Hey readers. I'd like to start off by saying thank you to Anna for consistently leaving reviews on each chapter (so far ;]) Reviews let me know if my story is being read and inspire me to continue at a faster pace. To be honest, I pretty much start a new chapter whenever I get a review. So if you want me to write more, you have to write more! I also take what you guys say to heart although sometimes I may have a plan in my mind that will later answer questions, so be patient. This chapter's title comes from the song We've Only Just Begun by Run Kid Run. It isn't my favorite, but the title gets the job done :]
Just let it take you where you want to go
Just let it tell you what you want to know
Lily
I took a seat without really meaning to do so. James Potter. James Potter was Head Boy. Not Remus Lupin, or even that Hufflepuff prefect Diggory. James wasn't even a prefect, he was quidditch captain. And while I had to admit it was a position of authority, it wasn't nearly in the same genre as being a prefect. Could James really handle enforcing the school rules when in reality he was the one who took great pleasure in breaking those same rules? I shook my head and returned to reality. I had always trusted Dumbledore's judgement; There was no reason I couldn't do the same now.
Catherine, a good friend of mine looked over the top of her magazine, her hazel eyes right over the title "Witch Weekly" which flashed a rather bright shade of turquoise. "Are you okay now?" she asked licking her index finger and flipping the page. I blinked once more and smiled, a little unsure.
"Yeah, yeah I'm great. Perfect in fact." I shot her a rather forced smile and settled comfortably in my seat. For about 5 seconds. "Oh my god, the meeting! I have to address everyone in the prefects carriage." I jumped up and smoothed down my robes. "I'll see you later Cath, alright?" She waved me on and I stepped into the aisle of the train.
I made my way towards the front of the train passing numerous compartments with people I recognized including (I grimaced) the Carrow twins sitting with Avery and Sirius' younger brother Regulus; I spotted Davey Gudgeon, that loud Hufflepuff boy talking animatedly to a girl I recognized to be Eleanor Owens, Tonks' friend. She looked rather uncomfortable although she gave him a polite smile.
I smiled to myself as I continued up the train coming to stop as a door swung open in the compartment behind me. I turned only to see James stepping out and begin to make his way to right where I stood. His eyes were averted to the floor until he came with a few feet of me. He looked up quickly and his eyes widened. "Hey Lily," he smiled and stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants. "I was...er...just heading to the prefect carriage. Want to walk with me?"
I looked at him somewhat skeptical, caught off guard by his politeness. Why did he seem nervous? James wasn't ever the least bit nervous and it threw me off slightly. "Um, well actually I..." I glanced around desperate for an excuse. I really needed some time away from James after the little shock of the day. However, it didn't seem likely now that we were both Heads. "I'll uh, meet you there in 5 minutes...I have to go meet someone." I had no idea who exactly it was I was meeting but I knew I would find someone...eventually.
Just then I heard the door slide open again and I looked over only to see Sirius Black and Tonks peering out from the compartment. Sirius looked the same as he had last year pretty much, but Tonks had changed her hair. She looked older, shooting me a wide grin as I looked at her. I smiled back and said quickly to them all, "Well I must be off, see you later!" I turned only to feel someone grab hold of my wrist.
"Hey, hey not so fast Evans! You just got here," Sirius smiled that stupid grin as I looked back, my eyebrows raised. "How was your summer?"
"Fine," I replied shortly.
It had not been fine. Despite the good news of my being made Head Girl, home life which had once been so joyous got worse with each passing summer. My sister Tuney....that is, Petunia, had once simply sulked and shot me looks from across the table. Now she had become a full-fledged monster ridiculing me every time we were alone under her breath. I hated that. I would almost prefer it if she called me a freak to my face, loud and clear. At least that was honest and braver in a way. She had once been my best friend, but over the years competition had won out. I could not think about that too much though-It was hard enough living it, let alone thinking about it.
I must have looked upset because James was eyeing me worriedly. "Are you... okay?"
I waved him off. "Yeah, I'm great! Well, I'll see you guys at Hogwarts. I have things... to do," I turned my back on them and walked briskly up to the front until I could no longer hear their voices behind me quite as much. I passed another compartment just as someone was exiting it...resulting in us bumping together.
