listening to me."
Misato winked. "Hey, what are friends for?"
Misato turned away to head off to the bridge, when Ritsuko called out to her.
"A solid eight, by the way…"
Ritsuko suppressed a laugh as Misato practically fell over.
xxxxx
Ritsuko arrived home, unsurprised to find dinner made and the house neatly dusted and vacuumed. She also knew that the trash bags had been taken to the street and the laundry had been done and the grocery shopping for the week had also been completed.
Ritsuko sat down on the living room couch, wishing for another cigarette (She had made an unspoken promise not to smoke around Shinji when at all possible – keeping it to her room or the balcony). Shinji was beyond "well trained house pet" at this point. He was acting like a regular stay-at-home husband.
Ritsuko flushed, distancing her mind from that last thought.
"Shinji?"
The boy opened his door, glancing out. Ritsuko could see his schoolbooks laid open on the desk she had provided for him.
"Yes, Doctor Akagi?"
Ritsuko pursed her lip. "Shinji…you've been living with me for weeks. Surely, you've known me long enough to call me by my first name?"
Shinji inclined his head. "I'm sorry…"
Ritsuko sighed. "Shinji…if don't start opening up to people, you'll find it more and more difficult later on. Trust me – I was a bit of a recluse when I was younger. I was only in my college years when I started to make any friends. And now Misato's the only real friend I have."
Shaking her head, Ritsuko realized how one-sided this conversation had become.
"What I'm trying to say is…I know that I'm your physician and your piloting coordinator…but that doesn't mean I can't also be your friend."
Shinji frowned, looking away. "It's kind of tough to work three jobs at once, Doctor Akagi…"
Ritsuko flinched. He had a point. It would be hard for the boy to trust someone who reported his every action to the very man he hated.
"I'm willing to try, Shinji," Ritsuko stood up, unperturbed. "You've been doing more than your fair share since you came here – it's only fair that I try to make an effort for your sake."
Shinji nodded, walking back toward his room. "Alright…whatever…"
Ritsuko bit her lip. This was going to be a lot harder than she thought.