Title: All my roads have bends

Fandom: Sanctuary

Characters: Henry Foss, Will Zimmerman, Ashley Magnus, Bigfoot

Rating: M, for explicit allusions to nummy, sexy acts that we shan't mention outright. A few instances of profanity and other strong, or suggestive language.

Summary: Missing scene set immediately after the sequence of events depicted in Episode 11: Instinct.

Last chapter of the series New beginnings, which follows my previous series in the same 'verse: One door closes.

Warnings: Some SPOILERS for Episode 11: Instinct. You have been warned.

This story is quite clearly Henry/Will slash, and happily so. If you're afraid of, or otherwise offended by, SLASH then; might I advise you to RUN, not walk, away as fast as your little underage, or otherwise insecure/bigoted legs can carry you? Thanks. That will be all. What? You're still here? Oh. Well, then. Have at it, if you will.

Notes: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Solstice, Happy Holidays to All! This will be the last installment of New beginnings, and just in times for Xmas, heh. But have no fear, I will most likely continue writing in this tangential universe, because I feel the love, and the love is strong. However, any further stories will happen in a series (or single story) of a different name. These new beginnings were arduous at times, wonderful at others, and they must now give way to other things. I hope you've enjoyed reading these stories so far.

Some of the dialogue in the series will be taken directly from the episode's script. If you've watched it, you'll know exactly where it ends and my own begins. Subtext added by the author's fiery imagination for all things slash.

Complete phrases or sentences in italics represent character thoughts. Single words italicized for emphasis. Title inspired by this quote:

Seems like I've been here before, can't remember when
I get this funny feeling, we'll be together again;
No straight lines make up my life, all my roads have bends;
No clear cut beginnings; so far, no dead ends.--Tom Chapin

"Can I talk to you a moment?"

Will's voice broke the silence.

Henry was still feeling good about the kiss. All in all, and barring all the incidental and unrelated loss of life, it had been a great couple of days. Helen finally trusted him enough to go out on the field on a mission, even if she only did it so he would stop moping about his breakup with Will. Of course, to call it a breakup implied they had actually broken up, as opposed to having had their falling out and never speaking to one another again about anything outside of work. Oh, Will had tried to apologize numerous times, but Henry wasn't hearing it. He was glad to have Bigfoot running interference some of the time, or his resolve might have worn down by now. Will was nothing if not persistent.

Another big reason to feel good was Amy. Sure, she's treacherous and untrustworthy, Henry thought bitterly, but then, who isn't? She was hot, that was all that mattered to Henry. And she had been trying to work him all through the mission. He had her figured out from the get go, but did he mention she was hot? And she'd kissed him just now. In front of everybody. He wasn't too proud to admit that the fact that Will had been there to see it had made the kiss that much sweeter. Take that, closet boy. But enough about Will, he thought. The whole point of the kiss and the mission and the hot, hot girl is to take my mind off Will's stupid, albeit cute, ass.

It was more wishful thinking than anything else. Henry's feelings for Will were real. They were not going to up and disappear in a few days, nor weeks. However, Henry was of the opinion that anything that gave him a respite from heartbreak was worth milking to the last drop. He probably would call Amy, even though he was pretty sure she'd be none too happy about the great footage 'switcheroo' they had played on her.

The last thing he needed was Will intruding in his feelgood time. "I'm a little busy," Henry lied. "What do you want?"

"This is awkward," Will said, licking his lips nervously. "Henry, it's about Amy."

"You're kidding," Henry deadpanned.

"I know what you're gonna say, so I'll just tell you. Be careful with her, Henry. She has a hidden agenda," Will continued, looking at Henry like he couldn't believe the man was that gullible. It hurt him to see Henry get used by that shrew of a woman.

"Do tell," Henry said, giving Will even more figurative rope with which to hang himself.

"Come on, man. You have got to see it. She's just an overambitious tramp trying to get in your pants so she can get an exclusive on the Sanctuary."

Henry's anger boiled up from the soles of his feet until he could feel it steaming out of his ears. He faked a dramatic gasp and spoke in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well, thank you, Will. We're so lucky you're here. I'm so glad I have people like you to inform me of such things since I'm obviously too fucking stupid to have known that already."

"That's... Henry, that's not what I meant."

"I don't care what you meant. And more importantly, what business is it of yours anyway?"

