Chapter Four

I took a step back and stared at it, my mouth moving up and down as I tried to say something that made sense. Sadly, my mouth only gave my attempt at sanity a fleeting glance because before I knew it, I was spouting nonsense that would make any grown man cry. "No man is an island. No man is a dessert either, unless he is about to be eaten by a dragon who has just had dinner. Overly excessive animal mutiny is bad. We are not tied down by the responsibility left to us by our ancestors but by the shoelaces which keep our feet inside our shoes."

It was corny. It wasn't at all insightful. It just made you want to cry. I clenched my sword with trembling hands and let out a sob. I could never forgive myself. Why oh why am I given a mouth with a personality of its own? It just wasn't fair.

"Scared?"

I sniffed and looked at Zidane, teary-eyed. "How come your mouth doesn't do weird things on you?"

"Because I haven't hit my head a couple of times?" He slowly asked as if by doing so, I would understand what he had just said. Which I did understand to my annoyance.

I turned my attention back to the large plant-like monster with petals of a blindingly pink color. A tear slid down my cheek as a result of feeling so down at the idea of a defective mouth and staring at the plant for more than five seconds. I rubbed it away and moved into what I hoped was a fighting position which would not let me fall on my bum at any given moment. "Deliverance is at hand!" I cried out as I dashed to the evil boss plant and immediately regretted not falling on my bum.

"Elp!!" I screamed, only vaguely aware that I had just said something which involved multiple exclamation marks and even the occasional question mark. If I actually had the luxury of paying attention to the number of both exclamation and question marks, I would have mentally banged my head against a sledgehammer for sounding like a newbie on a forum whose only reason for joining is to ask the one question that's already been answered several times. Considering my situation—which is basically being strangled by a killer vine—I don't think I even need the sledgehammer.

I felt heat near my face and struggled harder to get my neck out of the vine's grasp. I know Vivi means well but trying to burn the vine off will only result in a burnt face. Mine to be precise.

Relief washed over me as I dropped unsurprisingly on my bum. Caressing my neck, I gave Zidane a thankful grin and rose to my feet, ducking my head just in time to avoid a swipe from the plant's tentacles—I mean vines…whatever. This was of course, a Wrong Move. Having had a history of Wrong Moves, I should have known better than to do what I did which only gave me an aching neck. Actually, I should have known better than to get out of my bed this morning and go to school.

I groaned, my hand reaching for my neck once more. With eyes squinted, I fumbled across the ground, the sword the only thing in my mind. I knew I was being a pain right now but I still had to try. If I can't even kill my very first boss, then what use am I later on? I'd be dead weight and I just couldn't stand that.

My hand curled around the blade's hilt. Finally! I straightened and glared at the plant, murder on the top of my list of things to do. That much pink was a crime in itself. About to let out another feral cry, I felt someone grab me by my shoulder and drag me to the ground. "That is not how we do things around here." I looked up to meet Blank's stare which was pretty unnerving despite the fact that there are no eyes to look back at anyway.

"I'm sorry but I must have missed the tutorial. Do I have to press any special sort of buttons to defeat someone? Up, down, left, right, triangle, square, square, perhaps?" I asked sardonically. Hey, you'd be pissed too if your butt was aching from falling down several times!

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind," I grumbled as I pushed myself off the ground once more. "My mouth is having trouble cooperating with my brain. Just ask Zidane."

"Do you think you can carry the princess?"

The question threw me off balance. Literally. "Huh? What? Huh?"

"It's a simple question," Blank said patiently, his attention directed to the other three who were making a better attempt at exterminating the plant than I was. "Can you or can you not?"

"I think I can," I admitted. "But I can't go far, lugging her about."

"Good," Blank said and took a step back to avoid a pair of vines that was flung his way. "Because I'm thinking of blowing it up."

"Right then," I said. Clearly, this man's sanity was even in worse shape than mine. "Shall I go get and her?"

"Yes." Crawling along the plant's many roots, I made a mental note not to anger Blank in the future. He might try to blow me up, after all. Or worse, he'll try to question my usually infallible logic again. If someone brings up the dreaded topic of where I actually came from…

The princess's limp body just laid ahead, ready to be picked up by some knight in shining armor. The image of Steiner in his rusty armor doing just that made me grin. The image of me in a ratty jacket and a pair of worn jeans doing just that replaced the grin with a grimace. Well as long as there's no kissing involved…

I grabbed a piece of the plant's root and hauled myself up. That's when I realized that I had dropped my sword. Gaah. Where has the world gone to now? Or specifically, where has my sword gone to now? No time to ponder. With both hands on the wiggly enemy vine, I yanked with all my might. Nothing happened. "Knife!" I shouted to Zidane, slipping my nose underneath my shirt as the plant boss farted Pollen on me.

