Chapter Three

You know, it just occurred to me now that I haven't properly thought about why I'm not even trying to wonder about anything, especially whether or not this is all real. It might be because I've always believed in embracing the moment, not questioning the why or how just living life on the high. Or something like that...

It might also be because I'm deluding myself into thinking that I am still dreaming and that the aches and pains are just part of the package. It sounds kind of reasonable actually, if it were not for the fact that I've already pinched myself several times and that I did drink a potion. With a capital P to be precise. Drinking or eating doesn't usually take place in the dream world because before one is able to touch the item in question, one wakes up. Trust me, I've had experience.

"So uh, 'ow did you get inside the cannon then? Marcus told me that you flew right-o before that bloody ball of fire and me, I'mma just wondering what's a girl like you doin' there in the first place."

I sighed. "The accent doesn't really work, Cinna. Just because I got a bit excited over the fact that I was speaking to a bunch of thieves and expecting them to know some street slang doesn't mean that you can go about trying to talk in that manner in the hopes of getting some money off me."

"I'm not asking for some money," Cinna said, his voice just a bit over what's considered a hurt voice, making it sound all the more untrue. "I am serious about that question. How did you get there anyway?"

Ouch. For someone with a brain as large as mine, you'd think I'd have figured out an answer to that question. Oh well. Let's seize the moment! And wing it. "I don't know." The words tumbled down my treacherous mouth and wanted an encore. I quickly tried covering it up with some fast-acting glue. The hole to my reasoning that is—being the thing that I'm trying to cover up. Man, do I sound stupid. "I don't…remember what happened before that."

"You don't?"

Tongue-tied and petrified alright. I swallowed my spit and spoke slowly to make sure that none of the words that were coming out sounded wrong in some way, "I remember my name if that helps. I think maybe I bumped my head too hard."

Cinna nodded in understanding. "Happens to all of us, kiddo. Don'tcha feel too sad about it. It'll eventually come back. Why! Once I got hit by a frying pan and boy did that really hurt—"

"But Cinna doesn't really have that many brain cells to lose in the first place so he didn't really forget anything." Blank pointed out. "Zidane's having a fight with the Boss, by the way. Says he's going to leave whether the Boss likes it or not. If you want to see them go against each other, go ahead. They're at that room beyond the door on your left."

Cinna stumbled towards the room, his eyes somewhat hungry-like. I have a feeling that he wasn't going to go there for the fight. Having read books about thieves, I'm pretty sure he's going for the crowd's purses. Oh those poor musicians. And didn't he even feel slightly injured by Blank's statement? After all, the man might as well have called him stupid…

"The memory loss won't work for long you know." Blank murmured quietly, barely enough for even me to hear. "You better make up a more solid excuse before anyone asks you again."

"Whoever said it was an excuse?" Would have been what I said if my brain didn't function at the pace of a turtle that keeps getting distracted by all the food it sees along the way. Before I could even open my mouth though, Blank had strolled away with a tune to his whistle.

The bastard. I made a face and turned around, crossing my arms with a pout. "Grumble, grumble, grumble," I murmured under my breath, my eyes narrowed. "Grumble, grumble, grumble…"

After three seconds of feeling sorry for myself, I trotted towards the room where the knight was staying. I didn't want to watch Zidane fight because, honestly? I have the paranoia of a sandwich about to get eaten, which translates to: I'm afraid I will see Zidane get his bum kicked so I better go to the knight to plan for the princess's rescue in case Zidane won't be joining us. Aaah. My logic astounds me sometimes.

I knocked on the door and opened it. "Sir?" I asked in a loud clear voice. I may not know much about the knight but I'm pretty sure his kind likes to respond to someone respectful of authority. Especially if it is his authority that gets respected. "Sir knight?"

"Yes? Is it one of you scoundrels?" The knight bellowed, making my ears ache.

"Just me," I said, doing my best imitation of a kid who had just eaten a large bowl of ice cream and is feeling terribly happy, as I slipped into the room. "I'm Rebecca." And I'm hungry by the way, can you perhaps, spare a chocolate bar for poor little ol' me?

