Title: The world is round
Fandom: Sanctuary
Characters: Henry Foss, Will Zimmerman, Helen Magnus, Ashley, Bigfoot
Rating: M, although there's nothing overly explicit. Okay, maybe a little bit, plus a few instances of strong or suggestive language.
Summary: Part 2 of New Beginnings, which follows my previous series set in the same verse: One door closes. This chapter is set during episode 9.
Warnings: This story has some obligatory angst (Blame the show's writers, not me! I didn't write the scene that led to this), some comfort, and a whole lot of SPOILERS. Please do NOT read if you haven't watched Episode 9.
This story is quite clearly Henry/Will slash, and happily so. If you're afraid of, or otherwise offended by, SLASH then; might I advise you to RUN, not walk, away as fast as your little underage, or otherwise insecure/bigoted legs can carry you? Thanks. That will be all. What? You're still here? Oh. Well, then. Have at it, if you will.
Notes: Sorry about the pseudo-cliffhanger. I have to decide where this scene is going to go before I post anything else. Enjoy!
Some of the dialogue is taken directly from the episode's script. If you've watched it, you know exactly where it ends and my own begins. Subtext added by the author's fiery imagination for all things slash. Complete phrases or sentences in italics represent character thoughts. Single words italicized for emphasis. Title based on the following quote:
The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.
Ivy Baker Priest
"Ahoy, mateys!" Henry's voice said over the speakers. Helen stared at him with a quizzical expression on her face, wondering where on Earth he'd come up with that ridiculous accent. She heard Will cracking up behind her and shook her head.
"It's because you're at sea," Henry explained, his face on the screen both awkward and more than a little tongue-in-cheek about it.
Helen sat back down, not missing the loopy boyish grin on Will's face as he gestured his amused approval at Henry.
"Henry, are you certain these are the proper coordinates?" Helen asked, all business. She was far from stupid, so the fact that her until recently nearly suicidal tech whiz and her slightly disengaged and overly serious psych person were both suddenly giddy and chummy with each other did not for a second escape her attention. She could put two and two together; it was only that she had not expected this development at all. She hated when she didn't see things coming. Helen was not a surprise loving kind of lass, not by any stretch of the imagination. While she certainly didn't mind, and she especially appreciated having Henry back in good spirits, she couldn't help but worry.
That train of thought was thoroughly derailed by the mention of so-called Sally, the mermaid. She just stared from one man to the other as they justified their nickname of the mermaid with more of that banter that spoke of private jokes and other asinine cahoots. Where her daughter Ashley might have interjected something crude along the lines of 'get a room, you two,' Helen simply returned the conversation to the business at hand. Besides, the way these two were acting, she wouldn't be surprised if one of them wouldn't just answer that they already had gotten a room, thank you very much.
Will's eyes positively sparkled when he looked at Henry, and Henry was just being twice the clown as he ever was. Obviously he was playing to an appreciative audience that Helen was sure it wasn't her.
"If you two are finished," Helen said, with finality. Sally, indeed.
The boys went on about the Bermuda Triangle until Helen had enough. Henry and Will both did their best not to look at each other while talking to her, but the moment she turned her back on either, they'd be sneaking glances and little private smiles. She cut the connection with Henry mid-ramble, which left Will giggling stupidly to himself.
She didn't mind this. She really didn't. It was just that they truly made her feel like she was a thousand years old instead of a hundred and change. Such playfulness between adult males in her era would have never happened. The word unseemly came to mind, as much as she tried to keep up with the times. Of course, their interaction was also quite adorable.
Will had tried to remain serious and businesslike in company, but Henry was just too damn funny when he wanted to be. He laughed softly at the man's enthusiasm, but he also felt a pang of guilt for being here with Helen. He knew how much Henry had wanted to be a part of this trip. He would had happily given up the adventure and let Henry come in his stead. Actually, he would have happily given his spot to anyone at all. He wasn't at all keen on being trapped for hours underwater in a glorified tin can. Will merely felt bad because of how eager Henry had been about the idea of being included on the mission, but Dr. Magnus was the boss, and she had decided she needed Will here.
He'd spent the night with Henry again last night, and watched him try not to pout because he hadn't been invited in the end. He'd done his best to make it up to Henry, though. Three times, he thought, still smiling. Seems to be Henry's magic number. He remembered the awkwardness before their first night together. All the harrowing ups and downs and arguments between them had worn both of them down after the snake creature incident. They'd confronted demons old and new, and ended up sharing something beautiful. He was kind of proud of that. I better get my head in the game before Magnus catches me daydreaming.
"You know, you got to admit it is kind of cool," Will started, launching a renewed effort to interest Helen in the mystique of the Bermuda Triangle, but she wasn't biting. Not even a little bit.
