Mad Science: Naruto's Revenge
Disclaimer: What do you think?
Me: Hey, I'm back. I managed to lose Laharl by ducking into a strip club full of succubi and nekomatas (good thing he hates sexy women). Actually, as you read this, I'm currently enjoying myself. Heh, heh, heh… Enjoy!
Episode 2: Classroom Chaos! School is Hell! Especially in Maritsu Evil Academy!
Note: Same format as last chapter. Next chap will be normal, though.
"She's a Steal!"
1111 Some years from the end of last chap, in some random hallway in the school 1111
After finally getting in to Maritsu, Rose had moved she, Naruto, and Nicole's (remember, she lives with them now) stuff in to a housing complex on campus. Yeah, the school was that big. They heard that Skunky had moved into a dumpster on campus, too. Anyways, funny story…
All of Naruto's stuff was stolen by a bandit the day after he moved in. Currently, he and Nicole are chasing said bandit. She had blonde hair that hung down in a ponytail down her back, orange eyes, goggles around a cap that looked like cat ears, a small undershirt under a small orange long sleeved jacket, and orange shorts. And currently, she had a bag of stuff strapped to her back.
"Catch me if you can!" she yelled back to the duo.
"Damn… must be a pretty good thief to be able to steal all that stuff so quickly without anyone noticing… unless the prinnies were being lazy, anyway." Naruto said in a half annoyed, half in awe tone.
"Huh. She'd make a good ally." Nicole added, then thought 'As long as she doesn't STEAL you from me. Heh, heh….' A smirk was present on her face after this thought, alongside a predatory gleam in her eye.
'I don't even wanna know…' Naruto thought when he noticed said look. They continued to chase the bandit for some time… hours… then about two days passed before the two caught her. Being chased by ANBU for pulling pranks (under the pretext of getting attention, though he was really just doing it out of spite for Konoha) probably helped with his stamina. Becoming a demon probably also helped out, too.
After setting down Nicole (who got too tired about 12 hours into the chase and asked 'Naru-kun' to give her a piggyback ride), the two confronted the finally tired out thief.
"Alright (huff)(huff) I give. You're good, so I guess you can have your stuff back (huff)(huff)" The bandit said as she stood up, then held out her hand and added, "I think you deserve to know my name for that feat of endurance. It's Pilfa."
"Naruto." Naruto said as he shook her hand.
"I think you deserve my services, too, so call me up if you need anything stolen. Later!" Pilfa finished up as she ran off. After she left, Naruto stared at the (cough)small(cough) bag his stuff was in. How she managed to fit a house's worth of stuff in there, he would never know.
(Pilfa has joined Naruto's party!)
"Super Vato Bros."
Naruto did attend class from time to time, but when he did, he usually disrupted it somehow… namely with pranks. He was currently reminiscing about the one he just pulled in his last class. He'd pulled a stack of pies (filled with demonic superglue) out of nowhere and just started tossing them randomly. It was utter chaos. He even hit the teacher of that class, a succubus named Ms.Machiko. Odd woman, kept staring at him lustfully…. He heard that she had a little sister, too. He could swear he'd seen them stalking him sometimes….
Made him glad he had Nicole as a bodyguard.
He was so engrossed in his thoughts, he actually stepped on some poor bozo without even knowing he did. He only realized when he heard a voice with a Spanish accent exclaim,
"HEY! You ran over our bro Churro, homes!"
"Yeah! You gonna pay, ese!"
Naruto turned around and saw a trio of orcs. They looked identical- short, blue-skinned, pig body, stood on hind legs, tusks, clubs, and helmets on all of 'em.
"Oh come on, it's not like he's dead! And who are you, anyway?"
"I don't CARE if I'm not dead, weddo! You're still gonna suffer the wrath of the Vato Bros!" the one he stepped on proclaimed. Then,
"I'm Chewie, ese!"
"I'm Cholo, homes!"
"And I'm the leader, Churro, weddo! Now, UNDELE MUCHACHOS!"
As Churro finished, three ghosts leapt into view.
"Using others to fight for you, eh? Not a bad technique, and not a bad army. However, MINE'S BETTER! SHADOW CLONE JUTSU (AN: If you don't like the American names, tough luck)!" And then, hundreds of Narutos were in the hallway. The three ghosts then…
Promptly ran away.
"Bro, I don't think we paid them enough, ese."
"Uh-oh… homes…."
The three orcs looked to see Naruto and his clones grinning evilly at them.
"I say we lynch them!" one clone shouted.
"I say we dunk them in super hot nacho cheese!" said another.
"Tie them up and leave them in the girls' hotspring!" then…
"YEAH!"
"Double uh-oh… weddo…"
And the three were later at the nurse's office with injuries only enraged females could make. And they were clutching their pride, too.
1111 Naru's dorm 1111
"That. Was. Hilarious!" Naruto laughed. He'd learned that technique while spying on Konoha once. Some guy named Mizuki stole the Forbidden Scroll, and Naruto watched the whole fiasco unfold from the portal. He just read over Mizuki's shoulder while the guy was trying to learn a technique or two before he bolted from Konoha. Naruto caught two jutsus from the scroll- the shadow clones, and the Rasengan. He'd mastered them both in less than a week, then started making variations on the latter.
"Although… they may have just beat those three stooges up because they were… not really attractive…." He shuddered "I wonder if they would have done the same to me, or if they would've raped me instead?" he shuddered again "I hope I don't have to find out."
