Whatever
By Kraven Ergeist
Chapter Three
Ritsuko gritted her teeth. She was furious! She hadn't been expecting much from the boy, but surely he could have done better than this! After freezing up in the middle of the battle, what did Shinji do? He disobeyed a direct order and allowed two civilians into the entry plug, jeopardized the stability of the entry plug as well as its test data, before putting himself, his Eva, and with it, the fate of the entire world at stake! Had he gleamed nothing from their weeks of training procedures? What use was a pilot who did the complete opposite of what it was you wanted him to do?
She was about ten paces away from strangling the kid, when a familiar face stood between her and a much-needed outlet for her to vent on.
"Hold on, Ritsuko," Misato, facing her. The waiting room, and more importantly, Shinji, lay behind her. "I know just what you're thinking."
Ritsuko glared back at her. "Do you? That pathetic excuse for a pilot nearly ruined years of research and nearly brought about the destruction of humanity! That about cover it?"
Misato stood calmly. "Listen to yourself – you're angry. What Shinji did was treasonous, but yelling at him for it isn't going to solve anything."
Ritsuko crossed her arms. "Are you telling me how to raise my charge?"
Misato nodded. "It's precisely because he's your charge that your words will impact him so greatly. In any case, I'm his field commander, I'm the one who should be furious."
Ritsuko fixed her friend with a hard stare. "Then why aren't you?"
Misato closed her eyes. "Had that been Rei out there, the proceedings of today's battle would have baffled me. But Shinji is not Rei. He is not a military trained army brat who follows orders in cold blood. He is, for all intents and purposes, still a civilian."
Ritsuko glared. "He doesn't have the luxury of being a civilian, Misato. He's the pilot of Unit 01! The only one we've got!"
Misato sighed. "And he's also a 14 year old boy. He didn't know what to do. All he knew was that two of his classmates were in trouble. He did the only thing he could think of doing to protect them. For someone in his position, Ritsuko, the move was pretty impressive."
Ritsuko bit her lip. "So that's why you authorized it…" She shook her head. "I need to think this through, Misato. You can tell Shinji that he can go home now."
Misato nodded. "One more thing – I wouldn't be surprised if Shinji tries running away because of this."
Ritsuko nodded back. "You heard about his fight at school too, huh?"
Misato tried to smile. "All of NERV does."
Ritsuko laughed, bitterly, turning to go. "Such a caring line of work we devote ourselves to…"
Misato sighed. "As a good friend of mine would say…we don't have the luxury of being caring…"
Ritsuko didn't respond.
Watching her old friend walk off, Misato hoped to whatever gods were still listening that things would still be all right between the blonde and the small boy in the room adjacent.
xxxxx
By the time Shinji saw Ritsuko again, it was already dark. He was inside her apartment, and he could smell cigarette smoke on her, as well as some other scent that he suspected was alcohol. He wasn't going to ask her about it, of course. He hardly ever spoke to her unless spoken to.
They ate dinner quietly, Ritsuko offering her appraisal of the meal with pleased hum. Afterwards, they settled in front of the TV as they usually did, Shinji idly reading a schoolbook.
"I heard about the incident at school today," Ritsuko said out of the blue.
Shinji put down his book. "Huh?"
Ritsuko shook her head. "Even after he hit you twice in the face, you still disobeyed a direct order to save his life."
Shinji flinched. "Oh…I'm sorry…"
Ritsuko shook her head again. "Don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry, Shinji. Making an ordinary boy like you do something like this is inexcusable. But it's made me realize something…"
Ritsuko fixed Shinji with a caring smile.
"You're not a soldier. I can't expect you to behave or to react like one. So I'm not angry at the way you handled the battle today, Shinji. Anyone else in your situation would have gladly fled. Anyone else in your situation wouldn't have bothered to save those two when their own life was at such risk. For someone in your position to risk themselves like that…"
Shinji flinched as Ritsuko placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you, Shinji," Ritsuko said with a smile. "Maybe…maybe you're not such an ordinary boy after all."
Shinji looked up at her with a bashful expression on his face.
"Uh…th-thank you…Ritsuko…"
Ritsuko let out a giggle. "You finally called me by my first name, Shinji…"
She laughed even more when he blushed after that. Letting him get back to his book, Ritsuko fixed her attention on the screen in front of her. Her anger had abated, and in retrospect, Misato was right – she needn't have been angry to begin with. Quite the contrary, the events of the day seemed to have brought them even closer together.
Not only had he used her first name, but that was the first conversation they've had where Shinji hadn't ended it by saying "Whatever."
xxxxx
The next week, Ritsuko received a call from the Commander, asking her to speak with him immediately. Swallowing her tongue, Ritsuko ventured across Central Dogma to his wide brimmed office, the Sephirothic System sealing its roof.
"Doctor Akagi," the Commander spoke out, his attention diverted. "You haven't submitted this weeks report on the Third Child."
Ritsuko nodded. "No, I have not."
Gendo waited for her to explain, before deciding that she needed to be prompted.
"Why haven't you?"