"And how am I to know whether you are rogue or not like the others?"

Doesn't he know about the incident I was in? The one where there was flying and a ball of madness involved? "I was on the rooftops, sir, and I fell on the ship. Terribly clumsy of me, I know."

The expression on the knight's face softened. "You do look like you've been stranded here against your will, poor thing."

I looked down. I was wearing a pair of jeans, winter boots, a black shirt with a dragon spiraling along, my ratty dark blue jacket which had seen better days and the bronze gloves Cinna had given me. Around my waist was the belt from which a short sword hung. Did I look poor to him? Probably, since he sounded so sympathetic.

"Well you must feel pretty down too," I pointed out, trying to steer the sympathy back to its owner.

"I do smell somewhat…differently than usual," the knight admitted, wrinkling his nose. Hah! You're just trying to hide the fact that you smell like shit. I struggled to keep my face passive and succeeded only barely; my eye would twitch occasionally. "And I do feel a bit queasy still from that last fight."

Uhuh. "What was your name again, sir?" I asked. "Not meaning to be disrespectful or anything."

"I am Captain Adelbert Steiner of the Knights of Pluto." Steiner beamed with pride as he declared for all to hear his complete name, plus title. Why not add your social standing, upbringing, the names of your fathers and forefathers too? And yes, I'm being a bit harsh on the man. Might as well suck it up.

"Oh wow! Really? To think that a captain, a bloody captain—excuse my Klatch—within the same room as me is just so cool," I said with just the right amount of awe. No sarcasm whatsoever present. I swear.

"Klatch? I don't recall—"

The door burst open much to my relief. I had accidentally quoted Terry Pratchett and yeah…it almost went out of hand. Oh well! Better luck next time. I should really mess more heads while I'm at it. Might as well tell them I'm on a different universe where all of this was just a game which I had played when I was younger. And often died as a result of continually pressing the X button. Hey! I was really young when I played this which explains why my logic was so flawed then.

Not that it had improved over the years. "Hello, Zidane. Hello, kiddo. Never did catch your name."

"Vivi," the small mage said, sparking yet another memory in my mind's eye. Now I'm beginning to remember this game! Except that there wasn't much to remember in the first place, considering the fact that I could never get past that slithery serpent in the Ice Cavern.

"Name's Rebecca," I said and smiled, offering the mage my hand. He looked up at me, took my hand and shook it solemnly. I would have died from the sweetness. Seriously! My evil heart would break if I look at those eyes again. Worse, I would suddenly go crazy from the pure innocence and explode into a thousand bits, raining fat and sugar everywhere. Think of the mess I would have made.

"You can let go now."

"Oh! Right. Of course," I took a step back and gave Zidane a grin. "What can I say? This kid can easily beat you at one of those whoever-gets-the-most-women-in-an-hour contests, hands down."

Zidane raised an eyebrow, his eyes dancing with amusement, "Right."

"I also think that the Potion you gave me has made me hyper," I chatted on, my mind barely keeping up with my mouth. "Coz boy do I feel like running a hundred miles right now and dancing to the beat of Dancing Queen which I would normally not do." I placed my hands on my mouth and rolled my eyes. Please spare me from further embarrassment. I beg of you.

Zidane's obviously good with deciphering desperate stares because he looked at Steiner and spoke, "You coming with us to save the princess, Rusty?"

The knight sputtered indignantly, "My name is not Rusty, you scoundrel! At least Rebecca here had the decency to be polite and addressed me like a proper citizen." Hey! Don't add me to the argument. I'm barely holding on here. Speaking of which, I readjusted my arm and tried my best to look as innocent as Vivi.

All I got from Zidane was an expression of bemused disbelief.

The two exchanged words for what felt like forever. I didn't bother to listen in though because I was too busy trying to stop myself from jumping in the conversation and letting my mouth flap on and on about whatever, thus prolonging the whole excursion which would ultimately lead to the death of one hot princess. Yes, my mouth has a mind of its own.