Both Helen and Will would be praying for sunken cities or time-traveling aliens before the day was through. Anything but what they actually encountered.
The mission took a gory turn only a few minutes later, and things only grew from bad to worse from there. When it was all over, Will just sat in a corner, pale as a ghost. Helen gave up trying to converse with him. She took every opportunity to walk by and watch him, and she even asked if he was okay a few times. Will would unfailingly paste on a cordial smile that didn't reach his eyes and say he was fine, just exhausted. He even joked about playing hooky for the next adventure, and something about never touching fish again.
In the meantime, he waited numbly for the slow decompression of ascent to finish so that they could disembark in the San Juan bay and from there drive to the airport to fly back home.
By the time Will Zimmerman and Helen Magnus finally made it back to the Sanctuary Will's practiced, mild, toothless smile was firmly pasted on. Helen herself was pensive and quiet. Only when the car stopped at its final destination, did she address Will again.
"Will?" she asked, the question all-encompassing in its simplicity.
"I'm... It's gonna be okay, Magnus. I'm just a little shell-shocked. I just need a good night's sleep," Will replied, trying to convince himself more than Helen.
He could see that she didn't buy it, but she respected him enough to let it go for now. She nodded, her eyes concerned, and opened the door to the car. The sounds of arguing could be clearly heard. More exactly, Henry's voice, up in arms about something.
"I told you I was coming with you to meet them at the airport! You had no right to just take off like that!" Henry spat through gritted teeth. The only thing missing was the spittle flying from his figurative foaming at the mouth.
Bigfoot grunted knowingly. "You were needed here," he said wisely.
"No! This is why I installed all this unforgivably expensive state of the art security system; so that I wouldn't have to mind it every damn second of my life."
"Henry, what is the meaning of this?" Helen asked, perplexed. She looked around for an explanation, but Bigfoot was patiently staring back at Henry, and Ashley was unhelpfully rolling her eyes. Will had stepped out of the car and walked around the back past the trunk, steeling himself for company he wasn't ready for. Right now all he needed was some alone time to properly collapse after such a heinous day. Henry's face whipped to face Magnus.
"Are you guys alright?" The question was addressed to Helen, but Henry's eyes had long moved past her and fixated on a very guarded Will.
"They're fine, Henry. Unclench, please," Ashley said, abrasive as ever.
"I should have come along to bring you home," Henry continued, throwing an accusing glare at Bigfoot, who had already walked away to get the bags and equipment from the trunk. Ashley went to help him.
"We're okay, Henry," Will answered in his calmest voice, still wearing that plastic smile.
"We can have a debriefing tomorrow, after we're properly rested. Besides, I still have several more tests to run and catalog before I can answer any questions with certainty," Helen offered. "Henry, I'm going to need your expertise. We must procure secure containment for the parasite's remains. We have no idea of knowing if it can survive being frozen solid."
"Yeah, okay," Henry said automatically, but he wasn't listening. Will had been inching his way towards the door, aching to be inside and away from people. Henry walked up to him, eyes wide with concern, and touched his arm. "Are you sure you're alright? You smell... all over the place," he told Will softly.
Magnus tilted her head and followed Henry with her gaze. She began to wonder if this budding - whatever it was - would end up becoming a problem for them all. Her main priority was to keep a viable and effective working environment. She had managed to do so with varying degrees of success in the past and, as always, she was ever weighing her crew's interpersonal interactions against the needs of the Sanctuary. This obvious affective turmoil would have to be handled delicately.
"It's okay, Henry. I'm okay," Will replied.
"No, you're not," Henry insisted in a whisper, supposedly for Will's ears only. He sniffed the air, taking in the dried up fear sweat, the adrenalin, the tears. Will was a cocktail of distress signals, and every instinct in Henry was raging to protect Will. He wanted nothing more than to take the man to his den where he'd be safe."You're shivering," he observed.
Will indeed was. He had been shivering intermittently since a "possessed" Magnus had forced him into ice cold sea water earlier. "I'm still a bit cold, that's all." Compounding the bone-deep chill he could still feel like a bad memory, there was all the tension and grief he was holding inside. He needed to get away soon. He must not lose his marbles in present company, not when Magnus was grooming him to take over one day. Having a nervous breakdown now would hardly inspire confidence in his capabilities.
Bigfoot sensed Will discomfort. He grabbed Henry's shoulder, intending to pull him away. "Leave them be, Henry. They've been through enough."
Henry shot a decidedly inhuman growl Bigfoot's way, his eyes gleaming a golden jade. He was quite upset, and had been for hours.
