Title: The beginning of love

Fandom: Sanctuary

Characters: Henry Foss, Will Zimmerman, Bigfoot

Rating: M, for very suggestive, yet not-quite-explicit nummy, sexy acts. A few instances of profanity and other strong, or suggestive language.

Summary: It's kiss and make up time. All is not well with the boys, but progress is made. Did I mention the kiss and make up part? Part 5 of the New Beginnings series. Set immediately following part 4. New beginnings follows my previous series in the same verse: One door closes. Set before, during and after episode 9.

Warnings: This story is quite clearly Henry/Will slash, and happily so. If you're afraid of, or otherwise offended by, SLASH then; might I advise you to RUN, not walk, away as fast as your little underage, or otherwise insecure/bigoted legs can carry you? Thanks. That will be all. What? You're still here? Oh. Well, then. Have at it, if you will.

Notes: This one needed some extensive rewriting, but here it goes at last. My thanks to those who've sent me feedback. It helps keep me focused and it feeds the muses like nothing else. I watched episode 10, and is it me, or does the slash write itself? Yes, there's definitely a part 6 coming, after watching that ep. ;D

Some of the dialogue in the series will be taken directly from the corresponding episode's script. If you've watched it, you'll know exactly where it ends and my own dialogue begins. Subtext added by the author's fiery imagination for all things slash. Complete phrases or sentences in italics represent character thoughts. Single words italicized for emphasis. Title inspired by this quote:

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit
our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

Thomas Merton

Bigfoot glared daggers at both men. He cuffed Henry up the side of his head, and then did the same to Will. Then he covered them both in a thick blanket and escorted them to Henry's room, grumbling under his breath the whole time. The two men meekly allowed themselves to be led there, not talking. Henry noticed Will limping, and he put his arm around him for support.

Will looked at Henry out of the corner of his eye as they walked. In a soft voice, he said, "You're a good man, Charlie Brown."

Henry offered him a sad little smirk in return. "Does that make you Lucy, or the little red-haired girl?"

"I... uh," Will began, not expecting Henry to even get the reference to his childhood cartoons. "I think I'd rather be Snoopy. Lucy's mean. And, well, she's a girl."

"Hey, you brought it up," Henry replied, in an echo of their usual banter, but it was clear his heart wasn't in it.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Will's foot stuck to the floor a little as he walked, and it had started to hurt, as the initial numbness wore off.

Finally, Bigfoot ushered them into the room. He noticed the faint trail of bloody footprints Will had left all the way there and he let out a long-suffering groan.

He gave Will a measuring look before turning to Henry. "Do you want him here?" he said, referring to Will.

Henry glanced at Will, then at Bigfoot. "We'll be fine."

"Do you have a first aid kit?" Bigfoot asked Henry, who nodded his assent.

"Try not to break anything else," he then scolded. Henry rolled his eyes but gave his friend a sheepish smile of gratitude. Will was taken aback, but he just looked from Bigfoot to Henry, trying to follow their cues.

"Okay," Will finally said and, seemingly appeased, Bigfoot left them alone.

Will turned his attention to Henry, who had gone back to not looking at him and was staring listlessly at the floor instead. "Uh... you should probably have a soak. I'll run you a warm bath as soon as I disinfect this," he said, limping away towards the bathroom.

He found the first aid kit and jumped when he turned around to find Henry standing right behind him. "Shit, you... I didn't hear you," he explained.

Henry gave him a sad smile and took the kit from his hand. "Gimme that," he said mildly. "Sit."

Will did as he was told, sitting on the bathroom's comfy cushioned chair. Henry knelt in front of him and pulled his foot up to look at the cut. He got up and wet a small towel to remove dust and debris. He resumed kneeling in front of Will, carefully cleaning the sole of his foot first with the towel, then with a disinfectant cloth. He then rummaged through the kit, locating things like bandages, and topical antibiotic. Will did nothing except watch Henry as he lovingly took care of him. Having someone to fuss over him and take care of him like this was something that Will had had very little of in his lifetime. It was a strange and welcome feeling.

"There," Henry said finally. "All done."

"You didn't have to do that," Will said softly.

Henry gazed up at Will, his sad expression brightening slightly. "Yeah. I know. That's kinda the point of all of this." Or it would be, if we were in a real relationship.

Will looked down at his bandaged foot. He flexed it a little before putting it on the ground. "I'm really not used to this," he said, with a jittery, nervous laugh. Not that others hadn't tried to take care of him in the past, but Will had never allowed it. He almost considered it a weakness.