"You're coming too, right?" Zidane asked me. I blinked.

I let go of my mouth and composed myself to make sure that no words of stupidity would come out of my mouth again. "I don't know if I can be of much help but sure. Why not?" I said, ignoring the fact that I had just thought of going after the princess without Zidane's aid, only moments ago. If only the three of us had gone…

I could almost see it now and what a pretty picture it is. Notice the sarcasm here. I might as well have asked for an early death if I had gone to the forest without Zidane's help. Oh I knew the two were capable of looking after themselves alright but without a good leader to lead them—Steiner doesn't quite fit the bill for all that he is a captain—we'd be dead meat.

"Aaah!!" I fell flat on my face and groaned. We haven't even walked outside the ship yet and I've already tripped on a loose floorboard. My poor poor knees.

"You alright?" Zidane asked and pulled me to my feet.

"Just my pride injured, no biggie," I spoke with the enthusiasm of a monk walking through a bed of burning coals.

"You should really watch where you're going, Rebecca," Steiner admonished.

"I will…Captain Steiner," I said, still playing the good citizen. "Thank you for being so thoughtful."

"Right," Zidane coughed. You're just jealous coz I'm so good at sucking up. Hah!

I patted his back, a look of pure concern in my face. "You ok, Zidane? You sound like you have a cough. Maybe you should stay here and let us go and save the princess."

His eyes glinted with mirth and mischief. "Maybe I should. I think you guys can handle it."

Hell no. I grabbed Zidane in a headlock and murmured in a low dangerous voice, "If you don't want to come with us, I could always ask Cinna to help. I'm sure he'd love to get a hold on the princess."

"No!" Zidane exclaimed and pushed me away. I wiped my hands and arms as best as I could. After all, I was allergic to men. I simply did that out of the goodness of my heart. And because we needed Zidane if we're going to come out of the Forest of Death alive.

"Let's go then?"

The walk to the entrance would have been made in silence if it were not for the fact that Steiner's glares just screamed murder.

…Oh crap. This is what happens when I am bored. My humor goes down by thirty percent and refuses to climb up again until I've been substantially intoxicated with chocolate. Speaking of chocolate, I'm hungry. I spotted Cinna who was standing just outside the ship and bounced to his side, demanding that I be fed at once.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not part of Tantalus. You'll have to pay me if you want something."

"Zidane's part of Tantalus."

"Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"The Boss kicked him out."

"Can I at least have an apple?"

"That'll be ten gil."

"Ten gil?! Ten gil?!"

"Yes."

"But I don't have ten gil."

"Why not?"

"A thief stole my money."

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"Would it make a difference? Would I get the apple for free?"

"No on both questions."

"Then yes. I'm trying to be funny," I said and gave the man a grin. The only reaction I got was a blank stare. See? Without my chocolate, I am nothing but a man—I mean, woman with a clown complex. What's even worse is that I don't even get a bloody red nose. Heck, Rudolph was lucky. His nose even shone.

"What's up?" Zidane appeared besides me, tucking a purple potion in his belt of wonders.

"I'm hungry," I whined. "Cinna wouldn't give me an apple."

"It's ten gil," Cinna grumbled. "It's not like I'm asking for a thousand."

Zidane flicked a coin in Mr. Uncooperative's direction. "Go crazy," he told me and winked. I gaped. Oh man. That was just so cool. I should definitely take notes next time.

Cinna grabbed an apple from his pocket and handed it with a glare. I don't get it. Why the sudden change in mood? He wasn't this bad a while ago. "Did something bad happen?" I asked as I turned the apple over and over in my hand. I wouldn't put this in my mouth even if I was starving to death, especially when it came from his pants pocket. Imagine the number of farts he had produced between the time he had placed this in his pocket and when he had given it to me. Alright, so it might not be that gross. I'm still not eating it though.

"I just lost something. It doesn't really matter."

"Well it must be valuable if you're acting so grumpy about it," I pointed out. Wait. Why am I still standing here? The others must have left me by now. "Well good luck finding it," I said and jogged for trees where Zidane and the others waited. "Terribly sorry that I wasted your time," I said, directing the apology to Steiner for good measure. "I haven't eaten you see and was desperate for a little grub."