One of his daggers landed with a twang, blade down, on the ground. I took a moment to contemplate on how a particular component of an object affects the sound it makes as it hits the ground, shoved it back in my UIC—Useless Ideas Closet—and grabbed the blade, shouting a quick thanks to Zidane who had picked up my sword and was using it a lot more effectively than I was earlier. The shout was muffled by the fact that half my face was hiding underneath my shirt but the plant was still spouting Pollen and I didn't want to sneeze or choke on the thing.

With the last of the vines gone, I stuffed Zidane's dagger on my belt and slipped my arms beneath the princess's body. Bracing myself, I grunted as I picked her off the plant-like pedestal and ran as fast as I could—without tripping—to the others.

The next thing I knew, we were outside the cave, running for our lives as the familiar sound of an explosion bid us good bye. Steiner was now carrying the princess which was fine by me. I'm no muscle man after all and my legs were already starting to hurt from jogging along the forest. Behind us, I could hear the scuttling of inhuman footsteps. Oh no. What wants to eat us now?

I didn't dare take a peek as I was too busy making my legs work. Zidane did though and boy did he gasp. That could either mean two things: there's a multitude of monsters coming after us or he was simply out of breath. I'd choose the latter any day but I knew in my heart of hearts and my stomach of stomachs—both which were doing acrobatic stunts with the finesse of a clown on the tightrope—that it was not why Zidane had gasped. He was in good shape after all, unlike a certain someone.

You'll have to forgive me—whoever you are—because the next few events were a blur in my memories and I can't really quite tell you what happened word by word. Actually, the only thing that I could remember was shouting the words, "Advance to the rear! Advance to the rear!" It was a total rip off from some movie I've never watched in my life but did have a sort of desperate tone to it which was just what I needed to motivate my legs.

Finally, I stumbled to the exit—or entrance, depending on the situation—and fell on the grassy floor with a satisfying thud. I took a moment to appreciate the bliss before standing up again and dusting off the dirt from my clothes.

"Ehhh!" A mouthful of grass. Back pain. Bruised knees. Major headache. Oh great. I felt like I've been trampled by a bunch of tiptoeing elephants in tutus. I spat out the grass and was about to make a snide remark when I saw the pained expression on Zidane's face. Fine. I'll forgive you for landing on top of me. But only because you look like you're constipated.

"Damnit, Blank," Zidane murmured, his fists against the stone-turned vines. "Why the heck did you have to play hero? I asked you to look after them. I didn't ask you to save me."

Creepy Guy isn't with us? I gulped and felt a shiver run through my spine. It wasn't my fault was it? I mean, I just wanted his big mouth shut about the whole issue with my sudden appearance. I didn't want his mouth permanently shut by some kind of stone-turning disease. Quick! Grab an axe. Or better yet, let's bulldoze this joint.

"We better set camp," Monkey boy sighed, his shoulders drooping. "There's no point staying here."

Wrong answer! Let me at 'em—

"Rebecca?"

"Yes, Vivi?"

"Your face is scaring me."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Vivi." A pause. "Is this better?"

"A bit."

I didn't follow them, staring instead at the forest before me. I wasn't brooding mind. I just needed…to take a deep breath and let it all out. Tears swelled near my eyes and my throat felt like there was something hard shoved into it. This wasn't funny anymore. I should have remembered this. I should have done something to stop it from happening. Sure, Blank was a nuisance but the thought of a human being trapped in a timeless world of rock and stone…it just wasn't right.

Eventually I found my way in the campsite, my body now shaking from the bitter wind. I may have a jacket with me—as well as numerous fat cells—but I'm still pretty sensitive to the cold. I sat with a plop besides Steiner and ignored the snores coming from the tent. "Still awake?" I asked, trying to sound as cheerful as ever.

"I have promised the princess that I will guard this place while she rests," Steiner said, his eyes sagging already.

"Well you don't have to stand guard here all night," I pointed out. "What if you fall asleep, sir? It wouldn't do all of us any good."

"What are you trying to suggest, child? That I am incapable of carrying out my promise?" Steiner's face turned into an enraged red.

I shook my head quickly and spoke in an injured I-would-never-imply-such-a-thing voice, "No, sir! I was actually thinking of helping you in some way. I could get some sleep and switch places with you after a couple of hours so you wouldn't feel so tired tomorrow when we travel. If not, I could also accompany you for the rest of the night in case a bunch of fiends suddenly pop outta nowhere and you're too busy crying out for help. I'm particularly good at screaming, sir, and I can easily alert the others while you keep the monsters at bay."