"Oof," we both said stumbling into the walls that were shaking with the speed of the train. I regained my balance fairly quickly and looked over to see Severus Snape clutching the handle of the door for support.
"Sev!" I cried and smiled. I reached over to hug him and pulled away quickly to look at him. "How are you? I've missed you!" He was one of my closest friends and although we lived pretty close to one another, I hadn't seen him at all. I suspected he had been holed up in his room not unlike myself. We both had...family issues.
He smiled in a way that I only really saw when I was with him. Whenever I spotted him by himself or with fellow Slytherins he looked unhappy or menacing even. His eyes came to rest on the Head Girl badge pinned to the front of my robes. "Congratulations Lily," he said in his low voice, "Although Dumbledore had to make you Head Girl, no one else would have been nearly as qualified."
I beamed at him. "Oh well, thanks. I certainly was excited." Sev picked up on the key word.
"Was?" he asked slowly. My smiled faltered slightly and again I felt that inexplicable nervousness.
I licked my lips and glanced around distracted. "Dumbledore..made James Head Boy." I didn't dare look at Severus.
It was eerily quiet except for the sounds of the train and people talking, their voices muted behind closed doors. I stole a glance back at Severus who had gone very white and seemed to be clenching his jaw. I eyed him closely. "What. Is Dumbledore. Thinking." he snarled more to himself than to me. He began pacing and looked out the window, landscape flashing by. "Does he really expect Potter to be fair in his judgement? We all know he's going to let Sirius off the hook every time that git does something against the rules." He was glaring out at the scenery as if expecting it to speak back in defense of James.
I shrugged in a helpless manner. "Maybe...but Dumbledore always has a good reason for everything."
"Normally Lily, I'd agree but this is just too ridiculous." he was still grimacing. I checked my watch and cringed.
"Ugh, I have to go. I bet I'm already late; what a great way to start!" I began to walk back but then turned to shout to him, "I'll meet you soon alright! After classes tomorrow?" I couldn't even wait for a response. Without another word, I sprinted down the aisle towards the prefects carriage which I could hear, was already full.
As I entered the compartment slowly, trying not to make a scene I could hear James up in front addressing everyone. "...And just, er, if you have an issue covering your patrolling shift come talk to me or Lily and..." he looked up and spied me. "Oh, there she is now." He motioned over to where I stood and immediately everyone turned to stare at me. I felt my cheeks burn in shame at being the last one to arrive. Not exactly the impression I had been going for.
I walked quickly over to where James was and stood next to him, facing all. "As I was saying--" he started in again and I interrupted. "I'm so sorry I'm late everyone, please excuse me. I had..um, business to attend to." I straightened my robes and began to speak. "But yes as James said, just come talk to one of us and I'm sure we can find another prefect more than willing to trade. Compromises are allowed." I pulled out a small scrap of paper I had written on earlier in the summer after receiving my letter. It detailed everything Dumbledore had asked me to address. "Also, there will be an earlier curfew this year so don't let any of the students try to convince you that they didn't know. More details will be discussed at the welcome back feast."
I looked up at them all and continued, "In addition, a winter formal will be held in mid December." At this most, if not all the girls in the room gasped in excitement and looked at each other. I couldn't say as much for the boys. Even James looked slightly pained and he was usually up for any kind of social event. "Most of the teachers will be decorating but if you have a special talent for Charms let Professor Flitwick know. I know they'd appreciate the help. Again, I'll give out more details as the date nears. But for now, carry on with your patrols and remember that we're role models." I heard a snort from the back and saw Amos Diggory looking at James skeptically. James narrowed his eyes and I spoke faster to prevent any kind of scuffle.
"We'll all have a great year. Thank you and have a nice evening!" Immediately everyone started talking and gathering their things. I saw Remus walk up to James in his casual manner.
"Not bad Prongs, I almost believed that you wanted to follow the rules this year," he grinned and dodged James' hand easily as he tried to hit him on the shoulder.
