Wishful

A Chihiro One shot

??.10.08

What does she have that I don't?

What is she that I'm not?

I looked at him again, a longing look in my eyes. He is always so cheerful, so funny yet he is very sensitive and very kind, he'd do anything for his friends, even though he has to hurt his own feelings.

I know he likes her, that Mihane girl, so I try to be just like her, to make him notice me. I know it's wrong. I know it's bad for me, because I'm not being myself.

But I'm so hopeless, I'm so pathetic that I'd do anything to catch his attention. I've liked him for so long already, I've noticed him as a man, earlier than she finally did.

I'm more caring that she is, more sensitive than she is towards his feelings, so why won't he looked at me with the same look he gave her?

That loving look. She doesn't even think of him as a boyfriend material before Sawa broke up with her. She only called him when she needed him. Treating him so badly like that.

You know I won't do such things like that. So why don't you give me a chance? Look at me!

And yet, he still loves her, more than anything in this world.

Sometimes I wonder, if I call him, crying, will he hug me like he did to her? Will he come to me running? Will he bother to listen to me? Will he even pick up his phone when a girl like me, a girl that everyone forgets so easily, calls him?

No. He won't why would he? I'm not Mihane, so why would he do those things for me? Those are for Mihane, not me. I don't deserve that because I'm just a Tsukino, not a Mihane, a Tsukino.

Or, maybe he will. Because he's very kind and all, maybe he'll listen to me. Even though the chance is very small, but maybe, just maybe he will, pick up his phone and listen to me babbling.

How am I supposed to know? I never call him, never have the courage to.

But maybe now is the time to know?

I force my quivering fingers to press the call button I've been toying with for so long and surprised myself when I heard his voice on the other side, calling my name in great anxiety.

My hearts went aflutter and I could almost feel butterflies in my stomach, hearing his voice so close to me is so delighting. And knowing that he remembered my name was even more pleasant.

And as I predicted, I babbled. A lot, so NOT Mihane. Mihane would just talk like she doesn't care a world about Chihiro, which maybe she does, before Sawa dumped her that is. But I managed to tell him, how I feel, and what I thought, what I've been keeping in mind, what I've been thinking about him and Mihane, all the while making sure I didn't say something wrong. God knows everything will go 'KABOOM' once I insult Mihane...

I figure everything will go bad and all, once I finished babbling, that he will says something bad to me or maybe he will just close the phone. Dear me, what if he closed the phone already and I'm talking to myself like an idiot all the while? Good heavens please don't let that happen...

Once I finish talking, I wait. Waiting to hear his voice again. But nothing comes out. No, not even one word.

I let a bitter smile playing on my face.

"Well, that's not a surprise…." I whisper to the phone.

"What's not a surprise, Tsu-chan?"

I literally jump when I hear the awaiting question.

"Chi…Chihiro-kun? You, you still there?"

"Erm…yeah. So, um, that's some confession, ne, Tsu-chan?"

"Ye-yeah…" I can barely hear my weak voice between all the thumping sound my heart makes.

"Well, I have to go now. I'll see you later!"

"Oh…okay." disappointment is coating all over my voice as I closed the phone and sigh heavily.

"You get rejected~ you get rejected~"

I sing repeatedly in a vacant melancholic voice and stopped when the bell rings. I walk limply to open the door and am about to tell the salesman to scram when my lips are met by someone else's

My eyes widen in shock and my jaw drop (not literally)

"Merry Christmas Tsu-chan!" Chihiro said merrily, expecting for some sort of response which he doesn't get.

He tilts his head before making a whole bunch of funny faces. I snort before finally bursting into laughter, he joining me later.

"I love you too, Tsu-chan" he said between laughter.

"That's good." I managed to reply before he dips me into a kiss one more time.