Steiner gave me a gentle smile—which was odd coming from the man—and replied, "It's alright, Rebecca. I can hold the fort tonight, no need to worry. I am grateful for your offer but a young lady such as yourself should sleep as much as she can."

Hmph. He must be secretly harboring thoughts of my insanity and how I need to go get some sleep to stop it or something. "Captain Steiner?"

"Yes?"

Here goes nothing. "Would it be alright if you train me in the art of sword fighting? Only, I don't want to constantly bring the group down by not being much of a help so I was hoping you could give me some basics, you know."

Steiner's face brightened in the gloom. "I would love to teach you, my dear. You just wait and see! I'll turn you into the perfect soldier." Oh no. "You'll have to change into something more appropriate first but that can be easily fixed once we arrive at one of the villages." Stinky armor, just what I need. "And there's your training regime to think about as well! I believe some running should be done to get you into shape first and then—"

What the heck did I get myself into this time?!

A bell tolled in the distance. A festival started. And a young man woke up to a bright sunny day which would eventually lead to an epic string of events that will change the course of Time and the world forever. He had no idea of that whatsoever, of course.

Elsewhere, a young girl woke up and discovered that she wasn't in bed where she should be. She had short black hair cut just a few inches past her earlobes and a pair of humorous dark brown eyes. Stretching her arms, she yawned and wondered if she still had to go to school.

High above—no, higher than that I'm afraid—two figures stood in a spaceless, timeless world where words were even more powerful than life itself. Beneath them, the game-world buzzed with activity.

"Why did you make me choose this particular game?" The taller of the two asked, the rough baritone clearly indicating his male gender.

"Well it doesn't need a lot of energy to power." The other answered; her child-like voice carried a cherubic quality which made any angels listening in cry with envy. That is, if angels were allowed to be envious. "That means we get to give our Expendable one of the best SAs in the list, don't ya think?"

"But this game is longer than the average kind, Miss Jane. Surely—"

"Doesn't really matter, Primus." The young girl chirped. "A little birdy told me that the rules have been changed."

"They have, Miss Jane?"

"Mother thinks the Game needs a little more juice—it wasn't as fun as it used to be—so she tweaked the rules a bit. The Expendable doesn't have to finish the game anymore."

"And where's the fun in that?"

"Elimination through combat." Sharp teeth glinted beneath bright crimson orbs which glowed in the darkness, sparkling with excitement. "There will only be one winner this year."

Primus raised an eyebrow in question. Shrouded in a black shadow-like cloak, his face was the only part visible. "So we're allowed to go to other worlds and destroy their Expendables?"

"Nope! But our own Expendables can." Jane purred dreamily. "Just imagine the possibilities, Primus. Just imagine how much we can gain from winning this."

"Begging your pardon, Miss Jane, but I didn't know secondary powers would get something from the Game."

"Who needs an upgrade, Primus? I mean, yeah, you're a PS1 and you need it but I'm from the Seventh generation. As far as I know, we're the latest models so I really don't need anything." Jane explained in her best teacher voice, bouncing up and down as she did so. "What I can gain from this is respect from the Society. With the decreasing quality of the game-worlds we've created over the recent years, the Game was made to ensure a constant stream of inspiration for the Developers. If we pull this off, everyone will be talking about our victory for years."

"I guess I sort of get that but what makes our victory different from the past victories? We've been doing this for years, Miss Jane. I know I agreed to join the Game for you but I still don't get why you're so excited about winning."

"It's all about the style, Primus. If we make a good enough show, it'll go done in history. Trust me."

"You know I do."

Jane looked up at her burly companion, a toothy grin in her face. "Well that's good to know. I was afraid I'd have to kill you once this Game was over. Maybe I actually don't have to this time."

A/N: First of all, Rebecca doesn't really know the FF9 world that well. If she did, she would know that the Pollen causes blindness which can be cured with an Eye Drop.

Secondly, the last bit was just a glimpse of what is to come. There's no need to worry about all of the new characters swamping in and taking over.

Thirdly, there's no need to know any other world besides FF9. Yes, there will be mention of other PS games but they'll only be mentioned. Rebecca isn't going to any other game-worlds any time soon. Speaking of which, a salute to anyone who can guess which game our new Expendable has been brought into. Here's a hint: it's also a SNES game which was remade for the PS.

Questions, comments, suggestions, sanity, singularities (a.k.a. one-liners), and spam are all welcome but the last three will be ignored or reported due to their questionable credibility.

Thanks to my little sister for beta-reading this!