Ritsuko shook her head. "There was nothing to report, sir."
A frown and a creased brow were all that marked the Commander's face.
"Nothing to report?"
Ritsuko nodded. "The Third Child's actions haven't varied since his arrival. He works like clockwork – awake at six, showers, prepares breakfast, eats it, leaves for school, arrives home at four, does housework till six, prepares dinner, eats it, and does homework until he goes to sleep at eleven. If I didn't know better, sir, I'd equate his behavior with that of the First Child."
She saw the dark haired man raise an eyebrow at this. "A foreseeable comparison. Very well. Be sure to report on any variation from this train of activity."
Ritsuko nodded. "Very well. If there is nothing else…"
Ritsuko saw a knowing glint of in his eye. "Since the Third Child doesn't seem to be hindering you, would you be available for dinner tonight?"
Ritsuko stiffened. She had always taken him up on such requests in the past. The "dinner," of course, never really lasted very long.
"I'm afraid that the Third Child doesn't account for all my duties, Sir," Ritsuko said, unblinkingly. "I'll have to take a rain check."
Gendo nodded, seemingly unaffected by the refusal. "Very well. Attend to your priorities then. Dismissed."
Ritsuko nodded and turned to go.
Once behind the steel door, she let a shiver go down her whole body.
That man…
How had she ever felt anything for that man? Gods, what had seemed to her in the past as smooth, elegant and mysterious was now prude, arrogant, snobbish and downright horrendous! The very thought of touching him now felt…
Ritsuko felt another shiver go down her spine.
At least now she wouldn't have to report on any of Shinji's activity. She had no doubt that her apartment was bugged in any case. It had simply felt dishonest to be reporting on him when he was living with her under his own free will. It was the least she could do.
Retreating to her office, she lit another cigarette and puffed it. A second later, she decided to take the rest of the day off. She usually enjoyed herself when she was at home. At least there she had someone to talk to, even though Shinji wasn't all too talkative.
Still, it was pleasant just to be with him.
Ritsuko pulled on her coat and headed out towards to the parking lot. By the time she made it home, she could smell dinner cooking, and the place looked better kept than it had ever been.
Ritsuko sighed, contently.
Pleasant and how.
"I'm home," she announced, removing her coat.
Shinji greeted her with a smile that looked almost relaxed. "Welcome home…you're, um…you're early…"
Ritsuko shooed away her cat as she slithered between her legs. "Felt like taking a breather. And NERV cafeteria lunches can't hold a flame to your home cooking."
Shinji blushed at the compliment. "I'm…glad you like it…"
Ritsuko sighed. Same old stay-at-home husband routine.
"Tell you what, Shinji," she stepped over to him. "I'll cook. It's about time I did something useful around here."
Shinji reluctantly stepped away from his pan. "Oh, well…it's almost done…I just thought…"
"Then it should be a no-brainer for me," Ritsuko waved him off. "Now be a dear and set the table while I tend to this."
Shinji stepped away from the stove, leaving his pan at the mercy of Ritsuko's cooking skills. Five minutes later, Ritsuko was serving something that may have once been stir fry, though now it more resembling something akin to charcoal. Though Shinji would never say it, he'd never seen anyone ruin food as quickly as Ritsuko had just then.
"I…think you left it on the burner a little too long, Ritsuko…"
The older woman groaned. "Alright, alright, I get it, I get it…cooking just doesn't seem to be my calling…"
Shinji crunched on the charcoal. "No, no…it's good…"
"You don't need to sugarcoat it, Shinji," she groaned. "Just get back in there and fix something edible. And if I ever volunteer to help you prepare food again, you can lock me out of the kitchen for life. You have my permission."
Shinji decided she was trying to be funny and laughed. Or tried to.
He came back with some miso soup and some rice. Ritsuko sighed. Not as satisfying as stir fry, but she only herself to blame for the lack of that particular food item.
"So, seeing as we both have the day off…" Ritsuko said (though Shinji's school had Sunday's off, NERV was not so generous to it employees) deciding to take Misato's earlier advice to heart. "Why don't the two of us go out and do something? I could show you around town, go to the park, get some fresh air…you know, get to know one another a little better?"
Shinji didn't seem too impressed with the idea. "Um…if you want to…"
Ritsuko frowned. What was this boy, her chamberlain? Did he refuse to do anything unless somebody else desired it?
"What would you like to do, Shinji?" Ritsuko asked, leaning over the table to stare at him.
Shinji nearly crippled under her intense gaze. His subconscious mind had picked a wonderful time to suddenly decide to see Ritsuko as an attractive woman.
As for said woman, she sat back down after a few seconds, defeated, resuming her meal in silence.
It looked like it was going to be another boring day sitting around…
"I, uh…" Shinji spoke up.
Ritsuko looked up.
"I…I like the sea…" Shinji managed to get out, before retreating back into his blush.
Ritsuko blinked, staring at him. He ventured no more than that, but the words had already been said.
Was her mind playing tricks on her?
Had Shinji just volunteered an opinion?
Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Ritsuko got up to pack a small bag.
"The sea it is…"