"Ah, come on, Henry," Will said with a pained expression. "Are we really going to play this game?"

"I wasn't the one playing games," Henry said, deadly serious.

"Neither was I," Will replied firmly. "You know this. I know I hurt you. I don't deny that, but don't try to act like I don't care. Don't act like I'm not hurting too, like I don't miss you."

Henry didn't answer that. He figured it was a good thing the latest drug cocktail Helen had cooked up for him was doing its job controlling the change, because he was fuming. His lips were tight and his face was set in stone.

"The reason I bring it up," Will started, then stopped. Awesome. You said, so awesome, when she kissed you. One stupid little kiss and you went all fanboy on her. Your words, not mine. You don't even know her. He said none of those things.

"I never saw you so... happy when we..." Will paused again, gathering his composure because he felt his voice almost waver. "She's just trying to use you, and I couldn't stand it. I had to say something. As your friend."

"I know what she's all about, and I don't care. She's hot. I'm not looking to marry her. It's very clear to me that she's all about her career and that she's not looking to get involved with anyone. None of that prevents us from having a little fun. At least I know exactly where I stand with her."

"That's not fair," Will said, choking with jealousy and hurt. Henry had just admitted he was going to pursue something with Amy.

"Yeah, well. I've only recently learned that life isn't fair," Henry said, but his stomach was roiling too much for him to enjoy Will's obvious discomfort.

"I didn't take you for a vindictive person." Will stood like a statue. Only his eyes darted everywhere as he tried to understand what was happening here.

"You think this is about you?" Henry said, his anger renewed. "You got some balls, man. What do you want me to do? Sit in my room and cry all day because you're an idiot? This is about me. Me, moving on."

"You said you loved me," Will mumbled, feeling naked.

Henry could have smacked him. "Oh, so now you're jealous. Shit. I should have done this weeks ago. Might have done wonders about your figuring yourself out."

"There's no need to be an asshole about it," Will retorted fiercely. "I'm not... well, yeah. I am. A little. Okay, a lot... but," Will continued.

"I'm not having this conversation with you," Henry interrupted. "Since we're no longer fucking," he added quite deliberately, "where I dip my stick is not your concern any more."

"Oh, that's nice. Are you really that hard up that you need to hit that floozy for sex?" Will finally blurted out through clenched teeth.

"You knew going in that I was bisexual, Will," Henry said in an even, cordial tone. His face, however, was completely cold and shut off. "As... are you, I guess. How is this a shock to you? Not that it matters any more."

"It matters. It matters to me," Will replied as calmly as he could. "Look, I don't wanna fight. That's not what I came here for."

Henry threw him a look and nodded, merely saying, "Hm." Funny way of showing it.

"I'm serious, Henry. I'm going about this all wrong. Look, I... uh... I've thought about it, and I allowed myself this one time to be weak and pathetic. It's a one shot deal. I promise it won't happen again. So here it goes... I'm gonna ask you. Does she... um... make you happy?"

Henry threw his hands up in the air, gaping at Will incredulously. The man was making no sense at all. He was hard enough to follow when he was. "What is this? As the Sanctuary turns? Abnormals of our lives? I just met the girl. What the hell am I supposed to even say to that?" Henry replied, stunned. "You're unbelievable!" he said, with a shrug.

Will looked down at the floor and launched into yet another apology.

"I know what I said to you that day was horrible and unfair. Not only that, but it was in extremely poor taste. You don't know how much I wish I could take it all back, or press some cosmic delete button and make it so that conversation never happened." He paused for a moment. "You're still angry with me, I understand that. I deserve it. I know I deserve it. I just... I hope that this isn't something that you can never forgive. I don't care if I have to say I'm sorry a thousand times. I just hope you'll give me the chance to redeem myself somehow."

It took some effort for Henry not to roll his eyes. "Nice speech. How long have you been practicing that one for?"

"Jesus, Henry! I'm trying here. Can't you see that I'm trying really hard to make you see that I get it? How many ways can I say I'm sorry? What do you want me to do? Please, tell me."

"I want you to leave me alone," Henry ground out. He could feel his defenses weakening, and he didn't want to give in so soon. Perhaps what Will had said was not enough to be unforgivable, but it was close.

"You don't mean that," Will said sadly. It was almost a question.