"Understandable," Steiner said with a nod. "Now onwards. Before the trail goes cold." Vivi followed the man, his eyes glowing with admiration. Maybe because despite the rusty armor—which still stunk, mind you—the man had looked quite imposing when he said those words.

"Do you have to be so nice to him?" Zidane hissed once the knight was out of earshot. "His head is only going to get bigger you know."

"You just have to push the right buttons," I answered back. "I don't really like him too but I can't go about treating him that way just because he's a bit bad-tempered and hard to get along with."

"Where's the fun in that?" Zidane smirked. "And anyway, he needs to learn how to get along with the rest of us—"

"You mean you," I cut in. "He can get along with Vivi too."

"Only because it's hard not to like Vivi."

"You're just saying that—"

"Incoming!" Zidane shouted and unsheathed his daggers. I drew my sword as well and gripped the hilt with both hands, my heart thumping crazily. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. I'm not ready for this.

A dark brown creature with what looked like three fluffy tails sewn on its forehead growled menacingly at me. I gulped. Well all for nothing. It's finally time for me to prove to the rest of the world just how much of a man I am. I mean woman. Jeez. Gender-confused much?

I scream what I think is an animalistic cry of fury and run to the fuzzball, my arms raised high. It flattened its ears and tucked its tail in between its legs. Was I that scary-looking? My arms dropped to their respective sides as I stared at the frightened creature before me. I couldn't kill it. Especially if it looked so cute—

"Gaaaaaah!" I shielded my face with my arms and fell on my butt as that damned fuzzball suddenly jumped on me, fangs a-blazin'. I will never trust an animal again, even if they look disturbingly cute and cuddly. Whatever that means.

Its teeth tried to tear a chunk of flesh off my arm but couldn't because of the glove which barred the teeth's path. Thank you, Cinna! I slammed my feet against the fiend's belly and took the apple from one of my jacket's many pockets. "Eat this instead!" I shouted and chucked the apple straight at the monster's forehead. It hit home, much to my relief, and I took a moment to thank my PE teacher for making us play dodgeball almost daily before scrambling to my feet. With sword in hand, I ran to the others who were fighting their own set of monsters. The three of them moved with the ease of experienced fighters, killing the fiends as if they were merely flies. I looked back and saw that the fuzzball was lying on its back, its eyes rolled back. I didn't kill it, did I? I mean, I don't throw that hard. I shifted my gaze and found, to my surprise, that the apple wasn't there. I bet it chocked on the apple. Stupid fuzzball. Swallowing one's food without properly chewing it is bad.

"You alright, Rebecca?" Vivi asked, yellow eyes glowing even more brightly with concern.

"I was almost dog food. Do I look fine to you?" I snapped and immediately regretted it. Vivi had hugged his staff in fear. With a sigh, I spoke in a weary tone, "Sorry. I'm just not used to getting attacked by weird monsters. I guess there's a reason why this place is called the Forest of Death."

"The Evil Forest." Zidane corrected.

I would love to kill you too. I thought and slapped my forehead. "Whatever."

"You're welcome," Zidane said and punched my arm. "Now let's go before more monsters come."

A/N: I know I kept saying that the next chapter won't come soon but then post the next chapter the next day anyway, but I'm serious this time when I say that Chapter Four will not be posted soon. Mostly because I have school tomorrow and a hundred stuff to do.

I can't really say if Rebecca was as funny in this chapter as she was in the last chapter. I think it was because I didn't have time to read Terry Pratchett which always improves my humor by quite a lot. Speaking of TP, I did mention him up there, didn't I? Yes, I'm a complete fan of his Discworld series. For those of you who don't know him, read his books now. They are that good.

Questions, comments, contradictions, objections and cups of hot steaming coffee thrown in perfect Godot-style are all welcome.

Additional disclaimer: I don't own the Forest of Death. That's Kishimoto's. I don't own Godot either.