Lol i did this fast that is why it is so short...i wanted to update but i have so much homework i dont have time to do a longer update!
In the morning Luka took Joe and I around town. He took me to all the places he enjoyed growing up and we stopped at a park Luka played at when he was little so Joe could play there.
"I never thought that all of my children would play on this playground." Luka said to me. I then asked him if his daughter and son used to come here and he told me that this was their favorite place in the whole world. I knew that this park brought back memories for Luka. I could tell that he was upset. I told him that it was ok to be sad about his wife. Luka actually had stray tears rolling down his cheeks.
I had never really seen Luka cry before, well when Joe was in the NICU but other than that I don't think I have. I wiped the tears off of his cheeks and put my arms around his waist. I knew that coming back here would be like this. After the park we went back to his parent's house and ate dinner. We stayed in Croatia for about a month and then we flew back as a family.
Getting our lives back to normal was my next challenge. Luka and I never regained that trust or comfort level with each other. Or at least he hasn't been comfortable with me lately.
When I first got here everything seemed like it was going well but towards the end of my stay things got cold between us. I don't know what happened, we didn't fight or anything. It is like someone just blew out a candle, one second it is there and the next the feelings are gone.
Maybe coming home to our apartment brought back the memory of the night I told him I cheated on him? I wish I could get into his mind if only for a second and answer all these questions. I want to know how he truly feels about me but he just clams up and won't talk to me when I ask him.