"Jesus, Lord. What were you, raised by wolves?" Henry joked, and they both froze. Henry's face contorted into a pained expression and he sucked air through his teeth. "That," he said haltingly, "was a really unfortunate choice of words."

Suddenly, Will started to laugh. He tried not to, very hard, so it ended up sounding like a giggle under his breath. Henry looked up at Will through his lashes, beginning to pout, but ended up snorting and chuckling himself.

"You always find a way to make me laugh," Will said, with that open smile that never failed to grab a hold of Henry's heart and squeeze. He couldn't deny that every time Will smiled like that, it was as if the whole room was illuminated. Henry found little joy in that realization today.

"Yeah, that's me. A regular comedian," Henry muttered with just a note of bitterness.

Will sobered up immediately. "Please, don't do that. Don't twist my words. Don't look for reasons to hate me. I know I've screwed up a lot." He laughed nervously and essayed a lame joke. "This is why I'm single. Can we talk this over? There's something that's still bothering you."

"Oh, God, this sucks!" Henry exclaimed, his insides roiling. "Do we really have to talk about this stuff now?"

"Look, I hate talking about my feelings as much as the next guy, but we kinda have to. Psych background trumps testosterone. We can always pretend this never happened later?" Will offered.

Henry groaned.

"If we don't, you'll just be moping every day for the foreseeable future, and I'll hurl everything I eat for the next week or so. Nervous tension goes to my stomach. We'll make each other and everyone around us miserable. And then they'll be forced to plan our deaths," Will said, only half-jokingly.

"I don't frigging mope," Henry replied, sounding testy.

This is no good. I'm just upsetting him again. Will answered him very carefully. "I admit you didn't strike me as the type when we met but, lately, you've had ample reasons to be... melancholy."

"Melancholy? Really? You actually talk like that," Henry countered. "You wanna recite some poetry too, while you're at it?"

Will did not take the bait. "Henry, you're avoiding."

Again with the psychobabble. "Oh, God," Henry growled softly.

Relieved that it was a very human growl, Will worded his next thought carefully. "Look, I know you're mad. I know I'm difficult. But I'm afraid if we shut each other out now, later when we come to our senses we'll be too embarrassed and hurt to open up again. I don't wanna risk it. Please?"

Another groan sounded Henry's defeat. "Couldn't we just fight it out?"

"Do you wanna hit me?" Will asked, casually. "I guess I deserve it, but is this really how you want to settle things between us?"

Henry made a face. "Not really. It was a joke. You know, joke? Ha ha? But, hey, we could go to the gym. Take it out on the sandbag, like normal guys."

Will actually considered it for a moment before shaking his head. "We're in no shape for that. We're just gonna have to suck it up and do this, okay?"

Henry heaved a resigned sigh. "What's there to talk about?"

"You're not gonna make this easy. Are you?" Will asked tiredly.

"I dunno," Henry muttered. He looked defiantly up at Will. "Should I?"

Okay. I deserved that. "Henry, I'm a pain in the ass. I'm not very good at stuff that's outside my comfort zone. I know this. But I value your friendship, and I value who you are as a human being."

Seeing the way Henry's jaw clenched when Will spoke of friendship, he hastened to add, "I haven't really had time to digest the fact that we're more than just friends now. This isn't something I've ever experienced. And the pace of our lives here doesn't allow much time for introspection, if you know what I mean."

Henry rolled his eyes. "Maybe, if you stopped talking about it like you're in a wildlife documentary, that would help."

"But... I... I'm simply trying to understand," Will began haltingly.

"What, Will?" Henry said, a little sadly. "What do you want to understand? That sex with a guy isn't what you thought it was? I think we got that covered. That maybe your life doesn't have to be the wife and 1.2 kids and the white picket fence? Is there really that much to think about? How about you just frigging live and not try to define every little thing that life throws your way?"

Will was stunned into silence. He had been made aware often enough that his overly cerebral way of looking at things wasn't always the most sound. It could be a tremendous asset at work, but in real life? He could try the patience of a saint.

Henry took deep, calming breaths.

"How about you stop making lists and go with your gut, for once? What do you want? Hm?" Henry insisted earnestly, but at the same time he raised a hand and soothingly caressed Will's chest. Like calming a skittish colt, eh? Ah, Will, you'll be the death of me.