"Don't tell me what I mean," Henry barked. He made an annoyed sound in his throat and lowered his voice to an angry hiss.

"I went in there, opened my stupid heart up to you, and you... took a crap all over it." Henry's pain was still raw.

"It was a knee-jerk reaction, Henry. I didn't mean it. I just knew it would shut you up. It was stupid, and childish, and... and there were drugs in my system." Will's face crumpled for just a moment. "And I know how lame that sounds. Please, you have to believe I would have never said that in my right mind." Will babbled on desperately, feeling an avenue of communication had finally opened. "Henry, I need you."

"Whatever. You are right about the jerk part, though," Henry said acidly. He was too angry to control his more cutting remarks, and at the same time seeing Will so upset awakened feelings that he had worked very hard to quell.

"Henry," Will pleaded in a hushed voice. "Let's talk about this." Don't give up on me. Don't.

"You know what? Why don't you look me up when you're tired of playing games? Hm?" Henry said coldly, and walked away.

"Henry," Will called out, following Henry and grabbing his arm to stop him.

Henry turned around, pivoting around the arm Will grabbed and socked him in the jaw with his free hand.

Will didn't even see the fist fly towards his face, but he felt it. He stumbled and went down, as he was mid-step and off-balance when Henry hit him. He heard Henry muttering 'shit' just a moment later, or at least he was fairly sure he did.

Henry tried to help Will up, but Will batted his hands away while holding his jaw in one hand.

"Oh, my God! Are you trying to make my mom's head explode?" a royally pissed Ashley called out, hurrying over to help Will to his feet. She had walked out of the elevator just in time to witness the last leg of the debacle.

"It was reflex," Henry said, sounding winded. "I'm so sorry. I was angry, but I didn't mean to..." His eyes were comically wide, but no one was amused.

Will still wasn't talking. He merely looked incredulously at Henry, then Ashley back and forth.

Ashley spoke in a tone that would have made any drill sergeant proud.

"Listen, morons. Your little lovers' spat was cute for a while, but now it's just beyond annoying. Bigfoot's moodier than usual, and mom's going through the roof with you two, so get your idiot act together before I knock both of your asses out. Is that clear?"

"Aw, come on, Ash!" Henry protested doggedly. "After the shit he pulled he has the nerve to act like I'm cheating on him with Amy or something."

"You told everyone, didn't you?" Will asked, defeated.

Henry winced slightly, then crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the far side of the room.

Will gingerly held his jaw in one hand, which he moved slowly in case it was unhinged or the like. He was still sitting on the floor. A part of him was afraid he might attack Henry if he got up. He wasn't even angry, it was just instinct.

"You know, you're lucky I don't have my gun right now," Ashley replied after taking them both in. "Henry, stop being an ass. How many times has he tried to apologize now? Either forgive him or don't, already."

Henry blushed beet red and sniffed angrily through his nose as he looked well away from both Will and Ashley. His expression slowly turned to chagrin.

Ashley rounded on the other man. "And you, Will. You fucking idiot. You don't deserve him, you know. Don't you have a mirror? Can't you see how bleeding miserable you've been these last few days? Even mom joked about us pretty soon needing to have you taken out back and shot. Mom. Are you the only person on this continent that hasn't figured out that you have it as bad for the runt wonder here as he does for you?" She took a deep breath and let it out in an exasperated sigh. "Although what you two see in each other, I'll never now."

"Gee, thanks, Ash," Henry said hoarsely, but a hint of his usual sarcasm. "You're a true friend."

"Yeah, whatever," Ashley retorted. Her inflection made it clear Henry and her had rubbed off on each other over time. Like most long-time friends, they sometimes sounded alike, or at least phrased things alike. She was pretty intense as a rule, but her current tone broached absolutely no arguments. "Now, if you're both going to behave, I guess I'll leave you two to talk. So talk." It wasn't a request. She glared a warning at both men. "In the meantime, I think I'll go oil my baseball bat," she added meaningfully before walking away.

Both men watched Ashley leave, using the time to avoid looking at each other. Will once again broke the silence first.

"So, can you?"

Henry didn't answer right away, and when he did, he was evasive. "What?"