James scowled. "I wish everyone would lay off; it's not like I asked for this job. I'm doing the best I can!" He glared over in Diggory's direction. Remus laughed and patted him on the shoulder.
"Don't worry about it. We all know Diggory's still sore that he wasn't given your position. Not to mention last year's quidditch match." they both chuckled. James looked over in my direction and saw that I was lingering nearby.
"Hey," he said approaching me. I stuffed the paper I had been holding in my pocket quickly as if that was all I needed to do before leaving.
"Hi," I said not meeting his eyes. I tucked a red lock of hair behind my ear distractedly. I searched outside as if I was looking for someone just so I wouldn't have to look right at James.
Remus made to leave and said to James, "I'll meet you in a few," he smiled knowingly and exited. I blushed and cursed Remus for leaving me alone, nice as he was.
Oh no you don't, I thought and walked out of the room just as I felt the train slowing down. "Wait," I heard James say from right behind me and I closed my eyes. He just wouldn't let me be, would he?
"Yes?" I said somewhat curtly and just decided to stay where I was. He would follow me anyways and we would be getting off the train soon.
"I just...wanted to say congratulations. I don't think I got to before really." What was with him? It would be so much easier if he were still just as immature as he had been two years ago. I had to admit, even last year he had gotten better.
"Thanks, that's...nice of you." He blinked and beamed brightly. I gave him a quick smile and then turned around just as the doors to all the compartments opened. We had come to a complete stop right outside the little village of Hogsmeade. I went down the steps quickly ahead of all the other students so I could lead them; I heard James right behind me as usual. I sighed, guessing I would just have to get used to it.
The village of Hogsmeade was deathly quiet as dusk settled over the town. Dim streetlights lined the deserted roads and the cool autumn air hugged my body. My eyes swept over the area and came to rest on a huge looming figure carrying a lantern in his right hand. I heard a few first years gasp in wonder and I smiled, approaching the giant shape. "Hello Hagrid," I said looking at the gamekeeper.
He smiled down at me, his eyes crinkling at the sides. "Well 'Ello Lily. Have a nice holiday?" he said in his gruff voice.
"Wonderful," I replied, and then turned to the first years. "Alright, you lot are going to go with Hagrid here in these boats." I waved my hand over to where they all were, bobbing in the black lake. The younger students all looked both frightened and apprehensive. I nodded my head towards Hagrid. "He'll take it from here. Good luck!" I waved to the group in front of me and made my way down to where the horseless carriages were waiting for the returning students. I glanced back to see James guiding a confused first year over to where the rest of them stood. I widened my eyes in surprised. Maybe Dumbledore knew what he was doing....Odd, I thought shaking my head and continuing forward.
I barely noticed a pack of seventh year Slytherins congregating next to the train until I had past them. "Filthy mudblood!" I heard one of them hiss.
I turned back only to come face to face with the Carrows, Avery, and some jerk named Mulciber. I opened my mouth about to retort that after uttering an offensive term they had earned themselves detention their first week back. However right then James swooped out of nowhere and took hold of my arm, standing between myself and the others.
He narrowed his eyes menacingly at the all four of them and retorted, "You guys look a little lost. A bit confused now that your head git Malfoy is no longer here?" They looked at him in digust but said nothing. "Shame. I'm not sure how you're going to cope. Come on Lily." He pulled me behind him which I allowed for a good ten feet before wriggling out of his grip.
"Let go of me James!" He immediately did so and looked slightly shamed, his defiant look gone.
"I'm sorry, I just---I was trying to help!" he held up his hands.
I brushed my hair out of my eyes and frowned. "Well I can handle myself thank you. I was doing just fine." I kept walking and didn't hear him follow.
Suddenly I heard him right next to me and he sounded....angry? "Can I ask you something?" he said looking at me with blazing eyes.
"What?" I said, my bravado dissipating a bit. His tone of voice had caught me off guard. I had never heard him speak this way to me.
He opened his mouth to speak and just then we heard laughing up ahead.