"I... uh... I don't know, Henry. I want... more time?" Will replied. He saw Henry wince and added, "Don't misunderstand. I mean more time... with you. I like spending time with you. I like that we can talk about anything. I like you. I like who I am when we're alone together."

"I'll be disappointed if that's the only thing you like when we're alone together," Henry deadpanned.

Will gave him a half-hearted smile and covered Henry's hand with his. "Look, I love being with you. I do. And you're right. I think too much. But I had my life pretty much figured out when Magnus showed up and shattered everything I thought my career was going to be. I moved into the Sanctuary, which is the stuff of fantasy in the eyes of the rest of the world. It's a lot, Henry."

"And then you came along," Will added, his voice softening. "Everything's changed. Some days I wonder if I cracked. What if I'm in an asylum somewhere, drugged to the tits and hallucinating all of this?" Will looked into Henry's eyes. "I'm scared, okay? Can you be patient with me? I know that's not what you want to hear, and I," he paused, and had to clear his throat. "I don't wanna push you away." Will stopped, biting the corners of his lips nervously.

Henry had never seen him do that. He was sure it meant something, whether good or bad. He gazed into Will's eyes with longing. What could he say to all of that? It was more than he had gotten out of Will the whole time they'd been sleeping together. He nodded, not knowing what to say, even though he felt like he should say something.

Will nodded back stiffly, breaking eye contact. His gaze flitted around the bathroom wall behind Henry. They both cleared their throats in a curious canon that made them look at each other again.

The silence stretched, and Will began to nervously tap his heel against the cool tiled floor. Henry's eyes fixated on Will's swiftly bouncing knee.

"Say something," Will finally blurted out.

"I'm sorry," Henry said. "I dunno what to say to all that. I'm still not entirely sure what it all meant, to be honest. Other than the being patient part, and that's a yes. You know I will be."

"What it meant," Will said carefully after a moment's thought. "I guess I'm asking you not to give up on me just yet."

Henry eased himself between Will's knees and wrapped his arms around his waist. This morning had started something like this, with his face pressed against Will's bare chest.

Will kept trying to figure himself out, even as he reached up to pet Henry's hair, which was going all over the place, standing up at odd angles. It made Will smile.

"I better draw you that bath before you catch a chill, if you didn't already," Will mumbled after a long pause.

"I'm good here," Henry said, not wanting to let go. "Although I can't even believe you still wanna be around me after today."

Will turned to face Henry. "Why wouldn't I? Are you fishing for compliments? Okay, how about because you're the best man I know."

Henry's throat constricted. He didn't even try to speak for a long time. He let go of Will and sat back on the floor and against the wall, idly wondering if it was all the hormonal and genetic changes doing this or if perhaps Will's secret superpower was turning people bipolar.

"Bath," Will said awkwardly as he stood up to start one.

Henry watched him move, the sleek grace of the man. He decided shirtless, barefoot, jean-clad Will was his new favorite fetish. In his clothes, Will often looked like just a skinny guy with a cute face. Henry had been stunned the first time he caught Will without a shirt on. He certainly wasn't overly muscled, but he did have a very nicely toned, lean and shapely physique that Henry could only describe as perfect.

Will left the water running and leaned back against the tiles, facing Henry. He looked at him for a few moments before saying, "I believe I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. I'm not afraid of you, Henry."

"Okay," Henry said. He snorted. "Not that it hasn't crossed my mind, but that's not at all what I was thinking."

"Really?" Will asked, puzzled.

"Oh, yeah." Henry found it impossibly cute that Will didn't get it.

Steam soon began to obscure the room around them. Henry had not realized he'd gotten up until he was standing in front of Will, who was gaping at him with a vague look of hunger on his face. That look alone made Henry's heart rate rise.

"So," Will croaked.

"We shouldn't... we should just stop. It's not safe for you," Henry muttered out of the blue, the last of his reservations coming to the fore.

Will's gaze moved from Henry's eyes and down his body. They stopped below the belt. A belt Henry didn't have, along with the pants he wasn't wearing.

"You're sending me mixed messages here," Will said, and worried his bottom lip.

I love you too much. "I want you too much," Henry replied, unfazed. He was merely worried about getting Will hurt. He was certainly not ashamed of his desire.

Will leaned in and kissed Henry like a man starved for the taste of his lips. He wrapped his long arms around the shorter man as if afraid he might run away.