"Do you think you'll be able to forgive me?" Will asked clearly. He stared at the floor. He wanted to be angrier at Henry for hitting him, but he couldn't. A part of him felt like he deserved the punishment. Will wanted to put that part of him in therapy post haste. No way was it okay to hit someone you love, no matter how angry they made you. On the other hand, he could believe Henry was telling the truth about not meaning to hit Will. He himself had in the past reacted violently when touched unexpectedly.

"I don't know. I want to forgive you," Henry said. After a pause, his voice was airy and unsure. "But I'm so angry."

"You're angry? I don't wanna get up because I'm afraid I'll punch you back," Will deadpanned, looking sad.

Henry shook his head. "Maybe you should."

Will sighed. "I used to think that once a couple, or friends, came to lose respect for each other so much that they came to blows, that the relationship was unsalvageable. It would have to be over. At least I thought hitting one another meant all interpersonal respect had been lost."

Henry had the decency to flinch at the words. "I'm really sorry I hit you, man. That wasn't supposed to happen."

Will raised his gaze to meet Henry's and nodded meaningfully. "Sometimes things... happen that you wish you could take back."

Henry closed his eyes and expelled a gust of breath. "I guess." I set myself up for that one, didn't I?

"The point is... there's a lot of things I thought I knew," Will continued. "In fact, there's whole lists of things I thought I'd figured out for myself, and now I realize I don't know shit."

Henry looked over at Will sadly. "You know enough," he offered kindly.

"No, I don't," Will said, and broke down. "If I did, I wouldn't have lost you," he added, crying quietly.

The last of Henry's anger cracked and dissolved. "Oh, dammit, Will," he mumbled, kneeling to gather the taller man in his arms.

Will slipped his long arms under Henry's and clung to him. "I'm so sorry," he said. I'm miserable without you. I feel empty and sad every day, and all that co-dependent crap I should run away screaming from. "Please, forgive me."

"It's okay, Will. Sh, it's okay." Henry let go of his own grief, feeling it wash away along with his anger so long as he was touching Will. You know you're gonna give him another chance and he's just gonna fuck up again. He's not up for this. Half his life is still in the closet. All the good reasons to make a clean break with Will came rushing at Henry, but he countered them all with one simple phrase. I love him. His logical mind raged against him. Maybe it's a mistake, but I love him. End of discussion.

"God, I've missed you so much," Will mumbled, hanging on to Henry like he was a lifeline. "Feeling you like this."

"Whoa, baby. Ribs," Henry said, slightly pained. Will didn't know his own strength.

"Sorry. Sorry," Will repeated, loosing his embrace some.

"It's okay, baby," Henry replied, and one hand started petting Will's hair. "It's gonna be okay."

Will nodded, his face pressed against Henry's chest. After a long silence, Will managed a deep, steady breath, and he pulled away to look up at Henry.

"Hey," Henry said, an unsteady smile on his lips.

"I care about you, Henry. You make my life so much richer," Will mumbled. He felt drawn to Henry's lips, and he let the gravity field that centered around Henry's mouth pull him in.

Henry kissed him, because not doing so would have been a sin, but he cut the kiss short after a few moments.

"Will, I... I have to tell you something."

Will's glazed eyes blinked a few times, trying to focus. "I don't care if you slept with her. I don't wanna know," he finally said.

"No. That's not... I didn't... I mean... that's not it at all." Henry was both sad and amused that Will had missed the point so completely.

"Oh," Will said dumbly, and blushed. He waited for Henry to have his say.

Henry hesitated, but in the end he spoke, haltingly. "I forgive you, Will. I do. But that doesn't mean we're together again."

Will looked devastated. He pushed his chin towards his chest, ducking his head and staring down at his lap. His jaw was still throbbing madly.

Henry felt Will's pain almost as if it was his own. He gently took hold of Will's chin and brought it up, making Will look at him.

"I'm not being mean to you, here. I'm just trying to be fair to myself," Henry explained. "From the get go, I've been playing at a disadvantage with you, because you knew how I feel about you. I can't put myself out there again like that. You can't just... take my love, and just be friends in return. It doesn't work like that. I know I said it didn't matter, but that was then. That was before..."

"Before I threw it back in your face. I... uh... I understand," Will said, but he felt a shiver when he thought of how painful these days without Henry had been. He fidgeted awkwardly, feeling everywhere that Henry was still touching him.