"Prongs! What are you doing? Come on we're gonna be late!" Sirius, Remus, Tonks, and Peter were up ahead laughing. I noticed that they all were observing myself and James with different expressions: Sirius was grinning at James mischieviously while Tonks and Remus were smiling contently. Peter was appraising James in admiration. I suddenly felt like a spotlight was shining brightly on me.
We both approached them looking perturbed by our "exchange" although we hadn't really gotten to say much at all. Tonks hopped up into the carriage and plopped down on a seat.
"Well come on!" Sirius followed behind along with Remus and Peter. James hadn't moved.
"Well um..." I turned around to see a very empty platform and bit my lip. "Well I was supposed to wait for Cath and the others." I didn't feel like mentioning Severus' name to this lot. I knew they would immediately start in on him and after everything, I didn't think I'd be able to take it.
"Oh, they went on ahead already," Tonks said in an apologetic tone.
"Besides, I think this is the last carriage Lily. You might as well," Remus said holding out his hand for me to take. I obliged lifting myself up to the top and turned to look back down at James. He looked as if he was trying very hard not to say anything. He jumped up and took a seat next to Peter without another word and we were off.
The rickety ride had us all bouncing in our seats. Tonks almost sprawled into the middle of the carriage after going over a particular deep pothole but Sirius took hold of her shoulder.
"Thanks," she muttered and then looked to the rest of us. "Hey guys, I meant to show you this at the station but I was paranoid my mum was still lurking around. Check it out." She screwed up her eyes in concentration and in another moment her light brown hair was a deep shade of violet. It made her eyes pop out even more.
Everyone murmured in approval and Sirius slapped his hand on his knee. "Man that's dead useful. Prongs do you have any idea how handy this will be to us this year? Tonks has the ability to turn herself into anyone...Professor McGonagall even!"
"No way!" cried Tonks.
"Yeah Sirius, don't take advantage of your cousin like that," Remus commented.
James shrugged. "I don't know Padfoot..." I thought I saw him glance swiftly at me in the corner of my eye. I kept my face neutral pretending like I didn't see or hear him.
We went over another large ditch in the road and were all jostled momentarily. "Do any of you know who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is going to be?" Peter asked anxiously and looked around at everyone.
"No idea," I replied and the rest shook their heads as well.
"I heard this rumor it was a vampire," Tonks said wrinkling her nose in disbelief.
Sirius burst out laughing. "Who said that?"
"Cath heard it from some Hufflepuff, I don't even know," she said waving the thought away. "All I know is it better be someone with a little more joy than Professor Podmore. I love Defense, but he had me bored to tears."
"Well I guess we'll find out soon enough," replied James nodding to the castle that was now looming over us as we pulled up. We were all silent for a moment, glad to be back home I think. Well I was. Maybe the rest were just hungry or tired. The carriage came to a complete stop and I was the first to step off followed by Tonks.
"Hi," she said brightly walking next to me, the boys lingering behind us to talk. I saw James whisper something to Sirius looking stern and then looked over at me. I turned away from them and smiled back at Tonks, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a quick side hug. "Hi, how are you?" I bit my lip. "Sorry I haven't talked to you yet, things have already been so crazy and the school year hasn't even started." She smiled serenely.
"Don't worry about it Lily, I understand." She was so mellow, it was a nice vacation almost from Cath who could be so exuberant at times. "Besides, Head Girl, wow. That's a lot of responsibility."
"I know," I replied sighing. I was already exhausted from it all. Excited still yes, but exhausted. I was quiet for a second but my ears perked up when I heard the guys talking.
"....Said there were two more disappearances including that Macdonald girl's father," I heard James saying quietly to the others.
"Mary?" Sirius said sounding upset. "That's...terrible."
I whipped around to face them and spoke up. "Do you mean what the Daily Prophet said in its last issue?" They nodded solemnly. I looked glumly back at all four of them. "I heard that too. You don't think--?"
"We're not likely to find out now. We should just keep heading to the Great Hall. Maybe Dumbledore will explain more," Remus said coming to walk next to myself and Tonks. The six of us trudged up the path until we heard the sounds of dining students; silverware tinkling as it hit plates and chattering voices of all ages. We picked up our pace, hurrying through the Entrance Hall which was shining bright as ever and into the Great Hall.