He had been at wit's end when they had lost the Nautilus' signal. When they finally got communications back, his relief was short lived. The sparse account Magnus had given of their underwater ordeal and the fact that Will was nowhere to be seen in the transmission had been a bad enough sign; but upon hearing they had nearly lost their lives Henry had become a nervous wreck. Henry simply didn't believe Magnus when she informed him that Will was supposedly in the back, resting, and she didn't have the heart to bother him. He had instead entertained every worst case scenario possible. His visions of a maimed Will were still quite fresh in his mind.
"Henry!" Will cried out, stiffening as Henry tightened his grip on him almost painfully.
Bigfoot growled a soft warning deep in his chest, but he slowly removed his hand. Henry threw a mildly apologetic glance at Helen before pleading with Will.
"I've been worried sick. Sick!" Henry hissed through gritted teeth. "I thought you were mortally injured, or dead."
Magnus gaped at the unexpected dynamic unfolding before her eyes. It was vexing, if she were to be honest; worrisome, for sure. It was also a little bit heartbreaking, and she felt she didn't have enough information here to know precisely what to say. She felt for Henry, for she loved him like a son, but she could sense Will wanted to be alone right now.
Ashley intervened, reading her mother's face. "He's been like that since we got the call. He was merely homicidal and impossible before that, while you were incommunicado," she added, her voice dripping with sarcasm. It was actually quite a deft move on her part, defusing a volatile situation with her dismissive tone.
Magnus nodded once, sharply. "Well, Henry. We thank you for your concern, but I think Will actually needs his rest right now. As you can see, he's in one piece, as am I," she said politely, but iron lurked under the velvet tone.
Henry looked from Helen to Will, who wouldn't look at him. He wants to be alone. Oh. Ouch. Oh. Am I being selfish here? He let go of Will's arm. "I'm sorry," he said, looking like someone had just kicked his puppy. He looked over at Bigfoot and repeated the apology. "M'sorry."
"It's alright. I... uh... I'm just tired," Will offered blandly, but he took one look at Henry and his heart fell. He realized Magnus was giving him an out, but he could only imagine if their positions were reversed. How worried would he have been if it had been Henry in that sub instead of him? His heart told him: plenty. His decision was made.
"Actually... Henry, would you mind bringing me some hot cocoa, or tea? I've got this chill, but I don't think I can make it past my room without collapsing." He figured Henry was good company, and a shoulder to lean on might be better than curling up under the blankets alone. It was worth a try, and he could always ask Henry to give him some space if needed. "I'm sorry to impose."
"No. Not at all," Henry interjected swiftly. "I'll... meet you in your room?" he added, glancing over at Magnus for either approval or permission. He couldn't tell which. It was interesting how he naturally deferred to Helen. They all did.
"You let him rest, now," Helen said, sounding very much like a mother.
"I'll be quiet as a mouse," Henry offered sheepishly. He gave Will and adoring grateful look as he passed him on his way to the kitchen.
Will could only offer a wan smile in return before announcing, "I think I should retire now, while I can still stand." He barely waited for Helen's nod before walking away at last.
"Come on, mom. I can help you with the lab stuff," Ashley said, taking her mother's arm.
"Careful with that," Helen told Bigfoot, already busy with the next task at hand.
Ashley hung on to her mother, the persistent contact the only sign that she had been almost as worried for her as Henry had been for Will.
Will's door was ajar, so Henry knocked and walked in slowly after hearing no reply. "Are you decent?" he joked lamely. It had been torture to leave Will out of his sight when he smelled so lost and scared, especially when Henry had been plenty lost and scared himself, and mad with worry.
He found Will sitting on his bed, fully clothed and staring at the wall, still as a statue.
"I brought you cocoa. I thought it would be more comforting than tea." Henry stood for a moment, studying Will.
"Hey," Will the apathetic ghost replied. "Thanks."
Henry set the small tray with the cocoa and biscuits on the night table and went to close the door. He walked back and knelt in front of Will, his eyes concerned.
"Hey, yourself. Baby? What is it? What do you want me to do?" he asked the seated man. After his little scene outside with Bigfoot, Henry wouldn't be surprised if Will merely sent him away. He was well aware Will asking him for a beverage had been a courtesy to let him save face in front of the others. "Do you want to be alone?" he reluctantly asked. Please say no. Please, say no. Don't send me away. I've been dying all night and since afternoon.
Will's haunted eyes left the wall and descended to meet Henry's. "Yes," he answered mildly. "No." There was another pause. "I don't know."
"Okay. Tell you what," Henry replied. "I'll tell you what I think, and you can tell me if I'm wrong. That alright?"
Will nodded his assent, looking very young.
"You smell a mess. Wait. That came out all wrong. You always smell beautiful to me, but your scent is all... wrong. Wonky. Like, the emotional roller-coaster from hell ran you over and dragged your carcass for a few miles, wonky. You have that sea water and deathly afraid smell, and then there's a tang of aggression under it, and relief. Then there's the adrenalin whiff, and tears. Ever since you got here, it's all I can do not to wolf out and take you to my den to guard you and keep you safe," Henry blurted out. He took a deep breath. For someone who was terrible at talking about feelings, he was pretty good at verbalizing all these sensory impressions. "How am I doing, so far?"