Henry had already grabbed Will by the waist, but as the kiss deepened, his hands roamed Will's sides and back, caressing him with increasing fervor. He heard as well as felt Will moan into the kiss, and then they were crushing one another in a desperate embrace.

Eventually they came up for air. Will held Henry close, pecking little kisses on his lips until he caught his eye. Henry's eyes were a vibrant blue, his normal human color, Will noticed.

"Do you trust me?" Will asked. He waited for Henry's nod of assent before adding, "You would never hurt me. Trust me."

"I'd never forgive myself," Henry whispered, his eyes glazed with lust and emotion.

"You won't have to," Will said, his voice tightening in response. His heart beat furiously in his chest. For a man. This is it. This is the sign I was waiting for. This isn't fear I'm feeling. It is what it is. Henry. I wouldn't have imagined it in a million years.

"Give me another chance," Will said, knowing his uncertainty was partly responsible for Henry's volatile behavior lately. Their faces were so close that his breath tickled Henry's lips.

"Aw, baby," Henry mumbled, before giving Will a hard kiss on the lips. Of course, he thought, but said, "You have to ask?"

Will's face seemed to glow from within, his smile a nearly palpable source of light in Henry's eyes. Will's eyes seemed to change color, sometimes blue, but most often green. Henry was fascinated by Will's eyes, because they contained every possible color. He had a wide ring of yellow, amber, and brown specks all around his pupils, while the rest of the iris showed some green, grey and even violet, but mostly they were blue. They were so rich and beautiful, Henry sometimes felt he wanted to lick them.

"Shit," Will said, suddenly. "The water!" he explained, suddenly realizing the bath had been running for a while now. The tub was nearly full to the brim but had not spilled, which was a relief. He hardly needed to add water damage to the tally of the day's events, especially considering it was still early morning and they had already thrashed one room. He heard Henry snort behind him as he drained some of the water out so that it wouldn't spill when Henry got in.

He looked uncertainly over his shoulder and matched Henry's timid grin with one of his own.

"Your bath is ready," Will said impishly, and suddenly Henry was very serious.

All ambivalence was gone from Henry's body language. His eyes held Will's intensely, that alone making the simple act of taking off his shirt and letting it drop to pool at his feet one of seduction.

Will felt heat rise through his body as a noticeable flush colored his skin from his navel up to the roots of his hair. Henry's solid presence put to rest any remaining doubts in Will's mind. This man was everything he wanted. Not because he was a man, but because it was Henry. Will's very skin seemed to tighten in response, and every reaction of his body echoed his thoughts.

It was instinct and scent more than conscious thought that which told Henry they had just experienced a breakthrough. He felt his nostril's flare with a visceral understanding of it, and he held out his hand to Will.

There was no hesitation as Will reached out to accept Henry's proffered hand. He let Henry lead him and they stepped into the over-sized tub; bandage, jeans and all. They grinned conspiratorially at each other as the heavy fabric got wet, and Henry kissed Will fondly before pulling him down to his knees as he carefully sat down. They kissed and pawed at each other, grasping. Their near desperation was born of the fact that they understood that something had almost broken between them today, and that they had barely averted a disaster that could have torn them apart for good.

Hands cradled, held and caressed. They catalogued one another's features with touch, and Henry's feverish responses told Will that he was finally learning a thing or two about that art. Feelings not fully formed clashed in both their throats, and often their mouths would try to shape words that never came out. Will's heavy, waterlogged jeans were uncomfortable, but he couldn't spare them a thought as he finally accepted that those nameless feelings he had for Henry went well past friendship.

Henry seemed to sense that, because he eventually made up his mind and pulled away from Will's mouth long enough to speak. He felt that the bath water should by all rights be evaporating from all the heat passing between their bodies. He could feel Will straining the fabric of his jeans, and it was both tantalizing and frustrating.

"Will," he said, sounding breathless. His eyes were like an open book. "Will, are you ready?"

Will knew exactly what that question meant. Air was expelled in a sharp gust from his lungs as his body caught up with the words. "God, yes," he whispered forcefully.

Speaking became useless at that point.

They tasted of each other to their heart's content, exploring every inch of their bodies with abandon until the water started getting cold. In a flurry of toweling off and making out, they somehow found their way to Henry's bed, more or less dry. Will's jeans were a distant memory by then. If their vision was blurry from time to time from the intensity of their lovemaking, they would later deny it.

