After the Tone

You have seven new messages.

Message one, recorded at 4:47 PM, Friday.

"Hey Sora, it's me. Look, I know that we had plans tonight, but I can't make it. I'm real sorry; I can practically hear you cursing me out right about now. You can blame my sister for it, because we got into this fight – you know how it goes– and my folks grounded me because I'm supposed to be the older, more responsible one ... Whatever. They say I can't leave the house this weekend. Please don't hate me, baby. I promise to make it up to you at a later date. You can hold me to that, I swear.

"Later."

Message two, recorded at 9:24 PM, Friday.

"Fuck, Sora, pick up the phone. Please, just listen to me! I can explain everything if you'll just give me the chance to. You left so quickly; I couldn't catch up with you, and you'd totally disappeared by the time I made it outside. I want to sort things out, Sora ... Can't we do this face to face? Please? At the very least, don't make me lay it out to you on the – wait, wait, let me rephrase that! Just ... Just hear me out, okay? I'm so sorry about everything. Please, give me the opportunity to tell you what really happened.

"So ... Call me back if you're willing to meet with me, okay? Please?"

Message three, recorded at 10:01 PM, Friday.

"Okay, so ... I still haven't heard from you. I know you check this thing often, so I guess you don't want to see me right now. That's okay. I don't blame you. You have every right to dump my sorry ass and never speak to me again, but I'm hoping that you won't. Like ... you have no idea how badly I'm hoping. Think: Victoria Beckham hoping for a daughter. I seriously need you, Sora, and I can't express to you in words just how sorry I am. That's why I wanted to talk to you in person, but if you'll just pick up the phone, I'll take whatever I can get.

"I love you, baby."

Message four, recorded at 10:52 PM, Friday.

"Come ON, Sora! What do I have to say or do just to get you to talk to me? I've already told you that I'm sorry. I'm really, really, truly, honestly, absolutely sorry! Why won't you believe me? Stop being silly; just pick up already. I don't want to be a dickhead and explain myself on an answering machine ...

"...

"... Fine. Okay. Call me soon."

Message five, recorded at 11:58 PM, Friday.

"That's IT! I'm sick of waiting! If you're going to be such a fucking girl about all of this, then fine! Sit at home and watch Free Willy for all I care. Go cry your eyes out. ... FUCK! I hate it when you go all pansy on me! Be a fucking man, Sora; grow some balls, already. So the fuck what if I lied about being grounded? What were you doing in a nightclub, anyway? Huh? Answer that one, Oh Mighty Lord of Innocence. ... Man, I'm so pissed off right now. This is all YOUR fault anyway! Yeah ... Yeah! I wouldn't have had to go sneaking around behind your back and getting fucked by my ex-boyfriend if you weren't so prude and actually put out once in a while! So suck on that, bitch.

"You can blame yourself for all of this ... Hell, I should blame you for making me have to resort to lies and secret rabbit sex on top of bench in a fucking bathroom! Yeah, try getting that image out of your head. Hah.

"To hell with explanations. Fuck you."

Message six, recorded at 2:16 AM, Saturday.

"... Christ, Sora. I'm so sorry. I'm the biggest jackass in the entire fucking world. I feel like shit right now; I just want to die for what I've done to you ... for what I said. I take it all back ... I wish I could just eat my words. It wasn't your fault ... of course it wasn't ... No. I'm the only one to blame here. I'd always said that I'd wait for you, that you had all the time in the world ... I didn't want to rush you into something you weren't sure of just yet ... and then just look at what I did. I fucked up everything. I got impatient and you weren't showing any signs of letting up, so ... I don't even know what I was thinking anymore. Axel was just kind of ... there. I'm a pig, I know.

"I'm so sorry. If I could go back in time and set things right, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I'd sell my kidney – no, I'd shave my head – just to have a second chance ... to fix everything. Because, you know ... I meant it when I said I needed you. Even now, when I'm the last person you ever want to see again, the last person you ever want to hear say your name again, I want to be there with you. I ... I'm actually scared. I'm ... seriously fucking frightened that I've dug this hole for myself and I won't be able to get out.

"... I don't like this feeling ..."

Message seven, recorded at 3:35 PM, Saturday.

"I've lost track of how many times I've called you, but I can't sleep. There's something in my stomach, and in my chest, and in my throat ... and whatever it is, it wants out. I think it's going to tear me apart. I just want you to know that my dying wish is to have my skateboard preserved. ... Sorry. I'm sorry; it's too soon for jokes. I am serious, though ... about that feeling. I honestly can't sit still. I feel horrible. ... You don't have to forgive me, by the way. I don't actually expect you to. But ...

"... But I really do love you, Sora. So ... at least don't hate me forever; I want to be able to look you in the eyes one day.

"I think that's what I'm going to miss most: your eyes."

End of messages.