"It doesn't need to mean we're strangers either," Henry said mildly, squeezing Will's shoulder and shyly caressing his arm. "I guess... we're back to... taking it slow?"

Anything. Just don't leave me alone again. "I can... I can live with that," Will mumbled. "So, we're... what? Dating?"

Henry shrugged at Will with a half smile. "Sure," he drawled.

"Does that mean I can still ask you for a kiss?" Will insisted.

Henry ducked his head trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile. "Yeah, I guess that'd be all right."

Will reached up to cup Henry's face with his hand. "Good," he said softly. "Because I've missed your lips so much I've been slowly going insane."

Henry's last thought before their mouths touched was, Oh, Will, you bastard.

Losing himself in the kiss was easy for Will. He had been longing for this, and mere days had felt like years. He put all of his pent up desire, his loneliness, his guilt and regret into it. He also did his best to make Henry feel all the love he did have for him. The kiss went on forever, while the world around them went away.

"You bastard," Henry whispered dazedly when they finally came up for air, echoing his previous thoughts. They were both lying on the floor on their sides, and Will's shirt was halfway unbuttoned and out of his pants where it had been neatly tucked in before. Henry's tee shirt was riding all the way up to his upper back, and the top button of his fly was open. He could barely focus his eyes, let alone breathe normally.

Will broke into a smile that wavered as he sucked breath in through his teeth. "I do," he croaked, and had to clear his throat before trying again. "I do have big, huge, scary feelings for you, Henry." He grew more serious. "Things I can't name just yet. I... hope I don't succeed in driving you away before I have a chance to show you."

Henry reached over to trace Will's eyebrows with the tips of his fingers. "You do? I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say here. Help me out," he offered. The way Will was trembling all over like he was cold told Henry that maybe he had misjudged Will this whole time. Maybe it wasn't that he lacked the feelings. Maybe he was simply terrified of them. He wasn't sure if that was better or worse. "What are you saying, Will?"

Will let out a little nervous chuckle and he placed his hands on Henry's chest, grabbing on to his tee shirt for support. "I'm saying... I'm saying I've never been so miserable as I was without you. I'm saying that I need you, that I want to be with you... with all my heart." He grimaced, and his eyes begged Henry to understand what he wasn't saying.

"Are you... do you find that there's certain words that you can't bring yourself to say out loud? Is that what we're talking about here, or am I missing the point completely?"

Will nodded emphatically. "I'm... yeah. I'm saying... I'm trying to... to say everything I should have said to you that day."

"You don't have to," Henry started, but was interrupted.

"Yes, I do. You need to know. I need you to know," Will said, letting go of Henry and sitting up. "Because I... never felt like this before. I never... cared so much about someone that their absence made me feel like I was dying. And I always thought people were being stupid and melodramatic when they said that, by the way." He swallowed a lump in his throat before continuing. "I need you to know that I saw you, that I realize that you proved your love for me every day, that you showed me in so many ways that I cannot begin to list them. I need you to know," Will pressed on hoarsely. "You need to know how amazing, and how important it was to me that you were able to find me inside that monster."

Henry sat up as well, and his mouth was dry. Will was right. He needed to hear these things. "Baby," he interjected.

"Please, let me finish," Will said quickly. His voice broke. "You brought me back. You were my anchor. If you hadn't been there, I might have killed a very good friend. I need you to know that I understand that you saved me from becoming a murderer, and God knows I love you for that. When I snapped at you, Henry, that wasn't me. That was my fear lashing out, because I'd never let anyone get so close, so deep."

Henry felt his breath catch, and it was his turn to become emotional. He didn't interrupt Will.

Will sucked in deep lungfuls of breath, now that the pressure he had been carrying in his chest was finally gone.

"I'm sorry I was such an ungrateful brat."

"Com'ere," Henry muttered, pulling Will back into a strong embrace. "There's nothing more to forgive. Nothing."

Will grabbed Henry's face in his hands, holding it so he could look directly into his eyes. "Henry," he said intensely, his whole body shivering with the force of everything he couldn't bring himself to say. His lips kept moving, but he couldn't form words.

"Okay," Henry whispered, nodding as much as Will's hands allowed him. "Okay. I understand. Now, I know."

"Don't give up on me," Will managed.

Henry's voice was both giddy and tearful. "Don't give me reason to, and I probably never will."

* * *

THE END, for now...