Will's face barely changed, but he was now wringing and scratching his hands as if he had an itch that wouldn't quit all over the back of his hands. Henry took them firmly and brought them to his face to kiss the fists Will made in response.
"I'll do whatever you want. I'll draw you a hot bath, and you can wash all the confusing smells off your skin for starters. I'm pretty sure you'd feel better. Or I can take a hike, now that I know you're unhurt," he offered again, weakly. Will's silence was beginning to worry him.
"I just," Will finally spoke. "I couldn't... didn't want to fall apart out there, in front of everyone." He sounded like a ghost, compounding Henry's first visual impression upon arriving in Will's room.
Clammy hands, barely responsive. Fuck. "Will, baby. I think you're in shock. Maybe we should go to the infirmary."
Will's face crumpled for a moment as he shook his head no. His voice broke. "It was horrible."
Henry rubbed Will's cold hands until they started to unclench and felt like live human flesh again. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
Will shook his head much more emphatically this time, but the movement slowed down as his features wavered with tears that wouldn't come. He started trembling, but still his eyes remained stubbornly dry. Henry got up and wrapped his strong arms around Will's lean form, who dissolved convulsively into his embrace.
"Oh, God," Will said, even though he was pretty firmly agnostic. "Oh, Jeez," he continued. It was nothing but the learned cultural response to extreme duress of the kind Will had lived through today.
"I got you. I got you, baby." Oh, man, I love you so much. I wish I could make it all go away.
"Don't go," Will said a few times.
Henry's voice tightened with emotion. "Not going anywhere," he managed to reply, and his eyes watered when Will started sobbing against his chest.
But Will's eyes were still dry. Henry let Will cling to him, muttering words of comfort where appropriate. If his voice became more gravelly, and his ears took on a more pointed appearance, neither noticed. A long time passed, and more than once Will's shivering became so pronounced and uncontrollable Henry wasn't entirely convinced Will didn't have the bends.
"I killed her."
The whispered pronouncement startled a response out of Henry. "What?"
"I had to," Will continued, his voice hoarse and airy. He made a choking sound trying to take a deep breath. "I almost couldn't bring her back."
It sounded like the words had been tortured out of him. The tears finally came.
"I had to," Will sobbed brokenly.
"I know, baby. I know. I believe you," Henry replied dutifully. He didn't know. He had no idea what the hell Will was talking about, although he could fancy a guess. But he did believe Will. He believed him with all his heart, and not only because of his trust and his love for the man. The new, improved Henry could literally smell a lie.
Henry held Will for the longest time, until his tears ran out. He pulled up the hem of his tee shirt to wipe both tears and snot from Will's face, thinking: Dude, this is the sign of true love right here. He was about to pull it back down when he felt Will's hands stop him, tugging at his shirt as if trying to pull it off him. Then Henry realized there was no 'as if' in the equation. Will was tugging his shirt off him, pleading with his eyes.
"Please," Will said uncertainly, his breath still sobby and uneven.
Henry could only blink at him stupidly for a moment before he understood what was going on and he raised his arms up to let Will yank the tee shirt off him the rest of the way.
"Please," Will repeated desperately, moving in for a sloppy kiss.
"You're sure about this?" Henry mumbled afterwards, gently cradling Will's blotchy, flushed face in his hands. He took in the swollen, mildly bloodshot eyes, the red nose and the puffy, quivering mouth and decided he still found that face utterly beautiful.
A litany of whispered begging was his reply, and Henry's heart swelled so much that he hungrily kissed Will into silence if only to prevent an ill-advised I love you to fall from his lips at a very inopportune time.
Will, for his part, was consumed with the need to feel the heat of Henry's touch. He felt like it was the only thing that could drive that accursed chill out from his bones. He kept seeing Helen's dead face every time he closed his eyes, but he could bear it as long as Henry was kissing him. He could feel the depth of what he took for a very intense passion, maybe even the beginnings of love, in Henry's every touch. It was the only thing keeping him sane. He felt things he could not name, an instinct to surrender his body to this fiery man, a sense of coming home that he couldn't recognize because he had always been a gypsy, a nomad without one.
All he knew for certain was the rightness he felt when he was with Henry. He was glad he didn't follow his initial gut instinct to tough this out alone. He might have gotten lost in a morass of regret without Henry there to ground him. Will went to a place beyond words, where he could only moan and beg wordlessly for Henry's touch, where the weight of Henry's body was the only thing preventing him from shattering into a million pieces to be blown away by the wind.
TBC