No one noticed our entrance except for a few students I saw look our way including Eleanor and Cath who smiled broadly from the Ravenclaw table and Severus, who observed me with dark eyes entering with James and the others, from the Slytherin side.
We all hurried down to the Gryffindor table where an empty space had been left luckily. I sat down across from Remus, Peter, and Sirius quickly; James and Tonks took a seat on either side of me. "Oh, we missed the sorting," Tonks said disappointed.
"Forget sorting, give me food!" he said and immediately the plates in front of us were filled with with an assortment of meats and vegetables. We all looked at each other in astonishment.
"Nice work Padfoot," Remus said approvingly and we all began to feast on the meal in front of us. Nearly Headless Nick floated over to where we were seated and looked suspiciously at us all.
"Nice of you to finally join us," he said hovering right in the middle of our table immediately making our food cold. We all groaned simultaneously.
"Nick! D'ya mind?" Sirius said, his mouth full. I was strongly reminded of Petunia's boyfriend who had come over for dinner this past summer. He too had surprised me by leaving the table when he was done eating everything else in sight.
"So sorry for interrupting your lively habits but I'll have you know that Dumbledore is going to give an important notice and you could have very well missed it!" Sirius rolled his eyes over to me and Tonks who had to keep from laughing by ducking her head down into her mashed potatoes.
"Thanks so much Nick but I'm kind of here to get away from my mum; I don't need you playing the role for me," James said earning him a few laughs from students nearby listening in. He grinned over at them and I found it was easier to remember him as he was in his fifth year. Looking over to confirm his cleverness at everyone else. It drove me mad. I rolled my eyes noticeably and took another bite of turkey.
"Ahem," we heard Dumbledore clear his throat at the head of the magnificent hall and everyone was immediately silent, watching him closely. He smiled at us, his blue eyes sparkling down at everyone. He lifted his hands in a welcoming gesture and began to speak. "Welcome new and old students. I am so pleased to have you all back here at Hogwarts starting another term. As we do every year, Quidditch try outs will be held within a few weeks of school starting back up. You can go to the Quidditch captain of each house for more details." His smile disappeared slightly as he continued. "On a much more serious note, I'd like to announce that this year, the curfew will be an hour earlier---" Students all began speaking at once in hushed tones.
Remus turned to look back at us in a 'see?' sort of way, shrugging his shoulders. I looked back to Dumbledore waiting for him to elaborate, sure that he would. Although truth be told, we all had a feeling we knew what this was about.
As the talking died down Dumbledore continued with his speech, "---This is due to higher security at Hogwarts. I'm sure many of you have been reading the Daily Prophet this summer and we as a school are going to take the necessary precautions. There is nothing to fear here at Hogwarts, we are merely appeasing parents." He smiled again. "However, for the third years and up I urge you to take great precautions when off the grounds." He cleared his throat and turned to look at the table of teachers behind him. Stepping down from his podium he gestured to the man sitting to McGonagall's left.
"I'd like you to help me in welcoming Professor Gideon Prewett as this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," the man stood up and everyone clapped politely. He was medium height with red hair a similar color to mine. He smiled charmingly and nodded before sitting down again.
"He looks quite young," I said as I clapped and Tonks nodded in agreement.
Dumbledore placed a hand on the front of his chest and said, "It is with great sorrow that I announce to you all that Professor Binns, our History of Magic teacher, died in his sleep this past June." Everyone looked around at each other, their faces blank. As sad as it was to hear that a former professor of mine was gone I was glad he hadn't become one of the mysterious disappearances that kept showing up in our papers. Plus, he had been pretty old...I could only hope to die the same way.
"His replacement will be the father of one of our former Head Boys, Mr. Abraxas Malfoy." Dumbledore clapped although not, I noticed, as enthusiastic as he had with Prewett. The Slytherin table clapped twice as hard as they had before while the rest of us clapped out of obligation, shooting each other looks as we did so. I looked to my right to see James shaking his head at the other three boys who looked rather fierce.