Will surrendered himself to Henry, freely, passionately. For once, there was no thought, just instinct and the indulgence of a bone deep desire. Henry drank his passion and his fears with his kisses. He held Will's stunned gaze towards the end, until the moment completion crashed into his skull and he fell apart, shaping a dozen silent I love you's against Will's flesh in the guise of mouthing his chest.

Henry felt urgent hands grabbing and squeezing his shoulders, and so he moved, leaving a trail of loving, fiery kisses along Will's torso. Sensation made Will gasp for breath, and a supernova blossomed behind his eyes. By the time their passions had ebbed, Will was still shivering deliciously, boneless and mute with disbelief.

While his sweaty brow rested on the shallow valley above Will's hip joint, Henry took the time to catch his breath. His left hand lovingly roamed Will's legs as he waited for his eyes to focus again. Eventually, a cautious Henry climbed back up the bed and lay on his side next to Will. He kissed his lover's cheek and asked in a hoarse voice, "Hey. You okay?"

Will gave Henry a swift sidelong glance that was equal parts embarrassment and amusement. He looked up at the ceiling before shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath. A fleeting smile ran across his lips and faded.

"I want more," Will finally said.

Henry snorted and something like a giggle followed. A wide grin split his face and Will thought he had never seen Henry look so purely happy. It was infectious.

"Boy, am I glad to hear that," Henry said jokingly, but his expression was one of adoration.

Will rolled over to his side with some effort to face Henry. He was loosely biting his bottom lip as he studied his lover's face. "I'm not kidding," he said.

Henry kissed him chastely on the lips before replying. "Neither am I."

"Good," Will said, and they kissed some more, savoring their shared bliss.

"Henry?" Will asked between kisses. "I realize now this never came up, but," he paused, memorizing Henry's face this relaxed. He unconsciously put on a boyish face before he could bring himself to ask. "Can I go next?"

Henry's eyes widened for a moment, surprised that Will would ask that in a tone that presupposed Henry might mind such a request. "What?" he said, beaming. "Dude, relax. I thought you'd never ask," Henry added softly, a twinkle in his eye.

Will heaved a relieved sigh and grinned. "You'll tell me if I'm doing something wrong?"

"I am committed to your education," Henry shot back, laughing with his eyes.

"Smart-ass," Will mumbled with a stifled laugh.

That precise expression of wonder, of a kid in a candy store, was the look Henry wanted to put on Will's face every day for the rest of their lives. He had once or twice believed he had found love, Henry had. It had been nothing like this. He could have never predicted the ineffable immensity of what he felt for this William Zimmerman.

Henry didn't care why it had happened, or how. Only the fact that he didn't know if Will would ever be able to return this feeling caused him a deep heartache that gave his happiness a twist of pain. Will had given him his friendship, and his body. Maybe his heart wouldn't be far behind?

Will missed the nuances of Henry's silence, as he was too caught up in all the new feelings and the indescribable sense of satiation he'd experienced. The newness of it was addictive, almost as much as Henry's touch, and he wanted to explore it further. He wanted to return in kind at least some of the pleasure Henry had given him, and it gave him a great sense of accomplishment to see how responsive Henry was to his touch.

At one point, Henry had to stop Will from taking him too close to the edge. He pushed Will to arm's length for a moment, breathing hard. "I've created a monster," he joked, and Will beamed at him with hunger in his eyes. They kissed once again, and time ran away with their senses until a thick blanket of ecstasy enveloped all.

"H-Henry," Will finally managed in a thin, breathless voice, meaning to ask if his lover was alright. I think... I could... Maybe I do love you...

Henry had forgotten about the simple fact that he was always left feeling frightfully vulnerable after the act. He heard so many things in Will's tremulous voice that his hand flew up to lay a finger over his lover's lips. The fact that the first word out of Will's mouth had been his name was enough. He'd be lovesick as a puppy for days after this, and he didn't think he could bear Will avoiding him because he'd said something he didn't mean because he was blissed out.

"Shh," Henry shushed, pulling the sheets over them with some effort, since they were mostly pinned under their legs.

Will was shaky, all the excitement of the day catching up with him. He settled himself in Henry's embrace, nuzzling his lover with a tired smile. He felt Henry kiss the top of his head and purred softly in return. The relaxing warmth of the sheets made him realize how exhausted he was, even as his muscles began to let him know that his enthusiasm had exceeded his stamina.

Henry thought that if he were to die like this, with a love hangover and Will in his arms, he would die a happy man, indeed. It wasn't much longer before they passed out in each other's arms, like boys are wont to do.

TBC