"Naruto's Heart"
Naruto watched as Mao and a black-haired human wearing a scarf and trenchcoat walked out of the Heart Bank… which quite literally stored hearts. One could even travel in their own or someone else's should they choose too. A Heart World. He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a
"Hey Naruto!" from Mao.
"Hey Mao. What's up? And who's the human?"
"Eh, just trying to defeat my dad. This time, I tried to become a hero to do it since heroes always seem to beat Overlords, so I stole this guy's title. But, alas, Almaz is just a fake hero… and my newest servant."
"Huh. Neat. Well, later!"
"Wait, Naruto…."
"What, Mao?"
"You've seen the inside of MY heart before… but I've never seen the inside of yours."
"…"
"Uh, Naruto?"
"… Never… EVER… GO IN THERE, DAMMIT! IT'S OFF-LIMITS! NO ONE GOES IN THERE BUT ME!" Naruto yelled, his anger quite evident. Almaz hid behind Mao, and was shaking. Mao's eyes had widened slightly, but he gave no other indication of surprise or fear. Naruto paused, then added
"You're going anyway, aren't you?"
"Of course! It is the duty of an honor student to disobey orders! ... Unless the order is to not do chores or something like that. THEN we obey."
"Fine… I'm going to go slaughter some poor idiot who doesn't deserve a painful death. Gotta let off some steam…" Then Naruto left. Just as he left though, Nicole and Skunky came up, intending to follow Mao and Almaz in. Like Naruto said, he was the only one allowed in there. He'd never let anyone else in. Ever. So they were curious. Even Raspberyl, Asuka, and Kyoko tagged along- apparently they had some time before their next class came up, and had noticed what was going on.
1111 In Naruto's Heart 1111
One word could describe what the inside of Naruto's heart looked like. And that word was gloomy. Even Mao had to admit that his heart wasn't THIS messed up. The group was currently standing in front of a black, stormy vortex that presumably led to Naruto's heart vault. A little to their left was a cemetery with a single tombstone in it that read "Innocence."
Skunky picked up a katana that was lying around and said "I'm probably going to regret this later, but let's take a look at a memory…" Then he flipped a switch on the katana's hilt. There was a flash of light, and the group found themselves in Konoha. A memory version, yes, but still.
A mob of angry people went by near them a few seconds later, shouting stuff like "Kill the demon!" and whatnot.
Mao then said, "Demon? Naruto didn't become a demon until he was in the Netherworld, and this is before then!"
Beryl added, "Yeah! He was just the container, not Rose herself OR a demon! Are these people stupid or something?"
Kyoko and Asuka: "We agree with our Lady!"
Then they all followed the mob to find them lynching a 5 year old Naruto. They'd already stabbed his eyes out with katanas and someone was proceeding to stomp on his stomach. Then, the memory ended rather abruptly.
"Woah… so cruel…" a shocked Almaz managed to say.
Nicole was tearing up, on the other hand, and choked out a "I think Naru-kun deserves a hug after we're done…"
"Yes, he would." Came an unknown voice.
"Eh? Who's there!" questioned Mao. A Part of Naruto's heart with his eyes stabbed out and a sword through his head and his mouth stitched up stepped up.
"I am Tortured Naruto. I represent the negative feelings the Master wishes to show to those around him. I also try to protect him from further traumatization."
Beryl: "Okay. Can we see his heart vault, TN-san?"
"Sure. But don't touch anything."
1111 Heart Vault 1111
An aqua-colored Naruto stepped up.
"Naruto's true heart, I presume?" Mao asked.
"Yes." Then a menacing "ROOOOAAAAAR!!" erupted from somewhere… but it sounded like it came from everywhere.
"What the hell was that?" –Mao
"That would be what us denizens of the Heart call The Darkness." Explained THN, "It is a grotesque being that represents Naruto's most negative emotions. It was once Naruto's dark side, but due to all the negative emotions Naruto used to feel, that dark side became warped with power and we had to seal it away, lest Master go berserk. It is slowly fading these days, and I hope it disappears completely one day."
"I see." Said Mao, then he and everyone else turned to look at the vault. It was chained up to the point where you couldn't even SEE the vault anymore.
"Such is the result of constant beatings. Stupid Konoha bastards… though, like The Darkness, the chains are also slowly fading…." TN explained. Then he said "I think your tour's lasted long enough. Please leave."
And so everyone did, though Mao protested somewhat.
1111 Outside the Heart Bank 1111
Naruto was heading back to see if they were done looking around in there yet, when Nicole tackled and hugged him. "Poor Naru-kun! I hope this hug makes you feel a little better."
"Uh… thanks, Nicole." Then he paused… and returned the hug.
"Ahhh, how romantic! Asuka, Kyoko! Get the cameras! We need to document this!"
" Yes my Lady!" They both said at the same time.
…
And that marks the end of Episode 2!
Next time on Mad Science: Naruto's Revenge-
"Graduation Match! Or, Super Vato Bros Advance!"
Stay tuned!
Churro: Yo, weddo! You gonna pay for what you did to us!
Cholo: Yeah, homes! You made me cry!
Me: Will you leave me alone if I pay you 100,000 hell?
Churro: Hmmm… Si. That'll do, weddo.
Me: Okay then here's your money (hands it to them)
Chewie: All Right! Later Zdood, ese!
Me: Later, guys! … Three. Two. One.
BOOOOOOOOM!
Churro: AAAAGH! Dammit, weddo! The bastard put a bomb in there!
Me: I'm outta here. (runs away… again)
Vato Bros: GET BACK HERE, ESE/HOMES/WEDDO!