"Oh man," I heard Tonks say quietly beside me.
Dumbledore did not have to wait long; most of the clapping ended abruptly. I observed "Professor" Malfoy with what I hoped were unbiased eyes. He was extremely tall, his white blonde hair smoothed back and he gazed at us all with piercing grey eyes and a facial expression I could only describe as a sneer. He sat back down next to Professor Sinistra and looked away, bored already. I wondered why he would have ever taken this job...he didn't exactly look like the kid-friendly type.
"To end on a happy note, I'd like to congratulate this year's Head Boy and Girl, Mr. James Potter and Ms. Lily Evans, respectively," he said and a few students chuckled. The Gryffindor table burst into a loud round of applause and a few whistles, much louder than the rest of the school. We looked to each other and after a moment's hesitation stood up and smiled at everyone. I caught Severus' expression although he raised his hands and clapped, indicating it was only to me. I shot him a smile and sat back down quickly, cheeks flushing.
"Whoo hoo!" Tonks cried grabbing my shoulders and shaking them. Remus, Sirius, and Peter all took their turn patting James on the back a few times.
"You are dismissed. I hope you all have a most amazing night's sleep," Dumbledore smiled and we all rose out of our seats, the Great Hall once more very loud.
I stood up on one of the benches so the Gryffindors could all see me; I was shorter than I was willing to admit. "First years come with us," I said pointing to myself and James who's expression brightened at the term us.
We filed out of the Great Hall, James by my side and the rest of our friends behind. We managed to all fit somehow onto a moving staircase which brought us up to our floor. I noticed a first year leaning too far over the edge and Remus immediately pulled him back. "Whoa there, careful. That would be bad," he said smiling a little. The young boy looked up at his enormous height in awe,his mouth gaping open and Tonks chuckled.
The staircase had come to a stop and everyone clambered to get off. The four boys followed behind me and Tonks made to do the same but was halted. "Ugh," she grunted looking down and realizing her foot had sunk into the sinking step. "Of course," she said so expectantly I had to smile. Sirius and Remus both took hold of each arm and pulled her out as if they had done it several times, which honestly wouldn't have surprised me.
We finally made it to the Fat Lady's portrait and I gave her the password, loud for all the students to hear. "Starlight," I said confidently and the portrait hole swung open. Everyone pushed their way through and I felt my heart soar as my eyes came to rest on the familiar scarlet room.
I took a deep breath, relaxing at last. This was where I belonged, I thought to myself taking a seat in a sofa by the fire. Most all the students had jogged up to the dormitories, eager to collapse into the comfortable beds but the seventh years (and Tonks of course) lingered in the common room exchanging summer tales. It was a quiet night, everyone worn out from the long and exciting day back.
I saw Remus, Peter, and Sirius bid goodnight to James and head up to their rooms, Sirius flicking the back of Peter's head as he bounded up and the others following.
I closed my eyes, content at last for a few peaceful minutes when I realized it had become very quiet indeed. Opening my eyes, I looked around to see a deserted room; everyone must have retired to bed. I sat up and saw that not everyone had gone to bed. Of course James had stayed. He was looking at me rather peculiar, like he wanted to say something.
I let out a breath of air and stared right back at him. "Hey...James?" I asked. It sounded strange sometimes for me to not call him Potter but that habit had ceased last year. Besides, he didn't call me Evans anymore so it seemed like a fair trade.
"Yes?" he said sounding much quieter than normal.
I bit my bottom lip and looked at him as if I were trying to decipher some sort of code. "What were you going to say to me? Before we got on the carriage I mean." I wondered if he even remembered.
He blinked, apparently taken aback by this question. "Oh...er...it doesn't matter." He replied and all of a sudden seemed like he was in a hurry to get to bed. "Night Lily," he said before hopping up the stairs to the dormitories.
I stared up at him, very confused. "Night," I said deftly and made my way to my own bed.
As I collapsed into the scarlet sheets I looked out the window, the silver moon spilling light across the grounds. In the distance, the Forbidden Forest was still, with only the occasional hoot of an owl to lull me to sleep.